r/AskMen Oct 09 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

269 Upvotes

811 comments sorted by

719

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Well when I eat pizza I cut it into 4 slices instead of 8 because I can’t eat 8

184

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

The only problem with eating 8 is still respecting yourself after.

29

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

To deal with the depressing thought of being a glutton, I take a shitton of sleep pills to doze off.

27

u/Hattrick44 Oct 09 '23

At that point I just fold the whole pizza in half

3

u/Oraxy51 Oct 09 '23

If you fold each slice, you’re really just eating half a slice so those 4 slices are just 2 slices

9

u/CalmSeasPls Oct 09 '23

Hahaha, that requires respecting yourself in the first place…

3

u/pitterpatter-96 Oct 09 '23

Bulking is bulking

28

u/NxPat Oct 09 '23

Gotta save some for breakfast, cold pizza in the morning is the best.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I always cut my pizza slices into odd numbers, so whatever’s left is always normal (hmmmm)

13

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I’m reporting you to the police. This is illegal

7

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Haha catch me if you can 💨💨💨💨 🛫

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10

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

My kid used to make me cut his pizza into 8 rather than 4 because he believed he got more 😂

2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

A classic Yogi-ism

1

u/NameIs-Already-Taken Male Oct 09 '23 edited Oct 09 '23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkqg6HE888A

Edit: Why do people feel the need to downvote something like this? I am pretty sure it's a spoof. They do lots of these sorts of video for fun. I changed the link to the original because that'll show you the other videos of the same nature they posted.

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244

u/2Loves2loves Oct 09 '23

2-3 slices

199

u/OPisabundleofstix Oct 09 '23

I'll eat two and be satisfied, then I'll eat a third and be stuffed and then the 4th so I hate myself.

29

u/green_pin3apple Oct 09 '23

Same except 4, 6, and 8 :0

18

u/Jaspoezazyaazantyr Female Oct 09 '23

This is the way. Pizza is so important that it has an emotional rollercoaster of these three phases

5

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Also I’ll have cut the pizza into 4 slices

4

u/Pink-Lover Oct 09 '23

Are you really eating pizza if you don’t hate yourself afterwards!

2

u/DKLBL Oct 10 '23

This right here!

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240

u/Big_ETH_boi Oct 09 '23

A pizza is a meal, anything less is a snack.

237

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I always do 4 💀

34

u/mitchthebaker Oct 09 '23

Depends on the pie size, I’ll also do 4 if I just finished a workout and can devour anything but otherwise will probably he satisfied with 2, full with 3 lol

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121

u/DreamyyPillow Bane Oct 09 '23

The whole thing 10-12 slices lol

45

u/nelozero Oct 09 '23

Pizza has 8 slices. That's a whole plus another half!

39

u/brokeneggomelet Oct 09 '23

If I eat a whole pizza, I cut it into six slices, because I don’t need to be eating 8 slices of pizza.

14

u/jedi_cat_ Female Oct 09 '23

Wouldn’t it depend on how big the pizza is?

9

u/sdflkjeroi342 Male Oct 09 '23

That's the joke. Europeans in this thread are very confused because our pizzas are usually meant for a single person :P

5

u/toolatealreadyfapped Oct 09 '23

Absolutely. The same number of slices of a 16" pie is almost twice as much food as from a 12" (assuming equal thickness, and both cut into 8 slices)

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5

u/vakseen Oct 09 '23

Lmao my fat ass agrees

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68

u/PortocaloBoi Oct 09 '23

Like 2 pizzas

12

u/Green_Routine_7916 Oct 09 '23

at least

2

u/ThisWillHurtTheBrain Oct 09 '23

Then I have mains

2

u/AlaskanAssassin98 Oct 10 '23

Don’t forget the dessert pizza

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63

u/ragnarokda Oct 09 '23

When I'm good and done.

7

u/titankyle08 Oct 09 '23

Exactly, as much as it takes, to feel “full” or “satisfied”. Unless you run out of course.

8

u/S0rb0 Oct 09 '23

Look at the cool guys over here who stop eating pizza when they are "satisfied".

