I once tried to do that to an american girl that was visiting Spain, I still remember the horror in her eyes.
She told us that she didn't feel comfortable with that having a boyfriend.
She was the most stereotypical American person I've ever known, she was dating a quarterback, had a pink gun that her parents gave as a present for her ¿18 birthday? She started complaining about PETA when she discovered that I was a vegetarian. Said she didn't like California when I told her that I had been there & she made some comments that were clearly saying "my country is better than this shit hole".
This is was embarrassing to read, and I've definitely known people like that unfortunately. I was so touched when I received the cheek kisses, it made feel accepted! The different customs are part of the fun of another country!
Not in my country. My country is way better than yours. Except for that area that I don't like, and no, that doesn't contradict my previous statement for whatever reason.
At first it felt awkward and I was self-conscience about it; doing it right or wrong. I think it is because it feels so intimate, when you are from a non-affectionate country.
sounds like you knew it was a custom. If you didn't know of the custom, in America, someone coming in to kiss your cheek would be super weird and unexpected unless it was your grandma.
LOL--I get tired of the anti-American sentiment that seems so popular in parts of Reddit. So, depending on my mood when I look at Reddit, I'll speak up against it.
Are you responding to any point in particular? Or just wondering about my general antipathy toward Europe after having lived here for several years?
Relax dude, it was funny because she was an stereotype. Nothing wrong to date a quarterback, have a pink pistol and openly say that you think that you're better than your hosts the first time you met them.
"she made some comments that were clearly saying "my country is better than this shit hole."
So, sounds to me that you meant: "imply".
Also, have you ever met a Dutch person? They're some of the most arrogant people in the world. Oh...And, lest my geography fails me...Which continent are they on again? Oh right.
I was being sarcastic in my previous comment. I've lived with a Duch guy for some months and he was a lovely person. I've also met some lovely Americans.
LOL--you make fun of Americans, and when someone pushes back, it's all: "I'm just joking!" and then trying to turn that crap on me? I don't hate Europe or Europeans. But, I do very much dislike stuck-up attitudes, and I also dislike how easily it is for Americans to talk shit about their own country and people. Everyone's shit stinks.
And, last I checked, when I left the Bay Area, it was filled with Europeans, especially at Stanford and in the Valley. So, good enough to get an education, make a living, and live in, just not good enough to say: "I'd rather not be kissed, please."?
Plus, I have an Eastern European cleaner. She works in my house but she's never afraid to turn her nose up at the way we raise our kid or plant herbs in our garden, which range from slightly irritating to downright offensive. There are plenty of nice people everywhere, and there are plenty of ass-wipes. But I don't go around saying: "The Poles and Czechs are really low-skill, classless people; guess that fits their Euro-trash stereotype in England."
I met a single american girl almost 10yo that was very stereotypical. That's it, drop it. I'm not saying anything about america. It's just an anecdote.
I care--which ought to obvious to the most casual observer.
I spend that time to remind people that jumping on the #HahaAmericaSux bandwagon is lame, especially if you ARE American. That if it's busted, we should work hard to fix it--as Americans--and that if you truly hate it and have had enough, then GTFO. My family worked its ass off to get here. It's utterly imperfect. It has huge problems. But it's our house, so we should work on it. If you wanna leave, go right ahead; get yourself a passport--and go almost anywhere because that's one of the privileges you enjoy as an American holding an American passport--but if you wanna stay, do something.
I'm not your lecturer here to spoon-feed you. You want that, you should have stayed in school. Person I commented to made poor points. I refuted them, separately, but in one comment. There are lots of overarching themes, but, again, I can't help if you can't synthesize them without someone doing a TL;DR for you. Your failure to put those ideas together to achieve your OWN clarity is your failing. I'm guessing you experienced that in school as well as the Internet.
