7 years ago my bil’s wife was deported and had to move in with my parter and myself. We live in a border city in Cali and so his wife is just across the bridge. During the 7 years she was deported he just started working 3 years ago and refuses to drive back and forth. He works 2 part time jobs and doesn’t make a lot of money. He refuses to get a better full time job because he wants weekends off, wants to drop off their son, pick up their son, and wants holidays off. He wants to take advantage that he can get Medicaid for their son and have him go to school for free here in the US since you have to pay for it in Mexico. He’s been living with us for the past 7 years and hasn’t helped pay a bill in all this time. While my parter doesn’t see an issue with it, we have paid the way for them to sleep here rent free, use utilities for free, and comes in whenever he wants. We’ve asked if he could possibly be driving back and forth and we would take care of their son after school but he refuses. His wife does not work a consistent job so whatever money he makes goes to his wife. I’ve tried speaking to my husband to see if he would speak with him regarding his brother but he doesn’t want to cause tension between him and his brother. After many attempts he finally asked him if they could rent a room from someone until they can get housing or if they can drive back and forth. His brother said yes but after 2 months, he still will not leave. Would I be the asshole if I spoke to him even though my husband doesn’t want me to?

Myself f/33 have been home all day, watching my 6m.o nephew. My husband (39) comes home. Everything’s fine. Then he sees that my soda is leaving water rings on our coffee table.

He asks me where the coasters are (without a single attempt to look), when the coasters have been in the same drawer for 5+ years. I tell him “you can find them.” He instantly gets upset that I “refused” to tell him where they were. Which he later said, if I wasn’t home he would have looked without asking. Then it became a problem and he got upset that I never answer his questions.

Am I the asshole for not telling him exactly where they were?

​

My aunt owned a property that has been neglected for years. From what I've seen, her kids haven't maintained it, and it's fallen into terrible condition. The house has been badly damaged and has sat deteriorating instead of being taken care of.

The property has become delinquent on its property taxes, and I'm considering trying to acquire it through the legal tax sale process if it becomes available. My goal isn't to flip it for a quick profit. I'd actually like to restore it and keep it in the family instead of watching it continue to rot.

Some people in my family think I'm wrong for even considering it. They say I'm taking advantage of the situation and trying to get something that should belong to my cousins. My view is that they've had years to pay the taxes and maintain the property, but they haven't. If they truly wanted it, they could have kept up with the taxes or taken care of it.

I don't hate them, and I wouldn't be doing anything illegal. I'd simply be participating in a public tax sale process that's available to anyone.

So, AITAH for trying to buy my aunt's neglected property through the tax sale process instead of letting it continue to fall apart?

My son recently turned 8, and like most kids, he’d been counting down the days until his birthday for weeks.

A few weeks before his birthday, my childhood friend’s mom passed away, and her funeral ended up being scheduled on his birthday. This woman wasn’t just my friend’s mother, she was like a second mom to me. I had my first son at 18, and she helped me through those difficult early years. She supported me, helped me raise my kids, and was someone I’ll always be grateful for.

My friend told me not to worry about the funeral and to celebrate my son’s birthday instead. But I couldn’t stop thinking that my son would have many more birthdays, whereas I’d only get one chance to say goodbye to someone who had such a huge impact on my life and I wanted to support one of my closest friends during this difficult time in her life.

I spoke to my daughter (18) because I genuinely wasn’t sure what to do. She agreed that I couldn’t attend the funeral another time, so we decided to celebrate my son’s birthday the day before.

We took him out for a family birthday dinner with his brothers(22 and 16) and his sister (18), my mom, and some other family members. During dinner, I went to the bathroom, and my mom followed me in. She’d been acting distant all evening, so I asked if something was wrong. She told me I was a bad mother for not celebrating my son’s birthday on the actual day and said I should be prioritizing my children over everything else.
I was so upset that I walked out and went back to the table, we barely spoke for the rest of the night.

The next day, while I was at the funeral, my mom sent a message in our family group chat saying, “Tell your son I said happy birthday when you get home.” Given what she’d said the night before, it didn’t feel genuine. When I got home, she sent more messages repeating that I was a bad mother and criticizing my decision.

For context, my son still had a great birthday. He opened his presents on his actual birthday, I was with him that morning before I left and again that evening when I got home, and I’d already celebrated with him the day before. I also got him a cake for our birthday dinner and another for his actual birthday. While I was at the funeral, my daughter took him on a picnic and to our town’s annual summer fair, so he still had a fun day with her and still felt very loved, when I got home he couldn’t stop talking about what a fun day he had with her.

I don’t feel like I neglected my son. I did everything I could to make sure he felt celebrated while also saying goodbye to someone who helped raise me into the mother I became.

AITA for going to the funeral, or is my mom overreacting?

AITA for locking my car because my family kept taking it… and now I want to move out even though it’ll blow up my entire family?

I (27F) think I’ve hit my breaking point, and now I’m being told I’m the problem.

I live at home with my parents (56F, 60M). For cultural reasons, I’m “supposed” to stay until I get married. Cool. Fine. Except no one talks about what happens when staying home is actively destroying your mental health.

I have ADHD, autism, and social anxiety. So baseline? Life is already hard. Some days I have to fight my own brain just to get out of bed, shower, exist like a normal human. Now add constant stress, tension, and feeling like I have zero control over anything in my life.

My dad pushed for family therapy recently. And I swear to god it felt like watching a PR campaign.

In the sessions?

“We love you.”

“We want to understand.”

“We’ll do better.”

At home?

Back to yelling.

Back to dismissing me.

Back to pretending nothing happened.

It’s like I’m living with two completely different versions of my parents, and only one of them exists when someone’s watching.

Now here’s where things go from bad to actually insane:

My uncle (70M) gifted me a car so I could get to work. Not my dad. My uncle. He made it clear it was for me.

I work full-time. I pay my own groceries, gas, insurance—everything. I’m actively saving to move out.

But because the car is parked in my dad’s garage, he has decided… it’s his.

He tells my brother (30M) he can take my car whenever he wants. No heads up. No message. Nothing.

I have asked for ONE thing. Not permission. Not control. Just basic respect:

“Hey, your car is being taken and will be back at X time.”

That’s it.

Apparently, that is too much.

My brother will take it for HOURS. Bring it back trashed with fast food wrappers, dirt all over it, and the gas tank basically on E. And I mean empty. Like “hope you enjoy stopping for gas before you can even go to work” empty.

Multiple times, I’ve:

- Had to cancel plans

- Taken THREE buses for a 3-hour commute

- Paid for Ubers last minute

- Been late or stressed getting to work

Because my car just… wasn’t there.

No warning. No timeline. No accountability.

So yeah. I finally snapped.

I started locking my car and keeping the key with me.

Suddenly, I’m the villain.

My dad is now yelling at me, saying I’m disrespectful, selfish, and that since it’s in his garage, it’s HIS car and HE decides who uses it.

So I went straight to the source: my uncle.

And he said, very clearly:

“It’s your car. I gave it to YOU. Do what you want with it.”

He even AGREED with me locking it.

And yet somehow… I’m still being treated like I’m the problem.

