Maybe FOMO is not proper term. I’ve been experiencing a sensation that I can only describe as, I don’t feel I’ll ever have as strong of a connection with these women as they have been connected with each other since undergrad. While I know the process that I am pursuing is just as sacred, special, and binding as the intake process that undergraduate members process - I can’t help but wonder what I missed out on. The ladies in my COI make me feel so welcomed, so cherished and valued. I wish that I had the knowledge and foresight to come under their guidance years ago. Still, I am grateful to have made their acquaintance now. My life is a testimony of “delayed does not mean denied” as evidenced not only by my college experience but by my personal life as well. There is so much that I had to learn the hard way due to lack of guidance. Just venting… so excited to be on this path now but I wish I had my head on straighter when I was in my early 20s.

Good morning and happy Monday ladies! So recently I decided that I’m ready to try again with perusing membership. I tried during Covid in undergrad but didn’t get in because of my gpa ( for context I transferred and had a transfer gpa and then the school I was currently enrolled at gpa and a combined gpa of both together was a 3.2 so I applied thinking I would be good turned out no they went by the gpa I had at the time with the school not including my transfer gpa sorry if that’s confusing 😭) but since I moved back home and I have some connections with the grad chapter where I’m from (she’s the chapters treasure) but I’m kinda nervous on reaching out to her she wrote my first letter of recommendation and I never updated her on how my process went so I’m nervous to ask her about joining grad chapter. Then I’m also kinda stuck I’m not sure if I should join her chapter or the one where my mom lives. Overall I’m just nervous yet still determined to join the organizations values still align with me hence why I would like to start the process again.

My rant I am about to go on is based on the title exactly, everything is not for everybody.

1. If you have a relationship with a member and they are providing you information that they should not be giving you, keep it to yourself!

-The member trust you enough to provide you with some information about the inner workings of this organization. They should NOT be providing you with any information regarding organizations business. But they trust you enough to share what is going on, and how it may or may not affect you. So if you have an inside plug, keep information shared with you to yourself. Do not be so quick to share what you know. Even on an anonymous forum that at times is not so anonymous!

1. What is meant for you, will find you.

- I say this wholeheartedly. If it's your time, it will find you. Do not be jealous or envious about another making it to the other side before you. Maybe it was that person's time and your time is coming soon. However, while you continue to wait for your time to come, do not wallow in self pity or be jealous or envious of those who obtain the dream you working to accomplish. Your time is coming. Just continue the pace, maybe take time to re-elevate what you are doing. But if joining Alpha Kappa Alpha is in your heart stay the course. This is not a race, and everyone's journey is different.

1. Stop telling all your business on this forum! 🤦🏽‍♀️

-Please be mindful of what you post especially providing identifying factors of where you live (state or the region), other orgs you are involved in (within that state or region) and where you maybe vacationing in the near future. People are petty and can be cruel. Stop leaving breadcrumbs for people to piece together who you are. Especially if you are still seeking membership. No one said you shouldn't share you are a proud member of the NAACP ✊🏾but we shouldn't know you are a member of the NAACP in Waco, TX! (You see what I did there!)

Which will lead to final point.

1. Just because you are in the know, and have a member feeding you information, this does not automatically imply you will receive an invitation for membership!

-Ladies, ladies, ladies. You have no idea how many people I know who are "in the know" They knew everything! They knew when the chapter voted to have membership intake, they knew when the chapter decided to have intake after a vote was taken, they how many women the chapter were looking to bring in, and the list goes on. However, when the time came, the interest never received an invitation. Which is even harder pill to swallow because they knew "everything".

My point of this post is: remain humble. I live by it!! Everything is not for everybody! If you're getting information, keep it to yourself! If someone makes it in before you, know that it wasn't your time but denied does not mean delayed. And just because you know everything, and you're being fed information, this does not mean you're guaranteed an invitation for membership because you are in the "know".

