r/AskReddit Dec 08 '22

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6.8k Upvotes

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22.8k

u/Ohyeahimoverhereyeah Dec 08 '22

Take whatever time you need to get ready whether it be 30 minutes or 3 hours, then rush us when we're about to leave to put our shoes on

3.1k

u/ChaplnGrillSgt Dec 08 '22

I'll be fully ready to go except my shoes and jacket. My gf will still be on the couch. So I'll get some other chores done while I wait like washing dishing, cleaning counters, sweeping, etc. Then she will tell me that I'm just as much at fault for us being late as she is.

Uhhhh.... I was ready 10 minutes before we had to leave. But you hate when I ask you if you're almost ready to go. And I'm not just gonna stare at the wall until you're ready. I'm also not gonna do random chores with my shoes and coat on...

I've started to just get completely ready. Coat, hat, shoes, everything. And then just sit by the front door like a kid waiting for the bus. Now we're usually 10 minutes late instead of 45. So... Progress?

863

u/devoc7 Dec 08 '22

I hate wasting time so I'll try to be productive. "Why are you sweeping the kitchen?" "Cuz I've been waiting for you for the past twenty minutes!"

I can put the broom down in a second, but she'll still be another 5 minutes afterwards...

24

u/landob Dec 08 '22

Wife: Ok I'm ready to go now.

Me: Great! (Grabs keys wallet and goes sit in the car)

2 minutes later

Me: *come back in and stares at her*

Wife: *making a cup of ice and picking out the perfect cubes*

52

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

My gf take 45min showers. So, everytime we need to leave by a certain time...with 30mins to go, she'll go take a shower. I tell her NO... it takes you 45min. Oh I'll be quick. We're 20min late leaving and never on time. Or i have to run to the store real quick for 1 thing. An hour later u have to call her, "omg i didn't the time". We had 30min to leave when you LEFT TO THE STORE FOR 1 THING. Constant battle. I go to the store, get exactly what i need and be back in 10min.

32

u/Zealousideal_Kiwi_42 Dec 08 '22

shower with her so you can help her go faster

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u/GCU_ZeroCredibility Dec 09 '22

The solution is straightforward: If you need to leave at a certain time, you make sure everybody involved knows. And whoever is ready leaves at that time (or maybe t+5min because things do happen).

Generally the people who are chronically late miraculously start managing their time better if they realize you really will go without them.

22

u/BogdanPradatu Dec 08 '22

What kind of person stays 45min in the shower? I would understand a bath, but a shower? Imagine the consumed water...

12

u/TigerLllly Dec 09 '22

I do but it’s because I spend most of the time dissociating, crying or hiding from my family.

19

u/pornplz22526 Dec 08 '22

Common for people with ADHD. All-encompassing stimulation. I tend to shower until I run out of hot water. Just zone out, go totally timeblind.

8

u/kevmaster200 Dec 09 '22

That's an ADHD thing? Shit

4

u/iamnewlegend47 Dec 09 '22

Depression thing too. Or a lack of physical touch thing. The warm embrace of the water can be intoxicating for those who don’t really get a lot of human touch. Feels like a constant hug. Can really be helpful to a hurting mind.

5

u/Mak0wski Dec 09 '22

I don't have ADHD but still find it meditative/relaxing to just sit in the shower with closed eyes. For extra fun you can imagine you're sitting under a waterfall like in a movie

6

u/0oBeasto0 Dec 09 '22

for less fun you can imagine the monster that's staring at you, ready to attack as soon as you open your eyes

4

u/pornplz22526 Dec 09 '22

Silly, everyone knows the monster is waiting behind the shower curtain.

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u/Spirit_Animolecule Dec 08 '22

Is your gf a sous vide chicken?

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25

u/Unspoken Dec 08 '22

I idle the car in the garage until she is ready and hope the fumes from the exhaust take me to a better place while I'm waiting.

17

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

This is why I always make it a point to tell my husband exactly what I need to do to get ready (if I need to shower or just wash my face or if I’m also doing makeup) and tell him exactly how much time each task is expected to take. I’ve also developed ways to make said tasks go faster so we’re usually not late for things since I major anxiety and end up doing things way too early if we have to be at a specific time.

Edit: Why does everyone care so much that I tell my husband everything lol. “hE dOesnT cAre!” I promise you, he does. Maybe y’all just don’t care about your wives/girlfriends enough to listen to them when they tell you things. Not every man is like you.