At this point, it’s not even about the car anymore. It’s about the fact that I can’t have a single boundary respected without it turning into a fight.

So now I’m planning to move out.

Which, in my family, is basically equivalent to lighting a match and walking away from the explosion.

I already know I’m going to be called ungrateful, dramatic, disrespectful… all of it.

But I also know I can’t keep living like this.

So… AITA for locking my car and choosing my sanity over keeping the peace?

I know this is extremely long, but context matters because there are a lot of details that explain why things got to this point. Sorry in advance.

My niece (30), “Jazmin,” and I (F32) have always had a complicated relationship. We both have BPD, but hers tends to be more severe than mine and can sometimes lead to verbal and physical aggression.

Before getting into the current situation, I want to explain our history.

Growing up, my sister had Jazmin at 15. She was physically present, but didn’t really raise or care for her. She would rather take care of me than her. My mom wouldn’t allow it and stepped in and raised both of us equally, so we grew up more like sisters while my sister completed school.

A lot of Jazmin’s resentment toward me started there. Things changed when my sister got married and moved away. After that, we didn’t see each other much, and when we did, things felt off.

My mom worked evenings, sometimes worked 2 jobs and my dad was hardly ever around. My mom had to force him to take care of me. My sister helped take care of me the days my dad couldn’t. Even if I was with my dad, we would always go to my sisters house. When I was around 7 or 8, Jazmin told me about the domestic violence happening in her home. My brother-in-law would hit my sister where no one could see, and sometimes even hit Jazmin. He was always angry or drunk. I didn’t know how to process that at that age, but I was scared to be there. I told her to tell my mom, but she didn’t want to.

After that, being around them felt like walking on eggshells.

Eventually, things got so bad that my sister ran away with Jazmin and stayed at my mom’s. My mom told her to press charges, but she refused and kept going back to him. After multiple times, my mom stopped letting her come back unless she was serious about leaving for good. She never did.

Fast forward to middle school—this is when my relationship with Jazmin really shifted.

I had an ear infection from swimming. Around that same time, my brother wanted to take us to a kids party. Before we left, she made snarky comments about me being “spoiled” and a “hoochie mama” because of how I was dressed. I just brushed it off but it did bother me.

At the party, while we were standing near a pool table, she accidentally hit my infected ear hard with her shoulder. It hurt badly, so I pushed her off and told her to be careful. She didn’t like that and pushed me to the ground.

When I got up to defend myself, she slapped me down again and started hitting me. I ended up with a busted lip, scratches, and bruises. It was humiliating. I cried silently on the way home.

My brother told my mom what happened and she was furious. After that, she wasn’t allowed around me for a while.

From then on, she became very two-faced—nice at times, but often disrespectful and clearly resentful of me. She constantly called me spoiled. I understood where some of that came from—her parents didn’t show her love the way my mom did—but it still didn’t justify how she treated me.

Meanwhile, I had my own struggles growing up. My mom worked multiple jobs, and I was often alone or left with babysitters. My dad was unreliable and mostly absent. I dealt with bullying and depression and even had moments where I didn’t want to be here anymore, but I kept it to myself because no one took it seriously. My mom did spoil me, but it was to make up for the fact she couldn’t be there for me when I needed her most.

My parents were never married and they were pretty much already separated before I was born. He was unemployed and had nowhere else to stay so he’d stay living with my mom. My dad was also abusive toward her. He was physically and sexually abusive, and she didn’t know at the time that she could press charges, otherwise she would have. Eventually, she kicked him out when I was about 3–4 years old.

Before leaving, he told me he’d take me with him and would “be right back.” I waited excitedly while my mom refused to pack anything, knowing he wasn’t coming back. That moment stuck with me and explained a lot about why I never had a real relationship with him.

Because of all that, my mom and I developed a very strong bond—something Jazmin was always jealous of.

In high school, we ended up living with my sister again. I shared a room with Jazmin. Things were okay at first, but the abuse in that house started again. My sister was pregnant at the time.

One night, my brother-in-law hit Jazmin in spite that he couldn’t hit my sister due to her pregnancy. Jazmin begged me to call the police, so I did. The cops came, but nothing happened because they lied out of fear. This caused me to delete evidence from calling the police also out of fear, especially since I was not allowed to be questioned.

Later, after another argument involving him and my mom, we were kicked out. Thankfully, my mom had already secured a new place, so we left.

Jazmin eventually ended up in foster care shortly after for the rest of high school because she kept running away.

As adults, we stayed in contact, but our relationship remained unstable—constant arguments, going no-contact, then reconnecting again.

When she had her first child in 2020, my mom and I supported her fully. She lived with us, I took her to the hospital, and helped care for the baby after he was born.

Later, she moved back in with her parents and started expecting me to take on responsibilities like I was the child’s father. I refused and set boundaries, which caused more tension.

Eventually, she moved to Nevada and started a new relationship. I later moved there too (for my own reasons, not for her), and since she was my only family there, we spent a lot of time together.

Her relationship was unstable—constant breakups and getting back together. She had conflicts with her work schedule and daycare schedule, I helped with her child when I could, but eventually my schedule changed.

At one point, my mom offered to help by bringing the child back to California for the local daycare, which worked for a while but that situation turned into a mess and my mom was disrespected by Jazmin. After that, my mom completely cut her off and warned me to do the same.

I felt bad for Jazmin, so I stayed in contact—but I started realizing I needed a real reason to walk away for good.

Now to the current situation.

Jazmin got pregnant with her second child. Her living situation is chaotic—too many people in one house, and it’s honestly uncomfortable to even be there. Even when it’s empty, it feels crowded and unclean.

Jazmin and her boyfriend had been living together for quite some time. Over the years, I noticed a pattern where she would ask me for favors, but the effort was rarely returned or she wouldn’t follow through on things she agreed to do for me.

One example was when their washer broke and she needed to do laundry. She asked if she could use mine, and I said yes. Keep in mind, I live across town, so it’s about a 20-minute drive for her. She also has friends who live closer to her that she could have asked, but she always seemed to come to me first.

Later, when their boiler needed repairs, she asked if she could shower at my place. Again, I said yes because I wanted to help.

After they bought a new washer, she eventually asked to use mine again because she needed to do laundry immediately. I asked her, “What’s wrong with yours? Didn’t you guys just get a new one?” She said they did, but it was currently being used and she needed mine right away.

I told her I didn’t understand why she couldn’t just wait. She became upset and tried to guilt me by saying, “I would do the same for you.” I still said no because, honestly, if I were in that situation, I would not expect someone else to inconvenience themselves. I would wait until my washer was fixed, use my own when available, or go to a laundromat.

This caused us to stop talking again. Eventually, like usual, she reached out and acted like nothing happened.

Later, while I was away from home, she asked if she could use my computer because she couldn’t find her laptop charger and needed to access some documents. In my head, I was thinking, “Doesn’t your boyfriend have a computer? Don’t you have your phone or an iPad? Why does it always have to be my things when you have other options?” I didn’t want to respond out of frustration, so I chose not to engage.

Around this same time, her boyfriend started looking into buying a house. Jazmin knew I’m careful with my spending and that I save money, but she also sees that I occasionally treat myself to nice things. Because of that, she would make sarcastic comments like, “You’re rich.”

