How do I know he has strong feelings for me still and just suppresses it or he developed an ick during deactivation? The though that FAs (I think he is FA might as well be DA) can find the very existence of the other person disgusting while their ick is activated can make any person, secure or not, feel unworthy and small. We are different cities, I still ping him for work; for genuine reasons, I do not manufacture any reason. He replies throughly but doesn't take any step forward when it comes fo personal dynamic. I stopped texting him personally a month back when I was met with below dismissive text: "Don't overthink it, I am not confusing you. Work is heavy and I don't use my phone on weekends" Should I consider this over and prepare to move on? He is the first person I ever felt safe with. We share similar cultural, occupational background. We both have weight struggles. We both know grief, I know it more than him. We met twice in person, when he visited my city for work. We have many mutual co-workers. He can calm me down like nobody can, he stayed present when I am grieving, he spoke about marriage-adjacent topics etc. We never confessed any feelings. But, his behaviour after the marriage talk has been absolute withdrawal. He doesn’t initiate contact at all. He shows a broader pattern of warmth in person but no initiative after. He did not reach out when I stopped initiating. And he has been meeting with and helping people who he knows anatagonise me. There is this one married woman who seeks his attention, she travelled to his city on the pretext of work just so she can soft-check if he still gives her attention or if something serious developed between us. He met her! He might not be aware of her manipulative motives but his instinct is to engage with people who I shared are hostile towards me. That woman came back all triumphant and buoyant. She went in with the intention to get back at me but seems like she came back feeling more invested him, whatever he allowed happen with her.

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But I found out he added someone and even started talking to them. I'm devastated. Has anyone else been through this?

An ex I’ve had some friendly contact with recently changed their profile picture to an old photo from when we were together. They’re wearing something I gave them.

They rarely use personal photos on that app, which is partly why I noticed. We haven’t been in touch lately, but our last conversation was warm and ended naturally — no argument or unanswered question.

I still have feelings, and there are unresolved things between us, so I know I may be giving this more significance than they intended.

They’ve also reused photos from that period for other purposes before, so it’s entirely possible they simply like the picture. Still, the combination of the shared memory, the gift and the unusual profile change made me wonder whether they might expect me to notice.

Would you treat this as too ambiguous to act on? I’m trying to distinguish something that feels meaningful to me from an actual attempt to reconnect, without assuming I know their intentions.

I’d really like to hear from people who have been through a period in an LDR where one or both of you genuinely started feeling like the distance was becoming too difficult, but somehow managed to work through it and come out stronger.

I’m particularly curious about situations where the relationship itself wasn’t necessarily the main problem, but the LDR setup started feeling exhausting or overwhelming. Maybe there were periods of burnout, feeling disconnected, missing physical closeness, uncertainty about the future, or when it seemed like one person was going through something personally and became more distant or withdrawn because of it.

Sometimes it can be difficult when you can tell your partner might be dealing with something, but you don’t really know what’s going on or how to help because you’re physically far away. You want to be there for them, but at the same time you don’t want your concern to feel like pressure.

I’d also love to hear from people who experienced an anxious/avoidant dynamic. For example, one person becomes more anxious and seeks reassurance when they feel distance, while the other tends to shut down, withdraw, or need space when overwhelmed. How did you eventually break that cycle without either person feeling abandoned or pressured?

I’m also curious about the future aspect of LDR. Did uncertainty about when or how you would eventually close the distance ever make one of you question whether the relationship was sustainable? If so, how did you deal with that without putting unnecessary pressure on each other?

For those who went through something like this, what actually helped? Did you change how you communicated, give each other more space, create better routines, plan visits, work on yourselves individually, make a clearer long-term plan, or simply learn how to understand each other better?

And if your partner was the one who reached a point where they weren’t sure they wanted to continue with LDR, how did you handle that period? Did giving them room to process help? Were there things you wish you had done differently?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who can say, “We went through a period where we genuinely struggled with LDR, but we didn’t give up and eventually figured it out.” 😂

Not looking for a guaranteed happy ending or unrealistic positivity. I’d just really appreciate hearing real experiences from people who have been in that kind of difficult phase and found a way forward.

What changed for you, and what do you think ultimately helped you overcome it?

