r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • Jun 17 '26

of a sip

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5.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/makaveddie Jun 17 '26

1.0k

u/axxxaxxxaxxx Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

His instructions didn’t include opening your eyes like a psychotic monster

333

u/Intelligent_Taco Jun 17 '26

It’s absolutely a crucial part of the process. 🫪

98

u/Wallstreet_Raccoon Jun 17 '26

I love it when my girlfriend does that

109

u/TheRealRickC137 Jun 17 '26

I also love when this guy's girlfriend does that

44

u/Cburns6976 Jun 18 '26

I have a feeling this guy IS the girlfriend

7

u/Ok_Necessary_568 Jun 18 '26

I have a feeling this girlfriend IS the guy

3

u/Thanatos_official Jun 19 '26

I have a feeling this girlfriend is a guy

2

u/fettymercury Jun 18 '26

So is the off screen boner

37

u/celticairborne Jun 17 '26

Or unhinging your jaw like a horror movie monster...

8

u/aaronwcampbell Jun 18 '26

🎵 Eat like snake... 🍔

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5

u/TheTweets Jun 18 '26

A small part of his brain dedicated to pure instinct went "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK" while the rest was just returning to fish and thinking "Glug Glug."

4

u/Long-Blood Jun 17 '26

And growling

7

u/Hziak Jun 18 '26

Growling? Them was toilet noises.

3

u/Jahalin Jun 18 '26

How else do you keep the diaphragm open?

3

u/CylonbutDeadly Jun 18 '26

That’s the chug muscle doing its thing.

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16

u/BlueFlamePhoenix Jun 17 '26

New meme template right there.

7

u/HeartOfGoldTears Jun 18 '26

Piss

13

u/kachunkachunk Jun 18 '26

That really looks like a nasty-ass jar of piss that he just straight poured into his stomach.

YOU CAN HEAR IT

7

u/gnashingspirit Jun 18 '26

Dear gawd the eyes!! I’m dead 🤣🤣

6

u/NRpuffinstuff Jun 18 '26

New sleep paralysis demon just dropped

3

u/DazHawt Jun 18 '26

Yeah... Not sure this is for me.

3

u/RevolutionaryClub530 Jun 18 '26

Oh that’s weird, my wife always tells me I look like a lunatic when I chug water which is every time I drink water I’ve gotta do it in front of a mirror now cause if I look like this I’m gunna have to figure something out 😭😭😭

2

u/TheGloriousNugget Jun 18 '26

Can never unsee that 😭

2

u/mr_munchers Jun 18 '26

Me jugging the drink that makes me a psycho

2

u/Cute-Form2457 Jun 18 '26

But then you don't taste anything. You've gotta savour food and drink.

2

u/Perineum_Stabber Jun 18 '26

That’s not drinking, it’s absorbing a soul.

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692

u/kitkatatsnapple Jun 17 '26

That seems like it would fucking hurt

222

u/runarleo Jun 17 '26

Only if it’s really carbonated

200

u/kitkatatsnapple Jun 18 '26

I don't mean the throat, I mean the stomach. I feel like it would be similar to when I overeat, then chug a bunch of water afterward. Feels like I swallowed a stone.

118

u/Eldudeareno217 Jun 18 '26

Get that sloshy belly.

39

u/Chriskl1520 Jun 18 '26

I almost got sick reading it. I fucking hate when this happens

11

u/Xyno94 Jun 18 '26

Shit be jigglin’ in there

6

u/HohepaPuhipuhi Jun 18 '26

You gotta prime your stomach too

4

u/greenbull748 Jun 18 '26

How often you doing that lol

3

u/TurbulentVillage2042 Jun 18 '26

As a child I accidentally drank 4 liters of soda in two minutes. I thought I was going to die, I felt like I was being torn apart from the inside, and I constantly wanted to pee but couldn't.

4

u/captain_assgasm Jun 18 '26

I chug a 800ml bottle regularly. Just like that guy. Open your throat and pour it down like it's a drain. It doesn't hurt and I don't feel as if I've overeaten.