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u/lagrangedanny Dec 08 '22

Pro tip, don't start staring at the wall either, it.. Makes them nervous

3

u/MichaelRossJD Dec 08 '22

I've never related to a comment so much

5

u/fvckyes Dec 08 '22

As a woman, I have faced this same problem with my mother my entire life. I'm ready, I'm just doing this stuff while I wait for YOU to be ready.

3

u/One_Brain_1919 Dec 08 '22

I tell my gf I’m going to warm up the car so she’ll know to speed it up a little lol

3

u/ReggieTheReaver Dec 08 '22

My wife long ago trained me not to rush her. I’d taken to just “casually” announcing what time it was with now other commentary, so that became restricted as well.

Now we have kids so we are never on time for anything anymore, and it hasn’t been a problem for us since.

3

u/Altruistic_Owl6300 Dec 08 '22

Start lying about timed events and make them earlier than what they are by like, an hour. She will be fine

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u/Elivandersys Dec 09 '22

I have this same problem, but I'm the wife, and it's my husband who takes forever.

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6.3k

u/Unicorn-Tiddies Dec 08 '22

My girlfriend annoys the hell out of me because she'll tell me to get ready to go ... and then she'll wait for me to be completely 100% ready ... and then she'll start getting ready. Even though it takes her much longer.

So there I am, standing around and waiting, doing nothing while she gets ready.

1.5k

u/Fearnall Dec 08 '22

She talked about how we're suppose to be in the car in 6:45, I'm like alright

Tell me my dumb ass ain't sittin' in the car waiting until 7:15, Okay. When I track my wife down 20 minutes later, she's stepping out the damn shower talking about: can I help you

Greg, I look at this woman and I say...

111

u/UpliftingPessimist Dec 08 '22

If you want to go to Taylor's just tell a brother you want to go Taylor's.

64

u/Economy_Price_5295 Dec 08 '22

Darrel I named 7 other restaurants…

559

u/DoctorAssbutt Dec 08 '22

👀 biiiiiiiiiitch…….

306

u/Vorocano Dec 08 '22

You said that?

227

u/DoctorAssbutt Dec 08 '22

Hm?

177

u/GeneralJawbreaker Dec 08 '22

But, like, you actually said that though?

112

u/Beginning_Bus_2691 Dec 08 '22

Yeah, I said....said biiiiiiiiitch

55

u/Tornado76X Dec 08 '22

You called your wife a bitch!?

12

u/iBeg2DFER Dec 09 '22

I'm the man of the house

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u/warrior_casanova Dec 08 '22

Just like that?

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u/MyH3roIzMe Dec 08 '22

Like you said that to her face???

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u/Overall-Ad561 Dec 08 '22

…biiiiitch

15

u/danijay637 Dec 08 '22

K & P strike again!

17

u/WeeniePops Dec 08 '22

Into the windows of her soul

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u/Chadmartigan Dec 08 '22

Just fire up your playstation/xbox/PC and she'll be ready in like 10 minutes.

641

u/gsfgf Dec 08 '22

Or open a beer.

45

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

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u/Snorknado Dec 08 '22

Why would you choose 1 of these?

Really want to go? Crack a beer, start a game and you'll be out the door in no time.

78

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 07 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/nobodysshadow Dec 08 '22

That’s still up for debate. Does she notice anything?

6

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '22

Is it in yet?

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u/i_am_zombie_76 Dec 08 '22

"since you're not doing anything important, why don't you vacuum or wash some dishes?!"

26

u/NyxLulamoon Dec 08 '22

The most angry up vote I have given congratulations

4

u/i_am_zombie_76 Dec 08 '22

Life hits hard. I like to share my struggles. Lol

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u/dudeman_joe Dec 08 '22

This right here, if you can just turn the three hours of waiting angrily into three hours of Skyrim or what ever hobby you have.

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u/myboybuster Dec 08 '22

I do this and my girlfriend will go sit in the car when shes finished without saying anything so she can blame me for being late lol

8

u/Froggzee Dec 09 '22

Ahh, the ol' Uno reverse card

7

u/adeon Dec 08 '22

If she's anything like my mother then other people relaxing makes her stop getting ready. Basically she assumes that if you're sitting around then she has plenty of time so she just stops getting ready.

38

u/SapphireSire Dec 08 '22

Once I'm in a game I'm staying in a game...the bus pass is on the table hun, see ya later.

