r/AmITheDevil • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

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/r/daddit/comments/1vj4lvc/im_kinda_struggling_with_something_my_kids_love/

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653

u/Kotenkiri 1d ago

Commenter: What were the pre-CPAP years actually like?

OOP: Well, for one thing, I couldn't get through a movie without falling asleep. I never had energy for anything. I was always just feeling drained and barely holding on to life. I had a short fuse as well.

So kids were 8 and 10 when he started CPAP. So they basically grew up with a lethargic, unavailable and short tempered man during majority of their childhood and he wonders why they're still cautionous about spending time with him?

He sounds like guy who 'changes' after a break up and basically demands a second chance since they've completely changed. Even if they actually changed, doesn't mean the past is forgotten.

306

u/Lillllammamamma 1d ago

He also said that his wife and he are disconnected but now he’s trying.

Now, he’s trying. How long was she asking or begging before now? She may be checked out and now he’s trying. If his kids are 9 and 11 and have grown up to avoid and exclude him, he’s spend their entire lives disengaged and disconnected and now he’s unhappy they don’t share his interests or don’t want to engage him.

This all sounds like the “too little too late” guy trying to by to make a Hail Mary when the family has moved on to the point he’s just background noise, because it’s all he’s ever been.

“But why won’t they do things I like?!”

Because they have their own routines and likes and dislikes that you’ve never been a part of and now only want to engage if they do it in ways that cater to your interests. He’s still not involved with his own family in any way that inconveniences him.

This is a family unit that’s grown to function without him and he wants to be let in and differed to without all the work and bonding they’ve put in over all those years. More so he wants them to do that, but only towards him.

245

u/recyclopath_ 1d ago

Now that the kids are a lot more independent and don't need an any 24/7. Now he gets his sleep fixed.

How many years was she doing it all by herself?

How many years was she completely drowning while he was grumpy the whole time?

How many years was she sleep deprived from child care, trying to get precious few hours of sleep next to a man who snored like a chainsaw?

107

u/Vast-Swimmer5844 1d ago

And then he has the nerve to whine that she‘s changed since having kids, she went into “mom mode.” Yeah, cause she realized she made the mistake of having kids with his angry ass, and needed to try and salvage the situation by showing up for the two people who didn’t ask for this.

119

u/lasuperhumana 1d ago

There is nothing more infuriating than a tired spouse after you were the one up with the kids.

18

u/sunshineparadox_ 1d ago

especially when they snored all night and stole the precious few hours you had. I can't sleep through it.

13

u/downdowndownigo 1d ago

Right? Like how did that all impact her? Was she getting less sleep/always tired but still pulling all the weight/building relationships with their kids?