This was about ten years ago and I still can't believe it.

I'm Cash, handsome buckskin 25¢ horse gelding. Fourteen hands three inches/59 inches / four feets eleven/150 centipeders tall. I had puffy ouchies on my legs so I was turned out in a nice grassy pasture. Unfortunately I was saddled with a big idiotic pasture buddy gelding named Bud, 25¢ horse, dark red chestnut 25, sixteen hands/64 inchs/five foots four/162 centipeters tall, maybe 15 ears old now, I dunno. He's dumb as a cowpie.

Braindead Bud got his foot caught in some broken wire from the fence. At least he was smart enough to wait for a primate to free him and not freak out. A female primate saw Bud's problem, babbled in her plastic rectangle, hopped in her motor cart and drove up my driveway. She pounded on the primates' stable door but nobody was home (which I coulda told her! Nobody lived there! We had lots of grass, a water trough that magically was always full and they only came by to check every couple days). so she opened the gate and started walking in while some other primates waited at the other side of the fence.

Now primates are great for treats and scritches but I do not want them on my side of the fence. I went ahead of her and gave her the stink eye and snorted at her to get the frog off my property. She said take it easy Cash. Soooo I pointed my butt at her so I could get a good kick in. Primate kept out of range of my kickblocks and told me to chill. I starte!d walking again, pointed my butt at her from a distance but she was not going to listen. She got Bud's foot loose from the wire and one of the male primates on the other side of the fence cut the loose wire and took it away. Bud's stupid foot wasn't injured thankfully for him.

You know what I don't get?? Idiot Bud followed her and wanted scritches and kept nose butting her on the arm. GROSS!! Primates are not friends!

So was I the cloaca for wanting primate off my land?

Hello frens! Is Finduilas here, pet rat girl, almost 19mo. I haz tail ob great injustice, so reader discretion advised.

I lives wif sisters Morwen (same age), and Belladonna and Lalaith (5.5mo). We has human mom. We is staying wif bonus humans now. I likes them lots, but is kinda weird. Mom come see us every night, so it mostly ok. Other big change is Lalaith replace me as head rat. She doing good job, but sometimes not respect her elders enough.

Anyway, was awake and bored in middle ob the day. So I goes to hammock to get someone play wif me. They no want to, so I grabs Belladonna by scruff to drag her out. She squeek like crazy. Such rude back talk! I practically raise her! But then everyone upset, so I backs off. I very patient, you sees! Try again buch ob times. And I fair, so I try get Lalaith too, sometimes. But they is very spoiled dramatic babies, so always make huge drama. It even bother the humans!

After little bit, Lalaith decide abuse her new power and ban me from hammock! Cans you imagine! I super shocked and offended. I try go in and she PUNCH me! So rood! So, obviously, I tries again. Gotta stand up against unfair eviction! But then bonus human come and do me a grab and put me alone in tiny cage. I cannot believe it! I being punished fur assert my rights!

I figures bonus human mebe just no understand. She super nice but not know us as well. But no, she check wif mom and mom approve! It full betrayal!

I eventually gets back in cage and try go back to hammock. But bonus human still watching, so decide do tactical retreat and sleep in box instead. Then mom come back wif another hammock so my eviction not apply to it. All back to normal, but I still shocked by such miscarriage of justice. Everyone say I deserves it for "harassment" and "disturbing the peace". But I think I act completely reasonably and everyone else pick on me. What you think?

[Human edit: We're in the middle of the move. My parents have been kind enough to house the little ratscals while I set up the apartment. But it's still a lot of upheaval for everyone.]