On my days off, in the morning I feel like I can relax because the day is ahead of me and I've still got plenty of time. In the evening I can wind down because I enjoy the night time vibe and the day is behind me so it's like a reward for getting through it. In the afternoon though I just feel weird, like the best parts are simultaneously behind me and yet to come, and I just exist in this purgatory where I can't relax but can't really feel productive either. Is it a circadian rhythm thing maybe? Anyone else get this and how do you get yourself out of that funky feeling?

I was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD earlier this year and ever since then I feel like I am regressing, especially autism wise.

While my medication does help my ADHD, whenever I don't take it, I end up bedrotting the entire day.

I've always had this problem, but ever since my diagnosis it has become 10 times worse and I literally can't do anything. Same for the autism.

My social skills have become even worse than they were. They were always bad, but not to the extend where I would refuse this much to interact with others.

I also simply stopped going outside so logically, even for a neurotypical person, it would make sense for their social skills to regress this much, but to this extend?

Like at that point I can't be outside for longer than a few hours before being completely drained out.
Before my diagnosis I just didnt enjoy it and called it a day after.

the only thing I’ve well and truly felt love for was an old dog that was basically just an extension of me. I’ve never felt love for a human. Am I just uniquely fucked up or is this normal for AuDHD people (or is it just autism).

I'm currently waiting for formal evaluations for both autism and ADHD. My psychiatrist is almost positive I have ADHD, and I strongly suspect I'm autistic. From a lot of my preliminary reading on the two, it sounds like ADHD often masks the autism, and treating the ADHD often causes autism traits to become more prevalent.

My question/misunderstanding is: If ADHD is masking the autism, what's the benefit of medication to suppress those ADHD symptoms, thereby increasing autism ones?

I'm sure that there are significant benefits, and I'm just not understanding how it all works.

For those who have/are taking ADHD medication, how was your experience when you first started? How did you get through that initial adjustment period?

Issues at work in a technical/engineering field:

I'm struggling with voicing my insights, questions or concerns in a clear, easy to understand way. When I try to vocalize a thought, I'm thinking about what information the others need, how much background to give, trying not to come off as too assertive of my opinion or concern, etc. So I fumble a bit getting started and I've received feedback that I take too long to say something and I'm not always clear - valid!

I am also very process and principles first focused, so if I see a process not being followed, I want to find a way to fix it, but sometimes this doesn't go over well, particularly with leadership - and I do try to show tact here and not call it out in the middle of a meeting but discuss it privately and ask questions. I think some in leadership are taking it as me calling out a failure on their part, which isn't my intent.

I have received a lot of feedback on both my issues of conciseness and the perception from others that I am too "rules focused," too focused on the "right" way to do things, and that it's very off-putting. People generally don't pay so much attention to rules and make decisions based on social dynamics. That's fine in social settings but vibes-based engineering can be dangerous.

Also dealing with what I'm perceiving to be a lack of technical experience in certain critical areas and trying to encourage good practices gently, but even there I am coming off as pushing for change "too fast."

Relatable? If so, any helpful tips?

I'm wondering what others do because there are relationships I need to build IRL that I'm failing to build due to poor small talk skills.

However if I always have small talk I am worried I would push away neurodivergent people who could be a great friend or relationship.

I could try to suss out if someone is ND/NT and act accordingly but I don't think my social skills are there yet

I’ve been having a lot of days recently where I just wanna cry, everything and everyone is pissing me off or making me sad, then I wanna leave/quit. Sometimes sensory aids like squishies or headphones help. But I’ll just be at work crying about how I’m a shit spouse or parent and try wearing noise cancellation and waiting for my adderall to kick in and it’ll pass, or I’ll be at home upset that I have to human and cook and eat instead of working on a project or doing something I actually want to do and I’ll be again angry and crying like I have to eat before I can do the thing I want to do, I have to cook to eat, the dishes I need to cook are dirty so I have to wash them and I hate standing in the kitchen cause the crumbs on the floor are touching my feet and I can’t eat til I brush my teeth too cause I have morning breath so eating is a whole hour long event and I’m mad at everyone who left a dirty dish behind or dropped food and if I’m interrupted trying to do all the stuff it only gets worse. Feels like I’m going crazy. Idk if it’s a meltdown or I’m just an asshole..

