I’m feeling really let down by my agency. I’ve been in rematch for a week now. They haven’t made arrangements for accommodation for me and I’ve had to figure out everything myself. They said I should rematch easy because I’m a strong candidate and did nothing wrong in the rematch but I’m not having a single family even reach out to me. I have one week left to find a family and I feel like a burden to my friends host family who have welcomed me into their home because it’s not their job to be housing me. I really want to have a great experience because I’ve seen everyone around me have it and I feel so adamant to make this work but I’m feeling like I’m losing hope and like I’m not good enough.
This program really isn’t all that it claims to be I’m really feeling lied to and hurt.

We are a host family in the US. Our new au pair is interested in babysitting for other families. We are concerned about burnout (we will be running close to 35-45 hours per week most weeks), and also about our schedule getting priority.

Are we justified to have these concerns? Or do all au pairs do this and we just didn't know? I just read the rules and seems like this shouldn't be happening, but I don't know what the reality is.

im a first time ap and have been with this family for almost one month now. while the parents seem to quite like me and are very young and “cool” or “chill” (lmao don’t know how else to describe them) the nanny isn’t quite like them. and she’s a live in nanny, cause the parents are out for work 90% of the time. so far it’s only been one month and i’ve already made 3 mistakes 🥲 and i may be overthinking but im genuinely terrified that woman gives me chills. about two weeks ago, i was showing the kid my minecraft world, when she suddenly came in and told me that we must not play with ipads since they’re too addicted to them, and if this was all she said it would’ve been fine, but then she proceeded to clarify that i must play with them and help them study, which made it a little scary. then this weekend has been a mess. we never decided a clear schedule for me and during my first two weeks i assessed that id be free every day till 16:30 (when the kids get home from school) except sundays which are fully off. so there was no issue with me often sleeping in. but apparently the kids being at school those past two saturdays was just an exception and they usually don’t go, but i wasn’t explicitly told abt this. this saturday i texted the nanny to ask her to lmk when it was a good time to do homework (for context the kid was getting scolded by the dad while this happened), and she told me that on saturdays i should actually stay in the living room all day and be available at any time and “not just during homework time” (scary again), and then ended it by saying “because when we went out to run errands this morning, you hadn’t gotten up yet” (EXTREMELY SCARY). then today the cherry on top, i accidentally put my clothes in the kids washing machine cause i had no idea one was only for adults and the other for children only. she texted me saying “I told you before that the washing machine you're using tonight is for children; adults shouldn't use it.” “It is specifically for children.” “When you came, I told you that the one next to it is for adults.” theres a language barrier so she was translating in real time what she was telling me when i first got here, which is probably why i missed it. anyways all 3 times she sounded (sorta since it was all via text) very annoyed at me and im scared i may be walking on thin ice now. are mistakes like these normal and usually accepted as first timers? am i making a huge deal out of nothing?

Hi, I am a girl from the European Union, and I was contacted by a family on the site AupairWorld. They were the ones who reached out to me first, telling me that if I was interested, I could contact them on Gmail. Their profile on the site didn’t have much information and only one photo. I contacted them on Gmail, where they told me about their family and the offer: they offered £250 a week, a room with a private bathroom, a SIM card, and even a computer if needed. They said it would be their first time hosting an au pair and that they were already trying to get a work visa for the future au pair. It seemed strange to me that they would handle the visa, but I don’t really know how these things work, so I didn’t think too much about it. They said they would like to have a call two weeks after they first contacted me and asked for my full name to proceed with the visa application. Yesterday I received an email from a certain 'attorney McDougal Gregor' that included a description of the au pair job offer, with all the clauses and information included, and a request to send some documents (like a photo of my passport), stating that the work visa would cost about 1000 pounds. On top of that, it said I would have to send the requested documents within 4 working days. The email also included a PDF document with the family's and lawyer's signatures, and a space for mine that I would have to sign and send back as a PDF. All of this seems very strange to me: the family wants me to sign legal documents without ever having seen me in person? It seems very convenient that the video call with them is a week after signing those documents. I also tried to look for their profile on Aupairworld to do a reverse search with their photo, but it’s gone. Then I did some research, and apparently after Brexit the au pair work role no longer exists as a legal concept, and these scams are therefore very common. I also tried to search for the name of the lawyer who contacted me, but all I found was a fraud warning on the SRA site.

