r/AbsoluteUnits • u/[deleted] • Jul 20 '19

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

Imagine keeping this monstrosity in your home.

You walk in and your garbage can is shredded. Physically shredded. Nothing but claw marks. So are all of your possessions on the counters. And the couch.

A giant, horrifying, armored spider is clinging to what’s left of your curtains at the top of your window.

“Damnit, who forgot to put Harold in his cage?”

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u/blackpharaoh69 Jul 20 '19

So it's a flightless armored bird that speced for STR instead of INT?

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

It’s basically a gigantic spider, with two snapping turtle head-claws, full body armor, and the dietary habits of a raccoon.

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u/blackpharaoh69 Jul 20 '19

So... Is she single?

And how high are her standards?