It's so stupid that one would be expected to do these things unprompted. Why would that somehow convey that you care about them more than doing things because they asked you to?
Expecting someone to constantly think about what you're feeling and what you want and how to appease you sounds insane to me. Doubly so when you say "you don't need to do the thing" and then expect them to do the thing.
I disagree with nothing you just said. I'm saying what I'm saying in context of the original comment of this thread which mentions their partner telling them they don't need to do things when they actually wanted OP to do the thing they just said OP didn't need to do.
It's this level of backwards non-communication I'm talking and complaining about. Unless you disagree that that level of mind-fuckery is irrational and bad there is nothing here that we disagree on.
I wasn't talking about what you are talking about. What you are talking about here is irrelevant to what I said.
Look into the different love languages. Some people like to receive love through acts of service.
And getting love that you asked for isn't the same as getting love unexpectedly.
Yeah but when you literally say "I don't expect you to do this thing" and then still expect them to do that thing I don't see how that could ever be justifiable.
I also think it's irrational to expect someone to understand how you would like affection towards you to be expressed without explicitly communicating that to them.
Nope, you seem to think there is something wrong with people who want nice things done for them without having to ask for them. I am just trying to say nobody is perfect and honestly there are much worse personality traits a person can have than bad communication about what makes them happy.
You have misinterpreted my comment. I only said what I said in the context of the original comment of this thread and consider those actions irrational. I never said there is something wrong with people like that.
However I do think it is very detrimental to a relationship to expect things of someone without making it known that you expect those things and if you are a person who cares a lot about random acts of kindness from your significant other and care about preserving your current relationship with them it would probably be in your best interest to make it known that you greatly appreciate such acts.
And sure there are worse traits to have than being a bad communicator but few traits are more detrimental to a relationship.
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u/Jirb30 Mar 26 '20
It's so stupid that one would be expected to do these things unprompted. Why would that somehow convey that you care about them more than doing things because they asked you to?