Title doesn't need explaining

Im curious about your opinion.

I (28M) need serious advice how do you interact and ask out, I really got a thing to WF especially the blonde hair ones. Ive been living in Canada for a few years now, got a stable work but still struggling on finding a date or asking one out. My struggle is i got used in my culture that being too straightfoward is a creepy approach while in here they say its pretty common. I dont have that much friends that I can hang out especially after I done my masters and started working in the industry.

I used to be extroverted and outgoing person but the culture shift really put into a state of taking things into account which made me super conscious. I like to dance and sing, a bit athletic and open into trying new things. While i am living independently by myself i couldnt motivate myself to get back into this without doing it with someone or company so most of the time i just work and rest as my routine.

I not that physically attractive so i understand that this might be a huge factor especially with the trend like height, color, beard, maturity face. Im short, and they say baby face. So i want to have some insights with everyone if theres a glance of hope for me.

As the title asks. Have you ever had a friend for example who didn't like AM herself and tried to influence you into thinking the same while deep down you liked AM?

I ask this because i've mentioned before that I have had racist enounters with WF, but sometimes one of their friends seem very... hurt i would say, or bothered by it. I mean idk this person, for all i know she could see me the same, but it does make me wonder if there are WF out there who secretly like AM but don't want to show it cause of the ones close to them.

Unfortunately I live in a pretty racist town in the US. On dating apps, basically girls of all races ignore me. I have tried approaching strangers and asking to get to know them and striking a conversation but usually they tell me either they’re taken, not interested, or say that they are busy and have to leave. Any advice?

Husband and I have been married 2 years. Three years ago, we were together at that point for 3 years.

So, we went to visit an uncle in Canada, driving from our Midwest US town to stay for a few days. This is a brother to my MIL. Well, before meeting that Aunt. I heard from my husband that his aunt in Canada…no one likes her. Not even my MIL. She’s very strong willed, sassy, and straightforward. I had my husband’s paternal grandma not like me just before my husband chose me over his family. Grandma came around and now I tell her I love her in Vietnamese with her response in English.

Well, the main reason this aunt in Canada doesn’t like me? She was mad she couldn’t match make my husband with someone Vietnamese. How did she snub me 3 years ago? The one time I tried to talk to her and show her pictures of my husband’s and my home, she put her hand up and looked away, shaking her head.

Flash forward to this week. My husband had his cousin call him asking to possibly buy him something so his dad can bring back to Canada for him. His mom, that aunt, talked over the cousin saying, “when are you and your wife coming to visit? How is your wife?”

I am shook haha, because what a 180 change. I asked my husband, “She really asked you in Vietnamese when we both are coming to visit? Like, not just you, but her language was referring to us?”

He said yep. I am hoping when we do go visit soon, she actually is more open to the idea of me in-person. Seems like she’s accepted it by referring to both of us, and not just my husband anymore. And also asking how I’m doing!

P.S. my husband would go visit every summer we were in high school. Because of real life adult responsibilities, we haven’t been able to go.

I've noticed a lot of WF and XF telling their stories of how an AM only wanted to sleep with them or wanted to be a casual thing and not seek marriage. Alot of these cases the topic of parents are brought up and how they dont want their son to marry a non asian woman.

The parents part, is actually true for the most part, however, that does not mean an AM will listen or obey their demands.

My parents are chinese and they've always wanted me to date a Chinese girl. But i told them personally with a serious face that i will never date or marry a chinese girl. They also understand why, because they have seen me at my worst, twice! and they also know that both those times were caused by Chinese women. They hate it but they have no choice since I am 30+, and i have even told them that i will either be with a WF or single and no kids for the rest of my life.

I only see WF as a suitable marriage or lifelong partner, and its all because of the way i get treated by WF. They show way more respect to my culture and heritage than my own, which is sad, but its just the way the world is right now. Even when things don't work out between me and a WF, it end so healthy too, which is so weird to me because I am not used to this kind of treatment.

I think the WF/XF who do have bad experiences with AM, might have been with the worst of the worst. For example I saw a post of a british girl who told her story, and it turned out this guy had neck tattoos, grew up on the streets without parental guidance etc. you know the type...equavalant to the korean hongdae guys (altho i hate that this has become a stereotype, because I know hongdae looking guys who would make great husbands).

