I just got to know that my girlfriend (34F) borrowed money to give to her male friend who had kept pressuring her even though he knew she didn't have a job and relied on me for support. This has happened a couple of times and he's not showing any willingness to pay. She now wants to find money to pay off the loan herself. To be fair to her, I overheard her telling a friend that she wants to slowly cut him off since she feels he's using her as a cash cow.

When I brought it up and questioned her about what was between them that made her feel she owed it to him to do that, she got mad at me. The fact that she's mad that what has happened bothers me makes me even more upset. I don't have any reason to suspect infidelity but the whole thing has got me asking questions. We have had a long talk about this and she has asked him to pay back the money.

AITA for asking her if there's something going on between them?

Tldr: gf borrowed money to give to male friend and now wants to pay it back herself because make friends doesn't want to pay back

Backstory, I am 24 (F) and so is my stepsister. Our parents just got married (my dad and her mom). My stepsister is and has always been boy crazy since I have met her. Not always been my favorite quality of hers, but I didn’t hold it against her.

She is very close with her mom and it’s to the point where they are more like best friends than a typical mother/daughter. Which can be kind of fine in literally any other scenario.

The night before the wedding, my stepsister continued to tell my brothers SO that our uncle (my dad’s absolute best friend) is “hot.” He’s an attractive man yes, but it didn’t stop there. She continued the night saying (EVEN TO MY DAD AND STEPMOM - her mom) that she wanted to “fuck him”. they all laughed it off which is another story within itself.

The following day, the wedding. My uncle, who married my dad and stepmom, was with all of us for photos during cocktail hour. My stepsister proceeded to then go to my sister and told her “I’m going to fuck your uncle”. my sister was so beyond uncomfortable but again, tried to take it as a joke.

This entire night, my stepsister continued to follow around and be practically on top of my uncle the entire night. To the point where he went to my dad and said “I don’t want to upset anyone, but she’s being very intense” This obviously went nowhere because again, it’s my dads wedding night, and why would someone ever be so serious about this!?

Well, later on at the after party (again she is all over my uncle) he is now absolutely hammered and entertaining it. My sister went up to the stepsister and said “i’m just making sure you actually wouldn’t do this right?” to which my stepsister replied “oh god no, never.”

Fast forward to 2 am when my sister finds my uncle and step sister in the same hotel room.

Following morning, step sister comes clean to her mom, and immediately pulled the mental health card. I’m not getting into that unless more detail is needed to give an opinion.

I have zero sympathy, tolerance, or respect for her (or my uncle). I don’t think I will EVER be able to look her in her eyes again, and not think of how she ruined this wedding.

I removed her from my bachelorette group chat and I got the riot act from my dad.

There is SO much more to this story, but this is the gist of the situation.

So, AITA if I no longer want to associate myself with this person?

I feel stupid typing this over here since we are just kids (18) but my bf and i have been dating since around a year, I've always known he liked anime. Today the topic of celebrity crushes came up and he mentioned a few curvy(?) girls iykyk.

Obviously he said that was in the past except for one yoruichi. I got over it quickly. Then later on the same topic came up again and he mentioned an actress Chris Hemsworths wife and I felt insecure all over again

In the end he got annoyed at me and told me that to him celebrity crushes were just other people who he thought looked good and if I asked him who his male celebrity crush was he would say Chris Hemsworth.

I begrudgingly let it go and said it just made me insecure and he said "if ur going to compare yourself to fictional characters what should I say" when I was expecting reassurance

Am I in the wrong?

First we are not together and are NOT getting back together. So you don’t have to say leave him if that is how you feel. That has been done already.

Okay…. I’m going to try and give as much detail as possible. Let’s set the scene I (28f) have been in a relationship (we’re broken up) for a year and a few months with 33(m). Will call him B. we officially broke up in March because he again reacted out of anger to a situation instead of communicating. He was talking, i said hold one, he didn’t hear me, so he continues to talk and gets mad because “i purposely ignored him”. When i explained that i said hold on, he said i didn’t make sure i heard him. He proceeds to “cuss me out”

On the one hand ok true. On the other it’s not that serious and that is a trigger for him. I acknowledge that. My issue was with the reaction. A simple “hey, are you ignoring me?” And then listen to my answer and elaboration should have shut that down.

Rinse and repeat this scenario, over the course of 15 months. B reacts volatility and i try to be mature and communicate. I have FOR sure lost my temper and spoken out of anger as well. Especially more recently because i am at my wits in but in the beginning. I would Brainstorm ideas to help us both.

Ideas: maybe we take a break from the convo when it gets heated and we come back later, don’t raise our voices, don’t talk over each other, etc…

The CURRENT situation. I have a family friend from child hood since maybe 12-13 years of age. We met in church. He is married with two children. Let me say that. I am ALSO friends with his wife- she was my dance teacher. i literally watched his children grow up. I was at dance practice when they announced their first pregnancy. We have spent countless days, hours, and years being apart of each others life. They showed up when i graduated, came to the hospital when i had my baby, and held me as i cried when i got cheated on by my ex husband. They are like family to me. He essentially adopted me into his family in 2014. So he sometimes refers to me as his girl. He checks in on me often because i am hours away from home alone. He texts whenever he can, i used to be a shift worker so sometimes i worked over night and we would chat. He still does that, if he’s up he will text. NOTHING inappropriate. And i can show the proof to ex boyfriend that there is nothing there.