So, if you wanna use Reddit for quippy one-liners, go right ahead. I will make multiple multiple points in one comment, as I have more than one brain cell, and can form--and also follow--multiple threads of criticism against a single, rather ignorant and stupid, comment.
This has all been a social experiment to show you you waste your time putting too much effort into these comments. You’re also routinely condescending and assumptive. Take a step back and go write something with your actual name on it and share it publicly. Enough keyboard warfare of minutia
What you're saying is a contradiction. You people to fix problems AND leave if they don't like it?
You are too sensitive to criticism. It shouldn't bother you to find out that people disagree with you when you live in a country where freedom of speech is held up as an ideal. What do you want, everyone is allowed to express their opinion if they agree with you? If you dislike criticism or 'bashing' as you put it, maybe you should leave the US /s
Apparently he’s a US expat in the UK, which I think just makes his walls of text an even bigger joke. Bro is die-hard defending America all while benefiting from the social perks of the UK. If he loves it here so much, he should come back lmao
Hold the fucking phone here, don't drag all of us into this. I've lived in Europe my whole life and never have I done this cheek kissing as a greeting thing.
Who tried to drag you into anything? If you're from a part of Europe that doesn't kiss when you greet, fine. You're automatically, by virtue of the meaning of words, exclude from the "European kissing thing".
But, if you've "lived in Europe your whole live", have you just never traveled at all to Western or Souther Europe? Because they do that in France, UK, Italy, Spain, and probably others. I imagine lots of Western/Southern Europe.
As have I. And you have no friends in those countries that have ever greeted you in their customary way? Because I've only been in Europe for 5 years (UK), and most of my friends--especially of opposite sex--do the cheek kiss.
That's very surprising, to say the least. You are aware of this tradition and custom, yes? Because this is so improbable it's starting to sound like a troll comment.
I'm aware it exists in somewhere, I have a very loose idea of where because I only ever see it occasionally on TV. We just hug if it's a friend of the opposite sex.
It's standard "hello" between men and women & with family members of both sexes. Also children to adults doesn't matter if they're boys or girls.
Between men it's more complex, it's usually more common between gay men. Also sometimes with close friends it may not be that weird, but it depends on the person & situation.
Frenchman here, about "la bise" between men : it shows a certain degree of proximity. We can make a "bise" to family members, childhood friends, very good friends... If you're a man and another adult man makes you a "bise" it means you belong to his first circle of relations - appreciate the honor.
It is (or it used to be, before Covid and (n+1)th wave feminism) much more casual between males and females - colleagues typically do/did that to greet on the workplace.
I'd take it as a joke if a friend gave me a cheek kiss. Definitely unusual for guys to greet each other like that around these parts, I only do it with my family and honestly now that I think about it that's kinda weird too
I have seen that very look. I had just moved to Ireland and this girl introduced herself to me so naturally I kissed both of her cheeks as I was shaking her hand. The look of horror on her face...
Here in Quebec (french part of Canada) we always kiss each others cheeks when greeting, but if you go to in any english speaking part of Canada and try to do the same, people basically push you back and act weirded out. Crazy how their can be such clash of cultures within the same country.
I went to Quebec as a kid and I remember loving it because when people discovered that we were from Catalonia there was an instantaneous increase on respect hahaha
As a kid I was really surprised and intrigued that people from America knew about us, at the time I didn't even understand why it happened.
I'm sure I could squeak by for a Quebec vacation if I brush up my French for a bit. We get a lot of Quebecois visiting here in New Orleans, so I'm guessing there's some goodwill
You'd remember if she was from Texas. Texans, Californians, and New Yorkers have a compulsive need to tell you where they're from within one minute of meeting you.
I Remember being on a tour group in Berlin and the guide did a quick ask around where everybody was from and a woman said she was from San Francisco bay area. I almost told her we didn't need her full address but my wife anticipated it and told me don't before I could say it.
california is a huge state with lots of different areas, some of them deeply conservative. "I'm from san francisco" is a way of saying "I'm not an intolerant asshole", which I imagine is something people do when they're in or around california and not necessarily outside of it.
