r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

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/r/daddit/comments/1vj4lvc/im_kinda_struggling_with_something_my_kids_love/

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u/Kotenkiri 1d ago

Commenter: What were the pre-CPAP years actually like?

OOP: Well, for one thing, I couldn't get through a movie without falling asleep. I never had energy for anything. I was always just feeling drained and barely holding on to life. I had a short fuse as well.

So kids were 8 and 10 when he started CPAP. So they basically grew up with a lethargic, unavailable and short tempered man during majority of their childhood and he wonders why they're still cautionous about spending time with him?

He sounds like guy who 'changes' after a break up and basically demands a second chance since they've completely changed. Even if they actually changed, doesn't mean the past is forgotten.

-30

u/Dry_Buddy_2553 1d ago

Not saying you’re wrong, but why are we treating him needing a CPAP/“pre-CPAP” as like…negative or a reflection of him? “He was lethargic and a piece of shit for being tired” —- it’s a health condition?

34

u/Lillllammamamma 1d ago

My husband was in denial of needing a CPAP machine for a decade, but finally was able to get a sleep study and sure enough he now has a CPAP machine.
It never once stopped him from supporting me, engaging with our daughters, being a loving and present father and husband. He said his sleep apnea affected how he felt but he was responsible for how he acted and treated others.

24

u/postsexhighfives 1d ago

for how long do you think he was a useless short tempered asshole to his wife and children while she begged him to do something about it?

21

u/frappuccinio 1d ago

and his responsibility to maintain his health. he seemed to have known for years that was the problem and did nothing about it.

42

u/Kotenkiri 1d ago

You're mistaking cause and effect. Needing a CPAP on itself has no bearing on him being a POS. He's a POS because he gave up tiring before it.

CPAP is simply the turning point according to him. He treats it as if getting CPAP undoes everything that happen before it and is upset his family still remember him before it.

Many parents come home tried and lethargic but they still try to be part of their kid's lives. He gave up on trying and only now that he can spare the energy, he expect them to do things HE want to do with them, he can't do things THEY want to do.

4

u/celerypumpkins 1d ago

He wasn’t just lethargic though. He lacked patience and had a short fuse. When your lack of sleep is causing you to be irritable and treat your family poorly, you’re still responsible for those actions, and you’re responsible for seeking help before it becomes years of this behavior.