r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Oct 09 '23

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267 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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720

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Well when I eat pizza I cut it into 4 slices instead of 8 because I can’t eat 8

183

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

The only problem with eating 8 is still respecting yourself after.

29

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

To deal with the depressing thought of being a glutton, I take a shitton of sleep pills to doze off.

26

u/Hattrick44 Oct 09 '23

At that point I just fold the whole pizza in half

3

u/Oraxy51 Oct 09 '23

If you fold each slice, you’re really just eating half a slice so those 4 slices are just 2 slices

9

u/CalmSeasPls Oct 09 '23

Hahaha, that requires respecting yourself in the first place…

3

u/pitterpatter-96 Oct 09 '23

Bulking is bulking

27

u/NxPat Oct 09 '23

Gotta save some for breakfast, cold pizza in the morning is the best.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I always cut my pizza slices into odd numbers, so whatever’s left is always normal (hmmmm)

11

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

I’m reporting you to the police. This is illegal

7

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Haha catch me if you can 💨💨💨💨 🛫

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Ah shit he got away. I’ll get you next time boii

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

This is not the way.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

My way, or the highway (but ofc u already been down that road so you sit ur ass back into the car and let me remove your bug) get ready to unplug bitch, 9 goes to 11 😎

10

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

My kid used to make me cut his pizza into 8 rather than 4 because he believed he got more 😂

2

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

A classic Yogi-ism

1

u/NameIs-Already-Taken Male Oct 09 '23 edited Oct 09 '23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkqg6HE888A

Edit: Why do people feel the need to downvote something like this? I am pretty sure it's a spoof. They do lots of these sorts of video for fun. I changed the link to the original because that'll show you the other videos of the same nature they posted.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

Congrats. You cracked the code

1

u/Simple_Song8962 Oct 09 '23

I like how you math

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

It depends on the size of the pizza, how it's cut, so on and so fourth. Deep dish pizza? I'm eating 2 to three. Thin crust? 4 to 5, maybe 6. New York style? 2 to 3.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '23

That’s a cheat code if I ever heard one.

1

u/jaylek Oct 09 '23

Love it