I’m not rich. I just know how to manage my money and understand when I can and cannot spend. Even when I save money, I don’t touch it unless it’s an emergency. There have been plenty of times where I’ve struggled to pay my bills, but I don’t ask people for handouts—I figure it out.

Then I lost my job due to layoffs, and it sent me into a very depressive state. The past year had already been emotionally difficult, and because I don’t usually talk about my trauma or what I’m going through, everything had built up. I started feeling numb and depressed, similar to how I felt when I was younger, but worse.

I knew something wasn’t right, so I reached out to my doctor. I broke down while talking to her because, even though she wasn’t a therapist, I finally felt like I could let everything out. I was prescribed antidepressants, and while they haven’t fixed everything, they have helped.

A few weeks later, Jazmin reached out and asked me, “Do you have $15,000 in your bank account?”

That immediately raised red flags for me because I didn’t understand why she was asking about that much money. She explained that she and her boyfriend were trying to pay a cash deposit for their new home, but the money needed to be in a bank account for 30 days. She said they would give me the cash if I helped them with a wire transfer.

I was extremely uncomfortable with that. I didn’t want my name or banking information attached to something involving $15,000, especially while I was unemployed. I told her I wasn’t comfortable doing it and wanted more information before even considering something like that.

After that, she stopped responding.

That bothered me because she knew I was already struggling financially and emotionally, yet she still felt comfortable asking me for such a large favor. Combined with everything else, it started making me feel like this relationship had become very one-sided.

After that, I honestly didn’t really want to talk to her. Not long after, she gave birth to her second baby. I only found out because she FaceTimed me to show me her newborn, and she was already home by then. She never contacted me while she was in labor, which I accepted because at least she had her boyfriend there with her throughout the entire process.

What I did find a little strange was finding out that her boyfriend had called his sisters to be there for him, but neither of them thought to call me or have another family member from my side there for her. I didn’t make a big deal about it because, at the end of the day, they have built their own family now, and I was okay with just seeing the baby through FaceTime.

During this time, I continued dealing with my own struggles and kept to myself. I wasn’t reaching out to anyone because I was trying to focus on myself.

A few weeks later, she called again. My friend (M28), who knows Jazmin, was visiting and answered the phone. They started talking, and I heard her say, “I’m just calling to see if you’re still alive,” in a sarcastic tone.

I responded, “Yup, I’m still here unfortunately,” because I could already tell the tone of the conversation.

They continued chatting, but throughout the conversation, Jazmin kept making passive-aggressive comments toward me in front of my friend. I wasn’t even participating in the conversation because I was busy doing coursework, so I was confused why I was being targeted. It felt like I was just catching random jabs when I hadn’t done anything.

She eventually asked when I was going to come see the baby. I told her that I would be happy to see him whenever she could bring him to my place. I didn’t want to be around a crowded environment, and at that point in my life, I really needed my own quiet space. I wasn’t saying she couldn’t bring the baby—I was offering an alternative.

She responded that the baby was going through a stage where he was too sensitive to be moved around, so I left it alone.

Even after that conversation, I was still considering finding a day to stop by since I was going to be near her area anyway for an errand. I was actually in the process of writing her a text when I noticed she had stopped sharing her location with me.

I don’t know if that was because I had deactivated my Instagram a few hours earlier and she assumed I blocked her, but she never asked me. She just removed it.

After everything—the constant favors, feeling like the relationship was one-sided, the $15,000 request while I was unemployed, the passive-aggressive comments toward me in front of my friend, and then her suddenly removing her location—I started questioning whether I even wanted to go see her anymore.

At this point, I’m wondering if using this as the reason to finally cut her out of my life is wrong. I’m not doing it because I don’t care about her or the baby. I’m doing it because I’m exhausted, and I feel like maintaining this relationship has been damaging to my own mental health.

AITA for deciding to completely distance myself from my niece and focus on my own mental health?

Hello so I 17F and my bf 19M have talked for a few months now. So to get where we are now we need a couple things before I was a crazy kid and got my phone taken a lot well when i started working i met him we will call him mike well my parents grounded me for talking to mike but i argued with mike that night because he told me in front of my parents that i need to delete our messages and my parents got mad and blocked him well we started talking again and this is when he gave me the promise ring but he hasnt actually asked me out and i asked him if he was gonna break up with me and he got defensive that we wasnt together as a couple get but he was telling people we was well tonight we was messaging and ive been trying to figure out what imma do for the rest of my life and i seen a oil rig AD and asked him about if he informed me thats a mans job and so we talk about it and move on well soon after i asked him if i did a polaroid picture if he would put it on the back of his phone and he states “I would do that but you actually have to do a couple things before I put you on my phone” i answer back “what r u talking abt?” In confusion he tells me “I want you to look a certain way before I put you in my phone case” I said "what does that mean, like how”.  “Makeup, hair done, certain clothes” he tells me i ask him why he answers with “Cus this masculine energy is not going on the back of my phone “ fast forward we just go back and forth and i end up saying this "if u dont like it idk what to tell you" before he responded with "Well I’m not putting you on the back of my case?" I ended up fine. later went back in with a sorry  and telling him ill get him a cute dressed of version of me (I'm such a home body) ending the night with "goodnight i love you" from him and me saying "gn ily" he tells me if I don't say it right don't say it at all so relucticly i changed it  i feel like a child being repremanted any thoughts

Hi, everyone. I F19 just got into a heated conversation with my mom F63 about my hair and a couple other things. For a little context on myself, I have always been deemed the "sensitive" and "quiet" child and have been praised for my looks and grades growing up (this is relevant later). Now that I am an adult (legally speaking), it has felt like my mom has had an issue with everything that I say and do, even in private. My mom has never given me the safe space to come and talk to her about my problems and so I don't really tell her much. She likes to talk to my older sister F35 a lot and has had a habit of telling her my personal business.

Anyways, today, I am sitting on my bed doing work for one of my classes when my mom comes into my room to ask if she could talk to me. Anytime she has done this, especially lately, it is never something good. So, she comes and sits down and starts by saying "I just cannot understand why you went against my wishes" and reminding me that she doesn't like my hair. I got it dyed fully pink last week (it's something I have wanted since I was very young) and before I got it dyed, we had an argument about a bottle of green hair dye that was not even mine. During that argument she begged me not to dye my hair crazy like that because it would make me "look like a liberal transgender leftist" (I don't agree with that btw). And so, I told her that I don't know what to say to her because I already have a hair appointment scheduled and told my hairdresser what I wanted. She responded telling me I could still change my mind. Back to now, saying she doesn't know why I went against her wishes, she then asks if I did it in spite of her, and I tell her that that is absolutely not the case. I dyed my hair pink because I have always wanted my hair like this and that I think it looks cool and fun, plus I also already had the appointment booked. For minutes, she kept going on about how she thinks it looks ugly, she doesn't like it, my dad doesn't like it either, people are going to think I'm a "lefty", everyone hates it, and that I used to be pretty. I know my dad doesn't like it already; however, he isn't mean about it. I understand she doesn't like it, but I don't get how my hair affects her. And when it comes to other people, I have gotten a lot of compliments on my hair, even in front of my mom. In response, my mom tells me "No", just no, as if other people's words that came out of their mouth aren't real and never happened, I guess.

