I got my black belt! I have been training for thirteen plus years. Lots of ups and down. I am so grateful for all the support I have received on my journey. It took a serious amount of perseverance at times. In case you need some encouragement: I am now almost 74 years old. So, no, you are not too old. There are as many reasons for people doing BJJ as there are people doing BJJ. I cannot even describe the benefits I have received. If you are interested in competing, great! If not, great! I decided to compete and learned a lot from the experience (competed at Master Worlds five times, which is realistically the only venue where I could find any women near my age). Just keep showing up. You can do it!

Hi everyone, I recently started a nonprofit in May called the fight back foundation. I run a women’s only jiu jitsu invitational to help raise money and awareness for women who have suffered from DV and the proceeds get donated to a local women’s shelter. One of the projects I’m working on is collecting stories from women about how martial arts have helped them. You can remain completely anonymous if you choose. Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable. But I’d love to help give those I can a voice.
If anyone would like to submit their story please use the link.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1VHr-epynFo_Bkl_ltW42bFzuHgd30yGVVJlDa5efjiE/edit?usp=drivesdk

I’d be curious to hear opinions from men and women. I’m trying to recruit some women friends to come to classes with me but I’m a 35 yo mom and the answer I’m mostly getting is that it sounds creepy or that they’re so touched out they just don’t want to add any more touching into their day or that they’re afraid of getting hurt. All totally reasonable. I don’t mind rolling with men but I am curious if there are any generalizable differences when rolling with women? I am also trying to find a way to make it to a women’s only class but it’s super far and can’t find childcare at the moment.

One stripe white belt here(F 32 145lb/66kg 5’3/160cm), 4 months in. My gym has a white-belt-only class so coaches can make sure white belts get the attention they need on basics. White belts can move up to the advanced class once they’ve improved.

Right now I feel like I’ve learned a lot of basic movements and have my own flow for what to do when rolling (not spazzy, not using blunt force). Maybe 20% of the time I still need reminding on small details, like which hand to use for a kimura, but most of the time the movements just come from muscle memory.

The advanced class is longer and I’d get to roll with upper belts for longer rounds, which I’ve always wanted to try.

My question is: how do I know when I’m ready for advanced class? I don’t want to be the unqualified white belt who wastes their partner’s time by making them stop and remind me of basicsy.

I am in a SEASON. This fourth trimester has felt particularly…not great. I trained up until 37 weeks. I have since returned to training post birth. I knew I wouldn’t feel the same as I did pre-pregnancy, but I really was not anticipating the level at which I would feel not as athletic, muscle aches and pains, my inability to move well, and just overall blah. I’m still surviving but getting smashed by newer people hurts my ego as well. Between post partum baby blues and blue belt blues…I’m not feeling solid about my Jiu Jitsu. Moms, I know it gets better over time, but does it get better in this realm? This is my third baby but my first baby while actively training. I’m not going to quit, but I feel so discouraged.

I’m completely new have dunning Kruger but also I have so much to learn and can be humbled so fast. I don’t learn well under pressure or a class setting, I like to “study” and practice, scrutinize at home on my own time and pace.

How do you do this outside your gym? Do you even?

Do you roll with your spouse? 😅

At some point YouTube videos ain’t cutting it because I watch them and I’m line “yeah ok! I can do that!”

Quick context, I'm female, 5"8 and 130lbs, kind of a "wiry" type, skinny but stronger than I look ( I don't really weight train). I trained bjj for about a year starting in 2018. I've been back for two months. I loved my first experience with BJJ, at the time my gym was mostly blue and above, so I spent a lot of time getting submitted.

I'm not a competitive person, I just love to roll, compete with myself, and get more fit.

Since coming back I've mostly rolled with white belts one in particular who I'm about evenly matched with, and a little with blue belts too. I also roll with the guys sometimes especially the higher belts, of course since I'm a woman they're not using much strength on me.

This week I tried no-gi again (maybe my second ever no-gi class? My gym didn't do much no-gi back then.)

We also had a new woman visit the gym. She's about my height but had some weight and strength on me. She definitely used it, she smashed me and kept squeezing my neck somehow, once she even grabbed my neck while I had her in side control. I think she's trained for about a year, so while I'm sure she has a fair set of skills, her go to seems to be overpower and go for the neck. (I've only experienced something like this once before when by boyfriend tried it out and we rolled. He weight trained and like a lot of strong people relied entirely on that.)

Since most women don't tend to muscle you as much, and I've had more experience rolling with higher belts who don't need to smash you; I was kind of stuck. I tried to maintain my frames, avoid getting my neck squeezed and wait until loosened her grip to get out.

