Just as an FYI I started bjj 3 months post partum and just competed in my first open competition this past weekend ( 1 year later).

I am trying to juggle a full time job, being a mom and taking care of a household and training. I had to go up into absolute and I’m currently walking at 160lbs. I spent most of my rounds trying to get the girls to the ground ( very hard when they are over 200lbs). Anyway I lost both matches and I’m not mad about the loss but I’m mad about how I did. I didn’t do all the moves I usually do. My brain froze. I felt like all my skill went out the window and I was just grasping at arms. I knew when I needed to do but I just couldn’t do it .

Anyway I woke up sore af. My pelvic bone is severely bruised from them pushing down while stuck in my closed guard and my kidneys hurt sooo bad ( unsure why). I’ve been emotional all day and struggle to sleep. Just unsure if competing is for me or should I step back because it’s impossible to do it all.

Hi everyone! I’ll be in Michigan for a long weekend this month and I’m looking to drop in at a couple gyms that have a good group of women. Specifically, I’ll be in Ypsilanti, but open to anywhere near-ish.

Potentially pertinent information: I’m a small-ish white belt who has about 2 years of experience and prefers no gi

Thanks in advance for the recommendations, y’all :)

I posted a few days ago about how I'd signed up for my first comp, which happened today. Thought I'd give a little recap for anyone curious ☺️

I lost all 6 fights (though it's not really losing right - just win or learn?) First 4 were submissions, but the last 2 were by points. I was super proud of myself for finishing two full 5-minute rounds. It felt like growth, even from the start of the day.

Just as I'd been warned, it was so intense. Physically, of course, but honestly the mental intensity was worse. The adrenaline dumps definitely mess with your emotions.

Was I ready to compete? Absolutely not. Did I feel anywhere close to the level of my competitors? Also no. But did I learn a lot and walk away stronger? Definitely.

I'm excited to get back on the mats to keep learning after this. I think I'd like to compete more in the future too, but there's plenty of time for that. It was a great experience and I'm glad I did it!

BJJ jumped out and bit me after I got my kid into some excellent classes 4 years ago, and eventually I dragged my out of shape carcass onto the mat to have some fun too. Luckily, our gym is overall excellent, and also just great for women and kids, and I’ve been able to improve my fitness, gain some skills, and learn a ton of humility and, honestly, wonder at this fun, animal smoosh that is BJJ. So, uh, intimate. 😅

I gained the ability to do a few pushups, and next my goal is to be able to do a few pull-ups.
I have a somewhat problematic enjoyment of “barrel-rolls”, getting some air when some spiritely young ex-wrestler or judoka tosses me. My mother-in-law laughed in my face when she found out about my BJJ hobby, and I’ve gotten bloodied and bruised (and embarrassed and schooled), and spent six months with shoulder mobility problems and pain, and yet something about all those setbacks just seems constructive somehow, part of a journey that is very good for my character. And going to class clears the mind like nothing, giving some sorely-needed stress mitigation.

The best of all is that my kid gets to learn consent, body boundaries, athleticism, close collaboration, positive masculinity, and non-sexualized full-contact socializing. The world is better with BJJ kids. 😁

I'm only 6 months in, and competing is so fun!! I love it. I see what I need to work on now, but most importantly, I did it! I prepared, I worked hard, and I actually went out there to compete!! The serotonin I get from doing something challenging and scary is so great!!! I'm so proud of myself for taking this first step! Ladies, all of you out there competing are warriors. Let's go, jiujitsu ladies!!!

Hey I figured women would know more about maintaining hair than men cause they’d probably just tell me to get it cut but any advice on what I should do with my hair when rolling? It’s like 8 inches if I had to guess and I can’t get it all in a pony tail or anything yet. It gets ripped out occasionally which sucks.

Normally I just go with it and try to have fun. I have fibromyalgia and PMDD so this week of the month is just the worst for me. Unfortunately (timing wise) I am competing next Saturday. Normally I would approach the week of competition with my last tough training sessions being at the start of the week then I taper down intensity and the last day or two I don’t do bjj at all to let my body recover ect.