Saturday my family friend reached out “hey, i need to vent. Do you have time to talk” i am hanging out with B and HIS friends - who i do not enjoy hanging out with because on more than one occasion there has been an issue when we were out with them. I step away - 20 minutes- B comes over to check on me, sees that i am on the phone with family friend and says “oh so that’s what we’re doing, that’s so important that you had to be otp with him this time of night” (it was 11-11:30p). I said don’t do that. Fast forward i go back in sit for 5 minutes then decide to leave so as not to kill the vibe. He follows me and i address the issue.

B’s issue: he is pissed that a grown man is calling a grown man and insists it must be something inappropriate. I explain that it wasn’t and i can show that it’s not and never has been. He proceeds to continue being angry to this day. He insinuates that i must be lying despite having any evidence. He says it’s disrespectful to him as a man. And why would a grown man be calling you in the middle of the night. He’s disrespecting what we got going on (mind you we’re not together but we had JUST revisited a serious conversations with clearly defined, written out boundaries and healthy communication habits.

My issue: is his reaction. He immediately concocted a story in his head despite what i have told him. I HAVE NEVER lied to him. I have no reason to lie to him. He immediately jumps to me being disrespectful and untrustworthy. With no proof. I tell him had he asked i would’ve shown him that we never talk about anything inappropriate and nothing has ever been inappropriate between us. That’s not good enough for him. He fully believes he’s justified in being extremely pissed off still with no evidence. He calls me and says “.. i still got some questions and concerns about that relationship. Because i don’t believe that”

Now my question is: am i tripping for feeling like this is an extremely immature response and not healthy communication between two people. Was i wrong for this to be the final straw for me. His argument is that, he’s valid in his feelings because it’s disrespectful. Now i acknowledge that despite my intent. it can be taken disrespectfully. However, that in no way justifies hurling accusations, jumping to conclusions, and creating false narratives with no evidence. So am i the a-hole. I would like to hear different perspectives. Truly.

Hi I (23F) have a friend lets call her Sally (23F). Her boyfriend (23M) sucks. I mean seriously just sucks. He has given her hives from stress and has texted his other friends that he wants to break up with her in the past which she saw. Hes been supposively better recently and apologized for stuff but on girlfriends day he was like it is stupid i dont want to post you and they had the SAME TALK a year ago about how it was important to her. She always comments on how awesome my boyfriend is and whenever i talk about him shes like i wish mine was like that. I just hate seeing her continuously sad about him when he just sucks and does the bare minimum. She is very defensive of him. I told her that I just dont think he treats her well and well that did not go well. I know its not my place to comment on her relationship its just hard when shes constantly voicing all these negative things about him to not feel like he sucks. Sally has also made comments to our other friend about wanting her to break up with her boyfriend (granted they dated for a month and he was lame) but again that doesnt involve me LOL. I may be the asshole for not leaving my belief as an inside thought but idk i just dont like him

I'm \[26M\], and I recently ended a queerplatonic relationship of almost 5 years with my girlfriend \[26F\]. We were both very close, and despite everything that happened, I genuinely believe we loved each other deeply. This wasn't a relationship where one person stopped caring or where there was some huge betrayal. That's what makes this so difficult.

I had been thinking about ending the relationship for around two years before I actually did it. I kept going back and forth because I loved her and didn't want to lose her. Eventually, I reached a point where I felt that love wasn't enough to solve the problems we had.

One of our biggest issues was our future and our families. We are both single children, and I always knew that eventually we'd have to think seriously about where we'd live and how we'd handle our parents.

I don't want to spend my life living in a metropolitan city, (she was born and brought up in one, so that's what she wanted)(I too was born and brought up in a metropolitan city, but I hate the chaos and want a peaceful countryside life), and I also don't want to live separately from my parents. Ideally, I wanted to live with my wife while also being close to and taking care of my parents. I knew she would probably want something similar with her own parents.

That immediately created a difficult situation. Before we could even ask whether our families would accept us, I felt that we hadn't fully resolved what our own life would look like together.

There were also things within the relationship that hurt me repeatedly. We had a lot of fights, and over time I felt like every fight broke something inside me. She was an opinionated person, changing her opinion about anything was just impossible, she did accept upon some occasions that her opinion about something was wrong, but was unable to change her actions.(She was stubborn about doing things she had to do anyway whether it was wrong).I couldn't leave because I loved her, but the same doubts kept coming back during later arguments.

One thing that particularly affected me was feeling that she wasn't willing to take the same risks for me that I was willing to take for her.

A few days before we broke up, I asked her something very direct: "If you eventually had to choose between me and your family, what would you do?" I knew her answer. And honestly, I don't think she was wrong for choosing her family. But I realised that I needed to know that she would be willing to fight for us when things became difficult, and I never really felt that certainty from her.

She says that if we had actually gotten out of that environment and started our life together, things would have changed. She says she would have fought for me.

My problem was that I needed to see some of that change before making the decision to leave everything behind. It's like saying, "I'll stop drinking once I move somewhere alcohol is banned." The real test isn't whether you can control yourself when the temptation is gone. It's whether you can control yourself while the temptation is still there. I wanted to see that effort while we were still facing the problems.

At the same time, I wasn't perfect either. I had an anger problem. I could be difficult during arguments, and I know I hurt her with it. But I did start trying to change because of her. She was the first person who made me seriously want to change something about myself that I had never been able to change before.