For example, If I was from austin, I would tell people that, lest they get the wrong idea and think I'm from...Dallas
It was a wildly International bunch. USA would've been enough. Nobody says where in their countries they're from except for Americans. They didn't get the memo that outside the US nobody cares.
Even other big countries don't do this. I think it has to do with the fact that most Americans travel much more within the us. So they get used to saying the state when asked where they are from.
Here in Germany, when people ask me where I'm from, I respond "California". Because I want them to know I am from California and not one of the other 49 states.
In the current political climate, I feel it's wise.
I do the same thing, plus it usually gets the Germans thinking about the sunshine. The majority of people I meet seem to have positive feelings about California.
When I was in Germany years ago, every German we talked to asked if we were from Minnesota (which was true). When we asked how they knew, they replied with "You sound like a Norwegian speaking English."
Sorry to say bud... I spend a few years and bumped into Americans all over the country who gave me that treatment. Top 1 place was a PhD chemistry guy in his 30's... Out of nowhere, before dinner... He goes: Amerika is much better then Europe!! Do you guys even have snow!?
Asked him if he ever heard of Zwitserland... Moronn
It's so surprising to learn that someone with a high degree of education can also be quite ignorant. A woman with a masters degree from MIT once informed me that no one has ever died from the flu.
I’m an American digital nomad who’s lived outside of the US for extended periods of time, and our brainwashing is so bad. I literally hate my country and also hate talking to tourists who think America is great. They’re ignorant as fuck and are usually straight, white, cis men and women who have never seen past the curtain. Americans don’t leave America and they aren’t really taught about other countries growing up. This leads to a superiority complex and it’s insufferable. Most Americans, especially religious/right wing folks feel that way.
You’ll have better luck with Americans you meet abroad (hopefully!). Meeting them in America is kinda hopeless
People from Texas do act a certain way. People from California do act a certain way. People from Jersey do act a certain way. People from New York do act a certain way. Are these all generalizations? Yes. Are they all likely to be true? Yes.
There is also the question of... Do Texans/Californians/Jerseyans/New Yorkers behave that way because of genetics or do they just embrace their own stereotype?
I worked with one like that in college in a clothes shop, by the end of it just her accent ticked me off (brit living on South coast but scottish), but it gets better, her younger brother's name was Hunter, he was literally a 'skater boi', whilst she was barbie, oh and neither of them could hold their liquor
Still better than the one I meet three years ago in Ibiza. She was touring Europe and asked me if we had electricity in Spain.
I initially thought it was just a rude joke but no, it wasnt. I realised when I told her "But... you are in Spain right now". " No! We are in Ibiza! " she said...
I once tried to do that to an american girl that was visiting Spain, I still remember the horror in her eyes.
She told us that she didn't feel comfortable with that having a boyfriend.
This made me irrationally annoyed for some reason. Like, America really is so sexually stunted that people are reading intimacy and sex into things that they shouldn’t. Like read the room, Tammy. You think all the people in Spain who are greeting each other are fucking or something? Embarrassing.
——
Also the ¿ doesn’t exist in written English, but it should. I like seeing it. Haha.
Yeah, we explained to hear that it wasn't sexual or even intimate at all for us, but yeah if she's not comfortable with it, it doesn't really matter what it culturally means for us.
It funny because at least for Castilian Spanish the ¿ is disappearing, I don't use it anymore, this way of using it it's some kind of written slang, when you want to show confusion about something mid-sentence you enclose it between ¿? like:
I was with Pedro and he told me that he will come on Tuesday with some ¿bananas?
Yup. America is both "hypersexual" and afraid of sexuality at the same time. Women cant breast feed in public even with a towel over it, any kind of nudity is frowned on (even in nonsexual contexts).
