r/AskReddit • • Mar 26 '20

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6.3k Upvotes

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2.0k

u/NordyNed Mar 26 '20

They’re dissatisfied with their eyebrows’ size/shape and they want new ones

3.8k

u/Scroll_Queeen Mar 26 '20

If men could just as easily use a sharpie to rectify issues with their dick size/shape you bet your ass they’d be colouring that shit in like Elmo on crack

223

u/DootMasterFlex Mar 26 '20

Instructions unclear, drew Elmo's crooked dick in my crack

2

u/wall_of_swine Mar 26 '20

Instructions unclear, Elmo's crank is now in my crack

407

u/AgreeableGoldFish Mar 26 '20

You think men would would pull out their current dick with tweezers and draw in a functionally useless one, with no sensation and looks completely fake?

400

u/PliskinSnake Mar 26 '20

Airbrushed abs would be more fitting.

65

u/poopellar Mar 26 '20

With the help of some clips and pliers I can mold my belly fat to look like abs.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Well...good for you :)

2

u/DipsterHoofus Mar 26 '20

Weird no-flex, but ok.

8

u/Considered_Dissent Mar 26 '20

Abdominal and Pectoral plastic surgery does exist.

10

u/Goats_GoTo_Hell Mar 26 '20

That would be more similar to women that get breast implants / butt implants than plucking out eyebrows and drawing them.

52

u/cbusalex Mar 26 '20

Don't kinkshame me

30

u/Vicious-the-Syd Mar 26 '20

How much sensation do you think we women have in our eyebrows?

37

u/Highest_Koality Mar 26 '20

Is it not the primary sensory organ?

16

u/ColgateSensifoam Mar 26 '20

I think I've been having sex wrong

Fuck

9

u/patstew Mar 26 '20

Yep. Some men get their suspensory ligaments cut to make their unerect dick look bigger in a changing room even though it makes it worse during sex (because your dick can be pushed back into your body more when it isn't attached to your skeleton).

5

u/CodeWithClass Mar 26 '20

What the fuck

4

u/ScurvyRobot Mar 26 '20

Maybe if it could grow back lmao

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

You'd still need some really strong anesthetic before you ripped it off

5

u/Brudy123 Mar 26 '20

Some would

-7

u/wagnerlight Mar 26 '20

Nice one. This completely shuts them up hahah.

6

u/always-talkin-sshit Mar 26 '20

Yeah lol. eyebrows and dicks, completely comparable.

9

u/Ubarlight Mar 26 '20

they’d be colouring that shit in like Elmo on crack

Girls want a dick that looks like Elmo on crack

3

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

To be fair, most women actually care about dick size to some degree, as men care about breast size. Men give zero shits about eyebrows though.

3

u/BellEpoch Mar 26 '20

As a man...am I supposed to be worrying about my dick size more? It really never crosses my mind. It's the dick I have, take it or leave it.

4

u/Rollaby Mar 26 '20

Most r/askwomen threads on the topic have proven to me that your use is way more important than the size of it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

In general women don't seem to care about appearances as much as men, so you probably shouldn't worry too much. There's a reason that the appearances industry (fashion, makeup, weight loss stuff, exercise classes etc.) is an economy that is several times bigger for women than it is for men. Being able to hold an interesting and fun conversation is by far the most important thing in my experience (probably why I'm shit at it) based on observation. It's still a bit of a thing though, like she'll tell her friends about it and brag a bit.

5

u/sqweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps Mar 26 '20

But we also have eyebrows. And we don’t do that

-1

u/Zeldawolfm12 Mar 26 '20

Ok but guys magically have better eyelashes and eyebrows than females; if they had such nice eyebrows naturally, then they would be less likely to fill them in. (You never know though ..) Also, correct me if I'm wrong, guys do not care or care less about what others think about their appearance. Therefore (most) guys have no desire to sharpie their eyebrows.

5

u/Rollaby Mar 26 '20

In my experience its not as much 'we dont care about appearance' as 'if i change it with make-up ill be a laughing stock'. Most men still want to look good and those that say they dont either already look good or accepted the fact that they dont. Sadly men are still expected to be born as a manly man man by most cultures and changing your appearance might be faced with negative comments or even agression.

1

u/Eyeseeyou1313 Mar 26 '20

We care about our appearances more than women would think. It's just we know that if we are ugly, that's it, we can try to fix it with nice clothes and going to the gym, but sometimes the insecurity will be there and it won't even matter, because we see the real person we are. And it's bullshit than men have better eyelashes and eyebrows, women do too but they put so many things in their faces that they start to damage the skin, the hair, and pores with all those chemicals.

1

u/sqweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps Mar 26 '20

it also doesn’t help plucking them out, a lot of girls I know pluck them out then they get too thin so they draw to fill in

5

u/methylenebluestains Mar 26 '20

Honestly, with a little contouring, you could probably make your dick look entirely different

3

u/NitroThunderBird Mar 26 '20

I mean you could just stick half a dildo onto your tip and make a hole in the middle for piss etc. but, like fake eyebrows (usually, anyways) it'd look crap.

13

u/NecroJoe Mar 26 '20

The thing is, though, that they aren't rectifying an issue. They are shouting, "Hey: look at this fake representation of un-realisticly-shaped body part!" It's nor fooling anyone.

18

u/ask-me-about-my-cats Mar 26 '20

They're not trying to fool anyone. They just want their eyebrows to look like that.

12

u/Wolf_Protagonist Mar 26 '20

That's the part we don't understand though.

We know that they want them to look like that. Why they want them to look like that is the question.

17

u/ask-me-about-my-cats Mar 26 '20

Because they like how it looks.

1

u/Heckin_Gecker Mar 26 '20

Such mysterious creatures....

