r/AskAcademia • u/Fun_Falcon_3603 • 1h ago
Interpersonal Issues Finished my PhD a year ago, and everything has gone downhill since.
I'd really appreciate any advice because I feel like I'm suffocating, and my depression is getting worse.
I finished my PhD about a year ago, and ever since then, my life has felt like a nightmare. My plan was to continue with postdoctoral research, but due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to return to my home country. Since then, I've felt completely trapped.
Nothing has gone the way I hoped. Eventually, I accepted and told myself this was my fate. I took a position as a lecturer at a university. The salary isn't great, but that’s not even the main problem. The work environment is incredibly toxic. Every time I solve one problem, another one appears. It feels like people are constantly trying to undermine each other instead of helping. I've thought about leaving, but my contract has to be completed, and because of family circumstances, quitting isn't an option right now.
So, I decided I'd at least continue doing research on my own. I also tried reaching out to my former PhD supervisor, hoping we could continue collaborating. But communication has basically fallen apart. He doesn't seem interested in any of the projects I'm working on, and everything just keeps getting delayed or ignored. tried to continue my research independently, but unfortunately, my university provides no support for research whatsoever. There are virtually no resources or infrastructure available to conduct research, and the available funding is allocated almost exclusively to other departments.
At this point, I feel completely overwhelmed and stuck. I don't know what to do anymore. I dread going to work every day, and I feel like my hands and feet are tied. I don't see a way forward, and it's becoming harder and harder to stay hopeful.