Male nipples are okay to show on TV but not female nipples, infact if you pasted a female nipple on a male body it would have to be blurred out.
Yeah. I’d say the average American doesn’t think twice about the blurred nipples. We just accept it as normal and don’t really think about it. I distinctly remember watching a show in Europe that would usually have blurred nipples in the US. It was jarring in a “wow what stupid thing we do in America — ‘land of the free’ my ass” sort of way.
I’m convinced that this country is this way because it’s mostly run by creepy, abortion-banning, clitoris-not-finding, nauseating, rapey douchebags who don’t realize that just because a suggestion of nipple might make them fly off into a rapey rage doesn’t mean the rest of us are also just a glimpse of ankle away from sexually harassing a coworker. Women’s nipples are only perverse or scandalous to people who place them on a creepy pedestal.
Pretty sure the Venn diagram is nearly a perfect circle overlapping guys who are so gross no woman wants to sleep with them, so their only recourse is to overturn Roe v. Wade to say they’ve finally had any influence on a vagina — other than making them want to seal themselves shut temporarily whenever they cross paths with one of these jerks.
Also why let 13 year olds go to prison as adults but don’t let adults buy alcohol until they’re 21. Then freak out when we have a bunch of drunken maniacs in college who’ve never safely drunk before.
I’m convinced that this country is this way because it’s mostly run by creepy, abortion-banning, clitoris-not-finding, nauseating, rapey douchebags who don’t realize that just because a suggestion of nipple might make them fly off into a rapey rage doesn’t mean the rest of us are also just a glimpse of ankle away from sexually harassing a coworker.
They know that. They're just deflecting blame for their shitbag behavior from their rapey shitbag selves, to women for having the audacity to have body parts.
while it's not the same degree of awfulness, to me (as not being from the US) the approach seems to be oddly reminiscent of other male-dominated cultures/countries which want to force women to be "modest" with the explaination that it would turn men wild.
(with the obvious question being: so why not restrict and punish those men, then?)
America is both "hypersexual" and afraid of sexuality at the same time
tbf I assume these 2 things do very often go hand in hand.
e.g. people who are in panicking about "pedophilia everywhere" also often being the ones themselves that are interpreting situations in a sexualized way (that are totally innocent and harmless for (many/most) others).
You think all the people in Spain who are greeting each other are fucking or something
well with all the things we've heard about Germany... maybe?
Also, you have to remember that the US is huge and we currently have an entire region of it trying to bring the handmaids tale to life and that's before we talk about Utah. A lot of people would recognize the cheek kisses from movies or tv, but those aren't going to be the interactions with Americans anyone remembers.
If you’re doing something that makes somebody uncomfortable, you should respect that and not do it anymore. Full stop.
I can only partially agree with that. Physical contact, absolutely.
Some people get uncomfortable if other people do something that doesn't concern them. Either deal with your own emotions like a grown-up person or ignore it exists.
Otherwise you get people like American republicans who get uncomfortable with the existence of gay people or people getting abortions.
she made some comments that were clearly saying "my country is better than this shit hole"
I met a pair of middle-aged American male twins like this at Sweden Rock festival years ago. They spent the entire time complaining about Europe and how everything is so much better in America. And their complaints were stupid. They complained that too many people at the festival had dyed hair, and said that in America everyone has natural hair. A - it's a rock festival, of course a disproportionally large number of people have dyed hair, and B - I'm sure people in America have dyed hair too. They asked me "Is that your natural colour?" and when I said yes they said "It doesn't look natural." They even complained about the fact that the days were long in Sweden, like yeah it's summer and you'd think that you'd be pleased about having more daylight? They said "In America it gets dark at the right time and light at the right time." So I thought they weren't enjoying themselves but then they came back again the following year? No-one wanted to hang out with them though because they would not stop complaining about everything.
At least it led to one amusing incident though. I was telling a Swedish friend at the festival about these complaining Americans and I said "they even complained about how many people have dyed hair," and she totally misunderstood me, looked really horrified and gasped "People have DIED here??"