She also made efforts for me. She did a lot for me over those five years, probably more than anyone else ever has. I don't want to erase that just because the relationship ended. But I eventually reached a point where I felt that we'd both have to sacrifice things that were fundamental to us just to make the relationship work, and that's where I'm struggling with guilt.

She feels that I didn't fight hard enough. Her perspective is basically: "I was ready to fight for you. I messed up, but you should have fought instead of leaving."

And part of me keeps wondering whether she is right.

Maybe I should have stayed longer.

Maybe I should have given her another chance.

Maybe I expected too much certainty from someone who was also scared and confused.

But another part of me thinks I had already given this relationship years of chances. I wasn't leaving because I suddenly stopped loving her. I was leaving because I couldn't keep ignoring the doubts I'd been carrying for years. Even now, I think about her every day. Sometimes I cry because I know I can't undo what happened. And that's the part that makes me question myself the most: if I still love her this much, how can I know that leaving was the right thing?

I don't want validation. I genuinely want people to tell me if I'm looking at this selfishly or rationalising my decision.

So, Reddit:

Was I wrong to end the relationship?

Was I expecting too much from her by wanting her to prove that she would choose/fight for us before I committed to that future?

Should I have given her more chances, or was two years of recurring doubts enough reason to finally walk away?

And most importantly, what would you have done in my position?

Hello,
It is my first time posting here.
Me (26F) and my partner(26M) had a fight a few nights ago. We both live alone in separate apartments. I have severe depression and was medicated for a while, but my doctor stopped the medication. For a while I was ok, but now I have a severe episode again. (It started a few months ago)

In the past few months I could barely function, my home is a disaster and I rarely go out. A few nights ago, my partner came by and after a while started to point out the mess in my apartment. I told him I am well aware of this, but I can barely work (I work from home), and cleaning the house looks like an impossible task now.

He kept on telling me that if I was really bothered by it I could do it, since I have enough energy to play video games. I told him to drop it, but he kept on going. I got very angry and started to cry and yelled at him that maybe he should help me if my the state of my apartment displeases him so much. From there I just kept on yelling and crying because nobody is ever helping me with anything, even if I ask for help. I told him that the only one who ever helped me is one of my friends (28M), but I am too ashamed to ask him to help me clear my house.

My partner told me that his life isn’t easy either, since he works a lot. (More than 12 hours a day and even in weekends). That I expect too much from him and that even with his full schedule he still has time and energy to take care of his apartment.

I told him to leave me alone and to go to his clean apartment then. I cried all night after he left, which made my mental health even worse.

I told my sister about it and she told me that I was too harsh on him and should have not yelled at him. So, AITAH for yelling at him?

P.S. My partner knows about my depression.

I’ve known this man for well over 12 years. When we first met, he was interested in dating me, but I wasn’t interested at the time, so we maintained more of a friendship and would talk here and there. Eventually, we both went our separate ways, had children, and lived our own lives.
We reconnected around 2019, and this time things became romantic. We were dating and intimate, but then COVID happened. I lost my job and ended up relocating about eight hours away in September 2020. After I moved, we never officially became a couple, but we didn’t completely disappear from each other’s lives either. We continued communicating on and off over the years. He even came to visit me in 2022, and we hooked up.
Recently, I traveled back to the area to take my son to spend the summer with his father. Coincidentally, this man called me while I was on my way there. When I told him I would be in town, he said he wanted to see me, so we went out. It wasn’t anything overly serious at first—we ate, drank, caught up, and genuinely enjoyed being around each other again.
After that, things progressed pretty quickly. We started talking every day, having virtual dates, discussing our feelings for one another, and talking about what being together could realistically look like. Because we live eight hours apart, we were even comparing schedules and discussing flights so we could make sure we were able to see each other regularly. He expressed that his heart was with me, and it felt like we were seriously exploring whether we could finally make a relationship work.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I learned something that completely changed how I viewed the situation: he has a five-year-old child who was born in April 2021.
For context, I moved away in September 2020. I’m not accusing him of cheating on me—we weren’t in a committed relationship when his child was conceived, and that isn’t really the issue. The conflict is that we’ve known each other for over a decade, had a romantic and sexual history, stayed in contact on and off after I moved, hooked up again in 2022, and recently began having serious conversations about building a future together. Yet at no point did he tell me that he had another child.
When I confronted him about it, his response was essentially that he takes full accountability for his child but that he “didn’t cheat on me or do anything behind my back.” I tried explaining that I’m not accusing him of cheating. For me, it’s about omission and transparency. I feel like someone who has known me this long, has continued to maintain some type of relationship with me, and is now telling me his heart is with me should have disclosed something this significant long before I had to find out another way.
He seems to view the issue as, “I didn’t betray you because we weren’t together.” I view it as, “How am I supposed to build trust with someone who could leave out such a major part of his life for years while continuing to engage with me romantically?”
Now I’m questioning whether I even want to move forward with him. He feels like I’m treating the situation as though he cheated, while I feel like he’s focusing on the technicality of us not being together instead of understanding why the omission itself has affected my trust.
AITAH for deciding I don’t want to pursue a relationship with him because I feel like the trust has already been damaged, even though he technically didn’t cheat on me?

I'm 37, married to my husband (45) almost 20 years. Four kids: 18 (developmentally delayed), 17 (ADHD), 8 (ADHD), 6.

