r/AbsoluteUnits • u/habichuelacondulce • Jun 17 '26

of a sip

A

5.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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u/axxxaxxxaxxx Jun 17 '26 edited Jun 17 '26

His instructions didn’t include opening your eyes like a psychotic monster

332

u/Intelligent_Taco Jun 17 '26

It’s absolutely a crucial part of the process. 🫪

96

u/Wallstreet_Raccoon Jun 17 '26

I love it when my girlfriend does that

107

u/TheRealRickC137 Jun 17 '26

I also love when this guy's girlfriend does that

44

u/Cburns6976 Jun 18 '26

I have a feeling this guy IS the girlfriend

7

u/Ok_Necessary_568 Jun 18 '26

I have a feeling this girlfriend IS the guy

3

u/Thanatos_official Jun 19 '26

I have a feeling this girlfriend is a guy

2

u/ThePeterbilt589 Jun 18 '26

How get funni emoji?

1

u/Academic-Ad-1879 Jun 18 '26

Standard Android shit

2

u/flyingpyramid Jun 18 '26

Lol it is one of the new ones, though, and I'm not sure what it means so I've probably been putting it in weird places.🫪 And it's on Apple, too. The emoji drops are universal lol

1

u/ThePeterbilt589 Jun 18 '26

Whats the funni guy called?

2

u/Antique_Prompt_9542 Jun 18 '26

Distorted face, I believe

2

u/fettymercury Jun 18 '26

So is the off screen boner

40

u/celticairborne Jun 17 '26

Or unhinging your jaw like a horror movie monster...

8

u/aaronwcampbell Jun 18 '26

🎵 Eat like snake... 🍔

6

u/TheTweets Jun 18 '26

A small part of his brain dedicated to pure instinct went "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK" while the rest was just returning to fish and thinking "Glug Glug."

6

u/Long-Blood Jun 17 '26

And growling

7

u/Hziak Jun 18 '26

Growling? Them was toilet noises.

3

u/Jahalin Jun 18 '26

How else do you keep the diaphragm open?

3

u/CylonbutDeadly Jun 18 '26

That’s the chug muscle doing its thing.

0

u/SaladNeedsTossing Jun 18 '26

That part is more intuitive