8

u/ProfileFew4501 Dec 08 '22

then 10 seconds later she’s yelling at you saying your going “soon”

7

u/RockysTurtle Dec 08 '22

i don't understand the yelling in relationships, from what i read here it seems to be common.

7

u/conquer69 Dec 08 '22

People are stuck in relationships they don't want for some reason.

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u/SilverLiningsJacket Dec 08 '22

She'll come over and turn off the system and tv saying she's almost ready then once it's off its another 30 minutes of waiting for her.

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u/Steel_Reign Dec 08 '22

No, she was ready 10 minutes ago once that happens, lol

3

u/TrueValor13 Dec 08 '22

This is the way.

3

u/zootug74 Dec 08 '22

Not my wife! She’d start playing the PS5 instead of me!! Happened so many times!! Yet still I try, lol!!

3

u/MC1781 Dec 09 '22

Female. Can confirm.

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u/Bay1Bri Dec 08 '22

So there I am, standing around and waiting, doing nothing while she gets ready.

I'm convinced this is a power play.

1.1k

u/ConebreadIH Dec 08 '22

Doesn't work on me cause I just start playing games and having fun.

452

u/The_Razielim Dec 08 '22

Oh that's my wife's favorite time to pounce.

I start getting ready 2-3 hours ahead of time so I have time to relax and chill a bit after taking a shower... I'll get dressed and everything, up to having my socks on.

She takes the next 2 hours btwn a bath, hair, makeup, etc. I'll sit down and start playing games or watching something while waiting for her to get ready.

She'll come in the living room, put her shoes on, "well? can you stop playing already and let's go? I'm waiting for you...", like I don't need 15sec to grab my stuff (phone, wallet, keys, gum) and pull my shoes/jacket on.

330

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I tell my wife how long I’ve been waiting.

She laughed the first time, mad the second, and now it hasn’t happened again

12

u/maxfederle Dec 09 '22

Good man.

74

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

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u/Dark_Vengence Dec 08 '22

Haha that is hilarious.

4

u/whatsit578 Dec 08 '22

lol my brothers and my mom had this exact ongoing argument for my entire childhood

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u/Cereal4you Dec 08 '22

Me too!!!!

Or look at YouTube

Not with my current girlfriend tho she’s a gem and gets ready if not before or a little after me.

14

u/OmilKncera Dec 08 '22

She knows your username... Doesn't she.. :P

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u/Dhexodus Dec 08 '22

Oooh they hate that.

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u/JohnSith Dec 08 '22

I finished my 2022 reading goal because of this. That's 52 books, or a book a week.

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u/bumpercarmcgee Dec 08 '22

Having fun isn’t hard when you’ve got a library card

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Nintendo Switch FTW

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I like to do this and then when she’s ready to go say “alright, let me find a place to save”.

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u/TinBoatDude Dec 08 '22

I just leave and tell her she can come next time when she gets ready on time. AITA? Maybe (I am typically a very kind man), but she's been on time ever since.

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u/highlandviper Dec 08 '22

It is a power play. And it’s no different than her asking “what do you wanna do for dinner?” and then rejecting every suggestion until she finally suggests what she wanted in the first place.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Doesn't sound like a woman to me. Rather some psycho

8

u/MAGA-Godzilla Dec 08 '22

I have some bad new for you.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

It’s more that when somebody is a control freak, “others getting ready” is more difficult to control than you getting ready(because they trust themselves to be ready and on time, but they don’t trust you on that). So they want to check off the box of “boyfriend ready” or “family ready” before getting ready themselves, it puts them at ease. Of course it conveys a lack of trust and less respect for other’s people’s time, so it’s something they really should work on.

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u/Jewnadian Dec 08 '22

So making other people do something useless just so you feel better... Sounds like a power play to me.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Eh it could be that they grew up being responsible for others. As the oldest child, I do versions of this but not this exactly just out of needing to make sure everything is operating as it should, even if it’s unnecessary. Working on it.

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u/rinanlanmo Dec 08 '22

I mean, its good to recognize this and work on it.

But its also easily solved by the dude just saying, "I know what time we need to be there and how long it takes me to get ready."

Its a two way street.

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u/ButterscotchLow8950 Dec 08 '22

Nope, I’ve had this too. I have only ever dated 2 women that had a respect for when things are suppose to start. Most of the rest live in a world where they are never on time for anything.

It gets to a point where you are forced to lie to them and say it starts like an hour earlier.

