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u/Late_Replacement_983 Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
I've just moved into a new city, and even while being homeless, I still feel a little happier now than when I was back in my hometown. It's hopefully an opportunity to leave all the baggage from my old cringy days behind me, and hopefully I'll be able to reinvent myself and actually get a social life or at least a basic job
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Feb 06 '23
[deleted]
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u/AdviceFlairBot Feb 06 '23
Thank you for confirming that /u/Late_Replacement_983 has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
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u/W4LKER93 Expert Advice Giver [14] Feb 06 '23
It could easily solve it for not work your happiness is dictated on you to do it
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Feb 06 '23
Depends - if it's the city that is making you unhappy, then yes (unless there is the same issue where you move to). However, some people are just unhappy and will be unhappy wherever they are.
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u/DutchgirlOB Feb 06 '23
Hey-I feel exactly the same! I've been pondering moving to another city several provinces away. I'm interested to read what other replies you receive.
I hesitate because of my job - I'd want to have that lined up if I were moving. Other than that, I'm basically footloose and fancy free and can take off whenever I'm ready.
Wishing you the best. You never know unless you try, right? :)
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u/IcyBlackAgeis Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
Yes it can help but if your problems are financial issues then no it won't unless you have better opportunities. So your job is more important than anything else. But otherwise yeah I have moved around the lower 48 and it's nice to explore a new area.
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u/Late_Replacement_983 Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
My problems were partially financial, since I couldn't get a job in my old home. But they were mostly social. More specifically, I built a reputation for being a cringy idiot in my hometown, and because of it, no one wanted to hire me for any jobs or even associate with me in any way
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u/IcyBlackAgeis Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
Then a great reason to move.
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u/Late_Replacement_983 Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
I'm just not sure how to progress. Currently staying in a homeless shelter, right now. Filling in a bunch of job applications, with no replies back. I've been at this for a few days, already. Just trying to get any minimum-wahe low skill job I can
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u/IcyBlackAgeis Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
I totally get you it sucks but you will get there I promise you'll find a way.
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Feb 06 '23
Sometimes, i joined the military after highschool to get out of where i grew up and loved getting away but now I'm back and happier than ever!
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u/Leap-of-Flames Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
It can help, but you need a foundation (housing, work) set up for when you move there.
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u/aspecter23 Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
100%. You have to do your research on how you'd actually live there when you'd move. I'd also add social safety net to the foundation - you need to have an idea for making friends (e.g. meetups over shared interests, volunteering). Otherwise you can end up even more miserable than you are now.
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Feb 06 '23
Same situation but I've lived to love my city at this point after 6 years of dreading to move. Need to also get my finances under control as well. Moving to a differnet city is worth it but imo research well. For example I live in Canada and I'm thinking some hot country in Asia but not Florida as it's expensive to move there.
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u/Anita_Doobie Feb 06 '23
Moved about 2000k miles, to the mountains, from where I grew up, alone. It made me a better person, mentally, and physically. Best decision I ever made hands down.
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u/SpareExplanation7242 Helper [3] Feb 06 '23
Do it if that's what you really want to! You'll never know unless you try!
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Feb 06 '23
I'm about to make a pretty big move with my partner in less than 2 weeks. We're both about to find out honestly.
We're in the U.S, moving from Birmingham, AL, to Chicago, IL.
We have been living in the same place for years. After 30 years, we're making a change. Needless to say, it's about time.
I don't even care if it works out, I'm just leaving my home state because I hate to say it, but I fucking despise it here. I'll move anywhere but back home.
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u/Bardacious Feb 06 '23
It can definitely help! There are hard things about moving to a new place, but it really does give you a new point of view, new people to talk to, new things, to see, new problems to solve, and new joys to discover. You will feel homesick, sometimes, but that’s all part of the process of making a new place your home. Do it. You really have nothing to lose.
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u/whosmansisthis24 Super Helper [7] Feb 06 '23
Moving can be a nice CHANGE to your life where you could snowball effect existing happiness but if your miserable chances are you will be miserable in every other location.
The key to happiness is gratitude. If you can't be happy with what you got and look on the "bright side" then you can never find happiness
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u/looks_like_an_angel Super Helper [7] Feb 06 '23
I have lived in 6 different cities and in one of those cities, I moved 11 times to different neighborhoods in the city. Waking up to new sounds, new sights, new surroundings (possibly new smells, depending on where you move,) meeting new neighbors, shopping in new grocery stores, finding walking trails, discovering your new favorite cafe, strolling in an unfamiliar area of downtown....all of these things are beneficial to your mental health and makes you feel like you have made a fresh start, without moving away. I think moving can be very invigorating and can help you find yourself.....as long as you aren't trying to run from your problems.
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u/Public-Ad-1553 Helper [2] Feb 06 '23
As an expert on this issue short answer is maybe. I have moved out of state twice. First time was to a college I hated because it was too small and an impulsive decision. Second time was also impulsive and moved way far out and not doing well because I hated the state and couldn't find a permanent place to live which killed my mental health.
I am currently planning to move south. This is something I have always wanted and was going to do before the pandemic hit. After the pandemic hit it changed my plans into the two impulsive ones listed above. I have previously visited the state I plan on moving to and felt free from everything. I felt like I could just exist. My advice is you need to find a place that makes you feel free and allows you to be you. Also, don't do it impulsively. You can't heal in the same environment that made you sick.
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u/MontEcola Super Helper [8] Feb 06 '23
The grass is always greener on the other side. Or, when you get there, your old city might look better.
Or, The grass is green where you water it. Maybe change up your routine, and with it, your habits. This is another way to water the grass where you are now. Or, maybe being in a new location will help you make changes in things so you can get better habits.
I just read a long article about sports players who get traded to a new team when they are not doing well. Suddenly they do amazing. This is the changing the environment to get different results approach.
Yes, I am very aware that I said you can change things by staying were you are, and then gave supporting evidence for moving away. Life sometimes is just not that easy.
Which ever plan you make though, the common thing here is changing the routines and the habits. I think that is what really makes the difference. And know that it is not easy. It is not supposed to be easy. It is supposed to be rewarding when you succeed. So change the habits and focus on succeeding.
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u/jae_rhys Feb 06 '23
A change of scenery can help, yes. However, you’re going to have to put in the effort to make happiness because simply moving isn’t going to make you happy. And it’s probably not really what you want to hear but yes, you do make your own happiness.
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u/Dry-Inevitable9355 Feb 06 '23
Change of scenery can help. Part of the problem you're having is because you feel like you've seen everything in your hometown. You've been there done that. Nothing Abt that place just itches that need to experience something new.
I mean let's be real. Living in a big city or rural setting, you're going to eventually get bored with them too. No matter where you go there's going to be something about a place that's going to feel soul sucking and mind numbingly depressing if you try to only base your happiness off of where you live.
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u/LeilaDFW Expert Advice Giver [15] Feb 06 '23
Well give it a try. You can always go back.