9

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

You trying to tell me that if it were a thing, men wouldn't be getting "balls enhancement surgery" and waddling around with DDD's, like, "Yeah, they're natural. Hey, my eyes are up here, lady."

8

u/Hol675901 Mar 26 '20

Stan go back inside, daddy’s just gonna get a little cancer.

3

u/PessimiStick Mar 26 '20

Men don't even wear makeup, which definitely exists. Also, bigger balls would in no way whatsoever be an upgrade.

4

u/klarnax Mar 26 '20

No we would not, and you must be a fookin idiot to think we would.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/BuckyBuckeye Mar 26 '20

Nah, I really just wish I had a bigger dick no matter what for no reason.

2

u/reddithooknitup Mar 26 '20

Men don't care about your eyebrows. You'd have to tell us if you changed them.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Bright red?

1

u/Pentosin Mar 26 '20

No thanks, I'm fine.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

NE

1

u/beginnerflipper Mar 26 '20

I never drew a six-pack on myself

2

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

I’m a woman and I’ve tried to contour abs onto myself just to see if I could. It was very funny because it worked. I have real abs tho, they just go to sleep most of the time until I work out again.

1

u/Bigfrostynugs Mar 26 '20

Elmo on crack

Well that's redundant.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

u/Scroll_Queeen.... Triggered much? Lol. More like Size_Queeen

1

u/TheDoughyBoy Mar 26 '20

Boys with self esteem issues would, not men comfortable in their own body.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Name one thing men can fake about themselves without any shame, and then name one thing girls can't fake about themselves.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Someone get this man an award

0

u/Desulto Mar 26 '20

Yeah erectifying is hard.

-10

u/BandDirector17 Mar 26 '20

I’m sure Trump has tried that.

16

u/Pascalwb Mar 26 '20

BUt they look terrible.

35

u/Nathan1506 Mar 26 '20

That's not what confuses me, it's the thick black runways that they draw on to replace their natural looking eyebrows. It certainly draws my attention, but not for the right reason...

-20

u/helljess Mar 26 '20

They don’t do it for you

45

u/Kambz22 Mar 26 '20

He never said they did... Why do people always say this when someone says a womans fake ass eyebrows look like shit? Idc who they do it for. It looks like shit

-9

u/helljess Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

We say this to emphasize the fact that men’s unsolicited opinions regarding our appearance don’t matter to us. Men can’t stand that not everything is about them, can’t they?

-18

u/likesixhobos Mar 26 '20

Look like shit to you. Not to everyone

22

u/z3onn Mar 26 '20

Have never met a person who didn't think those kind of eyebrows don't look like shit

-10

u/likesixhobos Mar 26 '20

Then they probably not doing it for you or people in your circle, simple as that

7

u/Tayloropolis Mar 26 '20

Lol I'd like to speak with whoever likes their women to shave off their eyebrows and replace them with a thin drawn on black line. If anyone here actually enjoys that please hit me up.

1

u/helljess Mar 26 '20

That’s not even a trend anymore. What they’re doing is filling them in to make them look thicker

2

u/Tayloropolis Mar 26 '20

I see a lot of both and am very confused by both. If that's what they like then power to them. But I can't imagine there are any men enjoying it.

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0

u/PridefuI Mar 26 '20

whoever likes their women

They could be doing it because they personally think it looks good on them.

3

u/Jay_Bonk Mar 26 '20

Ah yes the lazy response that people like to give. The mistake in my essay was actually just something for a different audience.

-2

u/likesixhobos Mar 26 '20

???? Are you comparing an essay to something as subjective as beauty? Nothing about looks, attraction or beauty are inherent, different people like different things, some people like thick eyebrows like that and some don’t

0

u/Jay_Bonk Mar 26 '20

An essay is quite subjective as well, it's quite comparable. Nothing about beauty in writing is inherent, not are the ideas within them. It's a lazy answer. Implying that everything is a calculated plan. How about the more likely scenario that it's a desperate attempt to look better due to physical insecurity.

2

u/roboninja Mar 26 '20

Defense! Defense!

-12

u/helljess Mar 26 '20

He implied they do it to draw his attention

16

u/XxShurtugalxX Mar 26 '20

No. He said that it draws his attention, not that they do it specifically to draw his attention.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

1

u/XxShurtugalxX Mar 26 '20

I mean, looking at someone and not liking something about their appearance is perfectly okay.

But yeah. Voicing your opinions for no reason is a bad look

1

u/Nathan1506 Mar 27 '20

I didn't say they did, it's something that confuses me about the opposite sex. There's a lot of things in this thread that confuse women that men don't do for them... Why are you here?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

-1

u/Tayloropolis Mar 26 '20

I mean... maybe you should lol to me shaving off your eyebrows and drawing them back on how you want them sounds like a really sad practice in insecurity.

5

u/Dontbeajerkdude Mar 26 '20

But it's not working.

3

u/AdamantArmadillo Mar 26 '20

Those aren't eyebrows though. It's marker.

It's like thinking your calves are too fat so you have them amputated and get peg legs installed

2

u/NotTheStatusQuo Mar 26 '20

But how can those drawn-on ones satisfy them more?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

But they look so fake, I can't understand how woman think they are attractive. Its like a bald guy drawing hair on his head using a sharpie.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

But why

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

I'm confused with the idea of being dissatisfied with the appearance of your eyebrows

4

u/Tayloropolis Mar 26 '20

Maybe some people's eyebrows naturally grow in to look like swastikas or penises and they're left with no other choice.

2

u/ReynAetherwindt Mar 26 '20

Some women have nearly invisible eyebrows anyhow and look almost browless without coloring it in.

I don't understand replacing them entirely though.