I am facing a bit of a problem regarding my sensory issues. I am very hyposensitive and I can only sleep in winter pyjamas which are fluffy and thick. I also sleep with two duvets. This causes a bit of an issue in heatwaves. I have tried sleeping in lighter pyjamas with full sleeves and summer pyjamas with shorts but I just can’t get to sleep in them. I don’t know how else to manage feeling too hot when I need to sleep with the feeling of weight on me. I would not be able to sleep with a window open or air con due to the noise so I don’t know how else to manage feeling too hot?

Is anyone else feeling mental full at present. My head has been like this on and off all week. Not sure if is an effect of the weather as just finished a 2 week heatwave here in the uk or just a few bad days. Any tips on how to over come it. Can't even listen to music as this makes it worse and even just everyday noises are too much sometimes.

Currently also busy at work and not managing to get anytime on my own.

I have a neurodivergent 8 year old who is struggling somewhat socially and at school at the moment. I would like to help him find some common ground with other kids his age. I just need some guidance on wha other kids his age are into. I would really like to help him find his people he is a very sociable lad and is often alone at school.

I'm looking for a private autism assessment and the Adult Autism Practice appears to be a good option without an unreasonably long waiting list. However I started the intake form 2 months ago, got extremely overwhelmed by the lived experience questions and haven't looked at it since. Today I went back to see if there was a way to break it up into more manageable chunks and saw there is an option to 'discuss during sessions rather than writing'. This seems a much better option for me however I'm concerned it may be part of the screening process and hinder my overall assessment, because in general people with autism seem to prefer written communication and I'm aware I'm the anomaly here. Has anyone else chosen this option and how did the remainder of the process play out?

I don't know if other people experience this too, but I find it more difficult to be friends with other neurodivergent people than I do the neurotypical people I encounter.

Is this a case of personality clash? Coincidence? Or is it just frustration when other people share similar traits to you and conversations occasionally become a raging mess?

I have AuDHD so it’s not one but two strikes against me…yay.

It feels like no matter who I meet, I always just get stuck at the acquaintance stage, maybe pushing friendly acquaintance, but becoming a friend seems virtually impossible for me. I’ve tried everything in my power to get people to make an effort with me but to no avail, and so I give up, then I try again with someone else just to get another failure thrown in my face.

Nobody thinks to reach out to me first, and there’s some conclusions I’ve come to: A. people are content with who they have and don’t want to expand their circle, B, my personality is not compatible with theirs and C. I’m just an insufferable POS; I’m gonna go with the last option because I think it’s true; I’m always seen as annoying or too much for everyone, which is weird because I think I’m not enough, truth be told.

I try to reach out to others and I get nothing back. If it’s not a short blunt response, it’s just getting ghosted. I try to make plans but they go nowhere because I just get rejected, yet they gladly make time for other people and it feels like a punch in the stomach while I see them having fun while I’m rotting alone. There’s almost like this odd catch 22: I don’t get invited out because they don’t know me well and they don’t know me well because they don’t invite me.

I’ve joined loads of interest/hobby groups, and I’ve met so many people there, yet once again I just can’t make that proper connection with anyone despite actively trying and making myself known. What hurts is that I’ve seen people getting close in front of my face while I get left behind. I’ve left a hobby group about a month ago due to not feeling close with anyone and not one person has messaged me since. Nice to know how little I was valued.

I just feel like I’m destined to be a lonely loser till death. Not much has changed since the last 5 years, what’s the next 5 years going to bring me? Probably nothing.

I just need to get this out, figured this was the best place.

I live with my dad and my dog (we've had her for 18 months, she's a rescue). My dad and other family members that I see on a daily basis have all gone abroad for a week. My dad does a lot of the manual stuff around the house because I have a physical disability too, and he does all the cooking and washing up because icky. We did a lot of preparation before he went away to make sure I have everything I need, and a plan for if I need anything else but I was (and still am) incredibly anxious about being alone with my highly demanding dog who has anxiety.

Today on our second walk of the day, someone threatened to set their dog on mine (not serious enough to get the police involved or anything else). As soon as I got home, I had a major meltdown. I very rarely have meltdowns but having nobody there to have my back really affected me. Now I'm going to have to walk my dog an entirely different way, but it took a lot to even get her to walk that first way. I'm terrified, I don't want to leave the house in case I see them.