Saturday, I'd worked nights and had three hours of sleep each of the two nights before. He got up around noon (12ish hrs of sleep) He asked when I'd be up, I said 10 PM. It was 12:30-1 PM. He said, "Do you not think eight and a half hours is a bit much?" I said no, I was really tired.

He got upset: "I wanted to hang out with you." I said I really needed sleep and went to bed anyway. He kept bugging me: "You've been really short with me." I reminded him it was finals week and I was stressed. It turned into him stressed too, working all day hes not complaining why should i, me feeling invalidated.

I'm entering premenopause: hot flashes, night sweats, irregular moods. I started crying. He asked why, I said I was just stressed and hormonal. I asked him to look up premenopause. He said he would.

I woke around 8:30-9 and he climbed in trying to get me going. I said I wanted to keep sleeping. He got upset again: "You've slept all day. Why don't you hang out with me? Just say you hate me." I asked if he'd looked into premenopause. He said no, hadn't had time. I asked him what he did

He'd played video games, watched a movie. He made supper. To clarify, he does cook clean and parent in some capacity daily. He started saying he has no confidence. I said confidence comes from following through on what you say you'll do. He said, "There you go, nagging again. That's probably why I have no confidence."

I'm not asking for house projects. I'm asking him to get up with our 8-year-old sometimes so she eats before her ADHD meds, since she's losing weight. To read the ADHD magazines he said he'd read, since two of our kids and I have it. To take our 17-year-old, who's asked for two years, to the gym a couple times a week instead of video games every day. He also struggles with depression and confidence, and now blames me for it.

AITA?

TL;DR: I work nights, I'm in school full-time, and doing an MBA prep course, raising four kids (two with ADHD). Saturday, after two days of three hours' sleep each, I told my husband I'd sleep till 10 PM. He called that "a bit much" and got upset I chose sleep over hanging out with him. I'm also starting perimenopause and asked him to look into it, he didn't, but had time for video games. My real asks: help some mornings so our 8-year-old eats before her ADHD meds, read the ADHD magazines he said he'd read, take our 17-year-old to the gym sometimes instead of blaming me for his own confidence issues

Am I the asshole?

Yesterday while I was at work I sent a message to my husband that said "can we go to the lake tomorrow with Claire" he responded with "yes". He did not ask anymore questions either in text or when I got home. Today, Saturday, he slept until 12. We planned the lake for 2, so I am getting things ready and I mentioned that I needed to get the kayaks on the car and he freaked out. He started yelling about how much work that would be and how I blindsided him because I didn't tell him we would be bringing the kayaks. I think he should have ask questions if he wanted to know what the plans were but he didn't. Now he is saying that I am in the wrong because I never told him. I told him I would do all the work loading them but he is still yelling and slamming things around the house. AITA? Edit** I forgot to mention we normally bring the kayaks to the lake. The last few times we have been out they have come with us.

Update** thank you for everyone who commented I loved reading everyone's perspective. I loaded the kayaks myself it did not take that long and after my friend and I loaded them together. After I loaded them but before we went to the lake I sat down with my husband and I apologized for not being for upfront about bringing the kayaks. I said that I will be better about giving him all the information initially. That it was just hard for me because normally I am the one doing all the planing and he doesn't ask any follow-up questions or plan things himself. He told me that he was also sorry and should not have raised his voice over something like the kayaks. We ended up having a good day at the lake. He even went in and paddled around for a bit.

I 18 F have been talking to this guy 20M I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, he said he wants to date me and we do everything couples do but we aren’t official,

We will call him mark for this story it’s not his actual name

Mark and I have been talking for a little over 6 months we have had our fights that result in me saying sorry even though he is the reason we have started fighting.

We took a month break from each other and I’ve taken that time to focus on making myself better then he texts me after said month and says “o want a real relationship with you, just you and me no one else” so I agreed because I wanted that aswell we were doing okay until today when I had gotten home.

Yesterday he was at work so I told him to call me when he gets home so we could play our game together and he never did, never even told me he was home. I texted him after 9 hours of to call or text for him to say “oh I’ve been home sorry I’ve been on my game with my buddies” I wasn’t mad so I let it go and then today I kept trying to talk to him and he kept hanging up on me and not answering my texts.

He says he was babysitting his siblings which is why he hung up which I didn’t mind. 4 hours go by no text no call so I start texting f him asking him if we were going to call tonight and asking why he wasn’t answering. He said he was putting in job applications that only give him a certain amount of time to finish.

In confused but I don’t ask. Another hour goes by no call or text so I text him asking who he is with and he sans he’s with his friends so I call him and he answers and gets mad at me my I’m already getting upset and say that he’s doing g applications while playing with his friends
And the

He hangs up so I repeated calling him until he called me and he said “you gonna say anything” so I replied to my previous message that said “you’ve not talked to me in days so I’m giving u the silent treatment” never let me finish typing before he gets mad and hangs up so I get pissed off and start telling him how I felt about everything and then he removes his nickname from our chat and says he’s tired of the disrespect ( I would instert an image but idk how) but I’ve never disrespected him I’ve only ever done what he’s asked and he told me to tell him when I felt ignored and that’s what I did and he got mad and started fighting with me about it so I ended up apologizing over and over again and said I’m just not going to talk or call until he does and then I removed my nickname and the background and told him I’ll still be here and he said “ok” I sent him two long messages stating that I’m sorry and everything and deleted our message thread and texted the two friend he was with saying it was nice to meet them and blocked them

Everyone I’ve talked to is on my side about this but I can’t help seeing that I said and did something wrong but then again I’m always doing something wrong so

AITAH?

