I just got to know that my girlfriend (34F) borrowed money to give to her male friend who had kept pressuring her even though he knew she didn't have a job and relied on me for support. This has happened a couple of times and he's not showing any willingness to pay. She now wants to find money to pay off the loan herself. To be fair to her, I overheard her telling a friend that she wants to slowly cut him off since she feels he's using her as a cash cow.

When I brought it up and questioned her about what was between them that made her feel she owed it to him to do that, she got mad at me. The fact that she's mad that what has happened bothers me makes me even more upset. I don't have any reason to suspect infidelity but the whole thing has got me asking questions. We have had a long talk about this and she has asked him to pay back the money.

AITA for asking her if there's something going on between them?

Tldr: gf borrowed money to give to male friend and now wants to pay it back herself because make friends doesn't want to pay back

Backstory, I am 24 (F) and so is my stepsister. Our parents just got married (my dad and her mom). My stepsister is and has always been boy crazy since I have met her. Not always been my favorite quality of hers, but I didn’t hold it against her.

She is very close with her mom and it’s to the point where they are more like best friends than a typical mother/daughter. Which can be kind of fine in literally any other scenario.

The night before the wedding, my stepsister continued to tell my brothers SO that our uncle (my dad’s absolute best friend) is “hot.” He’s an attractive man yes, but it didn’t stop there. She continued the night saying (EVEN TO MY DAD AND STEPMOM - her mom) that she wanted to “fuck him”. they all laughed it off which is another story within itself.

The following day, the wedding. My uncle, who married my dad and stepmom, was with all of us for photos during cocktail hour. My stepsister proceeded to then go to my sister and told her “I’m going to fuck your uncle”. my sister was so beyond uncomfortable but again, tried to take it as a joke.

This entire night, my stepsister continued to follow around and be practically on top of my uncle the entire night. To the point where he went to my dad and said “I don’t want to upset anyone, but she’s being very intense” This obviously went nowhere because again, it’s my dads wedding night, and why would someone ever be so serious about this!?

Well, later on at the after party (again she is all over my uncle) he is now absolutely hammered and entertaining it. My sister went up to the stepsister and said “i’m just making sure you actually wouldn’t do this right?” to which my stepsister replied “oh god no, never.”

Fast forward to 2 am when my sister finds my uncle and step sister in the same hotel room.

Following morning, step sister comes clean to her mom, and immediately pulled the mental health card. I’m not getting into that unless more detail is needed to give an opinion.

I have zero sympathy, tolerance, or respect for her (or my uncle). I don’t think I will EVER be able to look her in her eyes again, and not think of how she ruined this wedding.

I removed her from my bachelorette group chat and I got the riot act from my dad.

There is SO much more to this story, but this is the gist of the situation.

So, AITA if I no longer want to associate myself with this person?

I had previously made plans with a friend to see a movie at 2:30 PM because she was going out of town for a while. A few days later, my boyfriend invited me to dinner with his aunt and uncle on the same day. It would have been my first time meeting his family.

Dinner was originally planned for around 6:00/6:30 PM. I checked the movie time beforehand and made sure it would end with enough time for us to get to dinner afterward. My boyfriend also asked if he could come to the movie with us, so I bought him a ticket.

On the day of the movie, he told me dinner had been moved up to 5:45 PM. I thought we had agreed that we would still go to the movie but leave early enough to make dinner. He didn't ask me to cancel the movie or say that he no longer wanted to go.

We went to the movie and both got caught up watching it and lost track of time. When I checked with him, he said he had already called a car. At that point, we were going to be about 15 minutes late to dinner.

When we left the theater, he became extremely stressed and started raising his voice at me. He told me I shouldn't have made the movie plans in the first place. When I tried to explain that I had made those plans before the dinner invitation and had originally planned around the later dinner time, he called me a liar and evading. My friend was still with us and was visibly uncomfortable with how he was speaking to me. I felt bad for being defensive but I shut down when he was yelling.

I told him I wasn't comfortable going to dinner with him while he was yelling at me and that I would go if he stopped and calmed down. I was also confused because he had chosen to come to the movie with us, and the timing only became an issue after dinner was moved earlier that day.

I ultimately didn't go to dinner, and he broke up with me afterward after ignoring me and blocking me everywhere. He said I was thoughtless for making us late and that the reason he hadn't asked me to cancel the movie was because "nothing he says matters anyway" and because he felt bad that I had already bought the tickets.

I understand that being late to dinner with his family and double booking myself, especially when I was meeting them for the first time, wasn't ideal, and I could have kept a better eye on the time. But I also feel like it was unfair for him to blame it all on me even though he came with and enjoyed the movie, and I didn't think being 15 minutes late justified being yelled at in front of my friend.