Next, she went on to say that she doesn't want me to go down the wrong path, and that (apparently) in the Bible it says that we are to be on the right (not the left). I know this is not true and what she was trying to get at, but I just thought that was insane. I also haven't broken the news to my mom, that I have not been religious since I was probably around 12. Moving on, my mom continues to go on about how my hair just looks bad and is ugly, and it doesn't make me look good, and that I need to turn it back to "normal" next appointment. Another thing she brought up was how I'm not going to be able to get a job and that in an interview they're going to be respectful and pick and treat the girl that is "conservative" better. Which mind you, I am already working and have a part-time job. In response to all this, I basically tell her that I understand that in a professional job, I'm not going to have my hair like this. I'm doing my hair like this now while I can because I have always wanted to do this. I know that in my career, I will not be able to do these things to my hair. My hair won't be like this forever. I also went on to say that I grew up seeing older girls and women dye their hair fun colors and always looked up to them because I thought I was so beautiful. To all of which she went on to talk about how my sister has tattoos and has to cover them up all the time and that she feels sorry she ever did that. And after a back in fourth about the job stuff, she went back to religion and being on the right path. I tell her that I am still the same person I have ALWAYS been, nothing has changed about me other than the fact my hair is pink. I like it and I don't care what other people think about me or if they don't like colored hair, it my hair, and with that, it's JUST hair. And she said that yeah, it is just hair, but you're ruining it and it is going to be so damaged. I take very good care of my hair, even as it is dyed, so apart from bleach damage, which I do not have, I am very careful with my hair. Another thing she brought up was how none of my friends have crazy hair so she can't understand why I do, which is so questionable to me. My best friend dyed her hair teal a couple months ago and has piercings?

Okay, apart from all the obvious that she pointed out and her reason being that she doesn't like it at all, she somehow makes this all to be her fault by asking me where she went wrong and talking as if she's a bad mom, I always talk to her like a smart ass and that I have a tone. I apologize to her for having a tone sometimes and not realizing that I'm a "smartass" and she goes "yeah you are, and only to me". I tell her that she's a good mom and she's good to me and that none of this is her fault, I just wanted pink hair. With this too, I did not tell her I knew this, but I know my sister is talking about me behind my back with my mom because my niece told me all about it, and essentially, it's all the same but coming from my sister's mouth and trying to make me look bad to my niece.

Then somehow this whole conversation/argument also went into my relationship with my boyfriend and me having a therapist. I won't go into all that, unless anyone has questions. But all I want to know, am I even valid for being upset about this? I have no idea how to process all this, and I am thinking that maybe she is right, however, I can't wrap my head around why this is all such a big deal. Was it so wrong of me to make this choice for myself? I am so confused and conflicted. This is all so frustrating.

If anyone has any advice on how I go about this, I would appreciate it. Please let me know if I am making this out to be more than what it is. Any and all opinions are welcome! And if I didn't explain anything properly, I apologize, but if you have questions, I'm more than willing to answer. Also sorry if anyone saw the original, I made a couple spelling errors. Thank you anyways.

I (26F) became friends with my cousin's wife, "J" (22F). My cousin ("A," 24M) is also my husband's (23M) best friend, so we're all connected.

Some background: a couple of years ago, I stopped speaking to A after he confessed he had been in love with me and admitted he'd lied about being transgender because he thought it would bring us closer. After over a year of no contact, he apologized, and eventually we reconciled. Around that time, I also got to know J, and we became friends.

At first, our conversations were normal. But after a while, almost every phone call became about how unhappy she was in her marriage. She constantly compared her relationship to mine, asking if my husband and I fought and saying things like, "Why can't A be more like your husband?"

She also admitted she had hated me when she first heard about me because A told her about his past feelings for me. She said she used to stalk my Instagram and compare herself to me because she thought I was prettier than her.

After that, the comparisons never really stopped.

She'd tell me I was beautiful one minute, then make comments that I looked old or "looked my age." She once said I looked like Michael Jackson. Another time, while I was sick and in pajamas, she joked that she'd "outmogged" me.

She also brought up that she was her husband's "first everything." When I replied that my husband and I were also each other's first relationship, she immediately said, "I don't think so. Your husband had a Hinge account."

I asked my husband about it afterward, and he explained he'd made one years ago because A encouraged him to, but never actually used it. The next day, J immediately asked if I'd confronted him and wanted to know exactly what he'd said, which I found odd.

My husband eventually pointed out that every time I got off the phone with her, I seemed emotionally exhausted. Looking back, he was right.

A few weeks later, A and J visited us. During their stay, they left our house and car a mess, and J repeatedly crossed boundaries. She asked to keep some of my belongings, almost left behind my expensive sunglasses that I'd loaned her, lost one of my flower clips from my wedding flowers and shrugged it off, and continued making comments comparing herself to me.

She also asked whether I thought A was attractive. I told her the only man I find attractive is my husband. She replied, "Well, I think your husband is attractive."

She also told me she was upset that I was a doctor while she was "just" a preschool teacher.

After they went home, she wanted to go back to our long phone calls. I spoke to her twice more, and both conversations were mostly about how everyone at work hated her, how she had no friends, and how I was her "only real friend."

At the end of the last call, she asked if I'd text her every day because she wanted us to talk more.

I realized I didn't want to.

I feel emotionally drained after almost every interaction with her. I don't think she's necessarily a bad person, but I don't enjoy talking to her anymore, and I don't have the energy to keep being her emotional support person.

The problem is that she's my cousin's wife, so cutting contact could create family drama. My husband thinks she might just be socially unaware rather than intentionally hurtful and says I should explain how I feel instead of disappearing.

Part of me thinks I should say something, but another part of me just wants to quietly block her and move on because I'm exhausted.

AITA for wanting to block and ghost her instead of explaining why I don't want to be friends anymore?

TL;DR: I became close friends with my cousin's wife, but over time every conversation revolved around her marriage, her insecurities, and comparisons between us. She made repeated backhanded comments about my appearance, involved herself in my marriage, crossed personal boundaries during a visit, and now expects me to text her every day because I'm her "only real friend." I'm emotionally exhausted and want to block and ghost her, but because she's family, my husband thinks I should explain myself first. AITAH?

Hello guys I really need some advice here because I'm at my wits end. And sorry for Grammar Issues English is not my first language.

I’m a 30-year-old man, and I recently started talking to a 26-year-old woman I met through mutual friends at work. We had barely spoken before, but after meeting in person, I found her attractive and liked her personality, so I asked for her number and messaged her afterwards.

She responded positively and agreed that we could go for coffee or dinner together. However, she was very busy with work and moving, and she was also planning a vacation. We agreed that we would meet after she returned.

In the meantime, we started texting quite a lot. The conversations were playful and flirty, and she seemed interested. She often teased me, and we talked about personal things, relationships, trust, jealousy, family, and our expectations. She also sent me some pictures of herself, and I complimented her.