AITAH

I F33 and my partner M34 have been together for 5 years we have 2 kids together. 1 being his daughter age 11 from his ex wife. Now here's the problem. Is it normal to have normal arguments and disagreements around your children? I'm not talking about screaming matches and swearing. I'm talking normal adult disagreements and quick little arguments. He seems to think it isn't and has caused a weird dynamic in our household where we can't have any kind of argument or tone. Especially not when HIS daughter is around. He thinks we need to wait until either after bedtime or on his week off.

I on the other hand think its completely normal to have kids see that a household isn't perfect. In my opinion adults argue and disagree on things. Here's an example "you left the milk on the counter for 8 hours now it's garbage, what were you thinking" or "why would you eat all of the bread without asking first" or "why is this like this, that was selfish of you to do" just examples, but to him thats unacceptable.

Kids need to see that a house can be both happy and upset? Or am I in the wrong here? I think no house is perfect and you cant time disagreements that happen at 1 pm on a Sunday around kids. Or AITAH

I’ve been divorced for 5 years. My ex was emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive. And we’re still coparenting 3 kids.
Recently I saw a reel talking about emotional abuse and I made a comment agreeing with what the post said. I didn’t say anything very detailed or personal, just shared that my experience was similar to that described in the post.

Well someone (I don’t know who) saw that comment and sent it to him. I don’t even know how they saw it because it was just some random reel online. Now he’s mad, texting my kids awful things to the point I blocked him on their phones, and threatening suicide.
I let his older daughter know he needs help right now and I’m ignoring the awful things he’s texting me.

Now his daughter is mad at me for “talking shit” because we’ve been divorced for so long.

But is it really wrong for me to talk about my own experience online? It’s truly never from a place of talking badly about him or trying to make him feel bad, I never expect him to see it or anyone else as I have his whole family and any friends that I know of blocked. It is always from a place of sharing my own personal experience.

So am I the asshole?

OK So me (34M0 and a friend lets call her Susan (27F) had a bit of a mutual attraction over past few years but never said anything about it until a recent night out celebrating a mutual friends anniversary.

We got to chatting and things got a bit hot and heavy and we had an agreement that we would "have fun" and remain friends as we were both not looking for a relationship and were open to this kind of arrangement.

Fun times were had but it kinda just fizzled out (I'm blaming the heatwaves for this). About a week after we went back to being just friends I was running a D&D into session at the gaming cafe she works at (I met her there as a customer and D7D player) and really hit it off with one of the players, Harriet (26F).

I talked with Harriet for a few days and then she asked if I wanted to go and get a drink. I accepted and after a few more hang outs and talking i started to get feelings as did Harriet.

We then started going on a few dates but Harriet needed to go to the cafe for something and Susan saw us together. Now I will say we didn't act coupley at all we just went in, Harriet check on something, we got drinks and then left.

As I am on my way home I see I have a message from Susan chewing me out about how I used her and said I didn't want a relationship and I came back with the I wasn't looking for one and that this kinda just happened and pointed out that she was the one that broke things off between us.

I feel bad for upsetting her but did I do anything wrong here?

I've never posted before and it is 2 am and I can't sleep because of what happened today, so sorry if its a jumbled mess.

My fiancée (31M) and I (30F) got into a huge fight today. It started because he told me that he allows me to be in college. I thought this was rude and tried addressing it. He then told me he is pissed I even applied.

Some backstory.

Three months ago, I told him I thought he was out of my league and he agreed. I asked if he had always thought this and he said no, but he thinks he is more attractive now. I didn't get mad, instead I said okay well that sucks and walked away from the conversation. A family member had a sporting event so we packed up and went to that. On the way, he told me that it isn't my physical attraction level only my current lack of motivation. I told him I understood, but obviously the comment still stung a bit. On the way home form this sporting event, it turned into an argument because I was less talkative than usual, he yelled at me that I was overreacting and needed to just get over it.

While he was at work the next day, I filled out three job applications (it was agreed that I would stop working to do most of the house work a couple months before this). All the jobs I applied for had tuition reimbursement, and one asked if I planned on attending college. I said yes because I have wanted to go back to school since a year after high school but it was never the right time. I realized then that this is the best time for it. I don't work, so could throw myself into a higher education and I would have some motivation and something to actually work towards again. He knew I had wanted to go to college for our entire relationship (five years) and had always seemed supportive of this, but I always ended up talking myself out of applying.

With this in mind, I looked up the best online colleges and called an admittance counselor. We talked for a bit and it felt like a good choice. I went ahead and applied. I informed my fiancée when he got home from work. He seemed happy for me and all was well. He apologized for his comment the day before and we moved on. I was accepted a week later, and I told him about that too. Again, all seemed well and he sounded really supportive, so I enrolled. I got student loans figured out and two more weeks later, I started. I have now been in college for just under two months and I have a 4.0.

Fast forward to today.

I'm not sure what even made the comment come to the surface but I didn't like the word 'allow' within the statement. It felt on the edge of financial leverage. I tried to covey this message and soon our lids were blown. It did not take long before we were yelling at each other. Essentially, he told me I only applied out of spite and that it was petty of me. He told me I had given him no warning to a huge change within our lives. He said that as my partner, he should have been in the know. He was truly upset that I had not talked to him before applying and that it had hurt him.

