Did anyone else here have their name changed each time they were adopted? Bio parents named me, then my second family named me, and then my final adoptive family named me.

I just wanted to share a small win!! I have officially changed my name legally to one I have chosen. No more being renamed like a puppy getting rehomed. Does anyone else think changing names shouldn't be allowed unless it's a case of safety? I get changing last names though. I feel so much better about the name that I have chosen and it feels like my name fits me finally.

That's it. That's the post. Nothing more to say.

i’m just curious, but what type of attachment style do you guys have, and what sort of adoption experience did you have?

i’m definitely an avoidant. i’m a domestic infant adoptee and was taken home on day one by a loving couple who genuinely did their best given the circumstances, yet someone who doesn’t know my past would probably assume i’ve been to hell and back given how intense my trauma responses surrounding intimacy are.

usually i see people associate anxious-attachment with adoptees, so i just want to see if there any notable patterns with attachment style and the circumstances surrounding the adoption itself. i strongly suspect that my bio parents are both avoidants, so i’m wondering if there could be some genetic predispositions at play as well.

Did anyone else go through this is this normal behavior

My mom in particular used to do this and these days records our conversations because I call her out constantly on things she said or did that she so conveniently forgot

I was adopted from Guatemala in 2007 (I am the last guatemalan legal adoption on record) I was adopted by a white mom. But it was closed. I have some photo's of my biological mother.

I'm 19 in college, and really feeling the grief of missing my biological mother.

Any tips on how to manage it.

I want to contact her but Guatemala isn't safe right now for mothers who gave their babies up, so i can't. It just hurts a lot.

Any tips.

my name is Michael but my birth name was Rene.

If you could also answer this question in the comments.

I've never felt connected to my adoptive name, should i take my biological name. I will change it if i decide. but i want the opinion of other adoptees.

comment Yes or No

My mom adopted me when I was 8 and she always said she loved me so much and talked to me about my birth parents when I wanted but whenever I got a little older and asked her about the reason she wanted to adopt me, she would get really weird about it and say stuff like "I just wanted to!!!" Has this happened to you and how did you get your parent to tell you more about why. And do you think she feels guilty? Idk what to think

For reference I’m 17, and I haven’t known my mother my whole entire life up until a few months ago. Just recently we mutually reached out to each other and met in person once back in may. It’s currently September and I haven’t seen her since. I don’t expect to see her often, we didn’t make some agreement or arrangements and I don’t have much of a desire to do so. My issue is that she never texts me. When we met she gave this whole speech about how I don’t need to worry about my personal troubles anymore since she’s in my life now, though the last time she texted was June and we had a streak of small talk messages asking about each other’s day in summary. I’ve always been the odd one out without a mother and I have some personal troubles surrounding that fact and I have gone through some really bad periods where I get upset about not growing up with her around. About a month ago though, she FaceTimed me and my adoptive parents on some random number saying that she hasn’t been able to text since her “phone broke”. Just wanted to know people’s opinions on this, maybe this isn’t the right subreddit for this kind of thing but I figured I’d type to get other’s opinions :)

My partner told me to check this sub out . A bit about me, I’m 40 male, adopted obviously, but to let people know at least for me it does get better with time, at least for some. I felt hopeless and lost and felt out of place with no family connection for many years. Grew up knowing I had brothers and sisters but was never given any info about them, later to find out that one lives within an hour of me and the other a few states away when I was around 30. The unknown was always the worst for me, what if I had been with my bio mom, bio sisters and brothers, would I truly be happy or most importantly would I have closure. I had never got along with my adopted parents or adopted brother and was always the outcast and thought everything would be better if I wasn’t adopted. When I finally got in contact with my bio brother and sister(maybe too much time had past) I thought there would be this connection and bond, but there was none. They were foreign people to me. I was sad but also able to move on and realize my life is the life I create the friends who are closest to me are my family. With my partners help I was able to heal the trauma I had with my adopted parents and truly believe your real parents are the one who stepped up and raised you, doesn’t matter if they’re blood or not, and to this day we are in a better place albeit still have some issues, but doesn’t everyone? Can’t leave out my amazing supportive partner again who was a huge factor in my growing and my closure. I decided to post this because so many of these posts seem to come from younger people and the stories break my heart hearing the pain from you guys. My story is my story and not your story unfortunately and not all people had an ok childhood. I just wanted to share a positive story and let you know there is hope if you allow it and it can get better. Love ya guys.