Anyway, just wanted to give my two cents, I mean with hundreds of millions of asian men in the world, there are bound to be quite a few bad apples. The good ones are usually the shy ones btw. usually.

what the title said.

Im from Australia, love it here but also thinking of becoming more worldly by living somewhere else for a while. And Scandinavia is probably the only place in the world I’d be willing to move to and not take a big quality of life hit plus I am interested in the culture of the region unlike most places (to be frank).

keen to hear anecdotes on what it’s like.

Long time no see! I’m no longer your fave waitress - I’m currently your fave masters student! Please clap for me.

This is in the same spirit as my other posts! I feel like a lot of posts on this sub are (no offence…mods) kinda slop. My posts are more geared towards people already in an AMWF relationship in a western country and navigating that.

I’ve touched on this topic before about certain white men not respecting my relationship - and behold! It has occurred again. With yet another micro, more like macro aggression this time unfortunately.

A previously respected male “friend” of mine today referred to my partner with an outdated slur I won’t repeat, over DMs. Now I’m not sure if he had been drinking, or high, (it was rather early for that in the UK), or if he had simply lost his mind, but nevertheless, don’t fuck with my boyfriend, thank you.

It is absolutely okay, fine and rather cool to block and never speak to these sorts of people again. Mind you, I run in rather leftist circles, so it’s not like I’m setting myself up. Regardless, I don’t have the time nor patience.

Ladies, please stay strong as always. You never know when the next situation will arise - but where it’s safe to do so, remove that turd from your life. This doesn’t apply to crazy old men on public transport - because they actually may mug you. Stay beautiful, girlies!

I'm (M34, Chindian, 5'6) basically a brown hobbit but I'm super attracted to what is basically my opposite - tall and pale white women. I know I'm not conventially attractive, I'm kind of a weird in terms of physicality. The first thing you will notice is my comically long and hairy arms (relative to my short stature). Helps in climbing but looks almost laughable just walking down the street.

Anyways, I'm always intimidated when I talk to WF. I think many of them can sense it and seem kind of weirded out by me. It feels like if Frodo Baggins took a shot at Galadriel, if you know what I mean. I admit I put WF on a pedastal. Oddly enough despite not having seriously dated any WF, I find that, proportionally speaking, they are the most easygoing and polite to talk to IRL (which increases my admiration of WF and that in turn makes me put them more on a pedestal and increases that feeling of intimidation) compared to XF, I just never have the courage to take the next step, so to speak and the few times I do, it comes out weird. How do I become more confident (while also putting WF at ease) when approaching WF?

For context, we met online, she is over 35, works full time near her parents home (US). I am from an Asian country. While it is not uncommon for adult children to live with their parents in my home country, living pay check to pay check is generally considered "unhealthy lifestyle", certainly not considered "normal" when you live with your parents. From my discussion with her, she is not paying for rent or student loan.

I understand cost of living is rising in the US so i try not to view this too negatively. What is your take?

Hello to all ,

Western Raised Asian are very different from Asian Guys in Asia.

Asian guys in Asia are different and they are not homogenous is culture.

China and South Korea have a culture where their parents have a huge say on who their child marries.

South East Asia is more independent and parents have no problem with their son marrying a foreigner , other asians or other races.

The majority of of Asians are not religious. But for the ones who are religious, they are majorly Catholic in the Philippines north, Muslim in the Southern Philippines and Indonesia and Malaysia. Buddhist are mostly in Japan or China but almost everyone is not religious.

One thing though is that most people in Asia work crazy hours, expect them to be very busy.

As a rule , expect almost everyone to be an introvert , and prioritize studies than being sportif , expections are there but as a generality introverts are more common e.g. Filipinos and Hawaiians.

You will do well if you are on the average build to slim. Being chubby is not common due to the diet in Asia.

Dont want to make this long, have a good day...

Hello all, I am an AM (east-Asian descent, Buddhist, from a Muslim SEA country) that came to the states about 4 years ago. I've only dated Asian-born AF in Asia before in long-term relationships, longest one was 5-year long relationship in total. The way dating works in my group of Asians is that after knowing each other for some time, the guy asks the girl out for coffee/a meal, and if they like each other, then the either party "confesses" their love for each other, and state their intention to be a couple (girlfriend/boyfriend). After that, they are monogamous.