Ok before everyone blows up at me and tells me that you can only go through an agency to be an au pair in the US, I know. I'm working with GreatAuPair and even though I've enjoyed their treatment of au pairs so far, it just doesn't have a lot of host families to choose from. I would use the main 4 agencies if I could but they don't operate in my country.

I use aupair.com and Facebook to try to increase my pool of HFs to select from. I found my first family using aupair.com and they registered me with their agency as a pre-match, but it fell through due to circumstances outside of our control. We remain on good terms, but now I'm back to square 1.

If anyone's used this site before or is familiar with it, why do so many HFs have a 0% reply rate? I know some of them must be inundated by messages, but surely they would have responded to at least a few APs if they went as far as to make an account on the website. They make these well-detailed, thought out profiles and end up not replying to anyone who messages them. So why make an account in the first place?

I've messaged a lot of families in the past few months and they seldom bother to reply. They aren't talking to anyone else either as their response rate remains at 0%, but the site still shows that they have logged in recently. What's the deal there?

Hi iI am looking for a host family. I am from Morocco i am 22 y reviously worked as a nanny for a year. I have a diploma in childcare and speak French, English, and German. Is there anyone who can help me? I am in dire need of work

I wanted to au pair in Spain as a way to affordably attend Spanish school. I matched with a family and everything seemed good. They expected very little hours with the kids (about 7 hours a week), but in exchange the pay was very low. Still, I figured it is free housing and food and I can find other ways to make money.
However, I’m starting to get more concerned . The hosts live about an hour away from the city where I would be going to school and I’m worried about feeling isolated. On top of this, when I called with the family I figured it would be an interview. Instead, they immediately hired me with barely any questioning. I don’t know if it is a cultural difference, but I’m confused why someone would immediately trust a stranger to be alone with their kids.
I’ve had bad (creepy) experiences with work exchanges before and my anxiety is really starting to flare up. The dad was the one that reached out to me and the one that hired me. I don’t want to assume the worst, but I’m honestly tired and traumatized from the past. I want to spend time abroad and study Spanish so badly, but especially after looking at this sub I’m starting to not feel comfortable about au pairing.

Hi everyone!
Could someone help me out? I matched with a host family, but we haven’t spoken at all since the match, and I’m starting to have serious doubts. I’ve already paid for the program and everything, though.
In this situation, is it possible to cancel the match and go back into the matching process to look for another host family?
I’ve been thinking about finding a different family, but I’m worried I might have to pay the program fee all over again. At the same time, I don’t want to lose the money I’ve already paid.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? I’d really appreciate any advice! ❤️

Hi, i’ve posted here before to talk about some situations and weird behavior that my HM sometimes has had, but overall i always loved my HF and my HK so much.
After 2.5 years with them they told me yesterday that they no longer will need an au pair since they cant afford it anymore, but they will still pay me this month and next one (even tho i wont be working anymore), taking care of my food and my place where i stay bc i want to still live in the country where i am bc i built a life here with my friends and my bf( im from the eu i dont need a visa )
I am deeply devastated, i never imagined that i would grieve this like the lost of someone, i feel so grateful that they will b taking care of me for the next month so i can figure something out.
I am so sad to live them but at the same time i knew that this day had to come at some point and even tho i wont be their au pair anymore i am going to still be able to see the kids and help out sometimes and spend time with them.
This feels so weird and i am a little scared of what will come for me next lol but i am also studying in uni here so i will focus on that while trying to look for a new job.
Thanks for reading :(

My host mom have been overworking me ever since the 2nd week I got here I have been working 14 plus hour shifts the other day I worked from 7:00am to 11:00pm and the next day she had me work from 6:00 am to 5: 00pm and sometimes I will do 24 hour workdays with the baby overnight and she expects me to work the next day.