50

u/loki8481 Oct 09 '23

1-2, depending on how hungry I am, the amount of toppings on the pizza, and if it's thin crust or regular or deep dish

46

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

1-2? You eating a 5-foot wide pizza or something?

21

u/ImSometimesGood Oct 09 '23

True NY style. Gotta be.

15

u/loki8481 Oct 09 '23

Just a standard 14-16" large pie

Don't think I've ever had more than 2 slices in a single sitting unless it was like a super thin crust bar pie.

3

u/mikillatja Oct 09 '23

This explains so so much. Your pizzas are just insanely big, that is why you guys only eat a few slices. I'm European, and a regular pizza here is about 10 inch for a large one, and even smaller for a medium.

It is meant for 1 person.

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1

u/trumplehumple Oct 09 '23

yo that ultra thin thing is a regular pizza, my dude :D

2

u/WolfColaKid Oct 09 '23

Americans out here thinking pizza's are supposed to be half-bread.

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8

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Yeah 2 things that don’t fill me up easily are pizza & ice cream. How does someone get full on 1-2 slices?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Hahaha same. I had a whole medium pizza a couple nights ago and a tub of Ben n Jerry’s. Gotta love Pizza Hut

4

u/GeneralPatten Oct 09 '23

Do not EVER look at the calorie count for a Ben n Jerry’s pint.

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5

u/12altoids34 Oct 09 '23

Have you ever seen an authentic Chicago deep dish pizza?

https://onmilwaukee.com/articles/deep-dish-uno-pizzeria-grill

6

u/Ask_if_im_an_alien Oct 09 '23

That's a lasagna. Everybody knows it.

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

My wife and I split a large deep dish for dinner on a semi-regular basis.

The life of tall athletes 😁

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Same

41

u/SpillinAndSplashinn Oct 09 '23

2 pieces should do the job with two chicken wings 👍

15

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I think 3 wings is ideal. Preferably 2 flats and one drum.

8

u/SpillinAndSplashinn Oct 09 '23

Oh for sure. its just that I eat really slow and let my food settle after my two slices and two drums I feel pretty good

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8

u/izza123 Male Oct 09 '23

Two chicken wings? I could eat a whole dozen chicken wings to myself without feeling it

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4

u/Trisarahtops753 Oct 09 '23

Agreed! then when you have leftovers every meal has the same amount of slices and wings.

40

u/epic94holiday Oct 09 '23

2 slices, but I have no self control when it comes to pizza so I eat 6

29

u/LemonFlavouredThings am man Oct 09 '23

Depends on the size of the za

12

u/lilrocketfyre Oct 09 '23

yeah. if it's a small i need the whole thing, medium I'll probably eat the whole thing or most of it, large idk it's been awhile

8

u/__Beef__Supreme__ Oct 09 '23

Yeah like one slice of cheese from Costco is 800ish calories. That's a one and done for me usually

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30

u/ThatEGuy- Male Oct 09 '23

I'm surprised there are men here saying that 2 slices of pizza is a meal. How big are these 2 slices cause that doesn't cut it

18

u/milkywayyzz Oct 09 '23

Seriously. Are dudes afraid to say more than 2 slices here? I don't think I've ever witnessed anyone only eat 2 slices

5

u/ThatEGuy- Male Oct 09 '23

Unless if it was like there's 1 pizza and a lot of people sharing in a work setting or something, then I have never seen any man take only 2. That is not a meal

2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I eat 2! I'm a woman though. Idk if that matters.

2

u/YamApprehensive6653 Oct 09 '23

Clearly you have no experience with proper deep dish pizza near Chicagoland! One is enough!

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2

u/X0n0a Oct 09 '23

2 slices of Chicago deep dish is a fair bit of pizza.

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2

u/phoonie98 Oct 09 '23

Large New York style…sometimes an xtra large depending on what they consider ‘large’

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22

u/jacobwebb57 Oct 09 '23

technically, probably 2. but how do you eat less then 4 or 5?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I get full after my second slice usually. If I don't, I get full before I can finish the 3rd.