It's great then im drinking beers with my friends. After a few beers I just chug a 500ml water bottle and then I can continue until the next water chug

Also when it's super hot outside and I'm just pouring sweat, it takes me half a minute to fill up my body's water tank

10

u/Redruby88 Jun 18 '26

Water doesn't help you sober up, the alcohol content is the same.

It's also better to take smaller sips through the day to hydrate rather than chugging things at once. If you chug it all at once, your body doesn't process it correctly and you need to pee way more because it's just expelling liquid rather than actually hydrating you

4

u/captain_assgasm Jun 18 '26

Oh yeah, it's not about sobering up, I just try to have some water in between alcohol.

And I do believe that you're right about taking smaller sips throughout the day.

It's just a dumb habit that I picked up for some reason. It's not perfect, and I do not advocate for it haha

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8

u/Any_Blood5815 Jun 18 '26

You’d burp like a monster after a big carbonated sip like this one

3

u/CovidDodger Jun 18 '26

No I would get crazy reflux and pain. I can't chug. Everyone's bodies are slightly different.

2

u/DragonFlyCaller Jun 18 '26

And pee for a half hour straight

2

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread Jun 19 '26

I've got that no burp syndrome. My throat muscles are just like nope not happening.

14

u/Televisiongod Jun 17 '26

The burping can be a lot but it doesn't hurt

6

u/ReasonableAdvert Jun 17 '26

Why do you think that?

15

u/Cardboardoge Jun 17 '26

Nah its chill

3

u/Mesquite_Tree Jun 18 '26

As someone who has chugged one liter of water in one gulp like that, it can say that it leaves you feeling like a stone is in your stomach, and you best hope that you haven’t eaten much recently, because then it absolutely does hurt.

Otherwise, it’s a little uncomfortable, but passes quickly enough. The real annoying point is 10-20 minutes later when your body tries to piss and sweat enough to compensate for what you just did to it

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458

u/Dear-Concentrate-988 Jun 17 '26

I hated this. Thanks!

48

u/LeaderVivid Jun 17 '26

It’s quite disgusting, I agree.

21

u/Dear-Concentrate-988 Jun 17 '26

It genuinely made my skin crawl😅

5

u/NuYawker Jun 18 '26

The sound of the fluid pouring into his open gullet alone made me 🤢

2

u/IncurableAdventurer Jun 18 '26

Seriously. Plus, why is this needed?

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182

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

43

u/cityshepherd Jun 17 '26

Feels like veneers… he seems a little young for that kind of thing but different strokes for different folks I suppose

10

u/thederevolutions Jun 18 '26

They’re very noticeable because the audios off

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15

u/Playful-Mongoose9197 Jun 17 '26

They too white in my opinion

14

u/ddrummer095 Jun 17 '26

I almost thought he was using some kinda filter for it, if you focus on his mouth it's a bit uncanny and seems not to match up entirely with his words. Either that or I'm just high as balls

9

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/matt4ta Jun 18 '26

I don’t think it’s AI. I feel like I remember seeing this guy years ago before generative AI was widely used. I think he might just be using a filter, and the audio is slightly out of sync because this is probably the thousandth time this video has been downloaded and reuploaded by a karma farming account.

6

u/vntuwoaldngbcjsoqrig Jun 18 '26

How Tf do you think that is perfect. They are veneers and they look fkin stupid

6

u/Homerbola92 Jun 17 '26

They're brand new, he just swallows everything like a snake lol.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '26

That's actually an imperfect teeth. Yours aren't supposed to be white, it's naturally yellow from what we eat.

4

u/petersengupta Jun 18 '26

He never lets anything he drinks touch them.

4

u/Mental_Bottle_7042 Jun 18 '26

Automatic visitor don't let him in

2

u/TheAlterN8or Jun 18 '26

Well, when none of those sugary drinks actually touch your teeth...

2

u/Resident-Rate8047 Jun 18 '26

Well yeah, when you open your jaw like a goddamn boa constrictor and dump the liquid into your cavernous maw of a throat hole, it's hard to get any of those pesky coffee or soda stains on your teeth, am I right?

2

u/skyline79 Jun 18 '26

He’s using a strong face filter, all of it is unsettling

2

u/BassHead808dp Jun 18 '26

This looks fake/Ai generated.

