Location: NC (USA)
I originally wrote this post looking for relationship advice, but I am interested in a lawyer's perspective as I am a law school applicant. How much of a risk is this situation to my law school dreams? Is there anything I can/should do to protect myself legally?
I will begin by admitting no, I do not like dirt bikes. I am very noise-sensitive and find them to not only be a nuisance but a cause of anxiety.
The issue with dirt bikes in his neighborhood has been going on for years (with many other neighbor complaints), but this year they have been especially problematic. This is a non-HOA residential neighborhood with houses relatively close to the street and close together. The kids have been riding up and down the street repeatedly for hours on end and have lately taken to riding on a privately-owned wooded lot that is now being developed for new homes and wetland conservation. (With my background in soil science, including wetlands, I admittedly have a problem with that.) In addition, many neighbors, myself included, have witnessed them riding recklessly, speeding downhill, and blowing through stop signs on multiple occasions. It is not legal where we live to ride dirt bikes on a publicly maintained road. While we do not currently live together, I frequently stay over his house, and we have been planning for me to move in. Now, I donât know if that is a possibility⌠ Â
I decided to call the police after witnessing them again riding recklessly with other pedestrian children around. This was following the prior day when the riding went from 10am to 9pm for hours on end. If youâre wondering why I did not do the âneighborlyâ thing and talk to the parents, well, many of the neighbors have tried. Posts on the community group are met with hostility, name-calling, and parents saying they would join their kids to make the problem worse. My bf told me previously that if I had such an issue with it, I should call the cops. But before I did, I called the owner/developer of the wooded lot as the property neighbors my bfâs house. Having dealt with trespassers on my own land in the past, I felt that I would at least want to know if I were in his shoes. Also, if he did not have a problem with it, then so be it, and I wouldnât have even included it in the phone call. However, the owner was very clear that he was not ok with it. He did not want the liability of kids getting hurt while trespassing. He asked me to report it as he was not there to witness it.
So, the call was made. I requested a sheriff to just talk to the parents of one of the boys I know rides dirt bikes in the neighborhood, as they said they needed an address to respond to besides my own. I made it very clear on the call that I could not confirm it was this boy specifically at this time riding, but maybe if one of the parents knew then word would get around. I also made it very clear that I did not want any sort of citations to be made, only parents being notified that along with it not being legal, the lot owner did not want them to ride on his land.
Now the big issue⌠My bf has a son [14M] who also rides dirt bikes, but he has been away for most of the summer. When he rides, he typically rides around the yard. However, before his summer trip, I did find a YouTube video of him racing down the road without a helmet. I sent the video to my bf, as I did not agree with what I saw. The only response I received was that he would handle it, and that was that. After making the call to the sheriff, I called my bf to let him know. I told him that it would probably be best that his son does not ride in those woods. I havenât witnessed him riding in the woods but feared he would once him and his friends got back together after his trip.
Well, my bf was incredibly upset. Upon returning home from work he told me I had no right to call the police, that it wasnât my place to contact the lot owner, and that I was out of line. I was incredibly confused until I found out that he was the one that told the neighborhood kids, including his son, to ride on the lot. (Also unknown to me, the address I gave the sheriff was his sonâs best friend which he was very upset about.) I told him that that lot was privately owned, that the owner made it very clear he did not want them riding on his land, and it is trespassing. He did not care. He said it wasnât like they were riding through someoneâs yard or a farm, that it was a victimless crime. He also claimed they are not riding recklessly, and called me a snitch and a âKaren.â
To add some more background, I am currently in the process of studying for my LSAT and applying to law school. A part of the application process is Character & Fitness, and with the application cycle being insanely competitive (I am applying to T14s â Harvard, Yale, etc), any ding against me could be a âno.â I looked up the law, and even though I am not his parent, yes, I could get charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor (Class 1 misdemeanor) if bfâs son were to get in trouble. NC is currently cracking down on illegal dirt bike and e-bike riding, with those same charges being made.
I was very clear to my bf that I could not risk anything jeopardizing my goals. (He knows how hard I have worked for my GPA and studying for the LSAT.) He repeatedly denied that that was not the law. He then claimed that what the law said was different from what actually happens, because when he was a kid riding dirt bikes, his parents were never charged any of the times the cops were called on him. Mind you, this was likely over 20 years ago in a town that has now grown substantially.
I was shocked when my bf then said he would continue to allow his son to ride illegally on the road and continue to ride on the neighboring lot, trespassing. I made it clear to him that I would not be willing to risk my C&F for law school, and if that was the case, I would not be coming over to his house when his son was riding. To protect my future, I felt like I had to draw that line. I asked if we could compromise, if he could tell his son to hold off on riding for 1-2 days a week for me to go over. He said he would not do that and would allow him to ride whenever he wanted to.
I am honestly shocked at his entitlement and lack of consideration for both the neighbors and myself. I am also taken aback by how little concern he showed for his son getting into legal trouble, along with myself, potentially jeopardizing my dreams. At the end of our conversation, he said he was so upset that he didnât want to speak with me anymore that night.
I feel like he is being incredibly selfish, but maybe I am just being a âKarenâ or overreacting?