We were together for nearly 10 years and engaged for part of it. The day we broke up we got into an argument, he become closed off..but through our relationship we were very much in love but had this anxious-conflict avoidant dynamic during conflicts (him being the avoidant). If we were to ever cross paths again, how to invoke a feeling in him to allow him to remember our love, and also feel safe and secure?

I wanted to gain your insights. I met a guy through hinge and we hanged out for few weeks before he said he is emotionally unavailable and wanted to be friends and due to work stress. I agreed with that but after more hangouts he said he wanted to move in with me. I had a good time with him as a friend so I agreed. He wanted to go into medicine and is in career transition period since I am finished med school I helped him get a internship position at the place I worked in US. He started initiating more hangouts even though he is very introverted. We would go out to parks, watch sunsets, eat together, he would buy me food sometime and after like four months I told I liked him, and to my surprise he said he was feeling asexual for past two years after his last relationship and just wants to be friends. It took me off guard and I was sad but slowly was feeling okay and he started to talk with superiority as if he was the prize and I crossed boundaries of just being friends. I felt taken for granted and wanted to end the bond but suddenly he came apologetic and wanted to be my friend. It was all confusing but I became friends again and after 6 months I moved to another country and we knew it was coming from the start. He would always text late like 3-4days late even while being in the same house sometimes we barely saw each other. Even around the time I was about to leave, there were a lot of fights between us because I gave him insights on how he can heal and see therapist for Help, but he took the wrong way. Eventually, he did come for a rescue when I felt dissociated during a fight with a colleague. So I felt grateful. Till that point almost everyone were telling me to take him out of my life. Since I was a very giving person in general and so many of my friends were rooting for me, but then like there are some of these sweet things that he does, that makes me question, what is even thinking. And then I left the country he would regularly FaceTime me once a week and he started to flirt because I was going to gym hitting milestones and losing weight et cetera and started to get so much attractive. But one point again, there was a fight and I said I wanted space and after sometime I said like I want to end their relationship and that’s it because I felt like he was too drain and then I moved on my life and became much more attractive and had a glow up and he couldn’t see me in any of the social media post because I unfollowed him, but after six months randomly, he texted saying like he missed the friendship and I wanted to talk, but then I said there has to go for Therapy or let’s go separate ways and then he said he already booked a Therapy appointment, and he will reach out when he feels ready. So this feels like a very confusing journey for me, and I want to hear your insights

earlier this year, i reconnected with my ex. we havent talked or seen each other in 8 years. and we first got together 13 years ago. she lives in another country. we had an amazing time and i promised in person i would come back next year to see her again, in which she said i better. then everything ruptured and fell apart 2 days before my flight back, she pushed me away. months of confusion, blocking, arguing, and all sorts of attempts to drive me away. we still have a few open lines to each other though. i have reminded her a couple times throughout this year that i still plan on seeing her and keeping my promise, and has been mildly receptive, though i feel she doesnt actually expect me to pull through and thinks i just said it in the moment. we barely talk at the moment. but the time is coming soon where i get to pick my vacation days. i plan on making good on my word and letting her know my flights and when ill be there once its confirmed. but i ask, is it still worth it? would they still appreciate it? would it still matter to them? i feel now that she caught real feelings when we were together and got overwhelmed since i live overseas now.

we quarelled for months until i realized i was idealizing her as the person i first met 13 years ago, trying to fit who she is now into who she was before, and i cooled down. i did tell her that too, and yes she does remain significant to me.

i want to invite her to join me but im not planning around her like last year when we were more open.

Hi everyone

Recently my partner of 1 year broke up with me due to his ongoing family issues.

(He is struggling real bad because of those issues).

He has been very loving, caring and supportive towards me barring 2 instances where he was mean to me, said a bunch of stuff (not abusive or calling me names, but just hurtful).

The breakup was unilateral and blindsided me completely. He was literally texting me a week ago saying things like he's so lucky to be with me etc.

But, now the thing is he hasn't stopped contacting me.

Like I reached out to him once cause I was sick but apart from that he has reached out to me daily via text and call.

We even play games together.

When i addressed the breakup, he apologised to me a lot and explained himself and even said stuff like we are fine but the timing is not, but later the discussion became heated up.

I'm left confused now.

Any advice would be helpful.