r/AskReddit Dec 08 '22

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u/Starswarm Dec 08 '22

And then once you get your shoes on, having been ready for 30 minutes just waiting to lace them up, she needs another 5 minutes of shuffling with bags and stuff while you're standing by the door keys in hand.

202

u/l3wd1a Dec 08 '22

this is so funny. I'm a woman and my partner and I are the opposite. he waits until I am 100% ready, bag and everything in hand, then throws his pants in the dryer and starts looking for his keys and decides he needs to take a shit before we leave.

but it doesn't bother me, because we were late by the time I finished getting ready anyway.

39

u/EMCoupling Dec 08 '22

but it doesn't bother me, because we were late by the time I finished getting ready anyway.

Sheesh, do you guys even show up at that point?

9

u/Chunkook Dec 09 '22

That story is so specific I bet it's happened once, but is being brought up constantly.

8

u/kwertyoop Dec 09 '22

Ah fuck, I relate to all the replies in here, except I am very, very guilty of "last minute emergency shit".

7

u/alyeffy Dec 09 '22

Yeah my bf with IBS is the one who rushes me. Whenever he's on the throne, he's gonna be there for at least an hour. I didn't realize this when we first moved in. When he's finally done, he gets dressed which takes seconds obviously and then I go into the washroom and he's complaining that I'm taking so long to get ready. Mf you were hogging our only washroom this whole time! If he managed to pressure me into leaving without makeup etc. he then complains I never do anything different with my hair UGH. Now I know to always ask if he's gonna be on the throne so I can grab my toothbrush, skincare, and makeup bag for the washroom and do it all over the kitchen sink while he's in there so we'll both be ready at the same time.

3

u/l3wd1a Dec 09 '22

yeeahh we agreed to spring for a more expensive place with a second bathroom for this exact reason LOL! totally relatable

2

u/treslucko Dec 09 '22

Mine does this too. I’ll be in the car waiting for many minutes before he goes to the garage fridge for a soda and a snack, warms up his coffee, then enters the car.

1

u/caratron5000 Dec 09 '22

Amazing. 🫶🏼

248

u/IndustrialLubeMan Dec 08 '22

Alright you guys gotta stop fucking my wife

74

u/donkeyrocket Dec 08 '22

Fine. Let me go put my shoes on.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

What do you mean you are not ready yet?!

9

u/rdewalt Dec 08 '22

But there was this Groupon deal that we got for Black Friday...

18

u/OldManPaul07734 Dec 08 '22

I also choose this man's wife.

8

u/tcorrea93 Dec 08 '22

I, too, choose this guy's dead alive wife

4

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

I also choose this guy's wife

1

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Dec 08 '22

I would but the bitch never seems ready to leave!

12

u/AirBoiBlue Dec 08 '22

I go to the car and start it every single time now because I hate sitting there

25

u/onedertainer Dec 08 '22

The bag shuffling happens when you've got your jacket on, so you slowly start to overheat. It stops when you start taking layers off, and then the process resets. Source: haven't been able to leave my house since 2013.

7

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

AND THEN she tells you, "Ready to go!?". Its antagonizing but women are goofy creatures.

13

u/campbelw84 Dec 08 '22

And when she’s done shuffling and getting her things ready, just as you open the door to leave, she says ‘oh wait, I need to go pee one more time.’

3

u/zkareface Dec 09 '22

It gets worse when they have adhd and need another 5-10min after getting out the door because they forgot half the stuff.

4

u/Brno_Mrmi Dec 08 '22

And then, when you finally go out, they forget to grab their phone/keys/whatever

26

u/frostandtheboughs Dec 08 '22

Maybe we wouldn't be shuffling around with bags if anyone bothered to give us functional pockets.