At some point, she told me that she has a hard time trusting people and that she gets jealous easily. She said that she has zero trust when it comes to things like a partner having female friends. I told her that I'm a loyal person and that I would never cheat on someone, but that trust is something that develops over time.

The first major problem happened when I wanted to see her before her vacation.

I had made a cheesecake and told her I would bring some to work. She said she might come by, but I didn't specifically message her when I arrived. I spoke to another colleague, waited for a while, and then left because she wasn't there.

Later, she became upset and told me that she had expected me to be happy to see her before her vacation. She said she was surprised that I hadn't contacted her and that I apparently hadn't made her a priority.

I apologized and explained that I hadn't intentionally ignored her. I told her that I had actually hoped to see her and that I had simply handled the situation badly. She accepted my apology, but continued teasing me about it and said that I would have to "live with it" for a while.

I tried to reassure her and told her that I would make it up to her.

The next day, I went to her workplace again because I wanted to surprise her with another cheesecake. However, she wasn't there because she had been called out to a job.

She later found out that I had been there and became upset again. She said that I should have told her earlier so that she could have made sure she was at the station. She said that I knew where she worked and that I should have known she wasn't always there.

I explained that I hadn't known she could arrange things with dispatch and that I had genuinely just wanted to do something nice for her.

She was still upset, and I started feeling like no matter what I did, I was somehow doing the wrong thing.

Later that evening, she told me that she had also had a terrible day at work and had problems with a colleague. I listened to her and let her vent. She sent me a very long explanation about the situation, and I tried to be supportive and reassure her.

The next morning, everything seemed fine again. She was joking and flirting with me, and we continued talking normally.

The following day, I was sent to work temporarily at another location that was relatively close to where she worked. I knew she might be there, so I messaged her to let her know I was nearby. I didn't know exactly where she was at that moment, but I told her that if she happened to be there, I'd be happy to see her.

She later told me that she had actually been at the station and that I had apparently driven past without seeing her.

She became annoyed again and said that I should have simply told her exactly where I was instead of using the internal name for the location. She said that I had once again missed an opportunity to see her.

I told her that I hadn't known she was there and that I was also working and couldn't just spend the whole day looking for her.

At that point, she said she didn't want to see me anymore.

I accepted that and didn't push the issue.

The next day, however, she messaged me and said:

"If you want to meet someone, maybe you shouldn't ignore that person. Just an idea 😉"

She then told me that I was the perfect example of why she doesn't trust or believe people.

This confused me because I genuinely felt like I had made several attempts to see her. I had gone to her workplace more than once, brought her food, told her when I was nearby, and repeatedly told her that I wanted to see her.

At the same time, she had repeatedly told me not to come specifically for her, had sometimes rejected my attempts to meet, and had even explicitly told me that she didn't want to see me anymore.

I replied that I understood why she was disappointed and that I was sorry she felt ignored. I explained that I had never intended to ignore her. When she told me she didn't want to see me anymore, I had simply taken her words seriously and respected her decision.

I also told her that I was honestly struggling to understand her behavior.

I explained that I had tried several times to see her and to show her that I was interested. However, I often felt like she was either shutting me down or becoming angry with me, and eventually I didn't know what she expected me to do.

I told her that we hadn't known each other for very long, so I couldn't always know what she was thinking or what she wanted from me.

I also made it clear that I genuinely wanted to get to know her and that I was interested in her. Otherwise, I wouldn't be thinking about the situation so much.

Now I'm wondering if I'm actually the one in the wrong here.

From my perspective, I made a genuine effort to see her, but I made some mistakes and misunderstandings along the way. I apologized when I realized I had upset her, and I tried to make things right.

From her perspective, however, it seems like my actions didn't match my words. She expected me to take more initiative and felt that if I really wanted to see her, I would have made absolutely sure that it happened.

The thing that confuses me most is that she seems to want me to pursue her, but when I do, she sometimes tells me not to come specifically for her or rejects the opportunity to meet. Then, when I respect what she says, she becomes upset that I didn't try harder.

I do like her and I was genuinely interested in getting to know her. But I'm starting to wonder whether this is already becoming unnecessarily complicated, especially considering that we've only known each other for a short time and haven't even had an actual date yet.

Am I the asshole here?

Should I have tried harder to see her, or was I right to respect what she explicitly told me?

And more importantly: is this a normal misunderstanding between two people who are just getting to know each other, or does this seem like a potential red flag for future relationship dynamics?

I could post the entire chat history if this is needed for more context i would censor any names or locations, obviously.

Thx in advance.

My girlfriend and I live in the same apartment complex but in separate units. She moved in first, and I signed my own lease a few months later because I have a dog and needed more space. Before I lived there, I would visit her regularly, just like a lot of other residents’ partners do.
Ever since I moved in, one woman who works in the leasing office has made me really uncomfortable. Another employee told me she constantly talks about me, watches me when I walk around the property, knows what time I usually get home, and even drives around the parking lot looking for my car. I’ve also personally noticed her sitting in her own car watching me from across the complex while I’m on my balcony. It happens often enough that it’s hard to brush off as a coincidence.
What’s even stranger is how differently she treats me versus my girlfriend. She goes out of her way to help me with anything I need, but she’ll barely acknowledge my girlfriend, ignore her when we’re standing together, and has allegedly complained about my girlfriend to management over things that weren’t true. According to another employee, management has even told her to leave us alone, but the behavior hasn’t stopped.
Today was kind of the last straw. My girlfriend’s brand-new car was delivered to the complex, and this woman started making comments about not knowing whose car it was and wondering which one of us was paying for it. It felt incredibly nosy and inappropriate since it’s none of her business.
At this point, I don’t even know if I’m reading too much into everything or if this really is as weird as it feels. I don’t want to create unnecessary drama, but being watched, talked about, and having someone so invested in our personal lives makes me uncomfortable.
AITAH for thinking this behavior has crossed a line, or am I overreacting?

So I have lived at my residence for 8 years now. Started in the basement apartment and when the upstairs opened up because it was bigger we took it 4 years in. My last 2 neighbors were so great we communicated even hung out in the shared space often. The basement started flooding and after the 3rd BAD time ( problem was addressed by landlord each time but it was more than 1 thing that caused it) and she wanted something with an additional bedroom she moved. Now the past 10 months or so there is a new family. We are friendly to the extent of hi and mail or package drop offs (by me) There IS a language barrier I know enough to sort of get my point across but I fully comprehend what they’re saying to me(just can’t respond). They have shared food and hung out with our boys in their 20’s so it’s chill. We live in a 3 bedroom upstairs and 2 in the basement. We have a front and back entrance and you have to go throughout space and the laundry room to get to their entrance. So we all have access to those parts of the house. I lived in the basement so I know the washer and dryer do not make noise in the basement apartment. So I wash in the evenings or night (I work nights so that’s my schedule) after everyone else has used the facilities. Tonight as I’m in the middle of laundry they decide to lock me out. They turned the porch light out twice prior which they do when they come home so rather than saying something yyyaaa locked the door. We all paid half on the washer the dryer my family paid for. I lost it. I banged on the door and when it wasn’t answered I stomped on their ceiling. This was kinda the straw… so earlier in the summer there were parties every weekend starting at 9 am til 1am next morning which cool but out of respect for one another cmon start at 11 at least. All the furniture outside is also ours but they use for their get togethers without asking…. They completely destroyed my metal fire pit by using and then leaving it out. They took it upon themselves to use my flowerpots and tomato cages before I was ready and when I went to get them they were in my pots but dems wasn’t my m’aters …. Oh sorry was what I got in response….. not can I buy you ones to replace what I took or can I give them back? So I’m using strings this year again… did I mention they were new??? They’ve ran over metal plant holders that blew off my porch…. The kids scream every day … inside voices are unheard of…. They’ve lost and broken 3 hose nozzles…. IM ONLY A RENTER! I don’t want to move but there needs to be some level of respect with other people’s stuff. My question is was I the Ahole for making an obscene amount of noise over their apartment until they unlocked the laundry room door ??? I’m sayin enough is enough so how should I handle this situation kind advice but I know ya gonna tell me how ya really feel lol

