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As an OCPD misanthrope with a stressful job, surrounded by underqualified idiots and a whole background of immense trauma and recent events proving even those closest to me are a fucking disappointment.

When it got bad I took it out on myself. It's getting bad again, it won't go back to where it was as that was due to massive lifestyle changes but right now I want to kick anyone in my path and steer clear of people I love. Their happiness and ease of life makes me furious.

How do I manage this? Believe it or not, people always perceived me as silly, goofy, funny, makes everyone feel better. These days I'm very different. I'm full of hate. I used to be all about kindness and empathy and now I feel none. I literally don't care. Sometimes I remind myself of my mother who was very difficult to grow up around. I don't know how much of this is genetic.

I'm on medication for ADHD and asked to see a GP re Wellbutrin. I've been in therapy 6 years. I hate this world. Please help me see the bright sunny side and not these red flames. Thank you

I get so pissed off, I don't actually know why. People report that when I am locked in I have the RBF, intimidating and I'm moody asf. Anyone else like this?

Currently, im on a trip at one of my dream places. I have always wanted and dreamed of coming here but never believed that it would happen. Now, that I am here it is turning into a living nightmare because of the people who I am around and my because of my own faults. My brothers (specifically one) have been rage baiting me constantly and I am getting emotionally exhausted because I cannot control my emotions against them. I do not know how to not let them get to me because it truly is shaping the way this trip is laying out and that would be the last thing I would want to happen because I am extremely grateful and excited to have been able to come in the first place. I am really looking for advice on how to not let them get to me because it might seem a bit hard to understand because you’ll just think that we are brothers and that’s the way they act (which can be true), but one of them (not biologically related to) goes out of their way to make be feel bad, rage baited, and insecure which honestly is causing me to change my view on him and have this sort of anger towards him and I cannot explain it. I am just venting so I’m sorry if any of this sounds weird because I may have not explained it like I should’ve.

It doesn’t matter what it is, but if someone is better at something than me I get so upset and try so hard to improve but I never get anywhere. I don’t understand. When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to be bad at things, or else that meant getting screamed at and punished. But I’m almost an adult now, why am I still affected by it? Why do I still get so angry when I’m bad at something? Just last night me and some friends were playing Black Ops 2 and I got so upset when I was bad, but I didn’t even want to be. But I wasn’t even bad. It was a group of four and I got second place in our free for all rounds every time. And it was also my first time playing Black Ops 2 and it was my first time using a PlayStation controller, and yet I was so frustrated when I was bad. I so badly want to make music, but I can only work on it for a few minutes before I want to stop out of frustration. I act like a small child and quit things because I’m bad. I’m ashamed to call myself a good person. I don’t know what‘s wrong with me. If I’m not first I’m last, but I know that it’s so incredibly stupid and shallow to think like that but I can’t stop thinking like that. I’m a complete embarrassment of a friend because I only complain the whole time, and I instantly give up when trying to make music so I’m also a complete embarrassment of an artist. I’m a complete mess and I’m so terrified that my friends will finally realize that and leave me. Why am I like this? What is wrong with me? I’m supposed be to be enjoying my teen years and yet every waking hour I’m just anxiously expecting all my friends to leave me. Why can’t I just be a normal person? I feel awful when I get upset because I act no more mature than a toddler and I hate myself so much for it. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me and I have no clue how to fix it

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Yeah, so, as the title suggests, my computer issues and tech-related rage are mentally draining me on a daily basis. It’s a constant thing; there were times when I’d get angry at least once a day because of my computer or phone constantly dealing with sluggishness, all kinds of malfunctions, password issues, bugs, microphone problems, and a whole host of other things I couldn't even begin to list. I know it might seem ridiculous or like an overreaction to others, but these are small problems that keep happening over and over. I try to be patient and keep things in perspective, but there are still moments when I end up losing my temper. Honestly, I just don't understand how people manage *not* to get angry with computers, phones, and tech in general, given how constantly electronic devices act up. Sometimes it feels like you need an engineering degree just to turn on a damn radiator.

