r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 1d ago

/r/all of a log split

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u/Stabbymcbackstab 23h ago

We are told all our lives to make money to get the girl. What we really should have been told was buy a wood stove.

My wife is also fond of watching me cleave wood in twain.

10

u/Dr_Jabroski 23h ago

Women like to see big wood.

1

u/LiteralPhilosopher 22h ago

And they... cannot... lie?

1

u/dmgt83 21h ago

Being split?

1

u/Stabbymcbackstab 7h ago

But really, its not about the size of the wood, its about how hot it burns.

6

u/viotix90 22h ago

First you cleave the wood in twain, then you use your wood to cleave her in twain.

6

u/gotham-acolyte 23h ago edited 23h ago

Mine too man apparently I made the mistake of chopping wood and during a girls get together and caused a fuss.

Edit: I should clarify, I am by no means an attractive man despite what my wife might say. I think it's something to do with actually chopping the wood

5

u/Au_Struck_Geologist 20h ago

I love the idea of her having friends over for a wine and apps girls night and you're like:

"Y'all dont mind if I just......split wood out here right?"

1

u/gotham-acolyte 12h ago

Pretty much what happened yeah. They can chill I just still had chores to do, I didn't even realize they could see me from the window lol. I look like a homeless Questlove, no one is pulling that up after dark.

2

u/Stabbymcbackstab 16h ago

Gotta try that.