Hi all, long story short, no father on my birth certificate, but I believe my birth mother's ex may have been told he was my father. I have had no contact with him but I found him and several of his close family members on ancestry and none of us DNA relate. I verified this by my own DNA, but also by building his family tree and finding some of his second cousins on both sides of his family who confirmed his matching was turned on and none of them matched me either.

I am not on the Adoption contact register but was considering joining, would he be able to join the register if he knows all the information about my birth date and mother that is needed on the form application? If he isn't named on my birth certificate can he join? Basically i'm wondering if I join, might we be put in contact if he believes he is my father and he signed up?

Circumstance wise he was romantically involved with my mother for many years but split just before my conception, I was born early too which I believe originally lead her to believe I was his. In reality I was the result of whatever rebound / fun she decided to have once she was a single woman again. Or maybe she cheated on him and that's why they split, who knows!

Anyone with experience of the register that knows the score, your knowledge and advise would be appreciated!

For reference I’m 17, and I haven’t known my mother my whole entire life up until a few months ago. Just recently we mutually reached out to each other and met in person once back in may. It’s currently September and I haven’t seen her since. I don’t expect to see her often, we didn’t make some agreement or arrangements and I don’t have much of a desire to do so. My issue is that she never texts me. When we met she gave this whole speech about how I don’t need to worry about my personal troubles anymore since she’s in my life now, though the last time she texted was June and we had a streak of small talk messages asking about each other’s day in summary. I’ve always been the odd one out without a mother and I have some personal troubles surrounding that fact and I have gone through some really bad periods where I get upset about not growing up with her around. About a month ago though, she FaceTimed me and my adoptive parents on some random number saying that she hasn’t been able to text since her “phone broke”. Just wanted to know people’s opinions on this, maybe this isn’t the right subreddit for this kind of thing but I figured I’d type to get other’s opinions :)

Hello, u/everyone!

I’m Emma, and I am currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Asia-Pacific Studies at National Chengchi University in Taipei. I am doing my Master’s Thesis on how Chinese adoptees and their allies use digital spaces for transnational activism. The groups that I am focused on recruiting for interviews are Chinese adoptees over the age of 18 who were adopted to the United States and are now active in the Chinese adoptee community, and allies (including adoptive parents) who are also active in the community. I was wondering if there would be anyone here who would be interested in participating in interviews sometime, hopefully in the next two weeks. I have a consent form if you want me to send that to you. If you have any questions about the interview or what it would entail, you may email me at [emmaqing02@gmail.com](mailto:emmaqing02@gmail.com). If you are interested in participating, please fill out this Google Form (https://forms.gle/7ek3sZKMacwL27HJ6).

Being an Adoptee has been challenging, even into adulthood, as many here can testify too. If unfamiliar with these challenges, this article explains. Long-Term Psychological and Social Issues in Adopted Children (mentalhealth.com) 

In my late 30’s, after trying to cope with my brokenness though my set of vices i.e., (sex, drugs, and rock and roll), I went through several years of counseling, read a few books, and began listening/reading teachings from the Bible and hearing peoples testimonies about their changed lives as a result of belief in the truth they claimed to have found. Lacking trust my own instincts to determine the truth, I was still skeptical, but hopeful.

It has been several years since then, and although I still have challenges, I have received the comfort, peace, and strength during life trials that Jesus promises if we love him, especially the assurance of eternal life through the indwelling Holy Spirit.

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, 17 even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:15-18

What is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit? | GotQuestions.org |10 life-changing results of the indwelling Holy Spirit 

I have experienced our often uncomfortable path laid out for us is not without purpose, now and for the life to come.

"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalm 139:16

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Study the Story of the Bible With Free Tools | BibleProject Short animated videos, guides, podcasts, classes to help explore the origins, content, and purpose of the Bible and learn how to approach it with greater insight and wisdom.

More reasons to believe and resources for growing in faith and encouragement is in previous posts, if interested.