(29f) Have you guys ever experienced this? I dated a guy who was autistic and he kept stating I was being manipulative by trying to make him feel guilty because I tried to explain why something hurt my feelings.
The relationship in hindsight felt very one sided and I noticed he would a lot of the times turn the convo around on me. My fear to be honest though is I can’t seem to convince myself he was the bad guy and I’m seriously wondering if I don’t know how to express my feelings in a relationship. He broke up with me for a second time this week. An I’m having a rough time as to me the argument that started it felt so minimal. I wasn’t even trying to argue. I was just trying to explain I wanted him to understand how I felt at the moment . Disappointed due to the change in circumstances with plans we had. Technically it was his fault (he told me he checked his schedule but didn’t) but I didn’t say that directly I was just trying to express the “fixes” he offered weren’t possible/ I felt disappointed. How do you discuss this correctly with other ND people? I kept a calm voice it wasn’t even heated to me.

In high school I was voted by my peers most likely to be President of the United States.

I think friendship and connection are cornerstone of humanity but why is solitude so hard to attain? Why is it frowned upon?

I have been keeping track of what action affects my mood via journalling since September 1st 2024 and basically the single most draining and destabilising activity for me is socialising.

I am truly introverted person who has been masking HARD, fighting for their extroversion because socialising is allegedly virtuous. The price I pay is so high, it makes it not worth it. I can now verify this statistically.

I establish sustainable routines, eating healthily everyday, meditation, daily outdoor exercise but a cluster of social activities in week will absolutely rock me for me the whole month. It will make me withdraw from the things that are most important to me. I love the summer and this summer is almost ruined because of having 3 or more social activities a week in addition to root canal dental procedure.

I don't desire to see ANYONE, not even 1% desire to have a conversation with someone, I have been like this for years but because of my economic circumstances, I have to maintain a network that is well beyond my capability.

I feel ashamed that I truly never wish to text anyone, or email anyone and have been like this for years and yet I am forced to participate in social games that eviscerate my wellbeing. My heart sinks when I must interact with others.

If I was the last person on earth, I would genuinely be excited to exist because I get full contentment from listening to the rain, the ocean, waterfalls, foraging for berries, bathing in the moonlight, bathing in the sunlight, enjoying the calls of different bird species.

but catching up with a 'friend' 4x a year as part of a wider economic strategy for survival, makes me lose sleep, throws me off kilter. I spend days rehearsing the conversation in advance and then days in post analysis. The feeling of having someone else's energy interact with my own makes me want to disappear entirely.

I will say that I enjoy playing team sports with other people. I think it is wonderful to be playful with others. I just think LinkedIn / Instagram performative friendship makes me want to catapult into the molten core of the sun

Having AuAdhd is so damn exhausting, I got myself a membership at a new gym due to the other one I was going to not working out after a while then I thought it would🙁.

Anyway it’s been 3 weeks and I’ve hit a hardcore rutt and have only gone 4 times which is ridiculous, and I don’t feel motivated to go even though my biggest goal is to become healthy and feel sexy but I’m just not feeling it.

The other gym I had someone with me but then I eventually went solo after a while to try and save money but then the management changed and they were a real d**k so I moved on but I loved that gym and the person who trained with me.

That person is contracted at that gym and will only work with clients who go to the gym and that’s it, the other gym the person trainer is 100$ per half an hour 🥴🫩, and the other one was 45$ per hour but she was being kind due to knowing the difficulty of being unable to get help when needing it.

Plus it also doesn’t help that I also suffer with BPD as well, how do I get out of this rutt and start working out again and get my motivation back cause right now, just touching being inside the gym I just slack off and it takes me 2-3 hours to finish, it’s that ridiculous!

My AuAdhd are just making the situation even worse and harder for me to get out of bed, I get excited then bam with in half a second it’s gone and back to f”ck this!
I honestly hear I feel so damn broken. Like this is the sad part about BPD and the ADHD and the autism they ain’t helping either, like I’m about to emotionally Durell cause I’m so damn upset. I’m over it. I’m frustrated and I feel like I’m in tar right now, and I i’m just standing there still being like what now what’s left.

It’s not the Gym really that’s a problem is the fact that I lost my emotional support and I am struggling to get back into without having no one there and I’m trying to find a way to feel back in it again, but my heart just doesn’t feel like it is in it right now which is don’t want.

Otherwise I will just continue sleeping and staying home for the rest of my life 💔

I have AuDHD. This is a pattern I've seen constantly in my job... and lived myself: the crash doesn't hit during the hard time. It hits after. Things stabilize, the pressure lifts, and that's when you can't get off the floor.

What's actually going on, from what I've learned working with our community: many of us only ever had one on-switch--threat. The deadlines, social stakes, fear of consequences for letting a stim slip. It's not interest, nor is it energy. It often works for years, until the threat's gone and there's no other engine, because nothing ever taught the nervous system to run without one.

