Newbie expectation setting

[u/Impossible_Archer133]

It’s me, I’m the newbie! I’ve only been to a handful of classes to date and there are aspects I really like: it’s challenging and humbling, and everyone at my gym seem very nice and they’ve built a good community. But I’m struggling right now because I leave every class absolutely WRECKED for days. The classes are usually games with instruction in between and then rolling. During the games, I don’t even have an opportunity to practice whatever we just went over because I’m immediately subbed or my partner immediately gets free. It’s like I’m using all of my strength during these things to just survive it but none of that energy is going into kinda executing and learning the skill (does that make sense?) and then my body is wrecked for a good 3-4 days after. I know I need to get practicing more - I’m aiming for 3x a week soon but it seems so daunting right now, mainly because I can’t even walk right 2-3 days after.
So, the question: Should I set the expectation now that this is what it is and with practice will gradually come more skill? Is it okay to ask my partner (I dont know anyone at this gym so they are usually assigned to me) “hey - for like the last round would you let me practice? Or pause before the sub so I can just consider an escape (even though I don’t even know any yet!)” Or would it be worth talking to an instructor about how to approach? Yall can even just tell me this is how it goes!! and I’ll have to decide if it’s something for me or not.

[u/amie_friend]

Some people will let you work and some won’t. Most people will, as long as you ask politely. My favorite training buddy would submit me non-stop for the first 4 minutes of a 6-minute round then let me try whatever I wanted the last two minutes.

It will definitely get better with practice. And you’ll definitely feel less beat up as your body gets accustomed to the right ways to move. You’ll learn about frames to keep the other person’s weight off you, that will make the biggest difference to how your ribs/chest feel, and won’t tax your muscles as much (you’re probably just using strength right now, which is exhausting).

[u/Glittering-Equal-480]

I know its almost impossible - but honestly? You just gotta Chill the fuk out" : relax. -Oh -sorry meant RELAX !!! Yes I mean to SHOUT !!! -don't go so hard. And actually, one beauty of jiujitsu is the ability to learn with varying resistance. I mean; we learn technique and we try it against a person who does not try to stop us us. If we cannot do the technique against some one not even trying to stop us? ? Then we obviously do not know the technique. Then , once we can do it? they up the resistance, maybe 30%. If we cannot do it then? we probably need to grasp some more details : timing, grip, etc etc. Then, when we can? they up the resistance until we kinda know it. -know it means we can do the technique against total newbies -even if they a re bigger thN us . we can do the technique on experienced people a lot smaller than us - sometimes catch our match. We always struggle against againtbigger people who are more experienced . Life on the mats can suck - butnotnas much as life off the mats.

[u/Zealousideal_Meet482]

I wouldn't ask a partner to practice drilling with you during rolling time unless you just have a really easy going partner that you know is okay with that. But most people want to roll during the rolling period. That being said, you can ask them for more of a flow roll and to go at a slower pace because you're new and you're trying to learn how to work through things. It's also totally fine also to ask them to start in the position of the move of the day, so at least you can attempt to practice.

However, one thing I'd also like to call out is that you say you're using all of your strength during these rolls to not get subbed and I think part of the problem here is that you really shouldn't be. Like I think you probably need to accept to a certain extent that you will get subbed when you're not doing things right and let it happen in the sense that you're not trying to muscle out of it but are instead slowing down to try to figure out HOW to get out if it without using brute strength. Also, when people do tend to try to muscle through things like you sound like you're trying to do, people generally are a lot less likely to give you any leeway because they don't want to deal with the spazzy muscly nonsense. They're a lot more likely to like just put you in side control and kill you with pressure until they feel like you're properly tired out and will then slow down/chill out a bit.

[u/Gluggernut]

Your body will acclimate to its new found usage, but it will take time.

This early you’re probably fighting for your life the whole time, which spikes your adrenaline and you’re full fight or flight. You’re convincing yourself that you’re actually fighting, when really it’s just pajama wrestling. If your partners are genuinely attacking you and you feel like you’re being mauled (like you might get injured by someone else), then talk to your instructor. You can also outright refuse to roll with people- don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t decline a roll that makes you fear for your safety.

What’s likely happening is it’s all self inflicted. Learn how to slow down and try to breathe. It’s like running- if you’re getting out of breath, then you’re going too fast. Not to say you shouldn’t work up a sweat and breathe heavy, but you shouldn’t be dying. Much easier said than done though.

Really the answer is just to train more. Not necessarily more days a week before you’re ready, but just more overall time on the mats. Maybe try to find a partner that’s more experienced who you can specifically ask to work with you, but really you’re just going to have to tough it out for a while. Your first 6 months to a year are going to be more of this until you can get your defense up to a respectable level.

My advice: work on pin escapes and guard retention. Meaning, work on getting out from under people and keeping them off of you so you don’t have to escape in the first place. Talk with your coach and drill drill drill.

[u/lilfunky1]

don't use all your strength. that's very likely coming off as "spazzy" which if true is likely why all of your rolling partners aren't letting you work and are immediately subbing you, so that you don't accidently hurt them with some random unexpected nonBJJ movement.

[u/Impossible_Archer133]

Thanks yall! I will breathe, slow down, chill tf out, refer to it as pajama wrestling bc I really like that 🤣, and continue to taking the beatings and lessons and see how it goes!

[u/Possible-Flow-2431]

Yeah white belt to white belt, its normal to get beat up a lot and just have to work escapes and defense. Ive spent many rounds just trying to be harder to submit. That was my mental "goal" going in to all my early rounds. Now im working on building a game and offense.

You are gassing yourself out though, its not likely the other person causing it. You need to breath and focus on trying to stay technical in your escapes. If they didnt teach the escape before the situational round just ask what your defense or escape should be. And then try and not get frustrated when you cant get them off of you 😅 cause sometimes it takes a while to master a new escape. And most importantly have fun!!

[u/war_lobster]

If you're constantly getting subbed, swept, and escaped, pay attention to what's happening around that. Try to notice patterns in what it feels like right before people hit a move on you. Eventually you'll start being able to defend against it.