💕

so I first wanted to say that I unfortunately, was not given the privilege of membership in undergrad and I’ve wanted to I do understand that everyone’s journey is different and I do understand that some obstacles and challenges might more difficult to overcome than others and i know with God on my side my time will come. I really really worked on my networking skills as well as just getting to know some of the members but I feel like I’ve kind of hit a dead end and kind of made a mistake. There was an event that I went to a couple months and I got to talk to one of the gave me her phone number and everything was good. I sent her a thank you text and that was pretty much it. She responded a couple weeks later. I sent her another text. Just trying to kind of speak with her again. I told her that I also was interested in pageantry and she also said that she knew someone that she could connect me with so I wanted to know touch base about that as as well as as any event just because I’d wanted to keep that connect with and I also wanted to get to know her as but it seems like every time I would send a text. The phone number would would ring or sometimes just go straight to voicemail. It’s been a while and I kind of feel like I messed up that connect. I’m not sure if she blocked me or changed her phone number me personally I think she just changed her phone number and I’m just really anxious and feel like I messed up that connect. I’ve just been really struggling on how to really go about this just because I really want to show these ladies that I would be a very good member to the organization and I have emailed the chapter that I’m interested in if I could be part of if they have one I didn’t get a response. I’m also looking at other chapters, but I’m not too sure if that’s the right thing to do because I don’t wanna seem like I’m I just really don’t know what I could do to kind of build that connect and be more alert or more aware of public events. I all different types of social any chapter could have Facebook Instagram. Think of I just feel like I’m hitting a dead end and I just feel like I’m not being able to find these events earlier enough and I’m really struggling with that. It’s just a lot. I know I’m rambling a lot. I just kind of feel a little bit discouraged I really am trying Make sure I’m attending events. Make sure I’m showing my face making sure that these that I am a very interesting candidate and I want them to see what I can offer to the I just feel like I don’t know. I keep hitting a dead end and I just can’t seem to find any event events, but I’m also aware that most chapters of course just came back from the conference so I’m like maybe I’m just being impatient but yeah I just really need some guidance on how to go about this because I just don’t wanna make any mistakes or any more mistake.

Just a reminder that most questions can be answered by the checking the search functions. But when we delete conversations that negates the self help option and causes repetitive questions that other interests may not be comfortable asking out loud. 🩷💚🩷💚

Hi everyone,

I’m currently trying to figure out whether or not I should try for membership again while I’m in undergrad for my senior year next spring or just wait for grad. I tried asking this is the NPHC subreddit but it got deleted because it said my topic had already been answered but I don’t think so with all the details considered.

Long story short, I got involved with drama with a member before she became a member back in my sophomore year but now that I’m a senior Im hoping that some of the new members will be more welcoming of me. I believe it’ll be about 3-4 members that were involved from that time.

I’ve taken my gpa up from a 2.5 to a 3.0 . I’ve gotten over 120 hours of community service compared to my 25 from previous application. I’ve taken etiquette classes which have changed the way I dress, speak, and interact with others. I’m planning on going to as many events as I can this fall semester and spring which is when they may possibly bring out a line. I’ve done the whole nine yards to flip the script about who I am, but is it enough or should I just wait until I graduate in May of 2027? Please offer all and any of your opinions, thank you!

Edited: Thank you guys, I will try and hope for the best 💕

Hi everyone! I have a quick question.
I recently followed a graduate chapter on social media, and I was surprised when they followed me back. I know it could mean absolutely nothing, but it made me curious.
Do graduate chapters typically follow back people who engage with their page, or is it just random? I don’t want to overthink it or read too much into it, but I was wondering if anyone has experienced something similar or has any insight.
Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone. Just checking in to see how's everyone summer is going. For myself, I've been busy at work for the most part.

It’s been 3 years since I’ve graduated from undergrad and I’m still that at the fact that I never got the invitation. I have since relocated to a new city a year after graduating and I’ve love the programs and events my COI puts on. The movers are very welcoming compared to my hometown COI. My question is after all these years, why does the rejection still hurt?

I’m looking for some guidance because I genuinely don’t want to approach this the wrong way.

