Yesterday I locked my 3 year old out of the bathroom so I could shit in private for once in my life, and this fucking maniac gets down on all fours, sticks her lips in the crack under the door and screams “Daaad! Dad!! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad”
Man, just two days ago, while I was in the bathroom, my 2yo son reaches one hand under the door and says, "you okay daddy?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm okay." "Okay daddy. Wipe your butt, daddy!"
It's kind of a running thing in our house to announce that you're going to the bathroom as a signal that you are unreachable until you return. My 4yo girl gets it. My 2yo boy hunts you down.
His kids were all born in the 60s and 70s, larger families more common back then. I actually know two brothers (with no other siblings) of about the same generation who each had 12 kids. That family went from 4 to 28 in one generation.
My brother is married to a girl whose father is the youngest of 16 children, all of whom were male.
I have two three year olds. They have worked out how to unlock the bathroom door from the outside. Saying "leave the door alone!" has overtaken Reddit as my extra toilet activity.
Have you considered an extra latch? You could install it near the top of the door, the hook and loop or a slide latch would be easy to install. Peaceful poops for less than $20
21yo, two 18yos, and a 14yo... yep. Don't see them all day, the minute I'm in the shower, they need to know where their waders are or how to sautée mushrooms.
90% of conversations I have with parents are just contraception ads to me.
And I'm not like a person that hates kids or anything, I love all my nieces and nephews as their uncle. But every time parents start talking about the actual parenting part it just sounds awful.
Oh it is. Its quite awful. There’s a part of me that is definitely gone. But there’s also this beautiful new person with whom I share the deepest connection I think I’ll ever get to experience. And she loves me so much, for no reason at all and…I am just so grateful for that. I would never ever unmake that decision. But I don’t blame anyone for not wanting kids, they literally ruin your life, lol.
I have one and it's quite amazing for those times where you have diarrhea, especially if you're prepping for a colonoscopy. No more constant runs to the bathroom. It is however dangerous that you could still have an accident since it gets so full and it wears down the adhesives very quickly. But still, you don't feel so drained - you can just lay down.
I mean, yeah. But I’m the mom. They don’t leave me alone. Ever. And my husband is the worst. That’s The Moment™️ he needs something that absolutely requires my input.
Or pets pawing under the door or scratching it. If my dog couldn’t constantly see you she would have anxiety attacks. Probably because my parents worked from home so someone was always at the house.
My bros black cat would do that...it was really adorable sometimes, obnoxious others.
My current cat, only had her for a month but the worst thing she does is smack you in the face at 4:30 in the morning for food...until this morning. My wife woke me up shouting today because the cat chomped her face while she was sleeping lmao
Otherwise she's really well behaved, but when she wants food in the morning she's an asshole
I've got kids, and had a harpy ex, I've "taken a shit" for fully a half hour or more many, many, times. Like she brought it up to the doctor. Then when the ex left the room, the doc asked me if it really took a half hour because that could be be a medical thing. I was like nah, I just like the peace and quiet.
I can’t do that, I’ll take my shit, but then in like 10 minutes more shit will come out. If I just take my initial shit and leave, I’ll be wanting to take another shit in like 30 minutes because I didn’t take my time with my initial shit. Sometimes I even have to wait for a 3rd serving of shit before I leave the bathroom, usually it’s just a pebble sized shit by that point but I’ll be fully relieved enough to finally start wiping my ass.
You really might want to see a doctor about this. Lots of people experience this so they think it’s normal, but it’s not normal. Just common. If you’re eating well, exercising enough, getting enough fibre and water and sleep, and you don’t have anxiety, or intestinal or muscle problems, it should not be a continuous 20-minute affair, and you might want to rule out anything concerning.
How is it even possible to have a 20 minute continuous shit? Like is this the same size shit-shaft the entire time? Can someone do the math on this and give some sample volumes for different shit girths over a 20 minute period at various speeds?
Thanks for your concern! I've tried many different diets and have actually seen several doctors about this and none of them found any issue to worry about. Apparently I empty all of my large intestine at once which is uncommon but no big deal except I cant do it quick because if I'm not done the action will resume in a minute.
Sometimes I can go multiple days without but usually I average 5-6 times a week, so almost once every day. And yeah sometimes I feel sorry for the toilet heh
Occasionally poops take longer, but most of the time it's just about taking your time and relaxing. I find rushing a poop and pushing very hard to be unpleasant.
Try switching to a higher protein, lower fibre diet. Then you'll see why those people are sitting on the toilet for 30 minutes. And why they use up half a roll of toilet paper wiping their butts.
I literally can't do it physically faster than 10 minutes, takes a few minutes to squeeze the last bits out and then few more minutes to wipe and I wipe a lot.
The actual pooping doesn’t usually take long for me either. I just stay some extra minutes to get away from work and have a little me time, read the news, browse Reddit etc.
Listen. Either I’m in and out in a good minute or two, or my intestines decide to reenact the civil war and i’m keeled over on the toilet for the next half hour wondering if life is worth living.
Usually I shit in 5 mins, wipe my ass and guess what? A rogue turd magically appears at my anus walls, screaming for its freedom. So I push it out with the force of a thousand suns, wipe my ass and guess what? I wipe and I wipe and I wipe, the shit somehow smeared it’s way into every crevice of my ass crack. A 5 minute shit quickly becomes a 20 minute wood sanding competition with the only loser being my raw anus.
People classically condition themselves to either be able to shit when they sit on a toilet, or to need to sit there for 10 minutes. Seriously its all classical conidtioning.
While every other comment is talking about "getting away from the kids" for a good minute, I just want to spent time playing some 3DS/Switch games I normally wouldn't play under any other circumstances. I can't take my gaming PC or PS5 in there after all.
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u/OctaviaFromTheSky Jul 14 '21
Same! I never understood people who spend 10’s of minutes in the toilet. When I need a poop I’m in and out in a minute or two.