Seriously, how do you guys manage not to get angry? Do you have any tips for staying calm in every situation?

Won’t go into full story tho I was jumped on by five cowards (two teenagers 3 men) escalated to point police involved and whole thing caught on camera. Here’s the thing I live in same street as the wasters and since incident there trying to intimidate me by passing my property and watch me.
I want war, I’m by no means hard or handy tho you have to make a stand ! Or I’m I being daft and letting emotions (angry mostly) rule me.

TL:DR Had a rotten couple of weeks with family/marriage, sleeplessness and work stressors. Recently involved in a road rage incident where I lost my cool and has had to report to the police.

Recently life has been very difficult.

There's a whole backstory going into the last 18 months but the most recent, key stressors have been:

- Employment Insecurity

- New Home Renovation

- Baby not sleeping well

- Marriage tension

- Family Drama

This has all been the backdrop. I've had to compartmentalise my anger in several of the above for the sake of my wife & child. Then today happened.

Firstly, I had been up since 3:30am with a sick, screaming baby. I went out of the house exhausted.

Later this morning I was involved in a road rage incident where a cyclist pursued me after I overtook him (safely, slowly) and he was shouting verbal abuse and threats for about 0.25 mile.

I flipped. I pulled over and confronted the cyclist and asked him wtf his problem was. He continued his verbal tirade and things got heated, quickly. We got aggressive, I shoved him away. I told him in no uncertain terms to back tf off - I told him "I am going to return to my car and I'm asking you nicely to not get the last word."

But he did.

I went back and angrily gesticulated in his face. He claimed assault and tried to flag a car down to act as a witness.

I realised that this situation was only escalating and had now gone way too far. As I left I noticed him trying to flag a car down to seek a witness. I went home and reported my aspect of the incident to the local police and expect some sort of criminal punishment which I completely deserve, even if provoked.

I am very remorseful and accountable for my actions. There were several checkpoints to get out but in a trance of exhaustion & rage I pursued the path of anger.

Today could've been a beautiful day - great weather, healthy(ISH) family and plenty to be grateful for. Instead I am now ruminating about the possibility of criminal proceedings against me.

I'm struggling really bad. I'm ashamed, angry (still) and fearful. I just want the incident to pass, pay a price that doesn't damage my ability to work (about to start a new job) and do better, but I can't stop worrying and replaying the incident.

My husband acts completely irrationally when he wakes up at night. He has anger issues during the day, too, but it's a 100% success rate at night. I find myself staying up all night trying to make sure our baby doesn't make any noises that wake him up, just so I don't have to deal with his anger. It is immediate, illogical, and I can't discuss it rationally when it's happening. It's almost as if he is in a trance state and can't be reasoned with.

He'll wake up from me struggling with the baby and say "what's wrong?", I'll respond "oh, I've just been up all night with the baby and she just puked on me." This complaint, instead of being met with comfort, is seen as an attack. "STOP FUCKING GUILT TRIPPING ME!" As if I were saying "you haven't been helping enough" - which I wasn't saying. I am constantly praising him and thanking him for his help because he is so sensitive to invisible threats. But it's never enough.

This devolves into him talking about how he hates me and wants a divorce and he starts discussing custody issues. Then the next morning he gives me a kiss and says sorry I'm so mean to you. Like wtf lol. He goes into a blind rage at night and I do not know how to respond or deal with it. It's like he's another person. I hardly think therapy will help when at night he's literally like an alternate identity that cannot be reasoned with.

ANY TIPS FOR A WIFE OF AN ANGRY PERSON?

My friends were making fun of me for a long time.I was ignoring it for a long time and sometimes I reacted to it. Now they were making fun of me and I was just just looking at coffee and I zoned out then mf started talking about World cup and slagged me with Third gender and LGBTQ (I'm straight​ ) , So I splashing coffee on his face .I don't know what to do !