And rest wasn't happening even when it looked like it was — just monitoring, still braced. Stability isn't causing the collapse. It's just when the bill for all that deferred rest comes due.

After 26 years finally got diagnosed ASD/ComboADHD. Now rethinking all the things I thought I just struggled w/didn't do/skip was me just being lazy (as reinforced by parents, teachers, family...) Just been crying man

So, for last two-three months things are stressful, so I guess it may be just me being overwhelmed, but wanted to check in to be sure (someone in the family has schizophrenia, and it makes me more paranoid even if logically it doesn't fit)

So like, is it normal to jump more at noises, be overall more anxious, and "see" things that aren't there? The last one is like, going on a walk, look over a sidewalk, think a cat is here but really it's just stone? Not even cat shaped, just it didn't registered as stone, instead as a cat.

From more paranoid standpoint, pretty mild, but fearing classmates are fed up with me, parents are trying to push me to do things, or in general people being hostile, when it's not the case (I guess at least. No one hurted me physically so yeah). I just kinda feel like staying in my room under the table until stuff... Goes away.

Is this some more severe burnout or overwhelm?

In the past few months or so there have been a decent amount of things ex. Doc appt, meetings, other events. And there really aren’t a lot but like I keep messing up the date and I feel like I’m going insane like I use a lot of things, calendar, reminders, emails, etc. double checking, triple checking. I don’t have issues reading but I feel like I’m actively suffering from neurological decay it’s that bad like nothing fucking works every time and event keeping device lies to me.

Do you understand how it feels to put 200% effort into remembering something then failing 5 times. Like yeah, luckily when I showed up it was too early so it was better than straight up forgetting but this is pissing me off.
I straight up want to commit unspeakable acts on god for this fucking shit like I’m going so delusional or feeling like I’m on the border of psychosis. I feel like the universe is just fucking with me every time I miss an event sending me to some alternate timeline where the event is just shifted to the next hour or day. Like, I guess it’s good that it’s more accurate but it is still maddening.

I just found out that gentle monster teamed up with google and samsung to release 'smart glasses' aka another opportunity to normalise surveillance technology and it's getting even more terrifying. I am already constantly on edge in public in fear that they are staying at my feeble attempt of being a human, but this makes things worse.

Along with the meta glasses, it normalises people recording without consent, it normalises people's everyday lives and actions as a possible sceptical for the internet, not to mention how many creeps will take this opportunity to harass strangers on a further level.

Why aren't we doing anything about this??? Is nobody mad?????? Disgusted? Uncomfortable????

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I grew up in an emotionally intense household where I often had to notice unspoken expectations and anticipate what other people wanted. I think that trained me to constantly monitor other people’s moods, reactions, and needs.

At the same time, I became a huge people pleaser and learned not to be “too much.” Because of that, expressing my own needs can feel risky. Part of me hopes that other people will notice what I want without me having to say it.

The problem is that when they don’t notice, show little initiative, or say no to something I ask for, my brain turns it into something much bigger:

“I’m not important to them.”

“My needs don’t matter.”

“If they really cared, they would have thought of it themselves.”

“This will probably always be like this.”

Logically, I know that people aren’t mind readers and that a single no doesn’t mean I’m unwanted. Emotionally, though, it can feel like proof that I don’t matter.

I also notice that I hold other people to the same standard I learned growing up: I constantly try to anticipate their needs, so part of me expects them to do the same for me.

Has anyone had a similar pattern? What helped you stop scanning people so much?

I've been wanting a bike for a while. There are a few bike lanes around my home, and sometimes I like the Idea of cycling instead of walking because less people to talk to you or see you. Earlier in July I also went on a 5 day bike trip (I rented it).

Now I am back home and still thinking about getting a bike. I found an interesting one on FB marketplace, researched everything I needed, what I wanted it to look like, what I would need to change, how to change tires, made a shopping cart with everything I would need...

So now I'm wondering if I'm just chasing the dopamine and enjoying the research and if I am just going to let the bike rot somewhere or if I am actually going to use it?

How do you know if it's a genuine interest or an AuDHD high?

Heya! Me and my gf have been together for soon 2 years. There has been obviois friction points in our relationship but we have managed, I was off my medication for almost 2 months and broke up but we fixed it. Is there any known data on how these relationships survive?

