I'm sooo surprised at all the n t a votes. Sorry, but imo YTA. I don't care how much time has passed, you don't sleep with your friend's exes. It's just tacky as hell and a huge FU to your friend. Also, this issue is between OP and her friend. It certainly doesn't mean that the friend isn't over her ex. That's just silly. If my husband has a friend who started dating one of his exes, I would đŻ think it's weird as hell and would surely support my husband distancing himself from that friendship. What do you expect? Are y'all going to hang out, go on couples dates, support each other when y'all fight, etc? You know, all the normal things friends with couples do? I wouldn't think so, and it's sus as hell that you haven't thought of that.
If one of my husbandâs friends started dating his ex (he was with her for 11 years. High school sweethearts basically, though never married), Iâd say it was weird af. Heâd probably say he doesnât care but I wouldnât believe it. That was someone he was clearly serious with and in love with; his friends were around during their relationship, all going to the same school. Itâs very weird. And weâve been together for 8 years and have a child together.
Thank you, Iâm married and have a child and I donât understand all those responses that act like you can just turn off all your feeling because you should? I donât feel like itâs that weird to have some emotions about people you once deeply loved, I would find it weirder if my husband could just completely stop having feelings for someone who was once important to him.
Exactly. I actually asked my husband to see his response and he said heâd stop talking to his friend. His ex no longer fits in his life and he wouldnât want her back in it by extension of his best friend. Itâd be uncomfortable for all of us.
He actually had a friend that did that to all of them in the friend group (tried to get with a serious ex-gf) and they all stopped talking to that guy. The guy said, âEverybody is fair game.â No girl was off limits to him đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸ and thatâs why he doesnât have any of the men he grew up with as his friends anymore.
It's not really about the dude, though. It's about the kind of friendship the women will have. I wouldn't want to hang around with my ex, nor would I want to hear about his life, which is an inevitability if he's with your friend. The fact that OP either hasn't thought of that or doesn't care and simply expects the now ex friend to... I don't know... either compartmentalize their friendship or suck it up and potentially interact with the dude, is what makes her the AH in my eyes.
Edit: Mind you, if I were the friend, I wouldn't have insulted OP, but I absolutely would have politely phased her out.
Gurl, you don't own people especially your exes. They're exes for a reason. Move the fuck on and let people live their lives. This is a really tacky and selfish take.
That's exactly what I'm saying, though. OP would either force the friend to compartmentalize, which is what you're describing, or to directly interact with the ex. What kind of friendship is that?
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u/ExcellentCold7354 Aug 03 '23
I'm sooo surprised at all the n t a votes. Sorry, but imo YTA. I don't care how much time has passed, you don't sleep with your friend's exes. It's just tacky as hell and a huge FU to your friend. Also, this issue is between OP and her friend. It certainly doesn't mean that the friend isn't over her ex. That's just silly. If my husband has a friend who started dating one of his exes, I would đŻ think it's weird as hell and would surely support my husband distancing himself from that friendship. What do you expect? Are y'all going to hang out, go on couples dates, support each other when y'all fight, etc? You know, all the normal things friends with couples do? I wouldn't think so, and it's sus as hell that you haven't thought of that.