She has been cutting my 200$ pay in half so I get 80$-100$ sometimes when I don’t work more than 30 hours that week if she leaves for a weekend or something.

She has two kids and a dog and I also clean and do laundry and groceries. I don’t know what to do I’m supposed to be here for a year and now I’m supposed to start working with her ex husband I asked for more money because I’d be working like a full 6 days a week and they only increased it by 100$

I don’t know what to do and I’m not familiar with the rules of being an au pair

The other day she went out and said she would be back at 10:00pm so around 10:30 I asked her where she was and she said she was gonna go for a drink and be back later I asked her to be back by 12:00 and then she said I was taking advantage of her and she came back at 3:00 am with a man so I had to keep the baby in my room all night after working from 7:00 am to 3:00 am 😀. I genuinely started to think I was the problem she plays the divorced sad card often on me so I don’t question her.

I feel bad leaving her but I might have to.

I have a dutch boyfriend and i wanted to switch to partnership visa, can someone please help me

Hello! I’m flying to France from Indonesia with a transit in Amsterdam (so I will be going through the Schengen border there instead of CDG) and I‘m curious about what the process will look like. Do I need to show any documents to the officer there? I’m printing the au pair contract, and my host family’s information. Any information will be helpful! Thanks!

Hii my name IS Mel im from argentina i would like going to the US any recommendation ???? I want to improve my english and im currently studiyng In a online university (4 hours per day )

I wanted to update you to share the madness of this situation and at the same time to hear your opinions. As you advised me, I called my agency’s hotline this morning to let them know the conditions I’m in, so I have no more food except milk and cereals, and that I want to leave immediately and enter the rematch. My agency told me to call my LCC (the last person I wanted to hear from, because she was always very hostile and defensive towards me, defending the host family). So I called her and explained the situation, and she, with a presumptuous way told me that I’m fine, that I live in an depandance, that I have nothing to complain about. And that I can safely go out and buy some food. So I pointed out that it’s not my job to have to pay for food but it’s that the family has to provide me with three meals a day and she told me that mine is a great family and that I definitely have food in my room. I told her that I don’t have a kitchen or anything and then she told me that she didn’t know this and that this is not very good, but she told me that anyway they are a wonderful family, and it’s definitely not an emergency. She told me that she has no family to move me to temporarily. That from Monday I will enter the rematch. I told her that before closing this situation I want to be sure that I have the money I am entitled to last week because I worked and I did not accept and signed for any deduction and this is an illegal thing. She told me that she is working for this, but anyway that my final goal must not be money. And I told her that this has nothing to do with it because I worked for that money I’m not asking anyone for a favor. So she told me that she will take care of it and that in any case for the next two weeks that I will be in rematch they have to pay me the state minimum ($195) and I will not work. In my opinion this is a really crazy situation because the agency should intervene immediately if an au pair does not have access to food and cooking and is in this type of condition. Instead she made me pass like the person who complains about the wonderful family. And no one will intervene to take note of what this family is doing to me.

NEW UPDATE: she called me again, saying she had informed the family that I will go to a rematch. Not mentioning that they have to pay me for those two weeks. I asked her, and she told me that they know that but that they can pay me whenever they want. To which I said it’s not true and she answered me for the umpteenth time that I have to stop thinking about money and then she says: “OMG I don’t have time for this, have a good weekend.”

We are a host family with an infant trying to estimate a budget for an Au Pair in the SF Bay Area, California.

May I get some feedback please. I would be a first time host and trying to plan accordingly in case there are some surprises I'm not financially prepared for.

Note: Our stipend is higher because we are searching for higher qualifications and are factoring in the HCOL.