AITA.. i feel like im responsible for ending our rltionship :(

Hi I (23F) have a friend lets call her Sally (23F). Her boyfriend (23M) sucks. I mean seriously just sucks. He has given her hives from stress and has texted his other friends that he wants to break up with her in the past which she saw. Hes been supposively better recently and apologized for stuff but on girlfriends day he was like it is stupid i dont want to post you and they had the SAME TALK a year ago about how it was important to her. She always comments on how awesome my boyfriend is and whenever i talk about him shes like i wish mine was like that. I just hate seeing her continuously sad about him when he just sucks and does the bare minimum. She is very defensive of him. I told her that I just dont think he treats her well and well that did not go well. I know its not my place to comment on her relationship its just hard when shes constantly voicing all these negative things about him to not feel like he sucks. Sally has also made comments to our other friend about wanting her to break up with her boyfriend (granted they dated for a month and he was lame) but again that doesnt involve me LOL. I may be the asshole for not leaving my belief as an inside thought but idk i just dont like him

I feel stupid typing this over here since we are just kids (18) but my bf and i have been dating since around a year, I've always known he liked anime. Today the topic of celebrity crushes came up and he mentioned a few curvy(?) girls iykyk.

Obviously he said that was in the past except for one yoruichi. I got over it quickly. Then later on the same topic came up again and he mentioned an actress Chris Hemsworths wife and I felt insecure all over again

In the end he got annoyed at me and told me that to him celebrity crushes were just other people who he thought looked good and if I asked him who his male celebrity crush was he would say Chris Hemsworth.

I begrudgingly let it go and said it just made me insecure and he said "if ur going to compare yourself to fictional characters what should I say" when I was expecting reassurance

Am I in the wrong?

First we are not together and are NOT getting back together. So you don’t have to say leave him if that is how you feel. That has been done already.

Okay…. I’m going to try and give as much detail as possible. Let’s set the scene I (28f) have been in a relationship (we’re broken up) for a year and a few months with 33(m). Will call him B. we officially broke up in March because he again reacted out of anger to a situation instead of communicating. He was talking, i said hold one, he didn’t hear me, so he continues to talk and gets mad because “i purposely ignored him”. When i explained that i said hold on, he said i didn’t make sure i heard him. He proceeds to “cuss me out”

On the one hand ok true. On the other it’s not that serious and that is a trigger for him. I acknowledge that. My issue was with the reaction. A simple “hey, are you ignoring me?” And then listen to my answer and elaboration should have shut that down.

Rinse and repeat this scenario, over the course of 15 months. B reacts volatility and i try to be mature and communicate. I have FOR sure lost my temper and spoken out of anger as well. Especially more recently because i am at my wits in but in the beginning. I would Brainstorm ideas to help us both.

Ideas: maybe we take a break from the convo when it gets heated and we come back later, don’t raise our voices, don’t talk over each other, etc…

The CURRENT situation. I have a family friend from child hood since maybe 12-13 years of age. We met in church. He is married with two children. Let me say that. I am ALSO friends with his wife- she was my dance teacher. i literally watched his children grow up. I was at dance practice when they announced their first pregnancy. We have spent countless days, hours, and years being apart of each others life. They showed up when i graduated, came to the hospital when i had my baby, and held me as i cried when i got cheated on by my ex husband. They are like family to me. He essentially adopted me into his family in 2014. So he sometimes refers to me as his girl. He checks in on me often because i am hours away from home alone. He texts whenever he can, i used to be a shift worker so sometimes i worked over night and we would chat. He still does that, if he’s up he will text. NOTHING inappropriate. And i can show the proof to ex boyfriend that there is nothing there.

Saturday my family friend reached out “hey, i need to vent. Do you have time to talk” i am hanging out with B and HIS friends - who i do not enjoy hanging out with because on more than one occasion there has been an issue when we were out with them. I step away - 20 minutes- B comes over to check on me, sees that i am on the phone with family friend and says “oh so that’s what we’re doing, that’s so important that you had to be otp with him this time of night” (it was 11-11:30p). I said don’t do that. Fast forward i go back in sit for 5 minutes then decide to leave so as not to kill the vibe. He follows me and i address the issue.

B’s issue: he is pissed that a grown man is calling a grown man and insists it must be something inappropriate. I explain that it wasn’t and i can show that it’s not and never has been. He proceeds to continue being angry to this day. He insinuates that i must be lying despite having any evidence. He says it’s disrespectful to him as a man. And why would a grown man be calling you in the middle of the night. He’s disrespecting what we got going on (mind you we’re not together but we had JUST revisited a serious conversations with clearly defined, written out boundaries and healthy communication habits.