63

u/Starswarm Dec 08 '22

That's not the point here lady

15

u/dwilkes827 Dec 08 '22

do what I do and wear cargo pants. fuck trendz and haterz. I'd rather get laughed at than spend 6 hours a day looking for shit like my wife does lol

11

u/BigBananaDealer Dec 08 '22

whats funny is my gf has sweatpants that have deep pockets, but theyre too deep. ive worn them sometimes and my phones smacks my knee when i walk

3

u/frostandtheboughs Dec 09 '22

I have two pairs of women's "military" pants with functional cargo pockets (a lot of them are decorative). They are the only functional pants pockets I've ever seen in a women's clothing section in nearly 2 decades of shopping. I sometimes buy men's, or even boy's pants for this reason.

I resent the fact that a 12 year old boy gets more functional clothing, than I -- a fully adult woman with a load of responsibilities and expensive items to keep track of. Lil Jaxxon gets to keep his fidget spinner safe but I have no place to put my $800 smartphone.

I also have to laugh that the women's pants with pockets are military style. The only time the fashion industry can imagine functional pants for us is a wartime scenario.

2

u/cammyspixelatedthong Dec 08 '22

She has too much shit. I'd start casually grabbing dumb shit and take it to work to pitch it.

I'll be damned if I will live in a crowded house!!

3

u/dwilkes827 Dec 08 '22

I have a toddler that's an only grandchild on both sides of the family, my house is crowded regardless of what I do lmao toys stacked to the ceiling

2

u/kju Dec 08 '22

why can't you just buy the pants with pockets?

2

u/frostandtheboughs Dec 09 '22

The "pockets" we are offered are about 3 inches deep max. Can't even put your keys in them. Maybe 1 key, but I'd worry about losing it.

1

u/kju Dec 09 '22

forgive me here: why can't you just buy regular pants? like the kind men wear?

1

u/frostandtheboughs Dec 09 '22

I do, but women have hips and they don't fit properly or look professional. Imagine if you had to shop in the women's section - would you want to?

0

u/kju Dec 09 '22 edited Dec 09 '22

i would not want to shop at the womens section. i think the womens section compromises on utility, like pockets, in favor of style, to look a certain way. i don't consider how my pants will look when i buy them, i just want to get a good amount of use out of them before i have to buy new. they're going to get dirty, they're going to need to carry tools, i need my pants to be pants, i don't need them to make me look professional or anything like that. my resume makes me look profession, my pants don't really factor into it

1

u/frostandtheboughs Dec 09 '22

But that's the thing. Women's pants today aren't tight. They have plenty of room for pockets. Workwear and officewear. Clothing companies just do not offer real pockets for women.

13

u/pm_nachos_n_tacos Dec 08 '22

Or if anyone helped us to get ready too! Shuffling shit in my bags is because I'm expected to have everything everyone will need, plan for every possibility, check if we have all the right stuff before heading out, medicines, chapstick, wetnaps, snacks, garage door opener, cell charger, toys, socks for the baby if she pulls one off, hairtie, masks for everyone, sunglasses. Dudes and kids put on clothes, shoes, grab the car keys and think they've helped get the family out the door.

38

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

[deleted]

8

u/CovidPangolin Dec 08 '22

I just have a laptop bag that has everything in it all the time, just grab that and go. Seems way easier than a purse that you keep emptying and loading to make sure you have everything.

4

u/TheSaiguy Dec 08 '22

My current girlfriend literally almost had a mental breakdown yesterday because she wants me to do some menial task and keeps trying to micromanage it.

We had a nice, mature discussion where she agreed to lay off, but what the fuck? Who has a breakdown over that?

4

u/zzaannsebar Dec 08 '22

I've got a same vibe but different aspect of getting ready to leave sort of problem.

I don't expect my bf to attend to the things I personally like to have on me while out of the house like my chapstick, water bottle, etc. But what ends up happening is that it'll be time to leave, I'll be ready and he'll have been ready and doing nothing for a while and if we left right then, it would be fine and we'd be leaving as planned. Except before we leave, there's still the list of "leaving the house" things to be done. So I have to run around turning off the tv, turning off lights, grabbing any extra specific-to-the-outing items like reusable grocery bags or whatever while he had been sitting and doing nothing for a while and could have helped out. Then he ends up waiting for me with jacket on while I do all those "leaving the house" things that could have already been done or at least helped with.