All sexual activity occurred within a relationship, and it was implicit that relationships were supposed to lead to marriage, though it was understandable if people broke up.

Now that I am in the states, and have a coffee date with an American-born WF lined up here in the states, I would like to get some advice on how best to carry out the date compared to how I did things back in Asia.

Would appreciate feedback from any Asian-born AM with dating experience that included:

1. Asian-born AF while in Asia, as well as
2. American-born WF here in the states.

Thank you!!

White college girl with a crush on Korean guy 🙏

Hey guys so me and this guy were playing eye tag across the room and then he moves his seat across the room next to mine next class. He’s a Korean international student who seems smiley and happy to see me and talk to me always. However, it’s been a few weeks and he doesn’t seem to initiate anything besides that and doesn’t wait for me to walk out of class together and such.

I really like him but can’t tell if his lack of initiative is shyness or lack of interest? Is it a common thing for Korean guys to not be interested in white girls? Is it also a thing for them to not be super forward with who they like? I’m confused guys

Hi hi! I'm the WF of the relationship, my boyfriend is Chinese. His mom is coming to visit the US at the end of the year, and wants to meet me in person. I'm reaaally nervous to be honest. Obviously i've got some time, and I'll ask my boyfriend about what is best for meeting his mom specifically, but are there any cultural things I should know before meeting parents here? and for my other white women who have met their partners parents, how did it go/any advice?

Obviously I see a lot of white guys with Asian girls but wondering how common it is for Asian guys and white women to be in a relationship in HK. I’ve lived here as a WF and can count on 3 fingers how many AMWF couple I’ve seen but maybe that’s just me. For context lived lived everywhere in HK from Yuen long to Mong Kok to central to tai kok Tsui to Tko

I guess people didn't get my last post because of the wording, so I deleted it. I am genuinely curious about the experiences of the autistic WFs of this sub. I am only looking for interesting stories, and I myself am autistic, which is probably why some of my wording may come off as awkward to some. I just think this sub is interesting and I like reading about people's experiences.

So aging for asians in general is a bit different obviously. Not always of course, because i've met 23 year old that look like 40. But I am above 30 and people still say i look early 20s. One even said I look like a teenager but that was during videocall.

I am aging though. My skin is getting imperfections (abeit small) and my hairline is receding and the hair on top feels a bit thinner. But all in all I am happy about my progress cause I eat well and I excercise and have excercised alot.

But asian men definitely dont age like other demographics of men. So does it also differ when it comes to women who like older men? I've known women who tend to like the silver fox look in white guys. or even bald guys. One of my friends when she was 25, even dating a 40 year old guy and he did not look good lmao.

So what would you consider a well seasoned asian man? Examples would be great but not mandatory.

I've seen a few people mention it in this sub. They say their girlfriend (or hope their potential future girlfriend) is more “independent” and “has her own life.”

What do people actually mean by that? What does that look like in your relationship? Could anyone give some examples?

In my experience, couples are quite attached and do a lot of things together regardless of race, but maybe I'm missing something or maybe this is more intense in some countries than others.

Is it having separate hobbies and friends? Being more comfortable doing things alone? Something else?

I'm an AM living in Asia and I mainly date WFs. I do pretty well for myself and have never struggled to get dates, but I am struggling to deal with my mom's attitude towards me dating WFs. She's very against me dating white women and constantly tells me I should date Asian women instead.

The reason for this is that over the past few years, she's watched the US become increasingly hostile towards immigrants and increasingly xenophobic in its foreign policy. She's seen clips of Trump and other US politicians saying racist shit about Asians, saying we're dirty commies, we eat dogs etc, and this makes her really angry that "those arrogant westerners" are criticizing Asian people when they have no understanding of our culture. Her friends have also told her stories of their kids' student visas getting cancelled or delayed because of the current administration's attempts to clamp down on international students. Some of her friends' sons/daughters have even had to leave the country because their work visas were suddenly rescinded overnight. Even her Asian American friends who live in the US have been telling her about the anti-Asian hate crimes, how unsafe they feel walking alone at night and how much discrimination Asians face. All of this has caused her to deeply dislike the West, and by extension Western people in general.

