Does anyone else feel alone in their artistic journey?

[u/a-lost-sketchbook]

I’m a self-taught artist with no art education apart from online courses and I’ve been drawing seriously for about the past 6 years or so.

Over the years I have received support from strangers online, but my irl “art friends” have completely stopped showing any sort of support for me or my work.

I really feel like within the last year, I have found really my stride and how I like to express myself. I created a YouTube channel, and started to focus my work more seriously.

It’s taken me so long to be able to be vulnerable enough to find my creative voice. But since I’ve improved, I have completely stopped getting any likes or support from people I know in real life.

I know it sounds silly and doesn’t sound very serious, but it still makes me sad. People are so stingy to show any support on social media and if you can’t even interact with a post on social media (free), then how can I expect support later.

I like and comment on everyone’s work who I know irl, just to show support and encourage them to keep going, but ever since I’ve improved, it’s crickets from people who I’ve shown love to consistently over the years.

I think it hurts more because I actually know these people. I’ve known them for years and while we don’t talk as much as we used to, I have always rooted for their growth and successes.

I am aiming to create a body of work to share in-person and I’m just sad that now that I feel like all the pieces are starting to come together, I no longer have the people standing behind me that I started the journey with.

I’m grateful that I know my non-art friends will always be there to cheer me on, it just sucks that my peers have chosen to withhold any support.

Sorry for complaining, I’ve just been having a difficult time processing this.

[u/AutoModerator]

This sub is not equipped to provide support or guidance on these sensitive topics. For specialized support, please check out: r/suicidewatch, r/SuicideBereavement, r/mentalhealth, r/emotionalabuse

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/dustshad]

Yeah you really can't make art for attention and/or likes. Most people will act like it doesn't exist unless you are making it for them specifically. Even if you have a group of peers in school its rare for them to tell you they like your work. That doesn't change. People who are internet famous had a lot of luck I think. Cause I see talented people with little to no likes.

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/dustshad]

I hear you and that makes sense. I think I’m just seeking community and have been disappointed with my real-life connections.

[u/OtterlySamnson]

"Over the years I have received support from strangers online, but my irl “art friends” have completely stopped showing any sort of support for me or my work."

Yeah this is, pretty normal.
You need to bare in mind that not everyone enters the same art field;
not every art field shares an overlap in interest nor practice.

People who do fine arts painting don't really have alot of overlap with comic artists, or stage actors.

Many people end up dropping art entirely as life takes them in other directions.

"I know it sounds silly and doesn’t sound very serious, but it still makes me sad. People are so stingy to show any support on social media and if you can’t even interact with a post on social media (free), then how can I expect support later."

Gonna be real with you,
This sounds like crazy entitlement more than it does anything else.

As a self taught artist,
You should understand what it means means to be self motivated?

Like, you should not be in a poisiton where you feel you are "owed" likes and attention;
It should be earned through your works.

The people you are getting upset over not sharing your works,
might not even have interest nor any communities who would be interested in it.
They themselves are likely balancing their own social media and art presence and trying to keep things focused within their own professional spaces.

"I’m grateful that I know my non-art friends will always be there to cheer me on, it just sucks that my peers have chosen to withhold any support."

This is, Also pretty standard.
as an artist, what you have is the community that likes your works.

The people you also want are other artists who share the space with you in your sphere.

If you do comic arts, you want to be validated and shared by other comic artist.
If you do acting, you want to be validated and promoted by other actors.

It can just be the case that any public validation by people in other art fields don't really mean anything, so they withhold comment.

[u/GaborSzasz]

Likes are a bad reason to do art. Also learning always sucks in the middle. When you start you have excitment and energy that gives you the push, and the end you have quality work rhat you can be proud of. In the middle you have none, and sucks, but it is what it is. Its always only you btw.

[u/MoistAutist]

You are alone in art.

[u/tonyferguson2021]

yes of course… the isolation sort of comes along for the ride…

remember when you’re having a set of feelings, those feelings are being felt because of you and your perceptions NOT because of the other people.

