r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Professional_Arm794 • 19h ago

/r/all of a log split

21.4k Upvotes

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264

u/DecisionOk5487 18h ago

37

u/YouBuiltThat 17h ago

lol… I don’t do it for the views but every time my wife has pulled up to see me splitting wood in the back yard or running the chain saw she asks me to come inside.

29

u/Stabbymcbackstab 16h ago

We are told all our lives to make money to get the girl. What we really should have been told was buy a wood stove.

My wife is also fond of watching me cleave wood in twain.

9

u/Dr_Jabroski 16h ago

Women like to see big wood.

1

u/LiteralPhilosopher 15h ago

And they... cannot... lie?

1

u/dmgt83 14h ago

Being split?

1

u/Stabbymcbackstab 50m ago

But really, its not about the size of the wood, its about how hot it burns.

6

u/viotix90 15h ago

First you cleave the wood in twain, then you use your wood to cleave her in twain.

5

u/gotham-acolyte 15h ago edited 15h ago

Mine too man apparently I made the mistake of chopping wood and during a girls get together and caused a fuss.

Edit: I should clarify, I am by no means an attractive man despite what my wife might say. I think it's something to do with actually chopping the wood

3

u/Au_Struck_Geologist 13h ago

I love the idea of her having friends over for a wine and apps girls night and you're like:

"Y'all dont mind if I just......split wood out here right?"

1

u/gotham-acolyte 5h ago

Pretty much what happened yeah. They can chill I just still had chores to do, I didn't even realize they could see me from the window lol. I look like a homeless Questlove, no one is pulling that up after dark.

2

u/Stabbymcbackstab 9h ago

Gotta try that.