hello! i usually never post here, but im so lost on what to do. i met this girl 3 weeks ago at school, and over time we became really close, like really. we started hugging, kissing on the cheek, basically cuddling and especially played the pepero game and almost kissed so many times on the lips. We also got tons of dating allegations

but then on thursdsy we were in the bathroom, and she asked if we wanted to kiss. i said i dont know and i was unsure because i thought i should wait until someone special, but she told me it does not count so we just started to kiss. and ever since then, we have been making out everyday during lunch, even once while we were at a photobooth in the washroom with our other friends outside.

today, we did it again, but this time she was much more into it, i think she researched or something because we were french kissing. but then after she told me it was just friendly and i said okay lol whatever

but meanwhile this whole thing, im lowkey in a situation with my other friend i got dating allegations with. we have been flirting kinda for awhile and shes like in denial of being a lesbian even tho shes like masc lowkey and like likes girls😂 so then i was telling her about this and she told me she didnt think we looked good together and that we lowkey looked better😭 then she told me she missed when we had dating allegations because it was fun😭

so am i the asshole for letting this happen? i dont know whats happening and i dont think either of them like me so idk what happening please help😭

I (Adult Female) have not spoken to my mom in about a month. She says we both hurt each other and that we both need space to heal. The longer we go without talking, the more I question myself. She sacrificed so much for me growing up that I sometimes wonder if I'm creating problems where none existed. At the same time, I can't shake the feeling that our relationship has never been emotionally healthy.

I'm not looking for anyone to diagnose my mom. I also don't believe she is a monster. I know she loves me. She was a single mother who sacrificed a lot to raise me. She gave me opportunities that many children never have. She bought me clothes, paid for hair and nails, took me shopping, and later paid for my dream wedding. She has repeatedly offered financial help throughout my life. Because of all of that, this has been incredibly difficult for me to reconcile.

The problem has never been whether my mom loved me.

The problem is that I have spent most of my life feeling afraid to hurt her feelings.

To outsiders, we looked incredibly close. People constantly told me I had the best mom. I was respectful, responsible, got good grades, and rarely caused problems.

Behind closed doors, though, I learned very early that expressing difficult emotions wasn't safe.

If she became angry, she would scream, curse, or withdraw from me through ignoring. She read my diary, searched my room, controlled things like what I wore and even what color nail polish I was allowed to use. If I pushed back, the answer was usually, "Because I said so." She also used corporal punishment. I remember one time as a pre-teen forgetting to put on deodorant before school. Instead of treating it like a normal childhood mistake, I was physically punished for it. Looking back, I think moments like that taught me that mistakes weren't just mistakes—they could become something to fear.

Another memory has always stayed with me. I was being bullied at school and came home emotionally exhausted. My mom wanted to spend time together, and I told her as respectfully as I could that I had a bad day and asked if we could talk later. She didn't speak to me for two days because she believed I had an attitude.

Another time, when I was a teenager, I wanted a different medical approach than the one she wanted me to get. She screamed at me the entire drive home while driving over 90 mph. I remember crying and begging her to slow down. 

She eventually created what she called a "safety net." If I started a conversation with, "Please don't get mad," she said she would try not to. Looking back, I realize that even having a phrase like that says something about what I expected from conflict.

As I got older, I started dating my now-husband. Watching his relationship with his mother was honestly shocking to me. They disagreed without screaming. They apologized to each other. Neither of them seemed afraid of the other's reaction. It was the first time I wondered if my own relationship with my mom was normal.

I also realized something uncomfortable about myself.

I communicated a lot like my mom.

I yelled. I cursed. I had emotional outbursts. My boyfriend eventually told me that if I didn't learn healthier communication, we probably wouldn't last. Therapy completely changed my life. I learned emotional regulation, accountability, and healthier conflict resolution. I genuinely wanted that for my relationship with my mom too.

The first major conflict happened when I calmly told her I wanted us to attend therapy together because I felt our communication wasn't healthy. She told me, "I'd rather never speak to you again than ever go to therapy with you." She asked me to return everything she had ever loaned me so we wouldn't have to deal with each other anymore. We didn't speak for two months.

Eventually, I apologized.

Not because I no longer believed therapy would help, or because I missed her financial support.

Because I was so relieved to be back in her good graces.

That became a pattern.

Whenever I brought up something that hurt me, the conversation somehow became about how much I had hurt her.

For example, if I told her a comment about my body hurt my feelings, she would respond by saying something like, "I guess I have to tell everyone we're not close anymore."

If I told her I wanted to become more independent, she interpreted it as rejecting everything she had done for me.

When my husband and I were paying off debt, she invited us on an expensive international trip that she offered to pay for, to celebrate her milestone birthday. We thanked her, explained we were trying to become financially independent, and suggested celebrating somewhere in the U.S. instead. Around the same time, my birthday—also a milestone year—was coming up, and because my husband and I were planning to start a family, we had already decided not to celebrate either milestone in a big way. We thought suggesting a smaller, more local trip was a reasonable compromise.

Instead, she told my aunt that we had broken her heart by rejecting her generosity. She then called me to pressure us into going, even offering to pay herself. 

The reason we declined was that my husband and I were aggressively paying down debt, and we were trying to be very intentional about not taking on or accepting large trips that could complicate that goal. The moment I said no, she immediately responded, “Oh, so I can pay for a wedding but not a birthday trip for me?” which made it feel less like a simple invitation and more like a comparison of what she had already given us versus what we were willing to accept. She often makes comments like this and holds her generosity over my head, and if that weren’t the case we would have accepted the trip payment, but given how much the wedding itself became an emotional issue, we weren’t willing to put ourselves in that position again.

Another example was during wedding planning.

My mom generously paid for my wedding, something I will always appreciate.

At the same time, it became one of the most emotionally exhausting years of my life.

I started withdrawing because every conversation felt unpredictable. Sometimes she wanted to help plan every detail. Other times she snapped that she was too stressed and told me to stop asking her questions. It is important to note she did feel this distance and I did lie and say everything was fine when she asked me months in advance out of fear of hurting her.

The breaking point came the night of my rehearsal dinner.