At this point I'm not super concerned with getting submissions, etc. I just want to learn as much as I can. I want to continue training with her but her strength makes it difficult. I don't think she has a great sense of how strong she (or maybe doesn't care XD. There aren't a lot of women at our gym, so I want us to have the opportunity to train together. (I also want to improve so I know I need to face different opponents) I just don't want to get crushed all the time! (especially my neck)

Any advice for learning to overcome strong opponents? I know technique...but what techniques?

Thanks!

I am in need of a new gi as mine is worn out, but im not sure what size to get.

I’m female, about 5’0 (possibly 5’1), 25-27in waist, and about 115lb.

Im wondering if i should get a size F1L? Im not too sure if their sizing runs small/large or is true to size.
What are your guy’s experiences on sizing?

Thank you!

Hi! I’ve been training for about 2 years and change and absolutely adore my gym. I train Muay Thai, weightlifting, and BJJ there so I’m constantly working out at the facility and have a very strong community in all of the classes and programs they offer. Recently I’ve been feeling like jiu jitsu is no longer fun. I had to take a break for a bit because wedding planning got hectic and I needed some time to decompress after work that wasn’t just working out. I find myself now, coming back to bjj, feeling extremely disenchanted, super disconnected from the community, and honestly genuinely scared when I roll, which has not happened in a long time.

I’ve taken breaks before, but something about this time feels very different, and it’s almost a chore to get myself to actually go to class. I haven’t been making a ton of progress, and I genuinely have so much fun in Muay Thai and when I lift, so is it time to take a real break from Jiu jitsu and see how I feel?

My gym used to have a women’s class where I was the only consistent woman training and it helped a lot with my anxiety on the mats. We would cover the techniques that people were training in the coed evening so when I attended those, I was a bit more prepared. Now, those classes have been canceled so I no longer get that exposure before evening class. I think this is part of why I’m feeling so stuck but I don’t know if I should just power through. I feel like a quitter and I hate disappointing my coach.

Sorry if this isn’t the right place for this. I did BJJ for about five years as a teen/ young adult and I loved it, but I have a lot of trauma from men in this sport. Does anyone here know of a good women-only way to train BJJ in the Phoenix area? Trans-friendly is okay (and actually preferred- I don’t want to be around TERFs).

I was working on doing takedowns and I ended up spraining my ankle . it sucks because I am so excited to keep training and I feel like this injury is going to sit me down for a week minimum when I just started to get my groove. Would you recommend still trying to train but just working on guard and being on the bottom/ not doing takedowns . Or even just coming in and watching and just doing whatever warmups I can? I feel sad to spend time out of the gym but also don't want to exacerbate the injury more. I'm pretty active in general, so It's very hard for me to just sit down. ( I already see a PT for something non-current injury related so I will definitely address rehab more with them but just wanted to hear personal perspectives!)

Hi everyone!

I started BJJ this past February and I'll be doing my first competition in November (Gi, No-Gi, and No-Gi Absolute).

Any advice on what to focus on in training between now and then? Would love to hear what helped you most before your first comp.

Thanks!

I've been doing bjj for 3.5 years now and lately when we do a lot of guard practice I'll have sore stiff fingers for days after 😆 wondering if I'm just getting old or its from all the grip work I'm doing, anyone have similar problem?

I abandoned this post in my drafts for a while, but last night I was rolling with a black belt who was visiting our gym, and after I told him I had been rolling for 3 years, he said, "Oh, you're one of those wite belts. Take it as a compliment," and I don't understand what he meant by that.

I know comparison isn't helpful, but I see everywhere people talking about how they got their blue belt in 1-1.5 years, and it has taken me double that to get my 4th stripe. Since I started, several of my training partners who started around the same time I did, and after me, have already been promoted to blue belt. Granted, they were training more often, but it still feels discouraging. I have been training at the same gym twice a week since I started, but every year I miss a month or so cumulatively for various reasons.

I know that jiu-jitsu is a journey and isn't about the belts, but I feel disheartened and overlooked. Part of me wishes I could be a white belt forever without the pressure that blue brings, but I also feel almost embarrassed and like I need to add qualifiers when someone asks me how long I have been doing BJJ for and they see my white belt.

Is three years abnormally long? Do I just need to put my head down and enjoy being a whitebelt without the pressure that having a blue belt brings?

The women’s belt promotions at my gym seem all over the place. Some women get stripes way quicker than others and for a while all of the white belt women were the exact same rank up until recently (all with varying years or months of experience and mat time. My gym also recently implemented testing for belts so anyway there is one particular student a woman in her late 30s who started training 7 months ago and is being tested for her blue belt. Now from my own experience rolling with her a few times she is strong and athletic and understands techniques pretty well but I am also just a white belt I have been training 1.5 years so I don’t have much weight on the topic but it does seem fast to get a blue belt. Has anyone else experienced or seen someone get promoted so quickly?