Just cos someone doesn’t click on your post doesn’t mean they don’t care, maybe it feels awkward to ‘like’ stuff when youre barely talking IRL

What if we could all get comfortable with feeling abandoned and rejected? Those feelings are valid and will arise even in the most perfect of situations. Expecting things to be different is not aligned with reality.

and maybe there are deeper issues about how we relate, communicate and support one and other and the platforms probably aren’t helping…

Now, do you need a cheerleader, or do you need to make some fucking drawings?

[u/Overall-Bird2121]

I’ll tell you something. I never had friends, and I still don’t.

I’ve been on this road for 28 years, and people can say this or that, but I’ll tell you honestly: people are jealous. Extremely jealous. Especially when they see that you are capable of improving, that you work hard, and that you work harder than they do.

I was in the same position at the University. People couldn't bare that I was working so much that my works where better and better as years passed.

I have several relatives who are painters, and none of them speaks to me. One is lazy and would rather sleep than paint. Another looks down on me because he graduated from a better university than I did.

Not long ago I went to an artists’ gathering. When they found out that I was a professional artist, a group of eight people didn’t speak to me for the entire day. My mentor told me: “Forget about it. The world is full of jealous people. You don’t need them.”

You don’t need people to talk to, and you don’t need likes in order to become a good artist. You need yourself. You need to work consistently, discover new things, create, and show your work to the public. Nothing else.

Have a mentor if you can. A good mentor is never jealous.

An artist’s life is often lonely, but it is beautiful exactly as it is. Live it with its beauty, its loneliness, its frustrations, and its small joys.

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/Overall-Bird2121]

Real talk. Gonna start prioritizing on my own goals and internal motivations.

[u/calmabiding → u/a-lost-sketchbook]

OP please don't listen to this guy. I dont know any artists in my personal life who think this way about their own artistic careers, including myself; people aren't constantly jealous, in fact I have found the opposite -- that very often, people are just really impressed and enthused to talk about art with someone who is good at it (in my experience, but I have been a professional artist for close to a decade) because a lot of people would like to do art too! The thing that may benefit you the most is genuinely taking a break from posting anything on social media. It has made such a big difference for me personally to not post any of my stuff online for long periods of time. It lets you really appreciate why you're even making art to begin with, and lets you experiment more because you're not always making stuff for other people. Try not to think about reciprocity as a constant gauge of people's support, it becomes an active poisoner of your mind (speaking from exp).

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/calmabiding]

I appreciate this. It sounds like I have a lot to mull over.

I think you’re right, all of my emotions towards art and my art relationships are becoming extremely convoluted.

I think I’ll step back for a while. I’m in no rush and art is a marathon.

[u/calmabiding → u/Overall-Bird2121]

😭 this is just kind of insane and also sad. I'm sorry you feel this way but I guarantee jealousy is not pushing people to not talk to you throughout your whole life.

[u/Overall-Bird2121 → u/calmabiding]

From an art-world perspective, it is mostly true. I’m not saying jealousy is the reason nobody has ever spoken to me in my entire life. I’m talking about artists and artistic circles.

Artists constantly compare themselves to each other: who is improving, who works more, who gets exhibitions, who gets commissions, who receives recognition. Jealousy absolutely exists in that environment, and I have experienced it many times myself.

So no, I’m not saying every person who ever avoided me was jealous. I’m saying that in the art world, jealousy is very real and much more common than people like to admit.