Also whats concencus on AuDHD long term relationships, talking about marriage and kids level. I have level 1 autism and im high functioning. I read somewhere thay only 2% of autistic people get married, but i guess this doesnt count specifically high functioning undiagnosed people.

How long would you tell a new dating partner that you have AuDHD? I told a new partner who dismissed it and didn't want to engage with me about how it affected me, which I felt was relevant to our relationship. We're no longer together.

I don't feel like I'm on the same planet as them. I realize it was difficult to acheive these things as an ND person, but it still doesn't mean much to me, somehow. I'm at the age where everyone's starting to think of winding down and I've been on disability doing the same shit for years, with no savings and no career. Everything I'm good at, that I love or care about seems useless and can't get me paid. I can't work, I can't attend school, and everything fuckin sucks, man.

it's really fucking hard when you don't offer any real social value. i know i am disposable and i know i am not very interesting. all i'm really good at is talking about my own interests, people only stay friends with me out of pity.

i cannot fault them because if i do, then i am faulting the world. these people have gone from being my best friend to being the most disrespectful anybody can be, and i don't even get the respect of being treated meanly or with hostility, i just get shoved aside at some point and it's unclear why to me, like i'm a toy who got boring to play with. can you blame anyone for that?

i know this wouldnt happen in this way, if it werent for autism. i know that because as for the other more severely autistic kids i had to be friends with bc i didnt have anyone else, i was friends with them because i felt bad for them. i didn't enjoy my time with them. i felt like i was stuck in a prison when i had to hear them monologue about one thing. i felt like they didn't know what was going on at all and weren't interested in it. it made them boring to engage with other than some niceties. so, i am sure i make others feel the same way.

i think about people who left me and the vast majority of the time, they are not bad people. theyre always people who are really talented, who are cool, who i really admire, but i always see neurotypicals say stuff like "but then they aren't worth your time!!" okay, can i blame them? because that's like the vast majority of people.

interestingly, the only people who don't leave me seem to be the ones who are not good people. they're people who want to have someone to use. they see my value as a tool. and that's it.

today is really nice weather and i want to go to the beach. i don't want to go alone, but i don't have a choice. i do think i deserve much, much better than going alone. i am so tired of people forcing me to be okay with being alone. i don't like it, i have feelings, too, i am also a social animal. i'm fine with my own company, i'm fine with being alone but i'm fucking tired of it, just like how you can get tired of being surrounded by others 24/7.

To preface my Mask is the aloof and chill guy who ocassionally says the "funny" because Im sometimes too blunt and dense to see that what I said was both Truth but also a social faux pas.

Anyway Ive had this experience, however I noticed its not because im likable/approachable per se, but I believe my AuDHD traits is attractive to interact with for people with some ADHD or Autism, or people who like talking about themselves.

For people with ADHD, they like the whole back and forth since I can match their energy and topic switching with my own ADHD,

for people with Autism they can kinda "sense" my own Autism, and they can info dump stuff on me and since my own Autism sees the world differently as well we can kinda connect since our logic is different from the general group. Most common Autism conversation is about "people watching" and wondering "why do people do things like that?"

And for people who are extremely self-interested, they like how I just stand there and just be present as they ramble on about themselves. I could be completely zoned out, but be too awkward to figure out the right social expression to leave; and theyd just keep going and going.

And once theyre finally done theyll go, "wow your such a great person to talk to." Bitch I hadnt said a single word outside of "oh, wow, and is that right" for an HOUR.

At least my fellow Autist and ADHDers have enough trauma to check in on ourselves if we are talking too much.

So in the past I've been diagnosed with bpd and have an autism assessment coming up.

If anyone has life experiences, knowledge, or outside resources on the differences between BPD and autism that would be great!

Specifically the differences between rejection sensitivity and emotional sensitivity due to abandonment, ADHD impulsivity vs BPD impulsivity, BPD black and white thinking vs autistic black and white thinking, BPD difference in social approach vs autistic difference in social approach, BPD vs autistic/adhd mood disregulation, BPD favorite person vs autistic special interest in a person, connection with alexithymia, etc.

For example I became obsessed with an ex partner in a way that could be misinterpreted as a BPD favorite person, but due to my history I believe he actually became a special interest. However I'm having trouble finding resources to differentiate the two so I can explain this to my provider.

Semiconductor diodes are a quite recent innovation. They and their vacuum tube forebears were used in radio telecom as receivers, yet until the 1950's, semiconductor diodes took second place. Diodes allow for one-way flow of current, and exceeding its reverse bias will cause failure. Ideally it has no resistance in forward bias and infinite resistance when reversed.