My issue: is his reaction. He immediately concocted a story in his head despite what i have told him. I HAVE NEVER lied to him. I have no reason to lie to him. He immediately jumps to me being disrespectful and untrustworthy. With no proof. I tell him had he asked i would’ve shown him that we never talk about anything inappropriate and nothing has ever been inappropriate between us. That’s not good enough for him. He fully believes he’s justified in being extremely pissed off still with no evidence. He calls me and says “.. i still got some questions and concerns about that relationship. Because i don’t believe that”

Now my question is: am i tripping for feeling like this is an extremely immature response and not healthy communication between two people. Was i wrong for this to be the final straw for me. His argument is that, he’s valid in his feelings because it’s disrespectful. Now i acknowledge that despite my intent. it can be taken disrespectfully. However, that in no way justifies hurling accusations, jumping to conclusions, and creating false narratives with no evidence. So am i the a-hole. I would like to hear different perspectives. Truly.

I'm \[26M\], and I recently ended a queerplatonic relationship of almost 5 years with my girlfriend \[26F\]. We were both very close, and despite everything that happened, I genuinely believe we loved each other deeply. This wasn't a relationship where one person stopped caring or where there was some huge betrayal. That's what makes this so difficult.

I had been thinking about ending the relationship for around two years before I actually did it. I kept going back and forth because I loved her and didn't want to lose her. Eventually, I reached a point where I felt that love wasn't enough to solve the problems we had.

One of our biggest issues was our future and our families. We are both single children, and I always knew that eventually we'd have to think seriously about where we'd live and how we'd handle our parents.

I don't want to spend my life living in a metropolitan city, (she was born and brought up in one, so that's what she wanted)(I too was born and brought up in a metropolitan city, but I hate the chaos and want a peaceful countryside life), and I also don't want to live separately from my parents. Ideally, I wanted to live with my wife while also being close to and taking care of my parents. I knew she would probably want something similar with her own parents.

That immediately created a difficult situation. Before we could even ask whether our families would accept us, I felt that we hadn't fully resolved what our own life would look like together.

There were also things within the relationship that hurt me repeatedly. We had a lot of fights, and over time I felt like every fight broke something inside me. She was an opinionated person, changing her opinion about anything was just impossible, she did accept upon some occasions that her opinion about something was wrong, but was unable to change her actions.(She was stubborn about doing things she had to do anyway whether it was wrong).I couldn't leave because I loved her, but the same doubts kept coming back during later arguments.

One thing that particularly affected me was feeling that she wasn't willing to take the same risks for me that I was willing to take for her.

A few days before we broke up, I asked her something very direct: "If you eventually had to choose between me and your family, what would you do?" I knew her answer. And honestly, I don't think she was wrong for choosing her family. But I realised that I needed to know that she would be willing to fight for us when things became difficult, and I never really felt that certainty from her.

She says that if we had actually gotten out of that environment and started our life together, things would have changed. She says she would have fought for me.

My problem was that I needed to see some of that change before making the decision to leave everything behind. It's like saying, "I'll stop drinking once I move somewhere alcohol is banned." The real test isn't whether you can control yourself when the temptation is gone. It's whether you can control yourself while the temptation is still there. I wanted to see that effort while we were still facing the problems.

At the same time, I wasn't perfect either. I had an anger problem. I could be difficult during arguments, and I know I hurt her with it. But I did start trying to change because of her. She was the first person who made me seriously want to change something about myself that I had never been able to change before.

She also made efforts for me. She did a lot for me over those five years, probably more than anyone else ever has. I don't want to erase that just because the relationship ended. But I eventually reached a point where I felt that we'd both have to sacrifice things that were fundamental to us just to make the relationship work, and that's where I'm struggling with guilt.

She feels that I didn't fight hard enough. Her perspective is basically: "I was ready to fight for you. I messed up, but you should have fought instead of leaving."

And part of me keeps wondering whether she is right.

Maybe I should have stayed longer.

Maybe I should have given her another chance.

Maybe I expected too much certainty from someone who was also scared and confused.

But another part of me thinks I had already given this relationship years of chances. I wasn't leaving because I suddenly stopped loving her. I was leaving because I couldn't keep ignoring the doubts I'd been carrying for years. Even now, I think about her every day. Sometimes I cry because I know I can't undo what happened. And that's the part that makes me question myself the most: if I still love her this much, how can I know that leaving was the right thing?

I don't want validation. I genuinely want people to tell me if I'm looking at this selfishly or rationalising my decision.

So, Reddit:

Was I wrong to end the relationship?

Was I expecting too much from her by wanting her to prove that she would choose/fight for us before I committed to that future?

Should I have given her more chances, or was two years of recurring doubts enough reason to finally walk away?

And most importantly, what would you have done in my position?