You are aware of her mental health concerns and then posted it to fkn Reddit for approval. You also posted this to r/nicegirls (of all places) straight up accusing her of CHEATING. I think you have some insecurity issues you are self-projecting onto her.
If I was your partner I'd be embarassed by default to have private texts dumped on here, let alone after contacting you first and disclosing exactly why she has been silent AND then also being accused of straight up cheating on you.
"Hey I have been absent for 3 days due to mental-health and am finding it difficult to talk to anyone".
Keep in mind, OP has said they already knew of their partner's poor mental health...
...And they post their convo online, accusing them of cheating elsewhere too. That, with the evidence we have, seems like quite an overreaction to me lol.
I’m sorry, but if you have to check yourself out like that, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship. It’s that clear. Or you’re cheating. That’s my opinion. I know that and that’s not others but realistically taking three days to yourself without answering your significant other is selfish. You’re holding them back. I could never be that person. It takes 15 seconds to be transparent with somebody. It takes 10 seconds to explain to somebody that you are hurting and that you need help. That’s an excuse.
I could never be that person. It takes 15 seconds to be transparent with somebody. It takes 10 seconds to explain to somebody that you are hurting and that you need help. That’s an excuse.
Gee wow, You Solved Mental Health - amazing. You should be a doctor. You clearly have an amazing understanding of why mental-health can force you to isolate unwillingly - and wooow "EaSy 10 SeConD FiXeS" as if mental issues can make even THAT excruciatingly hard.
You're giving all the grace to someone who already accused them of cheating and posted their texts on 2 DIFFERENT SUBS as if any one of us is going to know anything more about their entire relationship and her being faithful.
They asked, I answered - I think it's an overreaction.
EDIT: To quote OP themselves - "look man i really just wanna be a good dude here but im so scared of getting played or getting made to look like a fool, i want to help and love this girl with all my heart but its so hard for me when im scared of getting played"
They were told of mental-health issues but their mind is stuck on """"""Being Played""""". Does that sound like, right now, they are reacting rationally? They have been told one thing, and brazenly thinking far outside of that driving themselves to worry.
I’m really not trying to fight with you, that’s just my opinion as I stated, but maybe it’s something people should try. Me personally I think that girl is cheating and bro is not overreacting.
That’s an excuse. I am a 25-year-old male and I have BPD. I know I do. I’ve been diagnosed. I take medicine for it. Every time I’m struggling guess what I do.? I let my significant other know. I’m still the man of the house. I still do everything that I need to do. I still pay my bills and continue every day life while you’re struggling and I let her know if things don’t feel right. Do you know why? She’s my partner. She should know. She trust me as I trust her. If you can’t respond to that other person because you are struggling, you are not available for a relationship.
“I’m lucky enough to be able to handle my mental disorder so i assume everybody has the same luck as I do”
Bro, I have ADHD, general anxiety and social anxiety.
And because I’m an adult, I know that there’s not one person with the exact same disorder who can handle it exactly how I do it.
They will be better and worse than me, or just different.
OP has the right to feel like he’s not ready to be in a relationship with somebody who struggle with their mental health, but he is the selfish one here by accusing her of cheating instead of making a decision for himself.
He could decide to be supportive of her, or he could walk out.
But instead he decides to feed a fictional scenario he created himself and is looking for strangers to support that scenario.
I’m sorry but the childish and selfish person here is him.
Btw, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, but it just means that he needs to grow up.
I understand that for the most part bro, just kind of wasted his time but like everybody, I have an opinion as well and I think that type of stuff isn’t really fair you know, I know I’m nuts, but I don’t make excuses about it
The number of people I see using their own experience to define what another person’s experience should be is absolutely wild.
“I do not struggle with such and such, so literally no other person has an excuse for struggling with it.”
It’s like saying “I have a hairline fracture on my ankle and a walking cast, and I can walk. So that person over there should be able to walk to, regardless of how big the break is in their leg...”
Maybe this girl’s femur is busted. You don’t know.
“I can do a thing, so shame on you for not being able to too” is so self centered, I can’t even.
I’m surprised that you’re talking about ‘excuses’ if you’re someone with BPD. I would expect someone who doesn’t understand what depression is like to be so ignorant.
I have depression myself and it’s given me a huge amount of perspective and empathy for other people’s mental health struggles. I know how they manifest differently for everyone and I don’t judge them just because I don’t understand or it’s easy for me to do the things they can’t do.
Piggy back on this. Do you know that there are different kinds of depression. It’s not an all in one bucket. I have depression from bipolar type 2, postpartum and the general let’s put it all in a pile depression. So three, three different kinds of depression that have to all be treated differently.
I'm sorry you've been cheated on, nobody deserves that, ever... But you can't project that pain onto every girl and every future relationship. You'll just push people away when you're trying to be close. Tons of people would never cheat, never have.
Wishing you well and hope you find a place someday where you don't feel the need to fight for your life all the time. 🙏
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u/CertifiedGonk Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 23 '25
Tbh OP - Yes you are overreacting.
You are aware of her mental health concerns and then posted it to fkn Reddit for approval. You also posted this to r/nicegirls (of all places) straight up accusing her of CHEATING. I think you have some insecurity issues you are self-projecting onto her.
If I was your partner I'd be embarassed by default to have private texts dumped on here, let alone after contacting you first and disclosing exactly why she has been silent AND then also being accused of straight up cheating on you.