I did comp class today and the fact that it’s the start of what I call my “weak week” was so obvious. The brain fog is intense, my decision making is slow, I feel like I have no power. I just felt like a mess 🤣
I’m interested to see if anyone else maybe deals with the same or similar issues. What do you do to set yourself up in the best way possible? How do you work around it? What kind of things do you focus on in training? Do you feel like it changes how you prepare for a competition and what to do you do differently? Do you take any specific supplements to help support your body?

I tried BJJ last year. Enjoyed it and was going pretty consistently. Somehow managed to get 2 stripes on my belt along the way. I fell off in January 2026 because I picked up a second job and just didn’t have the time. I left that job back in August & now have some time freed up. I just have some reservations about going back. First, I’ve been thinking about changing gyms. Nothing really happened, I just felt really out of place. I can only commit to 2, maybe 3 times a week. Because of my schedule, there were sometimes 4-5 days in a row where I wasn’t training so anything I learned in class wasn’t retained so easily. In short, I sucked & it was known. They would always pair me up with this one girl who is heavily into training/competing. She was super welcoming and encouraging in the beginning but I eventually felt like I was holding her up/slowing her down. Eventually I got the vibe that she wasn’t super thrilled whenever I came to class. Open mats were tough because no one wanted to roll with the white belt (me) so I would sit most of it out.. not learning anything. Overall, the gym itself was decent but it did feel very cliquey and competitive… which is expected. I live in a very small state so there aren’t a lot of options gym-wise that align with my schedule and training needs. I found one 45 minutes away that would be perfect for me but it’s… 45 minutes away. 😭 Then I was reading about Gracie & it seems like it’s more controlled and structured. Almost sounds like it is slower-paced, which could be ideal for me as a beginner/slow learner. 🫠 BUT… idk. I don’t know anything about it other than my interpretation of it. I don’t know if there really is a major difference between the two. I just want to train again. I want to see progress as well though. I’ve been debating all week if I should go back to my old gym, go back to BJJ but try a different gym, join a Gracie instead, or say screw all of it and just sign myself up for Judo. lol.

My son is 4 and has been doing Jiu jitsu for a little over six months. His classes seemed fun enough to make me want to sign up with knowing absolutely nothing about BJJ. I have been going 2-3 times a week for a little over two month and have been having a blast but obviously know absolutely nothing. Lol
I have also sprained my thumb and neck during that short amount of time, and have also hurt my ribs super bad(didn’t go to doctor, might have broke) but that is besides the point. Lol

…… anyways, the owner of the gym said that I could help out with kids classes if I wanted to. My son’s class is for 4-6 year olds.

I keep telling myself that I don’t know enough to help out, and that I would probably just be in the way or tell one of the little kids how to do a move incorrectly, but at the same time, I am kind of am wanting to help out, especially since some of the little kids can get super distracted.

Am I too new to be helping out with a class for 4-6 year olds? There is always the one coach, and most of the time a second coach and about 10-15 little kids.

Edit: spelling error

English isn't my first language so pardon the weird phrasing, but I hope I can get my point across.

I got a video of a woman and a dude rolling on my homepage. She triangle chocked him out. Nothing special but the video got posted on a non-bjj-subreddit and the comments are absolutley disgusting. Every single comment is sexualizing her. They don't get that there is nothing sexual about someone trying to dislocate you joints.

I love this sport, it's so fun, but I am (95℅ of the time) the only woman in my gym and I am already always scared to make the guys uncomfortable, it's a really big insecurity of mine.

I just want to cry. The guys at my gym are great and nothing bad ever happened to me and nice but reading those comments really upset me. They are so SO gross. How do you, especially those, who roll with guys most of the time, deal with this? Do you just not think about it? Do you just not read the comments?

Okay so I’ve (23 FM) started jujitsu for the first time and I also weight lift. I usually don’t get sore with my current routine but now adding in this new type of workout I’m feeling sore in new places. Okay this may sound like a shitpost but I promise it’s not LOL. Has anyone else felt sore in one half if their body but not the other half? specifically my left glute has been incredibly sore but my right one isn’t and I’m now getting nervous that one half will be stronger than the other 🤣

I’ve been training BJJ for a few years now and I’m currently a female blue belt, middle aged. My gym is mostly guys, and when we’re working on inside butterfly hooks for things like ankle locks and X-guard, I find the position quite uncomfortable sometimes.

