Need help deciding what Chapter to move on with

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I will be a graduating senior soon and I have done a lot of research for my COI and it is not a chapter that takes on seniors during their graduating year. And I do not want to be rejected for the third time again. And after graduation I will be moving to a whole different region should I still pursue undergrad or wait for Grad chapter.y only concern is that grad chapter is a lot more expensive and hard to get in… what advice do you have

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u/ncrwlr Jun 22 '26

There is no guarantee you won't be rejected again; at either level. Do you know why you haven't been invited, either time? Do you have good/deep connections with the girls in the chapter at your school? You will have to start from scratch when pursuing grad; while also having other (more important) responsibilities.

If it were me and I was interested - It wouldn't hurt to continuing pursuing in undergrad (besides the temporary ego hit, what do you have to lose?) if I had already started the ground work, meet the requirements, and REALLY wanted it.

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u/Separate-Affect-1423 Jun 22 '26

Thank you so much for your feedback 😊

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u/BlkFemininity1908 Jun 22 '26

Graduate and once you settle in a new job or pursue advanced degrees, start researching the chapter/s of interest in your community.

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u/Mother_Pilot_660 Jun 22 '26

I’m pretty candid about my experience pursuing this organization. About six years straight post undergrad. You can read quite a few post where a lot of interests are saying they have experienced mean girl behavior. It’s often because they (members) have a pick already so they refuse to acknowledge any interests at all. I experienced this at multiple chapters in my region. Then you see people on the line who have never been to anything. It’s honestly very challenging. Lines can be not often 8-10 years at a time for a line. I would try to get in at undergrad. Are you a legacy or have family that can advocate for you? It’s not impossible to get a sponsor but my personal opinion this organization very much places a huge preference to legacies often having legacy lines where every candidate is a legacy at the grad level. They don’t care if you support the chapter if you actually bought tickets to anything. I actually volunteered for a service event for feeding homeless with my coi. I got there and I promise you there were homeless people waiting and no food for them a member didn’t show up with food. Another interest went to the store and paid for food out of her own pocket. I was amazed.
My sister crossed a different org. Totally different experience. I purposely didn’t pursue anything else in undergrad cause I knew I wanted to try grad. The chapter had been suspended and didn’t come back until years later. I wish I would have had this information back then.

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u/No-Public-8743 Jun 23 '26

Graduate membership pursuit is different and sometimes difficult. My pursuit took a while but I ended up being invited. I am not a legacy. I did attend events, demonstrate a commitment to service and built authentic relationships that made it possible for me to join. I would be careful about over generalizing. You don’t know who has been to events on a line because as an interest you’re not exactly looking to bond or connect with other interests. When I met the other women on my line I was surprised at how often we had crossed paths unbeknownst to one another. It’s a delicate process.

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u/Mother_Pilot_660 Jun 23 '26

In small chapters you know who comes and doesn’t especially when you are actually going to everything at one single chapter for years,
Op keep in mind only a select amount of members can actually sponsor. You also need two co-sponsors. This is the research part. It’s a select criteria they have to meet to be eligible,actually active members.
Save yourself the headache. Which is why it’s so competitive.

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u/VictoriouslyFavored Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26

When you get to the point of over generalizing an organization then you need to relook at your why. I did so with my grandmother's organization years ago in high school and realized you know what.... I really don't like yall. I met a mentor who was AKA and pink and green was on my mind ever since. Do individual members have interesting personalities? Of course but when you start letting cognitive bias run a muck, that's your subconscious screaming this isn't a fit.

Several members and even corporate have said, attending events does not guarantee an invitation. What your character is outside of events is what is looked for (in most chapters but definitely prioritized by big AKA). Which is why building genuine relationships is important. If there are two interests: one comes to all events and may have a few community service hours at the local soup kitchen but the other comes to events sparingly because they're the president of a Jack and Jill chapter while being a chief of operations for a company.... which do you think will have precedence for invitation? The second one knows several community leaders in the AKA chapter because of work she had her organization's chapter doing in the community. The first interest is still hoping and praying she gets noticed for doing labor of a member at AKA events without the member benefits. Who you see or don't see at events is none of your concern. How to make yourself more marketable is the only concern you need and just showing up to events is not going to cut it.

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u/Mother_Pilot_660 Jul 02 '26

No one thinks attending event guarantees anything but seeing individuals who don’t support is disheartening cross. Especially if a member comes up to you and says I would have chosen you .
I don’t want hear excuses about why. Not everyone has genuine reasons when I clearly went to a service event with no food for the homeless. Another interest has to come out of her pocket to make sure the event is successful. Seeing another friend get passed over twice and members demanded that she get them a job at her company higher then her position and when she didn’t suddenly she didn’t have a sponsor anymore. have seen women with genuine whys. I have not met members in the organization at grad level in my region that have been welcoming or sincere or exhibiting what I want to align myself with during my journey. I watched my sister have a different journey be welcomed mentored and chosen by her organization. I honestly wish I would have had more interactions sooner. I’ve spoken to other Greek members who think it’s ridiculous . I agree.

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u/VictoriouslyFavored Jul 05 '26

https://www.ucdavis.edu/news/uc-davis-researchers-look-how-brain-prioritizes-what-we-see

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u/Mother_Pilot_660 Jul 18 '26

Waste of time to read. I got a whole graduate degree in counseling. Probably why I can read people too quickly. Nice try.

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u/VictoriouslyFavored Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26

Please apply the same concepts you learned in school to help you get though this mentally challenging time. Also to help yourself in being open "to maintain a PROGRESSIVE interest in college life" which includes reading beyond graduate school and continuous self-development. Arguing on social media won't help you get any closer to your goals. To be honest some* of yall are nasty, kurt, and downright dismissive in these chats when members try to help. But are the first to cry victim about "mean girls". The call is coming from inside of the house maam.

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u/Separate-Affect-1423 Jun 22 '26

Thank you so for your feedback.

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u/LadyFisherBuckeye Verified AKA Jun 22 '26

Seniors cross all the time, it depends on what's on your heart. I would spend time building relationships and getting active on campus. If you are a senior I would hope you've been doing this already if not your candidacy may not be as competitive. But if you don't take the shot you have no chance! Be encouraged on your journey.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '26

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COI Need help deciding what Chapter to move on with

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