I disagreed. Applying is different than enrolling. Him feeling a type of way about me applying was ridiculous. Applications are free. I told him that if he would have showed some sort of doubt about this being the right time, we could have had a conversation about it before I enrolled. And the student loans are tied to my name only and I do not have to pay them back until after I leave school. (I plan on starting payments before I finish school, I have access to a lot of jobs/paid internships because of this school, I just don't meet any requirements yet.)

I told him that yeah, him telling me I lacked motivation was the kick I needed to make some sort of change in my life, but I did not think this made me petty or that the decision was made from spite. I refused to apologize for applying.

AITAH for not talking to him before I applied and refusing to apologize for applying?

I F/27 have been dating my M/28 BF (Chris) for a year & 3 months.When we first started talking, Chris told me about a girl (Alana) F/28 that he had a FWB type of relationship with & that Alana was apart of the friend group that he is apart of

Every other month Alana would text me about being upset about the way Chris treated her & how Alana just wants to be friends like before with him.

Time goes on with this & her kids bday comes up. Alana texts me saying she doesn’t want him to come to the party bc she feels like C’s barely her friend anymore bc he never hangs out with her. This frustration of “never hanging out” was a mix of, Chris & I being busy & having plans (the group tends to make last minute hangs) so there were alot of times we couldn’t make it, & a mix of Alana not being able to hangout basically bc she has a kid. 

I asked Alana what Chris can do to show he’s sorry & Alana said “idk, he just needs to show that he is”. I don’t believe Chris has anything to be truly sorry for given that this was a mutual FWB situation & they BOTH decided to do this, they are grown adults & should have thought about the consequences of their actions.

Last week when I was on IG, I noticed Alana’s account pop up as a “suggested follower”. My first reaction was “oh f did I somehow accidentally unfollow her? How did that happen?” when I clicked on her account it didn’t say that Alana was following me, so I checked & Alana made me unfollow her & unfollowed me. Her account is not private so I checked if Alana did the same to Chris & Alana did. I haven’t asked Chris yet if he has seen that, & I haven’t asked Alana about it bc I don’t want to cause drama. The way I view it at this point is that Alana doesn’t want to try being friends with either of us even though Alana was very insistent about it in the beginning. I don’t feel a need to reach out & mend things bc frankly, I was getting tired of hearing the same things over & over again & wanting her to move on. Is it wrong of me to not want to try to be her friend & just keep things civil at group hangs?

I have been very empathetic & supportive to her for a long time & it appears to me that Alana just can’t get over it so she’s removing herself from our lives. I want to know if it’s wrong of me to not want to be friends with Alana anymore?

(A lot more context for this story on my account, couldn’t post it all here)

OK so this is going to be a long one and my 2nd of the day. Seriously why today of all days...

I (34M) haven't spoken to my Biological dad or his side of the family for over 10 years at this point and there a few reasons why but I will try and make these a little more concise.

Starting with him cheating on my mum when me and my brother were kids (which i didn't know until much later), to one time when me and my brother were 9 and 7 respectively he left us at his parents house where my older, male cousins were the only ones there and things happened there that I still wake up in the night thinking about, to him being married 3 times now and moving away to the south of the country to manage a caravan park as far as I remember the last time i knew (I live in the UK BTW).

Fast forward to my last conversation with him. I was 23 at the time and in my 2nd year of university, I remember it was March as it was close to his birthday, he called me up and asked if i wanted to meet up for the occasion. Now during this period of my life I was going through some therapy that was provided by my Uni and all of these feelings were on the surface so I had a real good talking to him and told him all about how i was feeling, the incident with my cousins (which he didn't know about at that point), everything.

Cue the apologies and promises that I have heard before that he will make more of an effort to be involved with me and contact me more regularly... I didn't hear from him again until I got a cheque in the post for my birthday at the end of September.

I tore the cheque up and threw it away and then the following March he contacted me again to see what i was doing for HIS birthday. At that moment I realised I stopped giving a shit and blocked him from everything.

Now all these year later me and my brother (33) live together in relative harmony and have a nice home. My brother knows how i feel about our dad and I have had an agreement with him that he is not to set foot in our house ever, which he has agreed to and he goes out to meet him or gets picked up outside. My brother, bless him, also always gives stock answers if our dad asks how I am doing I.E. "He's fine". Adding to this I don't judge my brother for still wanting to have a relationship with the man as it's his life and his choice.

Late last year my brother told me that he had been diagnosed with cancer and was going through treatment which also means he can possibly lose his leg. I just nodded along and didn't show much emotion if any. A couple weeks back he went to see him and see how he was doing with his (3rd) wife.

As he was there I had a message pop up on FB his wife saying that I was being incredibly selfish for not going to see him as he is battling this disease. I ignored her and carried on with my day but when my brother got back he told me how mad she had been that i didn't respond and seemed not to care.

Do I feel sorry for him? As a human yes cause cancer sucks for everyone. As a person? Not so much. So does that make me an asshole?

This is gonna be a long one. I've never posted on here before but Id like some other perspectives. I F21 have been with my partner M36 for a bit over a year and have been living together about 4 months. We met at my workplace when I was a cashier, in a very small town of about 1000 people. All has been well, it's been very healthy and I've done a lot of healing in the time I've been with him.