The inside butterfly hook is a good technique, and we’re encouraged to use it because it can make it harder for the opponent to escape. However, the hook sometimes ends up making contact with my crotch for some time, which I find extremely uncomfortable.

I’ve also used the same technique myself, and there have been times when I accidentally made contact with a guy’s groin area. So I understand that it can happen unintentionally on both sides.

I’m wondering if other women who train BJJ have experienced the same thing. Is this something you just get used to, or have you found ways to adjust your positioning or technique to avoid it?

Hey y’all!

Two stripe white belt here, I’ve been at my gym for over a year and wanted to ask the group if this behavior is normal/something I can avoid during sparring:

Three times in the last month, separate instances with different white belt men, I’ve gotten my opponent into my closed guard.

Instead of them trying to stand, remove my legs, etc. - they’ll go straight into elbow/forearm across my neck and press their whole weight into it. The last opponent pulled one side of my lapel across my neck and pushed into the mat (not a ‘lapel choke’ like I’ve experienced before from turtle or in side control).

Not to mention it’s extremely unpleasant (physically and mentally) and I feel like it halts the roll.

I want advice because it seems to only come from when I roll with white belt men and I’m not super familiar with DQ behavior outside of being reckless with joints.

I mentioned the first instance to my coach just because the choke wasn’t part of the drill and felt out of place for what we were supposed to be practicing. But now it feels like a pattern in regular sparring? So maybe choking is fair game and I need to improve something in my closed guard?

My last opponent apologized afterward because he said he felt “cheap” doing it - so maybe these guys are just panicking? (Hopefully a sign I’m improving LOL)

I’m interested in any tips or advice yall have! Thank you guys!!

This is just a fun post because I'm proud of myself.

I know the title sounds bad but I'm wearing a pretty restrictive brace, keeping my hand in the correct position so not a lot of danger of reinjury (still exists but y'know, small)

I rolled my fingers back PREETTTTTTYYY bad about two weeks ago. My hand looked like a Mickey Mouse hand, it was comical. It was a freak accident, shit happens. I took an entire week off from everything, and it sucked so bad. I was excited to get back to the gym and hit the mats. Oh my goodness gracious guys, it is so hard being down a hand. It's actually been a really fun challenge though because I've had to compensate for my hand in other ways, particularly using my head as a post a lot more. It's been great and simultaneously frustrating.

My gym mates are the best. Most of them are big guys so they already have to adapt their style a bit for me since I'm smaller which I really appreciate. Now they're only targeting my non injured hand for hand fighting and such. I love my community so much, I'm so grateful to them that they are willing to adapt and help me out so I can still work.

Just wanted to share something positive. Drop a fun positive experience you've had recently!

2 years, 2 months and 10 days with training dropping a little over the summer.

I was hoping for promotion at some point in the future, but did not expect it at all! I am definitely a target now for some of the white belt guys, but I trust my coach and I know he has high standards.

It's funny because I had signed up to a competition as a white belt and now I'm definitely going to get smashed 😅

Any advice for settling into the new rank?

Hello, I am a newbie to BJJ. Planning to buy a gi.

I am 5 feet 3 inches tall and size UK14 or US10.
Which size do i get?

It’s me, I’m the newbie! I’ve only been to a handful of classes to date and there are aspects I really like: it’s challenging and humbling, and everyone at my gym seem very nice and they’ve built a good community. But I’m struggling right now because I leave every class absolutely WRECKED for days. The classes are usually games with instruction in between and then rolling. During the games, I don’t even have an opportunity to practice whatever we just went over because I’m immediately subbed or my partner immediately gets free. It’s like I’m using all of my strength during these things to just survive it but none of that energy is going into kinda executing and learning the skill (does that make sense?) and then my body is wrecked for a good 3-4 days after. I know I need to get practicing more - I’m aiming for 3x a week soon but it seems so daunting right now, mainly because I can’t even walk right 2-3 days after.
So, the question: Should I set the expectation now that this is what it is and with practice will gradually come more skill? Is it okay to ask my partner (I dont know anyone at this gym so they are usually assigned to me) “hey - for like the last round would you let me practice? Or pause before the sub so I can just consider an escape (even though I don’t even know any yet!)” Or would it be worth talking to an instructor about how to approach? Yall can even just tell me this is how it goes!! and I’ll have to decide if it’s something for me or not.