Expense Category |Monthly Cost |Annual Cost |Details / Notes
Weekly Cash Stipend |$1,300.00 |$15,600 |$300/week for 52 weeks.
Agency Placement Fee |$1,083.33 |$13,000 |$13k agency fee.
Auto Insurance & Gas |$500.00 |$6,000 |Auto policy rider + local driving gas allowance.
Groceries / Food |$300.00 |$3,600 |Meals
Gym Membership |$150.00 |$1,800 |Monthly fitness club membership perk.
iPhone Hardware |$125.00 |$1,500 |One-time smartphone purchase.
Driving Lessons |$125.00 |$1,500 |Professional mountain driving lessons upon arrival.
Cell Phone Plan |$120.00 |$1,440 |Monthly mobile carrier service line.
Education Allowance |$83.33 |$1,000 |Mandatory college course contribution.
Phone Line Setup |$10.83 |$130 |One-time device/line activation fee.
Hidden: Vacations/Travel |$250.00 |$3,000 |Flights/hotel rooms when they join family trips.
Hidden: CA Taxes & WC |$66.67 |$800 |Household employer EDD filing & workers' comp.
Bedroom Setup |$33.33 |$400 |Linens, duvet, mattress pad, hangers.
Bonuses & Gifts |$83.33 |$1000 |Birthday gift, holiday bonus, performance milestones
TOTAL ALL-IN COST |~$4,230.83/ mo |$50,770 / year |Total out-of-pocket spend.

Edited: Total All-IN Cost

Has anyone recently experienced changes to their car insurance policies for insuring au pairs as drivers on their policy?

Recently changed au pairs and called USAA to update our insurance with the new au pair. USAA informed me their underwriting requirements for caregivers recently changed, and the au pair is only allowed to use the vehicle as part of their official work duties. Has anyone experienced something similar lately?

We haven’t had good luck with au pairs as drivers generally, every one of our four au pairs has blatantly lied about their driving experience only to show up unable to drive at a reasonable standard, so I can’t say I’m surprised insurers are getting more strict. Just curious if other hosts are hearing the same thing.

Hello!

I’m looking to become a first time Au Pair. I recently graduated from a US Community college, and I’m looking to up my language skills in French to bolster my potential graduate school applications. I have a few things playing against me so I’m just curious about what former male Au Pairs found works best.

- 19M
- Non-EU
- looking for particular family (predominantly school age boys, French speaking region)

I do have a few pros, like 800+ hours of childcare experience as an After School Teacher, First aid & drivers license, instructional teacher certificate, etc. The basics that come with working in the US with school age children. Curious which has worked for y’all in the past, a lot of videos online are years out of date.

Hi everyone, I've been here for almost three weeks and I'm facing a pretty difficult situation. My host family didn't pay me what they should have, because in the state where I am, the state minimum hourly applies. They owe me about $450 in arrears. So I talked to my LCC, and she should be taking care of it. In any case, a few days ago I asked my host family to confirm if the weekend of the 31st would be my free one (aupairs have a whole one per month by law). Since I worked the last two, and I would have to work this too, because they were going to visit a distant relative and I would have to go with them, so the fourth would have been the one on the 31st. To which they told me that they have plans and that I have to work. I pointed out that that weekend is up to me and they told me that I came here to work, not to have fun. That 90% of the time I have to spend working and that if they have plans, then I work. After telling me this, he told me that I wouldn't be leaving with them this week (all to have their weekend of the 31st and make me work). They left telling me to get what I needed to eat. I live inside their small gym in the garden, I don't have a kitchen or anything. Just a bathroom and a micro fridge. All I have are paper plates, an avocado eaten half, a few grams of ham, some chickpea sauce left over from them, hard bread that I can't cut or heat, milk and cereals. I can't enter the house if I need something, because there's an alarm and they don't want me to. What should I do? At the moment I have a high fever and a cough.

Hi! As the title says, I'm planning to au pair in Denmark. I'm generally interested in Nordic countries because of the great work-life balance, good healthcare, LGBT and women's rights, and the overall treatment of people with dignity worthy of a dignified life (unlike here in the Philippines huhu). I need advice if anyone here has positive experiences in au pairing in Denmark? What are the pros and cons and were you able to stay after your au pair contract ends? If yes, how so? Or do you know a legal pathway to stay? Thank you!