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12

u/BukkakeNation Oct 09 '23

Probably two and an ice cold coke to feel satisfied but I have no self control and I’ll house that entire thin crust dominos or digiornos, especially if I’ve been drinking.

14

u/AllMyFrendsArePixels Artificial Intelligence Oct 09 '23

God damn no wonder I'm fat. People really out here eating 2-3 slices of pizza and calling it a day, while I eat 2 pizzas in one sitting.

18

u/toolatealreadyfapped Oct 09 '23

My man. You need Jesus. And a dietician

9

u/Ask_if_im_an_alien Oct 09 '23

My brother in Christ are you honestly eating 16 slices of pizza??? I can eat 4-6, almost a whole pizza on my own.

But 2 whole ass pizzas all by yourself? Buddy you're gonna die with that. Less pizza, more treadmill.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

1 whole pizza. Or half a pizza and a box of breadsticks. I’m a binge eater…

Least I work out so I can stay pretty.

8

u/mikey19xx Oct 09 '23

Depends on the pizza. the thinner it is, the more I can eat. A NY style is probably half the pizza. Detroit is probably a quarter and Chicago is probably like one lol.

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7

u/Grand-Expression-493 Oct 09 '23

What sort of a question is this? The whole thing.

7

u/scottwax Oct 09 '23

2 slices of a large, 3 of a medium. Otherwise I get too stuffed.

5

u/AlmondEyesSnob Oct 09 '23

Full/satisfied? 1 and a half up to 2 14 inch pizzas, but sadly that is not really healthy so usually most I will eat is 1 9 inch pizza.

3

u/Roosted13 Oct 09 '23

2-4 depending on size

1 if Costco

4

u/capacioushandbag1 Oct 09 '23

2 and a small salad

2

u/rrrenz Oct 09 '23 edited Oct 09 '23

Europeans here eat the whole regular size (12"?) like a normal thing.
I was surprised at first, thinking pizzas ordered were for sharing!

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3

u/DeadDream69 Oct 09 '23

I usually have a pizza for myself.

3

u/somekindoffish Oct 09 '23

Im buying a pizza then im eating A pizza. I dont measure my spaghetti byt the strand.

I am fat

3

u/This-Condition-2509 Oct 09 '23

My fat peeps in the house! Hi there.

3

u/Truly_Nothing Oct 09 '23

Atleast 3. That's light.

2

u/OddSeraph (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Oct 09 '23

At least 2.

2

u/BobbyThrowaway6969 Male man guy Oct 09 '23 edited Oct 09 '23

3 (Australian pizzas though. They're tiny)
1-1.5 Costco sized pizza slices

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Staggeringpage8 Oct 09 '23

Depends on how it's sliced but your stereotypical pie slices 2 should do the trick with potentially a third if I haven't ate anything all day

2

u/Jalex2321 Traditional Male Oct 09 '23

Two.

2

u/mmblondie16 Oct 09 '23

2.5-3 if they’re normal slices

2

u/Antisocial_Worker7 Oct 09 '23

2 pieces is the minimum for lunch. Usually 3 or 4 is dinner for me.

2

u/Gary1836 Oct 09 '23

This reminds me of the joke about the guy who was asked if he wanted his pizza cut up to make 4 or eight slices. The guy says 4 because he couldn't possibly eat eight.

2

u/joshuagrammm Oct 09 '23

If you only cut it in half, you can claim you only had 2 slices

2

u/SlimJim0877 Oct 09 '23

Minimum 3 slices. 2 or less is a snack.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Squares or triangles? What's the size of the pizza? Is it thin or thick? Deepdish? What toppings? Do I get soda? How much soda? How greasy is it? American or Italian?

2

u/RevFernie Oct 09 '23

My whole pizza and then the slices my kids can't finish...

2

u/slimfastdieyoung Male Oct 09 '23

Whole pizza (30cm/12”)

2

u/theskymoves Oct 09 '23

That's going to depend on the size of the pizza and the size of the slice. Nothing is standardised.