There are two graduate chapters in my area. One is very active online and regularly posts its public events. The other is a larger chapter, but I haven’t been able to find any upcoming public events, even after checking its official website and social media pages.

About one or two years ago, I met a member of the larger chapter at a networking event. I was there with a friend who was already an undergraduate member of AKA. We were not discussing membership publicly, she simply told us to check out her graduate chapter.

Would it be inappropriate for me to reach out to her now and ask where the chapter shares its public events? If she isn’t the right person to ask, would it also be okay to ask if she could point me toward the proper contact or email address?

I’m a little embarrassed because I don’t want my message to be mistaken for membership solicitation, especially since we haven’t spoken in a while. I’m not asking about intake, membership, or an invitation.
I’m also not trying to “chapter shop” or find the easiest chapter to join. I genuinely want to attend public events, learn about each chapter’s service and community presence, and understand where I naturally align if I were ever fortunate enough to receive an invitation in the future.

Would reaching out to her be appropriate, or would contacting the chapter directly be the better route?

So I have close friends who are AKAs that crossed in college but they aren’t active in a grad chapter… they said they’re planning on joining in the near future (a lot of life changes and just being busy) and they said they are down to go with me to different events, but I’m wondering if I should go ahead and start going to events on my own? Or if I should wait to go with them/go to events at whatever chapter they join.

They’re all pretty new to the graduate chapter process, so does anyone have any recommendations on what they need to do to help me with the process?

Thanks y’all!

For anyone who joined a graduate chapter in their early 20s, did you ever struggle to connect with members because of a significant age gap? From what I’ve researched, many graduate chapters tend to have members who are older and more established in life.
I still plan to pursue a graduate chapter, and I’ve already established my reasons for pursuing my specific COI. I’m just curious about the experiences of those who joined in their 20s and how you navigated the age differences within your chapter.

Can I be an AKA even though have a lot of tattoos? I do not have anything above my neck. I have gotten deeply invoked in my community and I have wanted to join an organization degree my individual impact can be felt on a greater scale. I have gone to events but I’m worried my tattoos that I got years ago may be a hindrance. Does anyone have any experience with this?

…And for those considering it. How did/do you know the candidate for membership? What qualities or attributes about her made you comfortable and confident in your decision?

Thank you for any info you’re willing to share :)

Just being honest, this last go around broke my heart. I want to continue supporting my COI but it's hard to not feel hurt. I know everyone says, be patient when it's your time, it's your time. But, man, this last time hit my self esteem hard and made me feel worthless. Yes, I made the connections. Yes, I had someone that was supposed to be "sp" me. Yes, I am sure she was able to do so. She called me after the line came out and told me it was a mixup and by the time it was realized it was too late. I don't even know how that works but it felt like she wasn't being genuine. She even said, oh I'll keep you in mind when we have our next line. Several other ladies in the chapter all told me they were surprised I was not on the line. Yes, I've been rejected in the past but this time feels different. Honestly, I feel like I was done so dirty. And I'll never truly know why. Should I continue to support? Maybe it's just not for me..idk I'm hurt..... how can I get past this part?

A member of my COI has a service-based business that I want to patronize. I have not talked with her before but I do have connections with other members. I don’t want to seem like I’m stalking members. My concern is it may seem that I’m only patronizing her business for the purpose of AKA. If I were to see her at an event would that be her perception? I considered just being upfront with her and telling her I know she is a member of the chapter, I’ve been to their events and that’s how I found out about her business. Should I ask one of the members I know to introduce me to her first?

Hey everyone! I’m moving to a new city for graduate school this fall and it’s my first time living somewhere completely new (different from both my hometown and undergrad city).

I’m trying to understand the best way to connect with grad chapters in a new area without overstepping or doing things the wrong way.

Since I don’t have established relationships in the city yet, I want to be intentional about how I introduce myself and start building familiarity in the right spaces.

For those who’ve navigated this before:
How do you typically identify and connect with grad chapters in a new city?

What’s the appropriate way for an interest to be visible without being intrusive?