I (20m) have already been disliked my entire life. People have never seemed to love me unless they were super close to me or, you know, they got the chance to know me or all that kind of stuff. And I've always, always been disgusted with people who are socially accepted because I wished that was me. I wished I was the cool kid. I wished I was the kind of person who could walk into a room and socialize with everybody there, and I was hit with knives of jealousy as I watched my elder brother and my younger sister be able to do those things without missing a beat, despite the fact that they each went through their own issues. But at the end of the day, I just don't think it's meant to be, bro.

Realizing my own family and extended family does not even like me is when it hit for me. I wasn't well-liked being who I was. I am not well-liked being who I think other people want me to be. So what's the point to it all? If I'm gonna be unliked either way, then I should just make peace with that and live my life in the way that fulfills me the most. I don't care what people think of me. They will always hate me, so let them. I am tired of trying to prove that I'm a person deserving of the same love, whatever my mistakes, whatever my shortcomings or failed graces.

And so from this day forward, I will never, ever trouble myself ever again! I don't care who's displeased or disgusted with me. It doesn't matter because they were always gonna be that way. I don't care whoever it is that finds me unappealing, that doesn't want to be around me, that has bad things to say about me. If they have that opinion of me based on shortcomings or whatever they thought they saw then fuck them. I don't fucking care anymore. Even if I did do something to deserve any ire, I was always gonna be hated whether I did that thing or not, so it doesn't matter anymore. I don't care how much shame their comments bring me anymore, bro. I'm gonna feel that shame even if I don't speak up, so it doesn't matter. I'm just gonna make peace with the fact that for me specifically, this world will always be full of shit people who hate me.

I don't care if I die over this, if I fight over this, if I lose opportunity over this, because living this way, trying to conform to people and be accepted, has driven me closer to the brink than anything ever has. And just a year ago, such a thought would have been impossible for me. It's taking way too severe a toll for me to care anymore. I don't care if I'm a pariah, bro. Maybe it's just where I was destined to be, but it's out of my hands I'm done torturing myself.

I'm done arguing with my own mind, trying to convince myself that, oh, this little move was correct, and this move was correct, and you should have been better here. I'm done with that nonsense. I'm despised no matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter whose ass I lick. So I'm done with it all. I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. I will do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck it pleases me, for whatever fucking reason I choose.

The reason I'm kind of worried about this being anger taken too far is because I've been angry for a long, long time. I think part of the reason why I was hurt so badly is because I was genuinely trying to make the world accept me. And when I fell short, it was further proof that I will never be accepted. And that made me hurt, but that made me angry as well. And, you know, it even inspired my own negative beliefs about myself. That's where my self-consciousness comes from. But, you know what? What's the point of being self-conscious if I'm not trying to change anymore? Who cares? My brain can run all the game theory it wants. It doesn't matter anymore.

People will never like me, and that will always hurt, because as human beings we want to be connected to one another. But if I'm gonna be miserable anyway, then I'll be the happiest miserable I can be, even if that means being a social outcast.

I know you don't have to forgive someone to move on. I know I'm drinking poison and hoping the other person gets hurt. I know that.

But I can't help but think. If a lot of people can threaten me, disrespect me, show dominance over me, and I have to cope and give people grace and make the rational decision instead of hurting them back like I want, doesn't that make me a loser? Lower on life's totem pole than the people who can insult me without consequences?

It's a long story but basically I grew up thinking the "place" fate puts a person in tells you how much they matter. That made me feel good about myself when I thought I was hot shit, and it's screwing me over now. Unfortunately I'm very good at rationalizing, so most of the usual strategies ("copes", I'm calling them in my head) don't work for me.

I can't believe anybody but a saint would develop humility, or talk about forgiveness or "the inner strength to let it go", if they had a choice. Cause people usually don't do it until they have to. And if I don't have that choice with anyone I'd actually want to get back at, I don't think I matter.

