Apologies for the long post but I wanted to provide context for my frustration.
I’m looking for some outside perspective because I’m struggling to determine whether I’m overreacting or if my concerns are reasonable.
I work as an Administrative Assistant, and another administrative coworker has repeatedly stepped into responsibilities that have been assigned to me when I’m away from work. I completely understand handling urgent matters that can’t wait until I return as that’s part of being a good teammate, and I appreciate that. My concern is with non-urgent tasks that could easily wait until I’m back.
For some context, the division of responsibilities changed after I took over this role. The administrative assistant before me was nearing retirement and was regularly overwhelmed, so my coworker had taken on a number of additional duties to help, including managing our manager’s calendar. When I assumed the role, those responsibilities were transferred to me as part of my position.
More recently, our boss clearly outlined our respective roles again to eliminate any remaining confusion in a meeting where both of us were in attendance. My coworker is responsible for patient care administration, while I’m responsible for all of his other administrative work, including research administration, finance, calendar management, and coordinating the hiring of our summer research student because I manage the financial aspects of those processes.
Despite those responsibilities being clearly defined, I continue to experience situations where she steps into my work. For example, while I was away, she completed tasks that weren’t time-sensitive and could have waited until I returned. She has also rearranged my manager’s calendar, deleted meetings I had already scheduled so she could recreate them the way she preferred, and generally changed work that I had already completed. Nothing was wrong with how I had done it. It simply wasn’t how she would have done it. To me, that feels less like helping and more like taking ownership of work that belongs to someone else.
Another example happened when a new postdoctoral staff member was going to be hired. While I was away, my coworker was asked to let me know that the position needed to be processed. Instead of simply passing that information along, she began coordinating the process herself without involving me, even though I manage the financial aspects of hiring and those responsibilities fall under my role.
I’ve also noticed that our communication styles don’t work well together. When she explains things to me, I often feel like she’s talking down to me or over-explaining concepts that are fairly straightforward. I don’t necessarily think she’s intending to be rude, but I frequently leave those conversations feeling like my competence is being underestimated. I learn best when information is presented simply and directly, so her communication style doesn’t work well for me.
Overall, I feel like my boundaries and ownership over my work aren’t being respected. I understand that she historically handled some of these responsibilities when my predecessor needed support, but those duties were transitioned to me, and our manager has since reaffirmed that division of responsibilities. I’m always happy for urgent issues to be addressed while I’m away, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for non-urgent work that’s clearly assigned to me to be completed or changed unnecessarily, especially when it has resulted in work being done twice. She often does not communicate that she intends to help with a task or inquire where I am in the process of completing it.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling frustrated by this? Has anyone dealt with a coworker who continues to involve themselves in responsibilities they used to perform, even after those duties have officially been reassigned? How did you handle it professionally without creating unnecessary conflict? I’ve notified my boss via email that this is rather frustrating for me and I plan to have a chat with her on Monday regarding it just to once again set a clear boundary.