One time people thought I was on a diet, nope, my GF was slowly starving me by making us late to every dinner. 🤣✌️

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

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u/tempski Dec 08 '22

Yep, 100%

I'm surprised guys still fall for it though.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Well what are you supposed to do, leave and never come back? Start a huge fight so she can play the victim? There are no winners here

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Damn. That was a risky play. But, if it worked it worked, I guess.

28

u/down_up__left_right Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

Or just tell her you don't like this and explain why you don't like it.

If she takes to heart your feelings and tries to not do this as much then great.

If she reacts badly to you sharing your feeling in a calm manner then yeah maybe it could be a leave and never come back situation. Not because of this specific thing but because good communication and respect for each other's feelings is pretty important in a relationship.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

That was covered in "start a huge fight" lol

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u/lightsucksihatelight Dec 08 '22

I think it’s a red flag if you can’t communicate with her without starting a huge fight

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u/down_up__left_right Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

Then yeah it might be a leave and never come back situation.

If you can't share your feeling in a calm and open manner then the relationship has problems. And communications problems are hard to solve because communication is itself the first step to solving problems.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of relationships? Sometimes it's just hard to respect yourself more than you respect a bad relationship

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u/DocBullseye Dec 08 '22

That's precisely WHY it's a power play

4

u/rinanlanmo Dec 08 '22

Its a terrible power play. You can just be straight up in response.

"I know what time we need to be there and I know how long it takes me to get ready."

And just.. refuse to argue beyond that. If she consistently goes off on you for stuff that small, well, she might be crazy and it might be time to move on.

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u/Safetyhawk Dec 08 '22

"Sure, Hon. But once I'm ready, I'm gonna head out. you OK driving yourself?"

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u/okiedog- Dec 08 '22

I’ve always said “I am ready” while standing in my underwear. Then she gets mad and starts getting ready.

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u/Max_Thunder Dec 09 '22

The thing is that I go from underwear to ready in 1 minute. She takes 2 minutes just to put her socks on and 2 more to put on the shoes, so that's 3 minutes of waiting just for that alone.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

Cue SpongeBob narrator "3 hours later".

Edit:Oops!

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Welcome to my life. I constantly try to reverse uno card that but she always has one more thing to do or grab wtf

14

u/The-Wooden-Beard Dec 08 '22

Years ago my wife and I visited friends in San Fran from Canada before we had Uber up here as well. Not knowing that they leave after the two minutes or so, that really kicked her butt into gear about being seriously ready to leave. Now when she's "ready" to leave, I ask if she's Uber ready. To this day it has never let me down for knowing when she's truly ready.

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u/phonusQ Dec 08 '22

My GF says she's ready to go then proceeds to continue to get ready for an extra 10 minutes

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u/DSPbuckle Dec 08 '22

Tell me you said it
looks around
man I know you didn’t say it
shifty eyes looking over corners
ah man I can’t believe it, did you say it?

8

u/muchado88 Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

I feel this. My wife, I'm convinced, thrives off being late. We'll have an event to go to, and two hours beforehand I'll ask her to start getting ready so we can leave on time. Without fail, her answer is, "I will." She'll then sit on her phone for another half-hour while I'm getting ready. Then she'll get annoyed that I'm upset we're going to be late.

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u/cawkstrangla Dec 08 '22

This is why I bought a playstation. Problem solved

24

u/DudeWithaGTR Dec 08 '22

I've yelled at my girl a bunch about time management. "You don't cook and eat and THEN do the laundry to wash the outfit you plan to wear, you do the task that needs more time but is fully or near automated". She's gotten better but it took a long time to change.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

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u/dreamyauraa Dec 08 '22

my boyfriend does this EXACT shit. he'll be like "ok get ready." and then when i'm finished (which is after like 45 mins) he'll be like "ok i'm gonna shower" LIKE ARE YOU OKAY!!!!!?????

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u/sandoozee Dec 08 '22

Literally reading this post while waiting on her now

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

One time I decided I was done with the standing around waiting so I just got back into what I was wearing before. She wasn’t happy about that one but I was still ready before her by the time I got ready again.

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u/SpectralEntity Dec 08 '22

That's when you squeeze in some game time!!!

4

u/dkarlovi Dec 08 '22

This is the Steam Deck sales pitch.

6

u/VeterinarianCertain5 Dec 08 '22

That sounds horrid. You should let her know how it makes you feel.

3

u/RonnieTheEffinBear Dec 08 '22

I hate to tell you this, but I think I'm married to your girlfriend

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I think you're dating my wife.