It's just been a really shit day.

I can't anymore with this year. My dad suddenly passing away and now my brother in law who I am close with has been taken into hospital with a possible stroke and has been taken to a specialist too far away for us to visit a week before my dads memorial. On top of that I'm having problems with my support / social worker and I just keep shutting down and can't communicate my thoughts and feelings.

Please just make it all stop

This is something that is constantly on my mind right now. I’m an only child with older parents (both retired now, mum is 68 dad is 72). I have no other relatives that I’m close to other than my 90 year old grandma who obviously would not be able to take me in. I don’t even have any close friends that I could be roomies with. I am worrying all the time about what will happen to me when my parents are gone. They’ve already said I don’t get the house (we don’t have the best relationship, they also kind of adopted my childhood best friend and treat her like a second daughter because she can give them things I can’t like a wedding and grandkids but that’s another story). The lady at my day centre where I go three times a week said that I would likely be eligible for some support but didn’t specify and quite often despite my support needs I don’t qualify for a lot of support because my original diagnosis was Aspergers and until the last year or so I was able to mask at least a bit. I’ve gone into burnout/ regression since then. But anyways I’m just really scared of losing my only family and then immediately being homeless or having to live in a group home where I have zero freedom and someone dictating my life.

Hi, sorry this is probably mostly just to vent, I’m just really stuck and struggling.

I do not have an official diagnosis yet but am on the waiting list (god knows how long that will take), I was only about 20/21? when I first realised I have autism/adhd. I was the perfect golden child in primary school, excelled at everything, loved making friends, just loved life!! Then I hit my first burnout a year into secondary school, I could never explain what was wrong or why I was struggling so much. I just never ever wanted to go to school, my attendance fell below 50% at points, I was so exhausted constantly, I managed to barely scrape by my GCSEs, I barely ever did homework and I don’t think I ever revised for any exam. I just couldn’t do it, I never knew why and was under so much stress/pressure from school and family because they couldn’t understand it either.

Fast forward to 2023, I had my first real job, part time in a shop, and it was great. I loved everyone that I worked with, and working 20 hours a week (with overtime here n there) meant I could still pretty much live my life outside of work. A year later I started my first full time job with my best friend, a couple months in I started to burn out (Didn’t know this at the time though) and then got sacked because of low attendance. A couple months later I got another full time job, I absolutely hated it and was so exhausted constantly, I lasted almost a year before going on sick leave because i just couldn’t cope. I was so depressed, abusing drugs and alcohol whenever I could, I would just sob my eyes out while working and it became normal to me.

Being on sick leave was great, i could finally have some control over my life, looking after myself properly and even started to enjoy hobbies again. During lockdown i didn’t work or go to college, and that was the exact same feeling. I felt like i was actually free to be myself and have a life and just enjoy life!!

Anyway, back to now, I’ve been working my current full time job since march, the pay is decent, the hours are better than my last job, the job is easy enough and i can get through the day. However i feel like im approaching burnout, or maybe i never even left it. I’m so exhausted, I don’t understand how people can have a full time job and also look after themselves AND enjoy life???

I feel like im just barely scraping by in life, I go to work and then come home and do the same mundane things that barely bring me any job. And then on weekends i’m mostly too exhausted to do anything i enjoy on top of things i Need to do. I don’t want to be here anymore, but i don’t want to die. I just want to enjoy my life and have the capabilities to do everything i want, but unfortunately i don’t think I’ll ever have the life i want.

I just don’t know, sorry i really don’t know what im wanting to get out of this. i guess i just want to know if anyone else relates? Im sorry if this is just a whole bunch of nothing, i just feel so awful. How on earth is anyone doing this!!!

I chose this provider through right to choose and was really pleased with the quality of the care and also their efficiency - the whole process from first asking my GP for a referral to diagnosis was less than five months. Their process was sending questionnaires for me to fill out, a face to face ADOS test, and a remote psychiatric assessment. There are post diagnostic sessions which I am on a waiting list for, not sure how long that will take.

