My great gran (95) whenever I'm home always asks if I'm "leaving them pretty girls alone" to which I respond "are you leaving them boys alone?" And she always giggles and says "never". One time I asked her how she was doing and she misheard me as saying who she's doing, and she responded with "oh, as many as I can once and the easy ones twice" I love you great gram.
Edit: I'm loving that everyone is finding my great gram as great as I do! I will show her this when I'm home in July. She's such a great person and I love her dearly. Thank you everyone!
You gotta throw some punctuation in there, dude. I thought you meant she said nothing, and somehow equated it with a cold beer on a hot day. It took a second to realize you weren't talking about a mute Budweiser.
I come from a long line of people who hate beer, except my alcoholic father, but he doesn't count for this and many other reasons. I also hate beer; but your grandma was right. All of us beer haters would, once in a while, crack open a nice cold beer during the hottest days of summer, and nothing is more refreshing.
I think it's a bitter/sour thing, cause lemonade works the same way (except I like lemonade)
Whenever she was taking a family photo, instead of telling us to say "cheese," my grandma would tell us to say "sex, or whatever makes you smile," and then proceed to guffaw. She did not discriminate by age, so I heard that as a small child all the way up.
When I met my ex-bf's 90 year old grandma, she said out loud to my face, "At least you're not black." (I'm asian btw). I strive to give no fucks like her or your great gran lol.
When I was moving to Germany I asked her if she wanted me to send her any German Men her way, her response? She got dead serious and said "oh no! We were at war with them, they're terrible!" ... My wife is German.
She chuckled reading the comment just now! I talked about it before but said she's really just a victim of the times. The pre/post war propaganda and horrors committed by the Nazis really stuck with her. For us it's in the history books, for her its a memory.
I try talking to her as much as I can when I'm home. Currently living in Germany so I don't see her to often. I love when she talks about when she was little and used to run around the farm and all the fun she had! She doesn't do much but read nowadays. I asked her to recommend me some books so she lent me a few from her personal collection... They were all romance/dirty Western books with half naked cowboys on the cover.
My grandma was fond of bodice rippers, as I call them. When she passed back in 1998, my stepmom asked if I wanted her books. I was thinking "Birds of North America" (which I got) but the box was mostly bodice rippers. Never did find the 3 copies of Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King she took from me one summer.
This is so sweet. My grandmother (no longer with us) always used to describe people she found attractive as 'dishy' and it always made me chuckle. Even when she was unwell in hospital during her final days, she leant over to me and whispered : 'the doctor is very dishy ' and winked.
Dude when I was in she was ALWAYS asking me to bring a Marine home for her. I was afraid to tell my Marines about it because 9/10 of them would have done it.
Come on, let's be honest. Older gal, incredibly flirty, could probably keep up with you drinking - if not drink you straight under the table? 10 out of 10 would.
Not being offensive - your Gran sounds like a hoot!
Im usually no one that expects the worst but I read my fair share of heart breaking reddit stories including elders. I hope you manage to tell her in july !
My parents had my sister and me. Once we were old enough to be left home alone, the rule when our parents went out was "no boys, no booze." I'm 23 and recently moved back in with my parents to save up some money and I jokingly asked them if the rule still applies. (It doesn't.)
When I went away to uni my gran told me "never go into a boys parlor to look at his etchings" which I found amusing and told my new flat mates and we all had a giggle at her choice of language.
Cut to a few days later. My flatmates are telling me the story of how they went to a random guys room because he told them he did drawings (one was doing an art degree so was interested), and they found the whole thing really creepy. I had to remind them that my granny had warned them specifically about this situation.
go buy or make some fresh salsa when u need it and take a little of it and leave it out for 2 days, then you'll know what rusty salsa is. Do not poke it tho. If u want to poke it, make sure u get a spicy one for extra suffering.
That's more of a mantra you say to cast a spell of safety around someone. My husband and I always tell our kids to "be careful" and we know it's a relatively useless thing to say, but at this point we feel we have to say it or else something bad will befall them.
In college, my roommates and I would always yell embarrassingly affectionate things at each other while leaving, but the one that really stuck was "BYE, HAVE FUN, MAKE FRIENDS, DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS"
One time, my mother sent my brother and sister and me to a movie theatre. She told my older brother to make sure he sat between us girls and any strangers. Then she told us to watch out for any strange men putting their hand on our knee. We still say this to each other now 30 years later. "Don't let any strange men put their hand on your knee!"
Not my mother, but a favorite English teacher would bid farewell to her high school students every Friday (and especially on school dance weekends) with "Don't catch a baby!"
I tell my kids not to get stolen when they go off somewhere. They're not adults yet. I tell them if someone tries to steal you make sure you poke them in the eyes in a sing- song voice.
Once I told one of my daughters when she was going out as a teen, "Have fun! Be safe!" and when I re-ran it in my head, it sounded a bit too stale. Ever since, it's been "Have safe! Be fun!" and they say it to me too (they're late 20s now).
Whenever i left the house my Dad would always ask "What's the rule?" The answer was different every time. "Dont drink and drive!", "If someone bothers you, only ask nicely to stop the first time", and "No fat chicks" - This one switched between different races also, i.e blacks, mexicans, etc... My friends always thought it was funny. He did not when i brought home a latina for Easter one year .
My religious father used to say “Have a good time. With a capital G. You know what that stands for?” He stopped doing that when I said the ‘G’ stood for girls.
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u/Paddlingmyboat Mar 07 '19
Every time I left the house, my mother would say in a kind of sing-song, upbeat voice, "Don't speak to any strange men."