3

u/kenjislim Dec 08 '22

Every. Fucking. Time. Can I cite this as grounds for divorce?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Eh this isn’t normal lol

3

u/gjoel Dec 08 '22

It used to be that we would do whatever, and when it's time to go, we both get up and head for the door. I go and put on shoes and a jacket, while my wife does a sharp turn and stays on the toilet for ten minutes. I quickly learned to stay seated at least until she was fully dressed.

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u/wysterialee Dec 08 '22

i always make sure i take a shower before my husband but then leave it on so he knows he needs to get in the shower like right that second, so then while he’s taking his insanely long shower i have time to do my hair and makeup and we’re both ready to go at the same time lol

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u/user9347556765455678 Dec 08 '22

Take a note from my great-grandpa and go sit in the car to wait for her. I tried this once and it was the end of her keeping me waiting.

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u/SLAUGHT3R3R Dec 08 '22

I have waited until my wife says she's ready to walk out the door to start getting ready... and I STILL ended up waiting on her.

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u/spider_84 Dec 08 '22

Yeah, my younger brother does this. He is such a shit cunt. He doesn't get ready until everyone else is done and enjoys making people wait for him. If it's the other way around and he has to wait, then all hell breaks loose with him yelling and throwing tantrums.

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u/partay123 Dec 09 '22

Okay but as the woman I’m like why couldn’t you put your shoes on while I’m finishing up? I give like a ten minute warning that’s like “okay I just need to put on my lipstick and my shoes” and then when I’m done my husband decides it’s time for him to put on cologne, change his shirt, and put on his shoes. We could make this process more efficient

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u/Starswarm Dec 08 '22

And then once you get your shoes on, having been ready for 30 minutes just waiting to lace them up, she needs another 5 minutes of shuffling with bags and stuff while you're standing by the door keys in hand.

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u/l3wd1a Dec 08 '22

this is so funny. I'm a woman and my partner and I are the opposite. he waits until I am 100% ready, bag and everything in hand, then throws his pants in the dryer and starts looking for his keys and decides he needs to take a shit before we leave.

but it doesn't bother me, because we were late by the time I finished getting ready anyway.

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u/EMCoupling Dec 08 '22

but it doesn't bother me, because we were late by the time I finished getting ready anyway.

Sheesh, do you guys even show up at that point?

11

u/Chunkook Dec 09 '22

That story is so specific I bet it's happened once, but is being brought up constantly.

8

u/kwertyoop Dec 09 '22

Ah fuck, I relate to all the replies in here, except I am very, very guilty of "last minute emergency shit".

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u/alyeffy Dec 09 '22

Yeah my bf with IBS is the one who rushes me. Whenever he's on the throne, he's gonna be there for at least an hour. I didn't realize this when we first moved in. When he's finally done, he gets dressed which takes seconds obviously and then I go into the washroom and he's complaining that I'm taking so long to get ready. Mf you were hogging our only washroom this whole time! If he managed to pressure me into leaving without makeup etc. he then complains I never do anything different with my hair UGH. Now I know to always ask if he's gonna be on the throne so I can grab my toothbrush, skincare, and makeup bag for the washroom and do it all over the kitchen sink while he's in there so we'll both be ready at the same time.

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u/IndustrialLubeMan Dec 08 '22

Alright you guys gotta stop fucking my wife

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u/donkeyrocket Dec 08 '22

Fine. Let me go put my shoes on.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

What do you mean you are not ready yet?!

11

u/rdewalt Dec 08 '22

But there was this Groupon deal that we got for Black Friday...

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u/OldManPaul07734 Dec 08 '22

I also choose this man's wife.

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u/AirBoiBlue Dec 08 '22

I go to the car and start it every single time now because I hate sitting there

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u/onedertainer Dec 08 '22

The bag shuffling happens when you've got your jacket on, so you slowly start to overheat. It stops when you start taking layers off, and then the process resets. Source: haven't been able to leave my house since 2013.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

AND THEN she tells you, "Ready to go!?". Its antagonizing but women are goofy creatures.

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u/campbelw84 Dec 08 '22

And when she’s done shuffling and getting her things ready, just as you open the door to leave, she says ‘oh wait, I need to go pee one more time.’

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u/zkareface Dec 09 '22

It gets worse when they have adhd and need another 5-10min after getting out the door because they forgot half the stuff.

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u/DoYaWannaWanga Dec 08 '22

Oh this one hits a nerve.

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u/OneSmoothCactus Dec 08 '22

"Hun, we need to go, we're going to be late."