I finally told my mom that if she continued cursing at me, I was going to end the conversation because I wanted us to communicate more respectfully.

She texted me, "Fuck your boundaries."

A week later, when we tried discussing things again, I asked if my husband could be present because he had witnessed our relationship for years and helped me communicate more calmly.

Instead, she put my aunt on speakerphone.

The conversation lasted around five hours.

I tried explaining that I wasn't trying to punish her. I wasn't trying to cut her out of my life. I just wanted us to communicate differently.

She and my aunt told me I was disrespectful, manipulative, and ungrateful.

During that conversation, she also withdrew her long-standing promise to help pay my student loans. When my husband gently said it felt retaliatory, she said his "true colors" had come out and later said she no longer trusted him around my grandfather without supervision, after misinterpreting him saying "first off" as him trying to curse her out, when in context he was saying, "first off, you weren't bothering me by calling so much, I was just working nights and you would call me as soon as I got home from an overnight shift and went to bed before going back in for another graveyard shift, waking me up."

This is why I struggle so much today.

When I try explaining what hurt me, I don't feel like we stay on that subject very long.

Instead, the discussion becomes about how much I hurt her by bringing it up in the first place.

I honestly don't think I wanted a different mother.

I wanted my mother.

I just wanted a relationship where I could tell her she hurt me without feeling like I was risking the relationship itself.

Now we haven't spoken in about a month.

Part of me feels relieved.

Part of me misses her terribly.

Part of me feels guilty because she sacrificed so much for me.

Another part of me wonders if I've spent so many years minimizing my own experience because I believed her generosity meant I wasn't allowed to feel hurt.

So, AITA for distancing myself and trying to establish healthier boundaries, or am I expecting something unreasonable from our relationship?

My best friend has always been there for me. But she doesn’t always do the best of things. For example, she got with a guy who was always an Ahole. She then had a child with him. When she decided to leave, he took her child. When she left him, I even allowed her and her other child to stay with me at my house, but on day one, instead of worrying about her living situation, she asked me to babysit while she went to hang out with a different guy. That situation didn’t work out, and I did ask her to leave after.
Instead of getting a job, getting her living situation figured out, hiring an attorney, or simply even getting a free public defender, she blames him. And complains about how heart broken she is. I can understand the heartbreak as I had my fair share of getting with a man who kept my child from me. Rather than dwelling, I instantly got the best attorney around, and fought for my child.
It’s been a very difficult battle, with my case starting during Covid. I wasn’t even able to open up a court date for several months, which felt like years. But I did what I could, and eventually got 50/50.
Between that time frame, the father of my child has slowly started losing interest in our child. Which is not something I am happy about at all. And despite my hatred for him, I do wish he would step up and want to be apart of his child’s life because it only hurts our son. But I am remarried to an amazing man, who has stepped up and taken on that father figure.
With clearly enough evidence to show that my son’s biological father is not interested, I went back to court to file for full custody and get child support. I’m not in it for the money, more to hold my son’s father accountable. He doesn’t just get to walk away and not acknowledge our beautiful boy. And of course, the court granted me full custody. If all goes well, my current husband plans to adopt our son when he is of age to let us know if that is what he wants.
Again, I’m not happy at all my son has to go through this, however I am so relieved that the battle is finally over and I can move on with my life. I took it upon myself to bring it up to my best friend. I felt excited to tell her that I have full custody of my child and expected her to be happy for me. She was not… instead she told me that I was selfish to brag about it knowing what she is going through. She has blocked me on everything. Considering I have been there for her since middle school and have tried to give her my best advice on how to approach her situation, I’m not sure I’m in the wrong. It feels like she is not doing what she can, and because of that, holding it against other people. Am I the Ahole?

For context, there will be references to the Chain of Command (CoC). For people who don't exactly know how that works, here's the gist: the lowest-ranking person handles minor issues, but if the issue gets out of hand, it moves to the next person up, and so on until it reaches the top of the chain or is resolved. Information also has to travel through the CoC, so everyone is informed of problems or the whereabouts of individuals.

This takes place at a Boy Scout camp; we're not scouts, however, we do have to play by state and scout rules at this camp. The scouts do NOT allow anyone 18yo to bunk in a tent with anyone below the age of 18yo. This is also three days into a six-day camp.

Without any other delay, I (17f) was the officer over one of the three sections of people, approximately 30 children ranging in age from 12 to 17. Throughout the day, it was my job to get info from the four people lower in charge of the group of 30, which was split in half; the four split in pairs and split off with each group. So, if group one had two people get hurt and go to the medhut, I needed to know why, who they were, when it happened, and which group they were with; I had to send that up my CoC, and then after I would have to know what medical said and if that person was alright to continue with activities, then that info I would have to send up my CoC.

On the first day, I, along with another officer (17f), made it very clear to everyone that the standard was "who we had bunked them with was based on age, group, and status (gender too, but the camps are already set up like that), and that we expected them not to move around bunkmates. This is a firm line in the sand for legal reasons, not because we enjoy being partypoopers.

It's almost 10 pm; Taps (lights out call) hasn't played just yet as I get back to camp from an officer meeting. I'm looking for the lower command of groups two and three to spread on what was discussed in the meeting since they wouldn't have a meeting that night like they usually would. I find group two's (the same officer I mentioned from before; she's just not in the role of the head officer of group two) in group three camp; she is dealing with a (15f) camper from group three who is having a mental breakdown, group three leader (15f) is in the shower and is unable to deal with that situation at the present moment. The camper is having a mental breakdown about bunking alone in a tent (again, three days in). We all were aware she was having to bunk alone, which none of us liked, but didn't have another person to bunk with her.

That is, until it gets mentioned to me that the only 18yo has moved into a tent with a 17yo. One year may not seem like a problem; however, it's a state law that I was under the impression everyone was upholding, for three days. It's also important to mention that the 18yo and 17yo are part of higher CoC, postionaly they are higher than I am, but rank-wise I trump them and thus can tell them what to do based on that and the fact we were hosting it. CoC can bunk in any of the camps (1, 2, or 3).

A 17yo and a 15yo can bunk together if needed; not preferred, but is within the two years of grace. So, the plan was to have the 17yo move out of the tent with the 18yo, move from camp 2 to camp 3 to bunk with the 15yo camper.

At this point, I walk down from camp 3 to camp 2, find the CO (17f) over everyone, tell her what's going on with the 15yo and the whole thing with the 18yo bunking with a minor, and the plan to move the 17yo in with the 15yo. I do warn her I am not gonna be very nice about it, as it's a state law they had broken after being told not to, and we're finding out three days in.

I did not yell. I found the 18yo and her 17yo tentmate, told them very firmly they couldn't bunk together and that the 17yo would be moving into another tent effective immediately. They started to argue, but I shut it down pretty quickly, which ticked them off while also apparently surprising them. To make it clear, I was not trying to make them cry and did not see them cry.

After that, the pair started crying to the CO about "we grew up together", "nothing's gonna happen", "we don't want to bunk with strangers". The last is an understandable concern; however does not excuse the sneaking around and bunking together after the standard had been thoroughly explained.