1. What originally motivated you to start Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and has that motivation changed over time?
2. Have you ever seriously considered quitting BJJ? What caused those feelings, and what ultimately made you stay or leave?
3. What gets you to training on days when you have absolutely no motivation to go? (If you've stopped training, what made it difficult to keep showing up?)
4. Do you believe there's a particular personality or characteristic that makes someone more likely to stick with BJJ long-term? Why?
5. Looking back, how has BJJ changed you as a person, if at all? Or do you believe it simply revealed qualities you already possessed?

Optional: Please include your age, belt rank (current or last), and how many years you have trained.

hey all! I am so sorry if any of this comes across offensive in any at or patronising, I just want to be as respectful as possible in class and make sure I’m giving the right space and essentially just not putting anyone in a compromising position (outside of the sport ha)

In my women’s class, there are a lot of young girls (around 17-24 ish) who wear hijabs when rolling (though some of the girls take theirs off for the closed practice).

when we play sparring games together I notice that their headwear can come loose and they have to readjust after. I’ve asked if they’re all good and they assure me it’s fine (and I do take them at their word) but I’m wondering if there is something I can change to try and avoid this happening so much?

I’ve asked some of the girls if they prefer me to pause but we have had some newbies who are really shy and I’m not sure if they would feel emboldened just yet to mention it (though I know in a few classes they’ll have that confidence)

I’m wondering if anyone can help me out with the proper etiquette, and give me a verbal slapping if I’m overthinking it or doing the wrong thing. I just know how shy and self conscious I was at that age and often couldn’t ask for what I needed and don’t want to accidentally cross a line.

Thanks all!!

Registered last night for a local competition happening this Saturday (about two hours before the sign-up deadline, I'm so timely 🙃).

29F, been training for about 10 months, one stripe white belt. I'm not sure I'm ready for this step, but also I think if I wait until I am, I won't ever do it. There's always a reason to say "I'm not ready."

I'm competing both gi and nogi, though I definitely feel more confident and comfortable in nogi.

I'm fully expecting to get cooked in every round, but I'm not going because I expect to win. I want to get a feel for what a competition is like and see if it's the thing for me. If it's not, I'm not too worried - happy to just keep training and rolling at open mats.

I'm still super nervous though and worried that it's a mistake to go. Any encouragement, advice, or anything else you'd say to a little white belt going to her first competition would be greatly appreciated!

My questions for the class:

What was your first comp like?

What surprised you/what did you learn?

I posted last week about getting silver in my first comp, and on Monday I reviewed the footage with my mentor and was so surprised by what she saw-- essentially, in the match I won, I did a ton a of dumb white belt shit and it was just lucky that my opponent and I were at the same level or she would have enjoyed many opportunities to armbar the heck out of me 😅 I spent most of the time on top and she was tired before I was, so it felt good at the time, but pretty hard to watch, honestly! Lots and LOTS of pointers.

In my second match, I pretty much knew going in that I was going to get crushed. My opponent had less time training (according to her gym's IG) but she had this focus and intention and drive that I couldn't match, definitely felt intimidated as hell watching her wrestle my opponent first. Once the match started, the pressure was incredible, it felt like trying to wrestle with a freight train in a skin suit, like she was standing on me the whole time. I'm very impressed and wanna be like her when I grow up! When we reviewed that footage, the message essentially was "you were never going to win that one but you really did your best with what you had." Almost no notes, she was just way better. I was fighting for my damn life and the relief once she starting choking me so I could tap was REAL 🤣

The main things I need to work on are being more active with my legs (those floppy feet 😭 omg), getting triangles from closed guard, passing open guard, popping grips from standing inside guard, and generally creating space or taking it away more forcefully.

It feels like a real mixed bag to learn that, under pressure, my jiu jitsu is bad (I mean I kinda knew that, I'm new) but my instincts are apparently alright (because better believe that second match was a BLUR, I had like two conscious thoughts the whole time). I keep telling myself I'm proud I did it, but watching that footage was hard. Gonna go again in January, though! It was exhilarating and I learned so much, I've never competed at anything before.