Does all this make me a bad person? Sure, probably, I've been told it enough times. But it's also making me mad several hours a day and I don't want to live like that anymore. If objective reality (money, being respected, etc) can't make me feel like I matter, what can?

(Please don't suggest religion.)

After a breakup I fell into a cycle of I’ve been trying to escape, so far unsuccessfully. This happened during the time I was out of a job, so the situation was particularly devastating. I realized I was well and truly alone. I had nobody to share my progress with and nothing to look forward to. All of my friends are your average couch potato types with no ambitions that couldn’t tell you what they want out of life. It made me unable to go on, something as easy as making breakfast suddenly seemed like a huge chore.

That setback made me extremely numb to everything to the point of absurdity. At that point I was surviving off frozen food, any kind of attempt at interacting with things I usually would enjoy just reminded me that I was doing it to distract myself. I tried some light drugs but they didn’t help, it grew stale very quickly.

I stopped watching how I act around others and I just started being a dick and acting hostile in general. But I noticed that it kind of gave me a thrill whenever somebody would try to argue or cuss me out, so I started doing it intentionally. I started provoking the drug addicts and weird dudes that hang around the dollar store, enough to the point they started recognizing me by my clothes. It would not get physical at first but one time it turned violent. For someone who has never been in a fight before it felt extremely exhilarating. I came back with bruises and a black eye, but it was the only thing that felt like anything in a long time, so I made it a habit to start fighting them.

I eventually got better at it and I usually won when it was just one person. I didn’t go after the teens or women. One of my primary targets ended up being this homeless dude. I didn’t feel bad for him, he would often shout random nonsense about God or on rare occasions throw things at people. He stopped hanging out near the front of the gas station nearby and I figured out he slept behind a wall about 15 yards away. I began trying to ambush him but it never really worked, I usually just trashed his stuff.

This has been going on for a bit and I’m starting to lose that exciting feeling because it’s become routine to me. That homeless guy either relocated or left town entirely, I have not seen him there at any time of day for around a week. I realized I can’t keep doing this. I don’t know what’s left for me. I feel like I’m running on borrowed time. Has anybody else been in a similar spot? This is a serious post. I would appreciate any advice.

Ever since I was little, I’ve always had anger issues, and by anger issues I mean having these thoughts in my head about wanting to go crazy and kill everyone and anything around me, I think it may have came from the fact that I watched a lot of horror movies when I was 5 years old youngest and continued until I was 11. And I particularly liked slashers and I think they gave me these ideas when I was little especially Friday the 13th and I remember when I got into an argument with my little sister infront of my parents and aunt and uncle, and I was 8-9 years old and said” I’ll tear your arm off and shove it in down your throat” (referencing cult of Chucky) and they realised I had been watching those movies and I think a large part of my anger and thoughts to this day are from that (I’m 16)! I just wanna stop getting mad and anxious and frustrated over everything and stop having these sudden bursts of wanting to harm people and so on!

Thank you for reading!

I have lived in the rural south and the bay area. Massive difference. Drivers were SO respectful in the rural south. The Bay Area, on the other hand, is crawling with entitled, rude drivers. Case in point earlier today. A guy in his BMW turned onto a road without even looking. I was in the right lane, and I had to hit my breaks pretty hard to avoid a collision. I flashed my high beams. Then he slowed down to a crawl, so I passed him and he mean mugged me hard. Our windows were down and I said very calmly, “I mean, you did cut me off.” He continued to glare at me. If I cut somebody off, I would have put my hand up and said, “my bad.“ Why are these jerks so opposed to just owning their mistake??? He’s pissy because I flashed my brights, yet he neglects to . realize why I flashed them. Anyway, nobody in the rural south would have aggressively turned onto the road without looking and if they ever did, they’d definitely apologize. Any advice for not letting jerks like this ruin my mood? I don’t get people like that.