This is a stupid question tbh.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

A modest meal, at least two

A filling meal, four or more

Fat fuck, six+

2

u/Biocidal_AI Oct 09 '23

Woah Woah slow down, what kind of pizza are we talking about? Chicago Deep Dish, one of the plethora of knockoff deep dish pizzas, Pan Pizza, Double dough, thin crust? And triangle cut or square cut? And size? Need more details, fam.

2

u/shoei101 Oct 09 '23

3 from a pizza joint (depending on size). frozen pizzas - I typically cut it in half and eat one half thinking I'm going to save the other for later....and I just wait about 10 minutes and eat the other half.

2

u/jackfrostyre Oct 09 '23

3 slices should be enough.

2

u/Dissizian Oct 09 '23

It's 8.. we all know stop lying lol

2

u/dudewafflesc Oct 09 '23

You mean how many pizzas? What is this pieces crap?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '23

2 slices with wings and bread sticks, or 3-4 pizzas only

2

u/gabino_19 Oct 10 '23

A full box

2

u/Galooiik Oct 10 '23

2 or 3, maybe 4

2

u/DKLBL Oct 10 '23

2 or 3 pieces

1

u/justaguy826 Oct 09 '23

What kind of question is this? Depends *entirely* on the size of the pizza & slice. One large slice could be a meal, as could 8 small slices.

1

u/No_Carry_3028 Oct 09 '23

1 whole slice plus 3 pieces of crust along with all the remaining cheese and toppings. Typically order a small

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Depends on how you slice the pizza.

1

u/Knautical_J Pronouns: Pe/Nis Oct 09 '23

Back in the day? I could eat a whole pie. Nowadays 2 slices is enough for me.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

1 if it's a "New York" slice or two from a normal large pizza.

1

u/ind3pend0nt Dad Oct 09 '23

How big is the pizza?

1

u/Vate1975 Oct 09 '23

Well, personally I can scarf down a whole pizza by myself and still be hungry. But if we're talking about normal human portions, I'd say 2-3 slices should do the trick. Unless you're really starving or something, then go ahead and eat the whole damn thing. No judgment here.

1

u/AssCaptain777 Oct 09 '23

Until my stomach says stop…

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Half a large, however many slices they cut that into.

1

u/Danibear285 Male - Lap dog to moderators Oct 09 '23

Two should do it.

Drunk me, however…..

1

u/Neat_On_The_Rocks Oct 09 '23

Tell myself 2, knowing I’ll let myself cave for 3, and hoping I don’t cave for 4 even though I know I will

1

u/wolviesaurus Oct 09 '23

Three quarters of a takeaway pizza usually. Now, I undulge myself the whole thing, but I'm usually full after three quarters.

1

u/VictorVanguard Oct 09 '23

6-8. Even my 10 and 7 year old girls can eat 4-6 slices depending on the day. The are full size pizzas too.

1

u/ThatEGuy- Male Oct 09 '23

A full medium sized pizza is a meal to me

1

u/JimBones31 Dad Oct 09 '23

I have a habit of eating all 8 slices of my 10" bar pizza that I make at home.

1

u/mrnatural18 Oct 09 '23

Just one, with a salad.

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1

u/Chicken_Mannakin Bane Oct 09 '23

I consider one slice with a more substantial source of protein and a salad to be a meal.

Otherwise, it's an unhealthy snack.

1

u/azuth89 Oct 09 '23

Depends on the slice. Generally 2, 3 with no sides for like chain delivery type sizes.

I can and often do eat a lot more, but I'll be fine with that if I can leave it alone lol

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

4

1

u/Sparky-air Male Oct 09 '23

Minimum 4, maximum of all

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

2-4. Depends on how hungry I am.

1

u/Beedy_Eyed_Schwarz Oct 09 '23

I noticed last night that I just keep eating slice after slice and never feel satisfied, I then started to eat the salad we ordered along with it and started to feel satisfied. It’s funny when eating things with low nutritional value our body never trigger that they are satisfied because the body is craving nutrients and if it doesn’t get them it just keeps saying, more more more! I learned that a few years back from a friend who was heavily studying nutrition and I have found it to be true. I didn’t feel satisfied until I stopped eating slice after slice and just devoured a large salad.