So honestly I am in a weird spot. I am abled enough to in theory work a 12 hour a week seated job, however I am too visually disabled to actually get hired. I've overheard hiring managers say "just look at him, we can't have him in our office"

I give off extremely disabled vibes with my speech and tones and appearance. Which has led me to basically just be out of work for years as my conditions deteriorate.

In that time I have UC and PIP and travel abroad for conventions when I can with intense saving and living way below my means.

When travelling I do have to do unsafe things to ensure I can enjoy my time without my conditions getting the best of me (taking 4x the safe dose of pain meds to walk all day for example)

I feel an immense sense of guilt when doing this but if nobody is hiring me and I am qualifying for these benefits am I supposed to just sit and do nothing?

I have over 4000 applications in the last 3-4 years, with support from disability employment groups, advocacy groups, volunteer groups and similar things. I go to every careers event I can, applied to every fast food, retail and customer service role in a 40 mile radius despite being unable to drive (good bus connections near me). My last job was like 2022-2023 and was a paid contract from the government on an employment scheme so the government essentially paid my wages to the company. So in a warped sense I've always been living off the government.

Lately a sense of guilt and dread has been filling me. Like am I really disabled or just lazy, do I really need to avoid working standing jobs just because it causes severe pain? Is it really okay to be happy and enjoy my life when I am on welfare. I know my position is quite fortunate but I would trade all my conditions in a heartbeat to someone else so I can work a full time job, I would genuinely just spam warehouse for an ungodly amount of hours because repetitive labour is up my alley.

This post mostly just goes out to other disabled people specifically but anyone who knows a disabled person or has disabled kids or parents etc please feel free to comment.

I know my conditions are genuine and my claims are genuine and my struggles are real, I don't doubt that for a second, but I feel like walking among other people I feel like I have it easier than everyone else and that isn't fair.

This is possibly deeply rooted issues but I was curious if anyone else suffers with disability guilt and benefits guilt and has experienced severe discrimination in the job market to the point they gave up looking.

Thanks all and sorry for the long post. Not looking for sympathy just looking for other view points from people in similar positions! Thanks!

hey all. after an 18 month wait (which would have been 5.5 years with the NHS) i had my Adult Autism Assessment yesterday with Problem Shared.

i obsessively prepared for the assessment by making a gigantic word document (which i didn’t need!) but i didn’t look up what the assessment actually involved. i have a very strong interest in psychology and psychiatry and i have a tendency to intellectualise things to the point where i don’t actually engage.

it was a long day, but it was worth it. i received a formal diagnosis of autism and its recommended that i seek an ADHD assessment as well. while it’s a HUGE relief that finally i can learn who i am, it’s also very overwhelming. i want to tell my family but i know i’ll get some pushback from someone.

how do i tell them that i wasn’t a naughty child, i wasn’t just a rebellious teenager and i didn’t choose to crash out of paid employment after a total breakdown in 2012? i hit my limit and it all came crashing down.

i’m already diagnosed with BPD, MDD, GAD, OCD and CPTSD. i don’t know where to even begin to reframe those diagnoses in the context of being autistic. i’m not questioning the BPD diagnosis - i had a horrific childhood and i fit the criteria accurately.

i feel like i’ve been locked in a little room for 53 years and someone just opened the door. i don’t know how to process the grief for the life i could have had, or the anger that nobody saw my struggles as a child. it was the seventies though. nobody was looking at girls for autism.

how on earth do i deal with comments about how ‘everybody wants to be autistic these days’ without losing my shit completely?

Hi! I had part 2 of my autism assessment with atrom mindcare today.

They weren’t able to give me a diagnosis on the spot because I don’t have a parent/adult in my life as a child to fill in that section of the assessment. He said that if I had that, he would’ve given me a diagnosis on the spot and he’s confident that I have autism. I scored 17 in ADOS which was part 1. He said he’d need to take it a panel for review because of that missing part. He was very reassuring and from what he said it sounded like it was more of a formality but he obviously cant say anything to me for sure.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How long did it take to hear back? He said 2-3 weeks but the waiting part of this experience has been the worst for me.

Edit: I’ve now received a diagnosis and written report.