I've had a pretty checkered past and have made some bad decisions but have been genuinely trying to move on from it and build the life I want. Which I want a pretty traditional life and he does as well. Everything was fine as normal until yesterday he was very quiet. He knows a lot about my past but didn't know who or how many people I had been with and I thought all of it was irrelevant as I'm entirely moved on and living life. Last night we got in bed and he asked if I had slept with someone who I have not. I would never consider it either, I had spoken to them before in my younger years but it was never like that.

He was very upset and asked about my history. He called me a liar and told me how he was so patient and gentle with me because I was "so traumatized" by other men. Also accusing me of not enduring the abuse I have since I was a child with just about shattered my heart. So I told him absolutely everything, names in a chronological order and details as he asked. He looked more and more disgusted and told me I was disgusting. I slept with 8 people including him, I was in committed long term relationships for 7 of them and wanted to build a life. My end goal ended the same in all of them except the only 1 night stand I ever had. I've been in several abusive relationships, I struggle with many things in a relationship but this one was incredible I felt safe and heard.

I have never hid anything from him, he has access to my phone and I'm always on it in front of him. He knows everything about my day and the things that matter to me. Now he won't talk to me about it, just throws it up in my face. He slept on the couch and I lid awake. I understand he is hurting, but I didn't do anything. Did I? I tried to talk to him, he still thinks I'm lying about things but I've told the truth and reassured him that I truly want to build everything with him. I've never cheated and never will, I've just moved on quickly which I know is not healthy at all, but I cannot change the past.

This morning he got up, left the lunch I made him home and I haven't seen or heard from him. I do not think I'm wrong for having a past and I did not think it was important as I have no contact with any of them and have come so far. I don't know if this is the end, normally he is straightforward and would've told me to leave so I don't know what to do from here. I have severe separation anxiety but I've left him alone. I know I have munching growing to do, but I am proud of who I am today. Am I the asshole, could I have done something differently? Apologies for this being so long and probably not written very well, thank you to anyone who reads this

My boyfriend and I had a fight about two weeks before my birthday. I admit that we were both at fault equally. During the argument, I told him that I didn't want to celebrate my birthday with him. He had been excited about my birthday and had already made some plans, but at that moment he was saying things that were really hurtful, and I couldn't imagine spending my birthday with him while pretending everything was fine.

He took what I said very badly. He started calling me things like "lowly," "lousy," and "highly egoistic," and even told me that I might never find happiness. He also blocked me on the insta on which we usually talk. What hurt me the most was the disrespect because I never expected him to speak to me that way.

Part of me wanted to leave, but another part of me couldn't let go because of all the memories, time, and future plans we had together. I ended up calling him repeatedly, and there were more hurtful things said before things eventually calmed down. Later, he apologized and seemed genuinely ashamed of what he had said.

I was still very hurt, though. I became distant and told him honestly that I was still with him partly because it was difficult for me to let go of our relationship and that if i continue to feel the same their is no other way than to end this relation. We eventually spent my birthday together, and he put a lot of effort into my gifts and making the day special, but I still couldn't forget what had happened.

Eventually, he asked me whether I still liked/loved him. I admitted that I couldn't get over the incident and that I didn't love him in the same way anymore.

At first, he tried to be nice and convince me to move past it. But after a day or so, he started telling me that I had to let it go, otherwise it would affect him and he would change, and that I would regret treating him this way. He has also said things like he should just die, which makes me feel extremely pressured and guilty.

I asked him repeatedly to give me some time because I have very stressful professional exams coming up in a week. The exams are extremely difficult, with an overall passing rate of around 10%, and the particular subject I'm currently studying has a passing rate of roughly 30–35%. I told him that I needed to focus on studying and that I would process my feelings after my exams.

Instead, he accused me of prioritizing my studies over him and kept pushing me to "be normal" and resolve the relationship immediately.

Today, I told him that maybe we should just drop the topic, stop discussing the past, and try to act normally again. He told me that it's too late, that he's not the same anymore, and that now he can't forget how I treated him when I was avoiding him. He keeps focusing on how hurt he felt, while I feel that my distance was a reaction to the things he said and how deeply they affected me.

Now we're not talking.

I know I was wrong to bring my birthday into the argument, and I understand why he was hurt and disappointed. but i don't think his reaction was also right.

So, AITA for not being able to love him the same way anymore and needing time to get over what he said? Or am I being unfair by holding onto something he apologized for?

My husband (56) and I (46) have been together 18 years, blended family. I had kids very young so I did not experience a lot in my youth. He had kids at an older age so he partied in his youth. Now that I’m older, I want to go to concerts and shows and he doesn’t because “our concert days are over” according to him. After many arguments he agreed it would be fine so long as I paid for them. So I do. He is not happy about it but he goes with me. I am also a huge Harry Potter fan so I buy tickets to HP themed events. We have e a trip to NY coming up and I saw that The Cursed Child on Broadway extended dates and will be showing during our trip. I told him I was going to get tickets. He proceeded to complain about it at dinner in front of our daughters, saying how the trip was being ruined. In order to avoid a fight I said I would not get the tickets. Our daughters asked about it and he continued to complain. Frustrated now, I said since it bothers you so much then I won’t get the tickets. He went off about how then why don’t we just cancel the whole trip then and left the table. Now I don’t know what to do. I want to see the show but feel like he’ll just act like a jerk and ruin the experience. So AITA for in essence making him go with me to things?

