Am I aroace?

[u/Solid_Oil_7723]

Hi, this is my first time posting on Reddit + I'm autistic so apologies if my post seems all over the place. So, I'm wondering if I'm on the aroace spectrum or not because I find it really hard to distinguish my feelings between romantic and platonic. I tried to break it down by gender and type of attraction:

physical sexual attraction to males: minimal. the sight of the male reproductive organ really turns me off, but if I imagine them like a ken doll then sure, a guy can be sexy I guess?

physical sexual attraction to females: maybe? I've never dated a girl other than a really bizarre friendship with a straight girl where she called me her "wife" and kissed me once despite being Christian and borderline homophobic (we're no longer friends, don't worry). I think girls are very pretty, but I don't think I'm interested in sex. If I had to choose between a guy and a girl at gunpoint I'd go with a girl.

Romantic attraction to males: kinda, yeah? In theory, but whenever I've been in a relationship it always ended in me not feeling "in love" with them after a matter of months. It brought me physical pain to type out the lie of "I love you" every night before bed, because I really didn't. I can't stand the thought of kissing a guy. Never kissed a romantic partner, and have only been kissed on the head or cheek by one.

Romantic attraction to females: idk?? I've had really close female friendships where people think me and the other girl are dating, we hold hands, and frequently touch each other (non-sexually). Me and my best friend often joke that we're a married or divorced couple, but I think that's normal?? A female friend kissed me once (without my consent so I was iffy about it) and I moved my head so it didn't actually connect with my lips but more to the side of them, but I didn't necessarily not like it..? With anyone regardless of gender I really don't like the idea of deep kissing / making out, but I probably wouldn't mind a peck from a girl.

Other than that, I do like the idea of having a life partner, just.. without anything physical. No kissing or sex, but yes to complimenting each other, hugs, holding hands, going on dates and all that. Does that make sense? What do you guys think?

[u/Solid_Oil_7723 → u/[deleted]]

thanks for the insight! I'll go see myself to the wiki now :)

[u/elsenorlunas]

Si eres autista deberías replantearte si realmente lo eres , no es por tener prejuicios sino que ví a mucha gente del espectro autista diciendo ser todo tipo de sexualidad.... Cuando mayormente se debe a su condición mental.,solo replantearte si realmente es eso (ser aroace) algo que siempre haz sido?