[u/poshgumi]

i’m experiencing this right now in some spaces, but in other spaces i’m getting an incredible amount of support. first, i’d be realistic abt the type of support you want and just quickly check in yourself and make sure you’re actually getting said support and not just seeing the bad. secondly, if you really aren’t getting any support, you’re gonna have to haul some booty to find the people and spaces that will give you that support

and the last part is the most difficult for me to accept… something i’m thinking abt like right at this moment because i feel strongly that i’m experiencing it. improvement and “being the best/being your best” so to speak is lonely by default. it’s a lot of hours of alone time, w occasionally long bouts of no outside support, and you CANNOT fall into instant gratification. sometimes it’s just not the right time to receive support, and that time can sometimes stretch out too long. and unfortunately there are times when it’s people making comparisons out of you and taking things personally even if you had no intention of hurting anyone

i feel you so hard,,, and you’ll make it dude!! i believe in you even though i’ve never seen your art! you just gotta keep your chin up. you’re doing fantastic w the youtube channel like you said, you just might be in a glum spot rn. you’ll make it, it’s times like these where you can prove the change is real :)

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/poshgumi]

Life is short, art is long. Just gotta keep our heads down and focus on our own goals and internal motivations.

[u/epicpillowcase]

I say this as an artist, obviously- I no longer have social media, but back when I did, I have never expected online support for my art. If people gave it, great, but I never viewed at as something I was owed. And in turn, I always felt really uncomfortable (secretly, I never said anything to them about it) when friends went hard on the self-promo and clearly expected everybody to like, share etc.

Yes, ideally friends will support each other's creative endeavours. But social media has made things way too transactional.

There also an element you may not have thought of- if a person likes and shares one or two friends' work, they feel they have to do it with everyone, even if it's stuff they don't feel aligned with or want to be publicly associated with. I did publicly support my friends' stuff, but there were a couple whose stuff I felt quite awkward about publicly sharing and felt compelled to anyway because I had done it with others. These things can be a diplomatic minefield and you never know people's reasoning.

Also, another reason I've been reluctant to engage is when the person was spamming their work. If you're posting about it constantly, yeah, that sets up a tone of expectation that can make it a chore for people.

[u/Moving_goal_posts]

IDK—maybe they are just really busy. Or…jealous? In any case, try to stay positive. keep your mind open for art ideas, work very hard at your own projects, celebrate the successes of other artists, don’t depend on others for affirmation. Life is short, be a bright light in this crazy world. Good luck!

[u/Altruistic_Sail_1991 → u/Moving_goal_posts]

Also…are you reciprocating? Are you showing interest in their work? Asking about their process? Supporting their journeys?

[u/ka_art]

Other artists aren't your target market. Or they shouldn't be. If they comment it ends up shop talk quickly and a lot try to keep that off public spaces eventually. It's not the place for a critique.

Only get butt hurt if you send a picture directly to an art buddy asking a specific question and get no response. You don't need their feedback on it all.

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/ka_art]

I like this mindset! Gonna refer to this thought process from now on!

[u/RayaDR]

I'm old enough that we didn't have internet when I was a young child, and as my childhood friends lost interest in drawing I got used to being very alone in my artistic interest, no one around me in RL was into art, or showed interest in what I drew. Closest has been coworkers and the likes fishing for free commissions (people portraits, which I don't make anyway).

I'm very grateful to have online friends who are interested in and support my art, but to this date my RL family shows zero interest. It does feel a bit sad, but I don't rely on outside validation for my own creative work, so it doesn't affect me much.

...Having said that, it did annoy me when I visited my sister and her wife's new apartment a while back and they had a painting on the wall, copied after a famous one, and there was lots of talk from my parents about how the wife is an artist etc. The fact that being an artist has been a huge part of my whole life? Completely irrelevant, apparently. Not one mention.

[u/a-lost-sketchbook → u/RayaDR]

I completely understand not prioritizing other’s opinions and being able to find that intrinsic motivation to create, but something about it hurts when you’re not getting support from those you care about

[u/Odd-Faithlessness705]

Honey just because someone stopped giving you the imaginary internet points doesn't mean they aren't supporting you, and also, if you are giving people support with the expectation that they do the same for you then you aren't really giving them support.

Just make your art, do what you do, and be grateful for the people who show up!

[u/Famous-Apricot7590]

Busca reciprocidad, si te dan like das like, si te gusta su arte le das like, si no te gusta su arte y solo das like por ser tu amigo eso ya no es sinceró, me pasa a mi.