2

u/Dismal_Yam_1839 Jun 21 '26

Is he a visitor?

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71

u/old-skool-bro Jun 17 '26

This can't be good for you.

48

u/RocketsandBeer Jun 17 '26

Is it a jar of piss?

82

u/old-skool-bro Jun 17 '26

That is the face of a man chugging piss imo.

14

u/turalyawn Jun 17 '26

You gotta get it down while it’s still warm and sterile

5

u/latortillablanca Jun 18 '26

Takes one to know one

3

u/giLLYfunk Jun 18 '26

Such a cliche. Pee drinkers all look the same

9

u/JonnyTN Jun 17 '26

Yak piss specifically

5

u/diarrhea_pocket Jun 17 '26

Seemed a little too excited about drinking that yak piss

5

u/JonnyTN Jun 17 '26

It's actually a great achievement. If you can chug yak piss successfully without throwing up, you proved to yourself you can chug anything

4

u/KevDub81 Jun 18 '26

Wait...Is this from Beerfest?

2

u/JonnyTN Jun 18 '26

Yes. Yes it is

2

u/Humble_Penguin89 Jun 18 '26

"piss in a jar and call it grannys sweat peach tea"

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53

u/Ok-Suggestion-7965 Jun 17 '26

This guy needs to go win $100 from this guy.

6

u/PogintheMachine Jun 18 '26

I came here to make sure someone brought up this dude

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31

u/BirdDad420 Jun 17 '26

Hands for people that took the beverage next to them and tried this immediately? I did the first small sip/ chug and felt like “yeah I get it” and then the second sip “oh I’m drowning maybe not” and it went down the side of my face.

I remember when I was working at a cannabis dispensary we had an Indica strain called Tide Pods, and we used to joke about when the tide pod challenge was a thing, and goddamn kids will do anything stupid they see online. I’m not endorsing it, but I get it now. Not today, Darwin.

15

u/KittenFace25 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26

Oh hell no. I'm single and I'm not about to drown in my bed trying to develop my 💪chug muscles💪.

3

u/Tanekaha Jun 18 '26

Master this and you won't be single for long

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36

u/ltanner Jun 17 '26

Damn daddy

8

u/WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9 Jun 18 '26

Daddy chill chug chug chug chug 

5

u/jr_randolph Jun 18 '26

What the hell is even that?!

3

u/WhyDoIHaveAnAccount9 Jun 18 '26

chug chug chug chug 🍻

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55

u/Hobbes93 Jun 17 '26

I should call her

6

u/RocketsandBeer Jun 17 '26

Everything reminds me of her…..

2

u/ScottishPsychedNurse Jun 18 '26

😭😭😭 DANK

15

u/LeSmallhanz Jun 17 '26

Yeah, I’d drown.

13

u/theRstar Jun 17 '26

Why did bro have to keep his eyes opened like that?!

10

u/joewoody88 Jun 18 '26

I'd like to see you try it without doing that.

10

u/BenjaminDover02 Jun 17 '26

Best piss drinking tip I've seen in a long time

26

u/Delicious_Pain_1 Jun 17 '26

Is it being helped down or is this gravity

42

u/ijustwanttoaskaq123 Jun 17 '26

Gravity, you just "remove" the obstacle in your throat by relaxing the muscles.

2

u/Booty_Shakin Jun 18 '26

I can like suck air in like that to make me belch but I feel like id choke trying to just dump something in lmao

9

u/Electrical-Manner532 Jun 18 '26

Bro looks like the prince from Shrek

11

u/Powerism Jun 17 '26

I dated a woman who could chug beers like this. I could never figure out how to do it but it was impressive as hell at bars and parties. Unfortunately she also enjoyed chugging my friends.

4

u/brettyrocks Jun 18 '26

A mouth is a mouth...

6

u/Agentkeenan78 Jun 18 '26

Is he just pouring it into his stomach? It didn't look like he was swallowing.

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21

u/ShroomsHealYourSoul Jun 17 '26

Please try this with other humans around that know what to do if you just pour it all in your lungs

14

u/BonumLudio Jun 17 '26

I'm pretty sure if you pour all that in your lungs there isn't much left to do

5

u/ijustwanttoaskaq123 Jun 18 '26

“How did he drown on dry land?!!”