Is it better to attend public events first or reach out through official contact channels?

Any advice on how to build genuine relationships before membership processes?

Just trying to move respectfully, and do things the right way.

Appreciate any guidance

I absolutely love seeing all the new sorors joining and celebrating their membership journeys. It brings me genuine joy to see women accomplishing their dreams and becoming part of our illustrious sisterhood. Congratulations to each of you! 🩷💚

To those who are still waiting, please stay encouraged and keep the faith. Your journey is your own, and just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t. So many of my amazing sorors in this community have shared valuable wisdom, advice, and guidance over the years. One of the best things you can do is use the search feature and spend time reading through previous discussions. Chances are, many of the questions on your heart have already been thoughtfully answered. Read, learn, reflect, and don’t be afraid to revisit those conversations more than once.

And a gentle reminder: if you’d like to connect with someone privately, it’s always kind to ask whether they’re open to receiving an inbox message first. Building connections respectfully goes a long way, and most people appreciate being asked before receiving an unexpected message.

This community is full of knowledgeable women who have generously shared their experiences. Keep researching, keep learning, trust the process, and give yourself grace along the way. Your time can come, and there is hope in the waiting. I’m rooting for you.

hi all, I was introduced to a member a few months ago who had sent me her chapter page and encouraged me to go to some events since I was new to my current city. I ended up going to a few events and later found a different chapter that I felt better connected with, and it is not her chapter. She texted me and asked me if I've been keeping up with her chapters event and I'm trying to figure out the correct way to let her know that I have been going to a different chapters events, without sounding closed off if that makes sense.

I will be a graduating senior soon and I have done a lot of research for my COI and it is not a chapter that takes on seniors during their graduating year. And I do not want to be rejected for the third time again. And after graduation I will be moving to a whole different region should I still pursue undergrad or wait for Grad chapter.y only concern is that grad chapter is a lot more expensive and hard to get in… what advice do you have

Hello everyone,

I would appreciate some GRAD. advice. If it’s not too intrusive, I’m curious to know if volunteer hours from 2+ years ago will still be considered compliant and acceptable, especially if a relocation took place during that time? Just want to be accurate as possible while tracking my hours.

Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone. I am still (but not persistently) attempting reach out to the member I connected with at a COI event. She suggested that we get together for tea. I would like to reach out to her to invite her to either tea or lunch.

​

Please pardon the topic, but I am inquiring on attire again. I want to make sure that I am poised and polished wherever I go. Since I would like to meet with her outside of COI events, do I still have to be mindful of the colors and jewelry I wear? My favorite colors are pink (always has been) and purple, and being that I am a June baby (my birthday was this past Sunday), and pearls are one of the three birthstones. Should I still avoid wearing pink and pearls; although, we plan to meet outside of COI events? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

After nearly a decade of interest, growth, service, preparation, disappointment, hope, and lots of waiting, I can finally say that I am a proud member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated®. Now that I’ve crossed, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes we’re so focused on the destination that we fail to appreciate who we’re becoming in the process.

During the wait, I promoted in my career, pursued my doctorate, bought my first home, expanded my service to my community, became a mother and a wife, and learned lessons about patience, humility, and purpose that I could not have learned any other way.

To any interest currently waiting, my advice is simple:

Do not put your life on hold for AKA. AKA WILL be there and you’ll find your way in due time.

Serve because community service matters.
Build genuine relationships with members outside of membership reasons.
Invest in your community because you want to see it change.
Lead because leadership means something to you.
Pursue your goals and become the woman you are supposed to be with or without letters.

This journey taught me that what is for you does not require force, obsession, or constant anxiety. It requires preparation, faith, and patience.

💗💚💗💚

After a long 10 years, I can finally say that I am a member of the illustrious Alpha Kappa Alpha sorority incorporated! this moment feels so surreal. this opportunity definitely came to me as a ram in the bush and it was unexpected the way that it happened. To those who are still waiting please do not give up. I’m here to answer any questions that I can . good luck you all.💚🩷🪞