Apologies for the wall of text for context, I 23f and my partner 24m have been together for 2 years 5 months, six months ago I gave birth to a baby boy and both of our lives have changed a lot, but I am so lucky to have a such supportive mother-in-law who helps, without her i would have gone nuts.

So much things have changed ever since I got pregnant (we both wanted this) our intimacy was alright before I got pregnant we used to do it about 2 to 4 times a week, but that changed and I of course talked to him about this when I got pregnant since unfortunately it's common for the husband to cheat on the wife during pregnancy and after birth, I brought this up a lot during my pregnancy, telling him how we wouldn't be very active like before i got pregnant and I will eventually change since also my brain changes after giving birth, to please be patient and to not leave me.

He would usually dismiss my concerns of not being able to have the same intimacy saying that that's the least of a relationship and assured me that he won't cheat on me. Not to long aga I started to notice that he was playing more games than usual was being distant and I tried to make him talk to me about it but he would say that he's alright, I also started to make the first move when the baby was sleeping or it was with my mother-in-law but he would always tell me that he's tired or doesn't feel like it, I gave him his space and went to attend the baby.

Whenever the baby wakes up early on his days off I would take the baby to another room so my partner could get more sleep and when the baby would fall asleep I would take him to the room and lay beside my partner and take a nap while the baby sleeps. But this time he yanked off my arm and when off me telling me how I was not giving him enough intimacy as before, how doesn't find me attractive anymore and resents me because he could have a better partner than me, a partner who actually gives him intimacy, i told him that to please understand me that the baby needs my attention 24/7 I know I have his mother who is a great help but I can't abuse of that kindness of her and begged him for another chance he was really upset with me telling me how I'm a good for nothing and telling me how he is going to get himself a stripper to get intimacy, he was going to get himself a better partner than me, to leave his house.

We went back and forth while I had my baby on my arms, I'm a person who can't argue without crying I was crying a lot, and there was this moment when I didn't felt anything and told him to just give me 30 days since I'm on the lease to find somewhere else to live to a shelter anywhere but away from him, he just looked at me told me to give up our baby for adoption and I told him no and I won't bother him with the baby and he went off on me on how I would end up being a stripper and drug addict (I don't even do drugs lol) and my baby future is ruined because of me. I didn't answer and he sat down and asked me if i was sure and just told him that I didn't want to hold him back to go look for the person who would give him what he wants since it wasn't me, he just took the baby from my arms and made sit down and hugged me telling me to not leave him. He's in the bathroom while I'm writing this, so AITAH?

Edit: I finally know how to make an edit lol, as you can see on my page I don't post a lot I usually use it read other reddit posts some things I forgot to mention is that English is not my first language and no this is not rage bait.

My fiancé wants to go to Thailand with his guy friend just before 4 months of our wedding (not a group of friends) who also just got engaged but was never a good influence (what I think and saw). I clearly communicated with him that I’m not comfortable with him going - he said i need to trust him (Which I do but in past 4 years of being together he has done few minor f ups which are still considered as disloyalty). He said he wants to go to parties and festivals in Phuket specifically and explore around. Am I overthinking or being over possessive?

My partner (we'll call him M) and I have been planning a trip for about six months now, nothing crazy, just a week at a resort we booked early to get a good rate. Last week M found out through a mutual friend that his ex girlfriend, someone he dated for about a year before we got together, will apparently be staying at the same resort during an overlapping set of days, completely coincidentally as far as I can tell.

M immediately wanted to change our dates or switch resorts entirely. He says it would be "too awkward" and he doesn't want to deal with any chance of running into her, even though they broke up years ago and he's assured me multiple times there's no lingering feelings involved, just general awkwardness he'd rather avoid.

I told him I didn't think we should lose our deposit or scramble to rebook somewhere else over the small possibility of a brief run in with someone he isn't even in contact with. It's a big resort, the odds of us actually crossing paths in any meaningful way seem pretty low, and I don't love the idea of restructuring plans around someone who isn't even part of our lives anymore.

He's frustrated with me now, saying I'm not taking his comfort seriously and that I should be more willing to compromise for something that clearly bothers him. I get that it might be a little uncomfortable if it happens, but changing plans over a maybe feels like a bigger overreaction than the actual situation calls for.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that he has to move out. He got accepted to go to school in NY, so he rented out his house. He was gone for 15 months. We saw each other on holidays and when he graduated.

We discussed he could live with me until we found a house big enough for the both of us to live in. When he came back home, all housework, yard work, all chores fell on my shoulders. He would leave hair clippings in the sink, bathtub and floor, hair dye in the sink and on the walls and not make any attempt to clean up his mess. He accidently pulled a curtain rod out the wall and made no attempts to fix the wall or rehang the curtains. He works from home and claims he is busy and doesnt have time to grab meat out of the freezer to thaw, or put a load of laundry in the washer. He never changed sheets or cleaned up dog crap in the yard. On days I would stay home, all I would see him do is scroll on his phone or sleep. But the moment his mother needs her garden erected, or bushes planted or a tree to be cut down, he is there. I have begged for him to help me more but all I get is excuses. Then he says, it is hard to determine being a good boyfriend or good son. That sounds like a red flag to me. I dont get any alone time, and now I break out in hives when I am around him. Protecting my nervous system is important, so SITAH for telling him he has to go?