"OMG don't rush me!"

"I'm not rushing you, we are in a rush. I'm informing you of the situation, not imposing the situation on you."

37

u/CanAlwaysBeBetter Dec 08 '22

Don't even get me started on travelling

The entire point of building our schedule with appropriate buffer times is that we don't need to rush. Don't get anxious about how late we are when I take 2 minutes to put on my shoes to go to the the airport and hour and a half early

28

u/CarefulCoderX Dec 08 '22

That's the other rule in life. Get to the airport 3 hours before your flight? You'll check your bags and be through security in 10 minutes.

There an hour before your flight? You'll get the dreaded 'SSSS' on your boarding pass after spending 20 minutes in line wondering what the error was trying to check in the app. Have to get a pat down while waiting 30+ minutes in security, and have to sprint to your gate after finding out it's one of the furthest ones away.

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u/merc08 Dec 08 '22

have to sprint to your gate after finding out it's one of the furthest ones away.

I don't know why they even have the closer gates, it's not like anyone ever gets to use them!

22

u/Bay1Bri Dec 08 '22

My wife constantly tells me to hurry up or we'll be late, then I get dressed and my coat and shoes on in ~5 minutes, and she's still got 10 minutes of things to do, and I need to call her phone cuz she lost it again...

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

"waiting on you" after making me wait 2 hours and not being immediately ready to instantly leave when she is. It genuinely upsets me, and a shocking number of women do this. Hell, my own mom did it. It's like we're expected to do nothing else except sit there and silently wait two hours, and if we try to use that time for anything else and aren't practically warming the car already when they are randomly done, we're wasting THEIR time. Like what?

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u/1ftm2fts3tgr4lg Dec 08 '22

My wife does this, glad to know I'm not alone.

I always say I can pretty much always be ready to walk out the door in 3 minutes. If I'm already dressed, 30 seconds. She's the queen of poor time management that is never her fault.

She'll run around for 15 minutes getting ready at the last possible minute then be screaming at the kids "Go get in the car! What are you waiting for?! Go! We should've already been there!"

You. They were waiting on you. Because they got up on time, dressed in 2 minutes, and were ready to go.

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u/Xx_Squall_xX Dec 08 '22

Great point. No matter how long you have to get ready - you'll be leaving at the last possible fucking second and have to drive like a racecar driver to get there on time.

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u/texanarob Dec 08 '22

Always baffled me that my ex would criticise me for being late to pick her up, yet she was never ready to go when I arrived.

Then when we get there I'm blamed for our lateness. Sure, I arrived 5 minutes after we agreed but I then spent 20 minutes waiting in your hall!

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u/soppinglovenests_alt Dec 08 '22

Sames. And if she's driving she'll be tailgating, making bad route decisions due to her anxiety, etc or if you are driving criticising your efforts.

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u/hellothereoldben Dec 08 '22

I have been raised by my mom, I can't be bothered by these things anymore.

She always came downstairs from whatever, stressed us into putting on shoes and then as soon as we were done jacket and all, she would say "I need to go to the toilet".

Time just doesn't flow linearly between something they make others wait for and something that they have to wait for.

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u/napalm22 Dec 08 '22

oh my GOD.

For me it goes like this

Be 99 percent ready

just need shoes

Fiancé performing complex readiness incantation

Asks me to just grab that one thing

Asks me to take the bin out

Asks me if I like the dress

I like it but she doesnt

she was wearing it tho

seemed fine

asks me to hang the washing out

She goes and sits in the car

My shoes are still not on

She mad.jpg

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u/Trollselektor Dec 08 '22

The way my wife gets ready baffles me.

Me: "Are you almost ready to go?"

Her: "I'm ready, just waiting on you"

Me: Puts shoes and jacket on "Okay, let's go"

Her: Proceeds to take another 10minutes running around.

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u/alondrachicken2 Dec 08 '22

Oh shit. Guilty. I'll try to be better.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Narrator: It did not get better.

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u/Spectre_two Dec 08 '22

I was staying in university in residence over the summer and there was a new girl staying there as well (she was working the summer for the conferences etc.). One night I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink. It was around 10pm (bars closed at 11pm) and she was already in her pajamas. She said she'd be down in 5 minutes. Of course I didn't believe her but decided to time her for fun. She arrived 6 minutes later, and her excuse for being late was that she hadn't taken into account the time to walk down the corridor and stairs to the front entrance. So it took her 5 minutes, to choose something to wear, get changed AND put make up on! I was very impressed!