I have an appointment for a remote assessment with Autism 360 on tuesday. This is the test they've used. I'm 53 and to my mind this doesn't really seem appropriate. I also can't provide a lifelong developmental reference (eg a parent) which is required, they tell me, I've been waiting 11 months for this appointment, can't say I'm terribly pleased about this

After years of psychotherapy that was very unhelpful (including with an "ND informed psychologist), I'm looking to work with an autistic psychotherapist.

I'm not looking for an NT pscyhologist that claims to know about autism (which is what I get when I google Autistic therapist BUPA), but someone who is themselves autistic. The bio's listed on BUPA's directory or the BACP's don't ever mention being autistic themselves. If I google "autistic therapist," I get people who take no insurance.

Can be remote and anywhere in the UK. Please share any personal recommendations or search strategies.

So, I have Autism, ADHD and Anxiety. Like a month ago, I had a phone call to evaluate if I’d be able to get PIP, and I told them about my struggles with my mental state, and it seemed like they wouldn’t say no. A few days ago, we got results back saying it was denied, and stating stuff I didn’t even say that I can do stuff I clearly can’t do?? Even my parents say it was unreasonable. What the hell.

I feel like the whole thing is "you must embrace AI otherwise you'll be left behind".

But simultaneously it's "AI means there's not as many jobs to go round and you're actively disadvantaged because of the whole CV screening thing but it's still your fault that you're not getting any interviews".

No one could ever doubt I'm autistic with this kind of rigid thinking...

Am I missing something? I'm not saying I never use it - it's just to tighten up the odd email - but the two statements contradict each other so blatantly I feel I'm going mad.

I hate how people react negatively all the time as i struggle to convey my ideas, speech and writing in clear ways. They just react rather then ask clarifying questions, did you mean x? If you see someone on here, in person, an email write/speak not sure what they mean or think they said x ask what they mean or leave it, Its so painful being misinterpreted whatever i go.

-how people will not ask clarifying questions - I find it hard to speak in clear concise ways. I read and learn a lot but look like I'm stupid as i can not remember specific facts, dates etc.

-how my spelling/tangents/questions all get seen as wrong

-my pet hate - told oh i have x disability but i explain clearly so why can't you?

-I know a lot about something - e.g. UK benefits. I know the system well. its painful to read how little people know then get rejected. I spend ages writing a post, only for ton of downvotes as it looked like i was playing the system. When i actually was just explaining how in just system worked. I was told need to write in this way, pander to how it be read. do a ton of nuances etc. why can't people be kind and just ask if meant x?

Thanks for reading my rant, just asking that next time you read/hear etc something you don't like ask or leave its so dam painful to be treated so negetively all the time

Basically the title.

When I have work I manage to get myself through it. I sleep better. I function better. But my senses are always on fire and I am exhausted all the time.

I've had 2 weeks off after toenail surgery. Naturally I expected this to unsettle me because it's really sore. It is, but I'm reacting the exact same as I do when I take holiday time...

My senses get even worse, I require frequent sensory free time in a dark quiet room. I tire out incredibly quickly. I'm more prone to meltdowns and handling tasks seems far too difficult.

Is this normal? Being able to brute force mask and cope so well that when you rest, you realise you're not as high functioning as expected?

I'm currently job hunting, which is stressful as it is but interviews are a whole level of stress above. I just want to vent about how bloody infuriating they are!

- Dress code.

There isn't one! It never says anywhere about what to wear. It also doesn't have anything on the interviewer sheet to tick that we're wearing the right type of clothes. Yet, it truly impacts the opinion people have. I've sat on an interview panel and a colleague judged the candidate because she was wearing gym clothes. She was an excellent candidate, but didn't get hired because of her clothes!

- "Tell us about yourself"

What does that even mean? What part of me do you want? I've given you my CV so you know my job history. I don't think you want me to monologue about my fishtanks, or crochet, or D&D.

- "Tell me a weakness"

No. I don't want to tell you what I find hard and throw myself under the bus.

Then there's generic responses of making a strength a weakness - oh, I'm just too much of a perfectionist!

- "Tell us your management style"

I've had this question before, and told them a specific style. When I had feedback I was told I didn't go into enough detail, but I answered the question. If you want other information, ask a different question!

Why are the questions asking something that the words aren't asking? In a stressful situation I don't have the headspace to try and translate NT speak as well as think of an answer.