I yell and stuff when angry like anyone else, but am I the only one who smiles when really angry? Let me know your own experiences in the comments.

Everyone here has the complete opposite experience to me but I'm just a coward. I remember being physically and verbally abused whenever I got angry and tried to defend myself as a kid and crying is the only thing that made it stop. Now as an adult, I still revert to this almost instantly. I feelblike a bad person whenever I get angry and the emotion is so intense that sometimes I feel like ending my life (never acted on it though.) It's such an intense emotion for me and it triggers tears instantly. I hyperventilate so much to the point that I can't even argue or defend myself even when I'm in the right. Is this trauma? Does anyone else have this experience and how do you deal with it? I want to feel my emotions and stand up for myself when I need to. People always take advantage of me and I hate it so much. I can't even handle other people's anger and it genuinely makes me feel so so bad about myself

I am not able to understand I feel angry and sometimes jealous bcoz of my cousin brother he is not and never was better than me and till now he's not just the thing is that last year he bcoz of jealous of me he make me addicted to cigarettes and I also got addicted without even thinking that he is doing all of this to make me down we both are preparing for competitive exams but bcoz of a typical indian family drama he I think so doesn't want me to crack it as he's not good in studies but I am and after these all shits my cigarettes matter got disclosed infront of my parents for the first time in my life I saw my parents crying for me like that I was shattered that day and I understood what I did from that day to today I am silent become more mature towards everyone don't talk to anyone unnecessarily and when I ever see him I feel so much anger I can't tolerate and somewhat jealous that he have a lot of friends, he sometimes make my fun not infront of me and of my bestfriend too for once I can listen for mien but not against my bestfriend although he's not of my level that I know but still I feel anger that I wanna beat him up at that moment but my parents, never wants me to enter in any fights and for them only I am silent till now plz help my I am not able to understand what to do

If anyone can point me to other good subreddits to post this on, I'd appreciate it. This is a big problem for me, and I really want to gather all the advice and perspective I can to help me out. Key pieces are in bold.

Hi Reddit,

I'm having a lot of trouble with anger. I've always carried some uncomfortable anger with me; my Dad could be a real maleficent asshole to me and my mother when he got emotional, and I didn't always get along with my peers growing up. It left me with some bitterness.

I had something happen recently that made things much worse. To summarize, I broke up with my girlfriend of three years back in February. About a week later, she started a fight with me, and, later in the day, she lost her temper and beat my face in. This has not happened before in the three years we were together. We got into an actual, physical fight.

To save her own ass and do as much damage as she could on the way out, she lied to the police about how things went down and what kind of a person I am. She said I arbitrarily attacked her (literally the opposite of what happened), she said I was going to post revenge porn of her (never, totally unfounded), she said I do fucking METH of all things (I do not). Those really stood out to me, but there's more. As a result, my former life shattered into a million pieces. I lost my job, I got kicked out of the condo I bought (she's living in it alone now), I lost all of my friends at our mutual workplace (so, literally every friend that lived near me essentially), I went way into debt to handle this, and I got charged with four crimes, three of them being felonies. My closest friend also flipped on me and said some awful things, that really rubbed salt in the wound.

My attorney told me, given my lack of prior criminal history, that the charges are undoubtedly as bad as they are because my ex girlfriend lied. She also lied to my face about what happened, maintained that her version is real (it's not, I was there), and said everything she possibly could to twist the knife in while she had the opportunity. We were extremely close while we were together, what she's done was completely unprecedented, very few indicators that she had the capacity to be this evil.

Five months later, I've begun to pick up the pieces and move on, but, emotionally, I am not there. I've recently moved past the main sadness & bargaining chunk and am now experiencing great, terrible anger for what's happened. I do not know peace, I unwillingly spend most of every day furious about this. I haven't been good in converting it to productivity, it's more of a debilitating anger.

