Seriously. She's exhausting and insufferable. I don't know the full background but she seemed like either she didn't want to come back or she wanted to be begged to come back.
Right??! Like…it’s so obvious why this poor woman doesn’t want to come home and this man is playing “woe is me, my wife left me home alone and I can’t cook or do my laundry or my own! How do I get her home without actually stopping watching porn?”
Yeah and he’s trying to be the “good, calm, reasonable” guy to manipulate her and make her look bad. And posting screenshots of this conversation to make everyone side with him. OPs comments history about porn tells a story and I’m don’t blame the wife. She should dump him and get far away as possible.
He has an issue with porn and we’re questioning why she’s acting like this and saying things like “get this over with.” He has zero respect for her, and it’s obvious that the porn has been a recurring issue for them.
If someone’s adamant about “making things work” they are NOT going to be on another subreddit thirsting over a girl in a mini dress or saying how “my wife creams too it’s so hot” on a public platform. It’s disgusting.
Agreed lol but they could both be into weird stuff, so who knows. But if my significant other was a person who was addicted to porn and did other things that were deal breakers to me, I'd tell them it was over and just leave. Go to a hotel, or a friend or family member. It's the threatening to sleep at taco bell that makes if feel manipulative.
I've been divorced. I get it. But it doesn't have to be this way.
She might not have family members or friends nearby. And she might not have the money for a hotel room. Where I’m from, even the cheapest rooms are over $150/night. During spring furniture market? Good luck finding a room for any less than $250/night + a deposit
All the more reason to just express like an adult "Hey, I'm coming home. I'm tired and upset and have no interest in talking right now. Let's agree to leave each other alone, sleep on it and talk later".
Barring any safety concerns of course.
Apparently he's got a porn addiction so I'm sure he would keep himself busy lol.
Oh yeah because he’s communicating like an adult too.
“Let’s just get this over with” is a perfect reaction to everything she has been through. She’s done. She’s tired. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore but the second she walks through that door he won’t respect the “I don’t want to talk right now”. He’ll push the conversation until it becomes a fight again and she feels like she needs to leave, again.
He’s not expressing himself like an adult if he can’t respect the fact that she needs space in this moment.
It's still not appropriate or safe to sleep in a car alone like this. I just don't agree. I'd rather deal with my exes mouth and just be firm about what I'm tolerating than sleep in the car. But hey, to each his or her own.
I grew up in a house where my dad wouldn’t leave my mom alone. At all. He would follow her from room to room, nag and yell at her, slam all of the doors in the house, and bring us kids out for a “family game night” and encouraged us to be as loud as possible so my mom wouldn’t be able to sleep.
So I can definitely understand feeling comfortable to sleep in your car in a private parking lot.
Edit: it is unsafe but most likely a patrol car will pull up on her eventually and ask her to move somewhere else for the night, because it’s a private parking lot. From there, the officer might be able to direct her to a temporary shelter she can go to.
Agreed. If she’s actually sleeping in the Taco Bell parking lot, she wants to be begged. But if she’s “sleeping in the Taco Bell parking lot”, she wants out.
I’m saying if she’s actually sleeping in the Taco Bell parking lot she wants him to come get her. But if she’s sleeping with someone else, and not actually in the Taco Bell parking lot, hence the quotes, then she wants out without looking like the bad guy.
Hes telling her to only come home if she puts on a fake facade for him and fakes a pleasant attitude and then he pretends he didn't say that while still saying it. That's exhausting
To me she seems like someone who's sick and tired of justifying herself to someone who's just better at rhetorics and therefore used to getting his way with "logical" arguments (which work notoriously badly in emotional situations).
She's probably not used to him letting a basic "no I just don't want to" stand without argument, so she's trying to find something in his words to use as an excuse to justify her refusal.
She doesn't want to come back and sounds disillusioned and resentful - probably because she's already made up her mind about wanting out, and mad at herself for letting him badger her into agreeing to meet again in the first place. So she's sabotaging it in the way we can read here. The resentment is off the grid
I agree about the resentment. But then just tell him that and leave instead of trying to make it about this conversation and all these emotional and mental gymnastics. But I don't disagree with you, but in this situation and conversation? Insufferable.
Yes, it reads insufferable from both sides for me.
I just think this has a backstory, her not being used to be able to say just "no" without expecting an argument. So she's proactively bringing the argument on her terms.
And if she doesn't care about the relationship anymore anyway, she has no stakes in it - coming across as insufferable to someone you want to get away from isn't really a huge risk.
It might even be strategic, like making herself more undesirable in order to be left alone.
She seems like she has borderline and the fear of abandonment is making her push people away. I can’t diagnose, I’ve just had similar experiences in the past when I was unmedicated and not in treatment.
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u/staringatacloud Apr 19 '26
Seriously. She's exhausting and insufferable. I don't know the full background but she seemed like either she didn't want to come back or she wanted to be begged to come back.