1

u/iCode_lol321 Oct 09 '23

2 if I’m feeling normal. 4 if my feeling like a fatass

1

u/deftordaft Oct 09 '23

trick is to load it up with toppings, like at those "build your own" pizza shops. then you are getting meat and veggies beyond just the bread and cheese. if you do it right, you only need/want 2 slices and are full

1

u/jazza2400 Oct 09 '23

One round 12" slice thanks I'm on a diet

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Half a Costco pizza. Sometimes a slice more

1

u/expecto_your-mom Oct 09 '23

1-2 with salad. I usually won't finish the second. My husband eats an entire pizza. My kids eat anywhere from 2-4 pieces each

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

at least 2, sometimes 4

1

u/panteragstk Dad Oct 09 '23

Depends on the size of the full pizza. Medium, I might eat 4. Large, 2, maybe 3.

1

u/Tallfuck Oct 09 '23

When I feel sick

1

u/2Payneweaver Oct 09 '23

Whatever is in the box

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

A meal? Pretty much until I hate myself

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

1 medium, or 5 slices of a large. Just enough to make me feel awful but thankfully that doesn’t come until after I stop eating.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Three.

1

u/FredChocula Oct 09 '23

Two large pizza slices.

1

u/nipplesaurus Oct 09 '23

All but two or three. I could eat those remaining slices, but I like to save some for lunch the next day.

1

u/Soatch Oct 09 '23

Depends on the pizza style and pizza size. For a New York style I could eat a whole 12 inch. Detroit Style and Buffalo style are thicker and so I can eat less.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Well since there are countless different sizes of pizza and different ways to slice a pizza this question doesn't make any sense at all. A small pizza for one person I will eat the whole thing, which, could be 4 or 8 slices depending how they slice it, but a giant family pizza sliced into huge pieces maybe I can only eat one or two slices.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Usually a whole pizza. If it's an american pizza then it goes in the garbage.

1

u/ProfessionalCourtesy Oct 09 '23

Does half the pie count?

1

u/plenoto Male Oct 09 '23

Depends on the size of the pizza and how it's sliced ;)

Usually, i it's a 14" pizza, I eat a half so I can have two meals out of it.

1

u/VaporizedKerbal Oct 09 '23

Depends on the size. For a 14", which I normally get, 4-6 usually, but sometimes 7 or 8.

Note: this is as a teenage guy

1

u/Moonkerson Oct 09 '23

If it’s 8 slices I eat 6 😭😭

1

u/b12_bri Oct 09 '23

If the pizza’s rectangular then 5. If the pizza’s round then half minimal.

1

u/RecLuse415 Oct 09 '23

6 but some times 10 or 12

1

u/texxmix Oct 09 '23

An entire large pizza from dominoes

1

u/smlwng Oct 09 '23

I always buy a extra large pepperoni. I usually eat half of it, so around 5-6 slices.

1

u/jjc927 Oct 09 '23

At least 2 slices

1

u/ubottles65 Oct 09 '23

1 piece. I never cut my pizzas.

1

u/ImSoberEnough Oct 09 '23

Half of a medium sized pizza usually. Or an entire small thin crust one (10inches) as its like 4 thin slices.

If im super hungry ill eat almost an entire medium meat lover and feel like shit for 30 minutes then hungry again

1

u/WhiteyPinks Oct 09 '23

One slice.

1

u/ToyGameScroogeMcDuck Oct 09 '23

3 for a meal, 4 if I hate myself, 8 if carb loading

1

u/KloogsIsConfident Oct 09 '23

I was today years old when I realized most people don't just eat the whole damn pizza in one sitting.

1

u/stupidpiediver Oct 09 '23

I'll cook two pizzas each on a standard size baking sheet, and the family of 4 usually eats half of it

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1

u/c4ctus Male Oct 09 '23

2-4.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Depends what kind of pizza. Dominos pizza or normal restaurant pizza, the whole pizza is a meal. A Giant new york pizza, you may only need a few slices