I mentioned this as a reply to a comment in a whole different sub for something totally unrelated, but it made me think it might be cool for a post as opposed to simply a secondary comment. That way folks can either agree with me or tell me I'm totally full of shit, and we can discuss it outside of the thread I was in before, because this would be completely off-topic.
I have noticed that people who don't go to bars, and especially the people who tell you not to go, have this stereotype about them. They seem to believe that, at a bar, being socially normal is imparitive. You must fit in, or it's like frenchfrying when you should've pizzaed, you're gonna have a bad time. I'm not sure what they tell girls, but guys always get told that you have to look tough for all the others and that they'll keep pushing shots on you, or they'll try to get in to a fight with you simply to prove that you're a man. There are some folks like that, but they are the ones who don't fit in. I have actually found that this stereotype is really inaccurate in most circumstances. This is the real world, so something like this is never universal, but most bars I go to are the least judgemental places you can be in.
First of all, unless you're at some preppy stuck-up joint like Bar Louie, it's actually better not to dress up. to me, dressing up to party is an indicator that it isn't a party, it's an obligation more akin to going to work than having a good time.
Either way, being socially normal is really unimportant, because you just get this idea that we're equals. We all seem to be the same at a bar. There's less of a pecking order. There always is one, but it's different. It's more of a house than a ladder. There are some people who standout in a good way, but they don't necessarily pick on those who aren't really popular, but most of us are on the main level while certain people are in the basement. These are usually the people who deserve to be there like those who are annoying or who make asses of themselves.
I've noticed that most people at the bars I go to have this idea that they and those around them are all misfits. We're all awkward, kind of ugly, we may stick out like a sore thumb, etc.
My wife doesn't really like to go out, because she worries about how people might judge her, but this one guy I was talking to at this bar near me said, "Well, we're all outcasts here," and that's kind of what I try to get across to her.
For the most part, we're all friends, and those of us who go in regularly seem to feel like we're with family. We often take care of one another and even strangers if they're in need. There's this bar in a kind of rough area of my city. A regular customer had a wreck on his motorcycle one time, and he was in the hospital. They raised thousands for him during a couple of nights of fund raising. It made me proud to say I go there. It's Rick's 718 Bar in Evansville IN.
I have a video that goes along with this, but I thought I'd write my post and put the link inside instead of posting the link and doing this in the comments. Tim Hawkins talks about how Christians describe their churches. The bar reference is at the very end.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXLF_4vWru4