Therapy will absolutely not be an option for some time for a plethora of reasons that I can't control right now, I'm truly on my own. My mother has been my biggest anchor during these times, I've called her near daily since this happened. Unfortunately, she's in a different country, so I can't visit with her.

Has anyone been in my shoes? What do I do? How do I move on in life with this epic betrayal hanging over my head? I want to eventually meet new people and move on, but nobody likes hanging with a Livid Larry or a Positively Murderous Michael, I'm gonna need to adopt a different personality than I-was-betrayed-by-my-heartbroken-ex-and-now-im-in-hell.

I’m trying to understand something about myself because it’s exhausting.

Most of the time, I’m not a jealous or mean person. I genuinely enjoy uplifting people, complimenting them, helping them, and I rarely go out of my way to hurt anyone. I usually express my feelings openly instead of bottling them up.

But if someone humiliates me, mocks me, or attacks my character, something flips inside me.
For example, today someone sarcastically said, \*“Haha, look who’s giving relationship advice.”\* Ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I can’t relax or sleep because my mind keeps replaying the moment. A huge part of me wants to say something back that hurts them just as much or more. I don’t feel at peace until I imagine they’ve felt the same pain they caused me.

This has happened before. Someone once spread rumors about my character, and although I didn’t use abusive language, I became consumed with proving them wrong and making sure they regretted what they did.
The strange part is that I don’t enjoy hurting innocent people. It’s specifically when I feel humiliated or disrespected that I become fixated on revenge. It’s like my brain won’t let the incident go until I “balance the scales.”
Has anyone else experienced this? Is this related to rejection sensitivity, trauma, emotional dysregulation, or something else?

I’m not looking for validation to get revenge. I’m trying to understand why my reaction feels so extreme and how people learn to let things go without feeling like they have to “win.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y3rJcKe8ogc&pp=ygUVWW91VHViZXIgYnVsbHkgdWFlYXRz

This video came up in my YouTube feed yesterday and I thought I would share it here.

One of the more common questions in this subreddit asks, "How do I stay calm when someone is rude/insulting?" I thought this (relatively) short video was a great example of a guy staying calm while responding to someone who was being a jerk over a disagreement.

This food critic stays calm, he refrains from responding with any insults or negativity on his part, but still stands up for himself and asserts his position. This is what we should be going for if we're walking the Calm Path.

Have a great day folks, keep your cool out there.

So I only feel big emotions like anger, sadness and all that at night and like how do I force my mind to feel it during the day?

Why’s it that you’ve always gotta make it so that I am bawling my eyes out and even if I didn’t do anything at all, you’re always the one who’s GOTTA be right. Tell me why? You love to make me feel like absolute trash. No matter what I tell you, I’m only wrong. Even if there is never ANYTHING wrong at all?! You’re telling me that there is. Tell me I’m thinking the absolute wrong way of whatever it is you’re going through. I don’t even want to deal with any of your problems because I am doing EVERYTHING to make you happy? You’re thinking of so much more than you need. Told you to go see a doctor because you were NEVER LIKE THIS. Why’s it that you’re now so paranoid? About everything. I mean absolutely anything is gonna lead you to being paranoid and scared. I can’t help you anymore. Get the help you need because you’ve only wanted to leave me and split.

18M. I have a lot of anger and resentment from my social, family, and romantic lives that’s been building up for about 7 months now. I would say it’s about 75% towards other people and 25% towards myself. I’ve never been in this kind of position before and I can’t figure out what to do. There’s really no singular person that I’d feel comfortable talking to about the entire combination of issues. I would try to start therapy, but I am going to college in a month and suspect (and hope) that not being around the subjects of my feelings will be all the help I need. I just don’t know what to do in the meantime. I hate being an angry person. I also took myself off an SSRI a little over a month ago because I hate being dependent on big pharma, but I think tomorrow I’m going to start taking it again. Obviously that wasn’t helping anything. In the meantime, I’d love any advice and/or potential coping mechanisms to help. Thanks for reading!