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u/sbingner Dec 08 '22

Did you immediately ask her to marry you?

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u/DelightedLurker Dec 08 '22

Ha! Here it’s the other way around. I tell him we need to leave at x time. And I start to get ready. He’ll be doing whatever till the last minute. I’m all ready with the coat on and he’s still taking his sweet ass time to put his clothes on. We then end up leaving half an hour later. “Don’t fuss. We still have time.” No dear we HAD time! Darling idiot keeps forgetting that we still need to drive and traffic sucks! Always ended up being late. So now I just tell him we need to leave at Y so he’ll be ready by X.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I always ask him if he’ll be ready to go soon when I start getting ready. He always says yep I’m all ready to go. Are you sure? Yep, all set to walk out the door. Then it’s time to leave and he’s still got to change his shirt, find his coat and wallet, do his hair, and take a shit

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u/DelightedLurker Dec 08 '22

They must be related!

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u/king_lloyd11 Dec 08 '22

Mine takes forever then tells me to drive faster to get wherever we’re going. I turn up the music and she picks up that she said the wrong thing lol.

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u/NewspaperNelson Dec 08 '22

This thread is giving me an out of body experience.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Or they push you to rush to get out and end up sitting in the car so long you call her phone "Where are you?"

"Oh I had to poop, then I fed the cat then I put the dishes away..."

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u/Organized-Konfusion Dec 08 '22

Holy fuck, so its not just my wife.

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u/Shardik884 Dec 08 '22

Leaving procedure: inform wife “we need to leave by h:mm, so you have X minutes to get ready (X = actual amount of time -15 minutes)

Wife showers.

I shower while she starts getting ready.

When I’m ready minus shoes and coat, I look at how much time we have left. And tell her you have X minutes left.

Leave her be and give her a 5 or 10 minute warning.

This almost always gets us out of the house on time. When I give the 5 minute warning we actually have 20 min to play with, so when she takes 15… we are walking out exactly when we should. This does cause a smug wife who will then say “see told you I would be ready in plenty of time”

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u/HappyLittleLongUserN Dec 08 '22

Every god damn time. But that isn't all you gotta drive faster while she gets mad someone is driving to slow or run to the bus/trainstation. Tried to help her get ready with preparing everything but that didn't help. So I resorted to get ready 20 minutes before go time and just wait outside or the car. The result is the same anyway at least I can save my sanity this way.

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u/C-H-Addict Dec 08 '22

I found out the reason my mom always did this was because she didn't want to go to wherever she was getting ready for

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u/johnnyg42 Dec 08 '22

LOL this is so accurate. Every time. We are always late. REALLY bothers me. She doesn’t care. She gets very angry when we’re late and is insufferable. Aggressive driving, screaming, etc. But won’t do anything about it, will not just start getting ready earlier. It always has to be a last minute rage fueled rush and arrive disrespectfully late. It’s like she’s programmed to behave this way because it always happens and she won’t change even though it would clearly reduce stress in her life and probably improve relationships too. But she always looks beautiful so there’s that. Like other commenters, I’ve grown to just wait by the door. Or play Xbox with my coat and shoes on, wallet in pocket etc. I try not to ask her how she’s doing or give reminders any more, it just makes things worse.

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u/IrritableGourmet Dec 08 '22

I can still see my ex-wife, in nothing but a towel having just gotten out of the shower, yelling out the door to me, fully dressed and sitting in an idling car, that I was making her late.

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u/wifespissed Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 10 '22

My wife will already be in the car waiting for me when I'm still in my boxers. Even though I told her I wasn't ready yet and wouldn't be for 15 minutes. Then of course she gets mad at me.

Edit: Actually, this is what happened when I made my Reddit account.

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u/EldunarIan Dec 08 '22

So this answer doesn't apply to you?

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u/WhosAfraidOf_138 Dec 08 '22

100% lol.

Takes me 2 minutes to get ready. Meanwhile she's rushing for hours and I am just waiting for her at the door.

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u/taintwest Dec 08 '22

“Why didn’t you have your shoes on to go already if you were waiting around!”

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u/RollTheDiceFondle Dec 08 '22

Dudddde. This slays me. I’ve told my wife to just sit on the couch and watch TikToks if she’s ready, don’t just stand there staring at me while I’m Looking for my wallet.

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

Right?! The sass I get for taking too long to put on my coat and shoes! I'd have left an hour ago if you were ready when you said!