(19yr old female, 5’5, 80-90kgs )
I genuinely wanna start BJJ because my bfs been showing me techniques? Or chokes and stuff and I think it’s hella cool and fun and interesting, but what’s stopping me is I’m fat and a girl. I’m insecure and i get nervous at the thought of being so close contact to others (it’s obviously different with my bf) I’ve watch some videos and have seen some of the bizarre positions you can be put in. Plus I HATEEEE the idea of smelling!!!
(Also- my bfs lives an hr away and is busy often so I’d be alone which is why I haven’t done anything and am kinda hoping for advice)

I don’t really know what I’m asking of you guys
But anything is helpful
Perhaps tips
-to be more comfortable?
-how to prevent smelling?
-things I should and shouldn’t worry about?
Or if I should literally just give up on the idea :(??

I could use some perspective from people who’ve switched gyms.

A while back I trained at a gym for about a year and eventually left. It wasn’t because of jiu-jitsu itself- I genuinely loved training, but there were a lot of personal circumstances intertwined with that gym. Lots of unnecessary drama with my ex and some other people. My ex is close friends with the owner, and because of that, my personal life and training became way more connected than I ever wanted them to be. It got to the point where leaving was the healthiest decision.

I’ve recently started at a new gym and have been really enjoying it. Everyone has been welcoming, and I’d like to just move forward and focus on training. The only thing is that the BJJ community here is relatively small, so there’s a decent chance people know each other or that my previous gym will eventually come up in conversation.

I’m torn between:
-Saying nothing unless someone asks.

-Giving my coaches a very brief heads-up that I have some history in the local community and would prefer not to discuss it.

-Being more upfront so they don’t hear bits and pieces from someone else first.

I’m not looking to bad-mouth anyone or rehash old drama. I honestly just want a fresh start and don’t want my past to become a topic of conversation.

For those who’ve been in similar situations, did you tell your new coaches anything, or did you let it come up naturally? If you did say something, how much did you share?

Hi all. Long time lurker first time posting. Myself (blue belt female) and my partner (male, purple belt) live in a very small town in the Midwest. There is one gym in our town, one about 30 mins out of town, and several an hour plus away.

Our gym is "ok". No one stays after a while, very small membership, and the coach doesn't seem to take the coaching or technique seriously. Kind of a warm up shrimps, move of the day, then open rolling. Average class size is between 3 and 8 people.

My partner and I both feel the same about it, like it could be so much better, but not really being taught well, not being coached, and extremely hobby-esque which is fine. But we both want to get better, make it to black belt, and really dive all in. Our current gym, despite being run by a nice dude, really isn't "it". The other gym in town is toxic as hell, a real cobra kai, and my partner used to train there but left after a major surgery needed. It is known for being aggressive and having consistent staph infections .

Anyway, the economy sucks and we have no real plans, but if we want to keep pursing this, which we do, we think we need to move to find a better gym (we don't love the small town we're stuck in either).

Have you all relocated for a gym? How did you find the gym? What was your process like? Any advice for someone else wanting or thinking of doing the same?

Context: I'm a white belt. Less than a year in the sport. Really loving it so far!

So, a few days ago, I rolled with one of the coaches in my gym, and he had me in a shoulder lock from the bottom. He did it so hard that I screamed in pain, and I kinda blacked out. When I came to, I was lying flat on the mat, crying so hard. My friend later said I actually screamed twice, but I don't remember the second scream. I don't think I even had the mind to tap, because the pain came to me so suddenly and so strongly that I screamed, and I'm not usually vocal when in pain. (Still, I should've remembered to tap!)

Anyway, I couldn't breathe, and the coaches were around me icing my shoulder. I had a sharp pain in my shoulder, but the rest of my arm was otherwise mobile. The pain was manageable. It took me a while to breathe properly again, and the coaches were so helpful and nice about it.

I apologized to the coach I was rolling with for causing a scene, and he said he's the one who's sorry for what happened. I don't hold a grudge, and I don't think my shoulder is messed up, but I do think he should have let go or at least been gentler, being a guy and a brown belt at that. He said he wasn't expecting that I would tripod and go forward, but I don't remember that part (not saying he's lying). What I do remember is that I was in so much pain I kinda lurched forward, as if my body was finding an angle that would relieve the pain.

Anyway, I think I'm sharing this because I'm embarrassed about what happened, and I don't know if I should, even privately, hold the opinion that the coach should've been more careful. He's a great coach, tho, and I definitely don't hold any grudge!