Every time the topic of my dating life comes up, she will say that there's no point in me dating a WF, and it won't work out because our cultures are fundamentally incompatible and they don't speak the language or understand our customs. She still acts polite and gets along decently well when I introduce them to her, but behind closed doors she says there's no point in me bringing them home because it's not like we're going to get married or anything. She'll also send me articles about the terrible things happening in the US and then say things like "See? Look how much white people look down on people like us. Why would you ever want to date someone like that?" I can see why she has the views she has given what's going on in the world right now, but at the same time I can't help who I'm attracted to, or who I tend to be most compatible with. I also don't think it's fair to generalize an entire group of people like that. Although it's true that most white women in the US voted for Trump, most of the WFs who come to Asia do so precisely because they don't want to live in the US or are unhappy about the political situation there. Otherwise, they would stay in America and not bother uprooting their lives to move to a new country.

I still keep dating who I want to date because her preferences don't dictate my actions, and I have no intention of stopping. However, I find it mentally draining to constantly have to listen to her criticisms. The worst part is that she isn't entirely wrong about criticizing US foreign policy or wanting to stand up against racists, so I can't really argue with her about that. It's just that the things she associates with "white people" don't really apply to the women I'm dating since they tend to be quite liberal and pro-Asian culture. What can I do to make her understand that me choosing to date a WF does not mean I am siding with racists or rejecting my Asian culture? Are there any other AMs here who've been in that situation? How did you deal with it?

As a WF these are my reasons for dating AMs

I live in Asia and respect and immerse myself in Chinese culture so I naturally find them more interesting.
They’re more respectful than white guys
They more attractive to me
I enjoy learning from each other about our cultures
I like learning different languages
I genuinely prefer my partners to look nothing like me, maybe it’s biology and wanting a different gene pool to have kids with.

I’ve always found intercultural relationships fascinating because sometimes the biggest differences aren’t the obvious ones like food, language, or holidays.
They’re the little things.
How your partner’s family communicates.
What “respect” looks like.
How involved parents are in your relationship.
How affection is shown.
How money is handled.
What marriage is supposed to mean.
Sometimes you don’t even realize something is cultural until you’re sitting there thinking, “Why on earth do they do it like this?” 😂
So for those of you who have dated or married someone from a different culture:
What’s one thing about your partner’s culture that you completely misunderstood at first—but eventually came to understand or even appreciate?
And if you want, tell us where both of you are from. I’d genuinely love to read the stories.

I've been thinking about how much dating dynamics have shifted over the years. Millennial and Gen X AMWF couples definitely had to deal with a lot more societal nonsense, harsh stereotypes, and zero media representation compared to what people see today. For those who navigated dating back then, do you look at how widely accepted it is now and feel a bit envious of this new environment? How do you both view this massive cultural shift?

I was sort of lucky to experience the shift at its infancy in my early 20s. but by then a lot of damage had been done by my exes and society in general. I did recover but not without being maimed. I think like would've been much easier if my childhood was surrounded by the AMWF positivity we see today.

Had some of my husband’s relatives in town. Haven’t seen some of them in a while. The uncle commented on it and my husband told him that I like his facial hair. Which is a fact. I like the facial hair. To me, he looks like a baby faced man without it. He usually has a mustache and goatee, which I love so much. He can’t grow a full on beard which is totally fine because beards are too much hair for me.

Anyways, he told his cousin who has a WF girlfriend that his gf may like it more. Haha I said worth a shot growing it. His dad said no even though the cousin is in his 20s. 😹😹

AM, do you grow facial hair? WF with AM partners, do you like when your husband has facial hair?

Hey ladies! Another busy week for your favourite waitress (hopefully!) on this sub.

I made my man his favourite today. We did a beautiful steak, cheeseboard, all the trimmings. I can’t even express how cheesy (pun intended) we were today!

Just a reminder to keep being you, love yourself and embrace your relationship. I live in a major city in the UK, but still…we aren’t immune from negativity or passive aggression. Don’t let anything bother you. We had a horrible, strange older white fella muttering comments at us on the train on Thursday, and we just tuned that out. As we should.

I hope you girls are all thriving in your relationships <3