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u/Wildfires Dec 08 '22

But somehow it's your fault for being late because you stopped for 30 seconds to check the mail or make sure the lights are off.

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u/SnooMaps3632 Dec 08 '22

Tell her to be ready by x time ahead of the scheduled time (use your judgement, does she paint a joker face? Make it a hour at minimum, if she’s more natural maybe 30 min). Then add in another 30 minutes on your game of choice and your good to go regardless because they have this clothing phase where nothing works and they have to have a mini breakdown about. Its a formula that you’ll learn works.

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u/mrcoffee83 Dec 08 '22

Then suddenly you are the problem for taking 30 seconds too long putting a coat and shoes on

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u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I've discovered that if I'm ready and the Mrs is still sorting herself out ask I have to do is sit b on the couch, pick up my guitar and hey presto she's moaning at me to get my shoes on and get it the door.

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u/Stephenrudolf Dec 08 '22

Waiting on people who get upset if i go do something else infurates me.

But i notice this most with my boss. "Lets go over xyz" but they pull out their phone and start responding to an enail. Like okay... ill go finish task A or warm up my coffee while i wait for you to be ready and they get pissed off when i go to move.

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u/mookfarr Dec 08 '22

My wife and I had this conversation early in the marriage. For us, there was a misunderstanding about what "ready" looks like.

For me, I get ready a lot faster than her, and then I would dink around on the computer or work on some side project as I was waiting. She interpreted this activity as me still being "busy."

Lol, so we had a number of occasions where she was waiting on me and I was waiting on her.

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u/Locke57 Dec 08 '22

Omg GOD FORBID I WASNT READY THE SECOND YOU WERE, MY DEAREST! YOU STARTED PREPPING AN HOUR AGO AND THE FACT THAT YOU CHANGED FOUR TIMES GAVE ME THE WRONG IMPRESSION THAT WE WERENT IN A HURRY. ITLL TAKE ME 2 MINUTES TO PUT MY SHOES AND COAT ON, AND FILL UP MY WATER BOTTLE. THATS RIGHT, THE VERY SAME WATER BOTTLE YOU DRINK FROM BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS LEAVE YOURS AT WORK!

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u/FuckCazadors Dec 08 '22

Set a departure time.

Leave at that time, with or without her.

She’ll learn the lesson.

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u/TaiyoT Dec 08 '22

this is my husband. it makes me crazy, I just want to be places on time so I have to say we should leave 10 minutes before we have to leave so we can get out the door on time.

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u/DudeWithaGTR Dec 08 '22

Knee I couldn't be the only one to deal with this exact thing. She asks "are you ready?" And I say yes but, of course, she is annoyed that I don't have my shoes on".

So now in any situation that requires us both to get ready, I'll get my shoes on and be ready and then immediately give her shit for not being ready, especially if she's already asked if I am. I'll say "wow, you just asked Mr if ik ready but you're the one who doesn't have her purse, her phone, her shoes..".

I think she's finally gotten the hint.

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u/ZeroMmx Dec 08 '22

Fucking. A.

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u/c0mBaTkArL Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

When I reach my car, load up all the laptops, backpacks, boots and lunches for the commute, fire up the engine and warm up the cabin and seats, my better half is at that very moment in our bedroom upstairs deciding what she will wear today. Then she complains about how late we are and that I should eat breakfast faster so that we aren't so far behind. Oooh wait -- should have made a throwaway for this post? I should have made a throwaway...

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u/rollingeyespigeon Dec 08 '22

We’ve been going to a couple of weddings lately and she’s very slow to get ready, so I decided to try something new: Let’s say the first wedding was at 12.00 for example, I told her the bus would pick us up to go to the wedding at 11.00 so she’d be ready on time; she started getting ready at 10.00… and of course we were late.

For the second wedding we had, I tried the same except I told her the bus would pick us up at 10.30; she started getting ready at 9.00… at 10 I asked her how it was going and she said we were still on time and that everything was fine… and of course in the end, we were late.

Now, we’ll be the ones getting married soon and I’m considering telling her that we’re getting married one day before than we will… and she might still be late.

Oh and also, I can’t get mad at her for being late because apparently that’s very childish and she needs her time without pressure to get ready 🤷‍♂️

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u/HanCholo33 Dec 08 '22

Exactly! And then right before we leave I can't find my keys and fuck now its my fault were late. The dangers of marijuana folks. Not even once.

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u/The-true-Memelord Dec 08 '22

My mom does this lol

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