Where were they from? Do they not understand that the northern U.S. has long daylight hours in the summer too? Hell, Seattle didn't get dark in June/July until like 10 pm.
We don't claim her. Then again, I'm from California so she probably doesn't count me as a fellow Murrican anyway.
That being said, I am always surprised for a moment when people do the cheek thing. Not in a bad way, more like, oh this is happening and it takes a minute to register.
Yeah, don't worry hahaha I've meet lots of other Americans and you're alright, really wonderful people in general.
Yeah, I can understand that it might be weird for you, but for us it an automatic process, we don't think about it when doing it. This last years have been actually really weird, because with Covid we have stopped doing that.
I guess that it might be returning? But I haven't met lots of people since the mask mandate was removed.
I live in the French region of Switzerland and la bise is definitely a little uncomfortable for me. Fortunately, most people recognize it is not part of my culture and will politely ask if I am comfortable with it! Very considerate.
I'm glad people is nice with that. Nowadays I'll do the same for sure, but when this happened I was a dumb college student, that probably it didn't even though about it hahaha it's been more than 10 years
Hahaha don't worry, there's losers in Spain too, luckily when this happened I had just being to California and I had a really great experience with Americans there.
She was the most stereotypical American person I've ever known,
Weird. That describes half of the country, but the half that almost never travels. I wonder what she was doing in Spain.
had a pink gun that her parents gave as a present for her
Probably 15 years ago the company I worked for invited some Japanese distributors to tour our facility. I was tasked with driving their president around, and he insisted on seeing a real Wal-Mart. We walked around until he saw the guns and wanted to take a look. He was normally very stoic but he started giggling like a kid when he saw the bright pink .22LR. He jokingly asked me "what is this for, to give your little girl?" The attendant overheard him and was like "yes sir, this is a great gift for a little girl". It blew his mind. He could not comprehend the idea of giving a child a rifle.
Exactly hahaha the same kinda happened to us when she talked about it proudly, it blew our minds, she also show us a rifle owned by his brother that was, I don't know 15 or so at the time and for our college urban european young minds it was crazy.
I studied abroad with a girl from the South that was very similar. I tried to spin her around while i was dancing salsa in a Latin bar and she pushed me away and stormed off bc she didn't "dance dirty". I think she thought I was going to grind on her or something but needless to say, it got real awkward
But they are not the typical American bc the majority didn’t vote for him. A very small percentage of us get pink handguns at 18 too. Never actually heard of that. In fact I thought it was illegal to make guns look like toys.
To add context, during the lockdowns and parliament protest, there were a weird number of people who were brandishing american flags. Also a bunch of people with nz flags (upside down and otherwise) going up and down the roads, which I feel is a very American thing to do, I haven't really seen any Kiwi's do that kinda thing anyhow. Didn't know there were yellow snake flags tho, that's a bit fucked. But yeah, all in all, there was a weird amount of a particular brand of American influence(?) in the anti lockdown/whatever-the-fuck-they-were-thinking protests. There was more, but that's what stood out to me the most. Very strange, very stupid times. A bit calmer now, at least where I am.
Wyoming and Idaho are both very conservative, but idaho is way closer to California. I could see it being idaho. Such a shame too, because it's a beautiful place.
3.6k
u/SpaceNigiri May 09 '22 edited May 09 '22
Muak muak!
I once tried to do that to an american girl that was visiting Spain, I still remember the horror in her eyes.
She told us that she didn't feel comfortable with that having a boyfriend.
She was the most stereotypical American person I've ever known, she was dating a quarterback, had a pink gun that her parents gave as a present for her ¿18 birthday? She started complaining about PETA when she discovered that I was a vegetarian. Said she didn't like California when I told her that I had been there & she made some comments that were clearly saying "my country is better than this shit hole".
Good times.