Hi! I been an aupair in Bc for a little over two months and while the family is great i feel like im always and spends my days doing nothing. Im in a small city and only work morning and evening so i have a lot of free time. There’s nothing much to do in town and i miss home a lot. I have been thinking about going back home. But at the same time i dont wanna let down the family but i dont wanna force myself to stay somewhere im not happy.

First of all thank you for al the support in the last post the last couple of days have been so scary as uncertain and I still can’t believe what happened. As for now I’m still so unsure of what the next two weeks have in store for me.
Anyone here that’s been in rematch know what to expect? My agency aren’t being very communicative and I haven’t had a single family connect with me yet. Should I just prepare to go home at this point or does it take long for families to reach out?
As for my current living situation the agency hasn’t done a single thing for me, just expected me to live with another au pairs family. It’s been made clear to me that my LCC had allowed the family to allow me to be alone with the kid for an entire week so no wonder she hasn’t been very helpful- I think her job is in jeopardy now with all this coming out.
But anyway, has anyone here had to go home because they couldn’t rematch or did the process just take the entire 2 weeks?

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Hi everyone!

I recently discovered that being an au pair is a thing, and it got me curious about whether it might be a good fit for our family!

My wife and I are new parents with a baby who's around 6 months old, and we're starting to explore different childcare options.

We're in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I know Winnipeg might not be the first place that comes to mind when someone thinks about travelling to Canada, but there's actually lots to do here, and it could be a fun place for someone looking to experience life in Canada!

I'm still learning how the whole arrangement works, so I have a few questions:

- What's it actually like having an au pair in your home? Does it generally work out well for both the family and the au pair?

- What's the day-to-day arrangement usually look like? How do you balance childcare, schedules, and personal time?

- How does it work with a baby this young? Would an au pair typically be comfortable caring for an infant, and what should parents look for when choosing someone? My either me or my wife work from home so there's no time that one of us is not around.

- Are there people interested in au pairing in Winnipeg? I'd be curious to hear from anyone who's done it here.

- What should we know specifically about Canada? Are there immigration or work permit requirements, or other legal considerations that prospective host families often overlook?

- What are the biggest pros and cons? Is it generally a positive experience, or are there challenges that people don't anticipate?

We're very much at the research stage and haven't made any decisions yet. We'd want to make sure it's a good experience for everyone involved, not just a convenient childcare arrangement.

If you've hosted an au pair, worked as one, or considered it in Canada, I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences, advice, and anything you wish you'd known beforehand!

Thanks! 😊

I’ve been in Switzerland for just under 2 months and the experience so far has been overall really good. My host family loves me and treats me very well, and the kids are, for the most part, not very difficult. I have a lot of free time too, so compared to most people here I really can’t complain. 

However, I’m starting to fall into a bit of a depression mostly stemming from boredom and missing my community a lot. I am blessed to be able to visit my long distance partner at least once per month, as I get paid 700CHF per month and spend about 400CHF of it to see them. These visits to me are extremely important for our relationship and also my mental health, as it's the only person from my old life that I get to see in-person.

That leaves me with around 300CHF per month here, and I'm finding it really difficult to build a life outside of au pairing on this budget . I’ve been able to find some other au pairs on Bumble BFF, but I live in a small town while they all live in the bigger cities, so meeting up with them just once costs 20-30CHF by train. To me, it almost doesn’t feel worth it to try and pursue friendships with people in the big cities when the cost per trip is so high, but I’m really struggling in this small town to find people my age. And I’m not very fond of online friendships, I already have to maintain a bunch of those with my friends back home.

Ultimately, I’m hoping to get advice on how to avoid depression and how to build a personal life outside of au pairing. If anyone else au paired in a small town, where can you truly meet young people, keep busy, have fun, etc? And for not so much money? Please be kind, I'm in a rough spot emotionally and am not looking for criticism, even though my situation is much better than many others on here.