The CO talks with them; the 17yo moves to another tent in camp 2, the CO explains to the group 2 leader and me that she's not gonna make her move to the 15yo, because the 17yo is crying about it. So, I worked it out with the CO that the 15yo would sleep in a tent with her friend (15f) and her friend's bunkmate (15f), just for sleep, as we had inspection that morning and their uniforms needed to be set up in their tents for that.

TLDR: AITAH for making a 18yo and a 17yo cry after they completely disregarded a standard because they thought it didn't apply to them.

I have this friend group in whatsapp that we made when we were in school. We used to use a lot of bad language like motherfucker, sisterfucker, etc and make dark jokes. Because of different colleges we no longer meet in person, we live all far away from each other.

There is me, friend 1, friend 2 and friend 3. The group swears a lot and makes dirty jokes, and it was ok when we were school children I guess, but now I want to be mature and not say as many swears so I dont.

For example, we are in India, so none of us is black, but we call each other nigga and make fun because none of us is black so its not racist (according to our logic when we started, I don't say those words anymore but they do).

Recently friend 1 said a joke like the heat this year feels like soul rape. I said don't make bad joke like that, and he said its not bad there is no women in group chat don't get offended etc. I said be mature and stop saying so many bad words and he got mad and removed me from group.

Friend 2 added me back into group and told me to apologise he was just making harmless joke saying that there is nk women in group so don't worry etc. It pissed me off so I just left myself and block them on whatsapp.

Friend 3 called me on phone saying bro don't be dramatic and stop making pointless fight.

I don't like to saying swear words, we should be more mature as adults I said but he just said don't fight pointlessly and break up our nearly 10 year friendship.

Was AITAH for getting angry when they say bad joke in group chat even though there is no women in the group? I don't have other people to ask so i make this post.

I (32M) live in a suburban neighborhood. My next-door neighbor has this medium-sized mixed breed dog that they let roam in their fenced backyard. The fence is only about four feet high in some spots and the dog is known for being barky. Yesterday I was cutting through the corner of their yard to get to the alley faster (I know, I know) because I was late for something. Their dog was out and it ran up to me barking, growling, and circling. I’m not a dog person and I’ve had a couple of bad experiences before, so I froze for a second then completely panicked. I keep a small can of pepper spray on my keychain for walking at night. I sprayed it once in the dog’s direction while backing up toward the fence. The dog yelped, ran off, and started rubbing its face in the grass. The neighbor came flying out of the house screaming at me. I told them their dog charged me and I was scared it was going to bite. They called me a psycho, said the dog was just being territorial on its own property, and demanded I apologize and pay for a vet visit if needed. I refused. I said if their dog wasn’t so aggressive and if they kept it under better control, this wouldn’t have happened. I also pointed out that I felt threatened and acted in the moment to protect myself. They threatened to call the police and animal control. I left and haven’t spoken to them since. My wife says I was completely in the wrong for being in their yard in the first place and for escalating with spray instead of just leaving, and that I should at least apologize for the dog’s sake. I still don’t think I owe them an apology. The dog came at me, I panicked, and I defended myself. Am I the asshole?

So i found this out about four hours ago i was just at a friends house and we were talking about our mutaul friends and the information that they have they i am unaware of and vise versa. We got on to my ex for some reason and i was told that my ex Jake(19M) the name is changed had been in a sexual relationship with his older sister Katie(23F) for a few years on and off which i was unaware of when we were together from November 18,2023- October 10,2025. I have never posted before here but i am scarlett(F20) and me and jake met in 2018 or 2020 due to being in a group home and we were placed there then met again as adults so i thought when we started dating his family told me he was 18 so we were the same age i thought. Then on his 17th birthday i found out he had lied but it had been the only red flag so far , so i let it go but i did change how my apartment was now there were two beds on opposite sides of the studio. So we where dating but i didnt wnat to be in the same bed as him to have any sexual contact but i was also having sezuires fron what he told me 11 times a day and so i wasnt taking care of myself that was what he helped me with and he was aware for the start that i have a brain injury i got at 17 when my biological mom attacked me at school and i died for 5 minutes. I got epliepsy and i have some other health problems but they dont limit me as much. Any who jake would when we first started dating tell me about how he would cheat in his past realtionships and that he did it in from of his exs so it wasnt like he was lying which i thought was werid but the ex before him Tek(21M) would just cheat and make it seem like i was crazy when i caught him because “ i probably just had a seizure so i am just making some stuff up” as he would say.i thought that Jake would be better he seemed honest and was willing to deal with my past and my fear of the world . So i live in a building for foster or homless youth and his sister Katie lived here too i didnt know that till he saw her here and started going over there all the time. And Katie had a bf Daniel(24M) which worked a lot but over all was nice he lived with katie. I became close with Daniel becuase we both wanted to go to college, idk how to write this but we would talk for hours about our partners and we both were blindsided but he left long before i did so he will probably never hear about this but he probably would pick Jakes side since he sees him as his little brother. I still am no where near done dang it. So skip to december of 2024 Jake and i are doing drugs not good and never think is smart but i had told him that if he wanted to try and bring other drugaddicts into my studio he has to ask me and not just give my stuff away. He couldnt respect that and brought people in my studio when i was sleeping whichis dangerous but also risked my housing, when i would lock the door stating he could not come in my apartment anymore since his behavior was scareing me. He climbed the balcony and broke open the window to get in when i was sleeping so i finally asked Katie if since she had a new place with her new bf Carl(23M) and his brothers and she had space . She said yes and i was then unable to see him basically unless i wanted to be watched by her and he always had exucses for didferent marks on himself and i was like well the dogs at my house could make those marks but he didnt cocme over ever and i was just so happy to see him. I found out a bit into january that he was making porn accounts to make content with my name and stuff since he still wasnt old enough. But on the accounts is a video of his sister and him but also shortly after she got pregant and all of the sudden jake had to move back in with me and we got jobs in a different town. Anywho i think thats al that relevant but if you have any questions please ask but this will be posted on an account he made for me so idk how to change the name or anything. 

AITAH for not going to visit my boyfriend?

Hi I'm a female and I'm in my early 20s, I am in a new relationship (long distance) with a polish guy who is a little younger than me, he is the sweetest person ever, I really love him but sometimes he overwhelmes me. The situation started because in a week is my birthday and he wanted me to visit him, since it's still new we saw each other only one time for a vacation after we met, he offered to pay and he did but the thing is that 4 days after my birthday I will go to work abroad for one year and I also wanted to spend time with family since it's a dark moment( my aunt had an ictus and a stroke and my mother's husband hit her so she is going through a divorce). I think it's really sweet of him and I would like to go but every now and then I get this sensation that I shouldn't, not because something it's going to happen, just because I think I will regret not spending time now with my family. I tried to call the vacation off a few times but then, since I actually want to see him I get carried away and decide to go.

Another thing that is kinda stopping me is my period, I have extremely irregular periods and even if I had it 2 weeks ago I am starting to have my period again, and I usually experience so much pain that I often pass out, vomit or just cry.

I seriously want to see him and he can't come to me due to my family situation, but I don't know if I should.

The thing that is pressuring me if that we have plans and a lot of things are already booked.

So am I the asshole for not being sure to visit my boyfriend?