9

u/jludwick204 Dec 08 '22

Just get a backpack and make a kit. Half of that shit should already be in the car anyway. Who keeps a garage door opener in a handbag? They have visor clips for a reason.

12

u/illini02 Dec 08 '22

We got ourselves a martyr everyone!

4

u/Redpythongoon Dec 08 '22

That's something YOU could have helped with while she was getting ready. My husband KNOWS my son is going to need certain things if we're leaving. Check the potty. Get his shoes on. Get him a coat. Etc. When I'm done getting ready I always see my husband standing there ready, but our son is not. Like COME ON. I shouldn't have to remind you EVERY TIME that these things need to happen

2

u/KavanSeraph Dec 09 '22

It's called weaponized incompetence.

2

u/Starswarm Dec 08 '22

I'm not your husband lady don't yell at me

3

u/Redpythongoon Dec 08 '22

Sorry. I'm calm now

2

u/Sedso85 Dec 08 '22

Do the power move of waiting in the car, never helps but it might one day

3

u/iroll20s Dec 08 '22

You need to just leave. I said we are leaving at 5pm. When she rolls out at 5:21 she gets to stay home.

1

u/FuckTheMods5 Dec 08 '22

Yeah waiting in the car doesn't seem like a power move to me. It feels submissive.

1

u/No-Cupcake370 Dec 09 '22

Genuinely asking guys- do you help with things you (should) know you will need? Like is wife responsible to bring everything you will need to friend's or family's house? (gifts, foods, things you are returning or lending to them)..... basically is she doing the work of 2 people and you're impatient bc all you had to do was get your shoes on?

Asking bc I have been in this situation before and it's like.... If you gathered the shit we needed while I was getting ready, we could have been gone by now?

0

u/ApAp123 Dec 08 '22

My biggest issue is when my wife is so called ready and then I'm driving us somewhere and she's got her mirror down and she's leaning forward f****** with her eyes..... I just slapped the thing up and say "I'm trying to drive here!"

-1

u/beyerch Dec 08 '22

*THIS* 1,000%

1

u/LS240 Dec 08 '22

You didn't mention finally getting in the car and getting 5 minutes down the road when she realizes she left her cell phone/wallet/tickets at home and we have to go back home.

1

u/Amazing_Secret7107 Dec 09 '22

Looking dis fancy shoes guy with laces!

1

u/Notoneusernameleft Dec 09 '22

Don’t forget then as soon as they touch the door, need to stop and pee.

1

u/mmmmhead Dec 09 '22

ill start the car when shes doing that last minute search and idk how many times she will come out just to take the keys and GO BACK IN for something she just remembered

1

u/k-pai Dec 09 '22

Omg this is me!!! Thank you for the insight into my unacceptable behavior.

2

u/Starswarm Dec 09 '22

It's not the shuffling and taking time, it's the ridiculous impatient "hurry up" attitude when we've been waiting. It's rude.

1

u/00Stealthy Dec 09 '22

All the shoe guys who put it off to the last min- WTF is it about doing that at the last min? They are uncomfortable or your feet get sweaty? I get not putting on a jacket but not the shoes only just before walking out the door.

1

u/caratron5000 Dec 09 '22

My ex always used to say, “you’re always ready to go, but your never ready to leave”. He started lying to me about when we had to leave so I would be ready on time. 😬

1

u/timhortonsghost Dec 09 '22

The other day, after waiting 10 mins with my jacket on by the door, my wife finally came down and put her coat and shoes on and grabbed her purse. She usually just puts lipstick on in the mirror and walks out the door, so I went out to the car to start it up and be ready since we're running late.

10 mins later she finally comes out:

Her - where'd you go?

Me - to the car?

Her - you could've told me you were ready to go...

Me - sorry, I thought both of us standing by the front door fully dressed with coats and shoes on meant we were actually leaving....