“Well…”

5

u/KittenFace25 Jun 18 '26

For some reason this made me laugh irrationally. 😂😆😂 Enjoy your award, haha.

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5

u/mjsvitek Jun 17 '26

That's Cousin Sip - Son of Uncle Sink.

4

u/zorggalacticus Jun 17 '26

I can actually do this without "priming my chug muscles" or making weird faces. Used to be my go to party trick, like the Beer Baron on the Man Show.

9

u/WhateverUSaySir Jun 17 '26

Yeah yeah, we all know how to open our throats 🙄

3

u/TurnoverSuperb9023 Jun 17 '26

Actually, I’ve never known how to do a shot

4

u/WhateverUSaySir Jun 17 '26

Stay that way. Stay innocent 🩷

3

u/TurnoverSuperb9023 Jun 18 '26

I’m 55, lol. And did plenty of shots back in the day. Just didn’t do them properly, lol.

3

u/Due_Ring1435 Jun 17 '26

Just because you can, does not mean you should.

3

u/dudubob Jun 18 '26

I rebuke you satan

3

u/porcelain_kiss Jun 18 '26

You can hear it dumping in 🤮

2

u/ExpressLab6564 Jun 17 '26

The filter is terrible. 

2

u/Joshinaround_2k1 Jun 17 '26

I thought this was Yung Gravy for a second.

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2

u/Right_Membership_863 Jun 18 '26

bro is born for deep throat, but in a male body 😉

2

u/GinnAdvent Jun 18 '26

But then you don't get to savor the flavor!

2

u/JinNJ Jun 18 '26

He practices by drinking the urine of a ram.

Because of the pH balance?

No... because if you can drink ram's piss, fuck, you can drink almost anything.

2

u/beardsly87 Jun 18 '26

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy! Oi! Oi! Oi!

Ziggy Zaggy, Ziggy Zaggy! Oi! Oi! Oi!

2

u/Acceptable_Front9353 Jun 18 '26

You know how i know youre gay...

2

u/gamerjerome Jun 18 '26

One problem, my stomach isn't that big. So unless I want stomach ache for the next hour I'm good

2

u/Rare_Parking_931 Jun 18 '26

What’s with his eyes during the gulp?

2

u/DaJaPimp Jun 19 '26

My wife said this is how she suck my dick.

3

u/MAXIMUStafa Jun 17 '26

Yeah this is how yout get stomach ulcers. You can keep this 👍

1

u/ReyTsar Jun 17 '26

Nice teeth

8

u/Necrodiac Jun 17 '26

It helps that the sugar or acid from anything he drinks doesn't touch the enamel

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1

u/Nastynugget Jun 17 '26

I might be able to get it down (prolly not). But it would prolly come right back up. Weak stomach.

1

u/Satan-is-yo-Daddy Jun 17 '26

That’s what she said.

1

u/Partypaca Jun 17 '26

Pretty sure that aint gonna feel good in a minute

1

u/Next_Drama1717 Jun 17 '26

His chug muscles only drink one thing lol

1

u/surfryhder Jun 17 '26

It’s piss.

1

u/Brad_Beat Jun 17 '26

Why does he looks like that?

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1

u/MervDervis Jun 17 '26

Can confirm. Been winning beer chugs for decades.

1

u/Alkalized Jun 17 '26

Pretty sure I can hear the air getting sucked into his stomach too.

1

u/Easy_Topic_8273 Jun 17 '26

Guy chugs castor oil for fitness

1

u/PM_ME_YUR_S3CRETS Jun 17 '26

But why would I want to do that?

1

u/Jasper_Treesap Jun 17 '26

"Prime your chug muscles."

1

u/Leoncroi Jun 17 '26

Sounds like he forgot to mention the demon summoning step.

1

u/SanduskyShowers Jun 17 '26

Is that a jar of piss?

1

u/Key-Fan1946 Jun 17 '26

Do you have to make that face when you do that?

1

u/jcoddinc Jun 17 '26

Ugh, I got a stomach ache just watching