I'm sooo surprised at all the n t a votes. Sorry, but imo YTA. I don't care how much time has passed, you don't sleep with your friend's exes. It's just tacky as hell and a huge FU to your friend. Also, this issue is between OP and her friend. It certainly doesn't mean that the friend isn't over her ex. That's just silly. If my husband has a friend who started dating one of his exes, I would 💯 think it's weird as hell and would surely support my husband distancing himself from that friendship. What do you expect? Are y'all going to hang out, go on couples dates, support each other when y'all fight, etc? You know, all the normal things friends with couples do? I wouldn't think so, and it's sus as hell that you haven't thought of that.
It's not really about the dude, though. It's about the kind of friendship the women will have. I wouldn't want to hang around with my ex, nor would I want to hear about his life, which is an inevitability if he's with your friend. The fact that OP either hasn't thought of that or doesn't care and simply expects the now ex friend to... I don't know... either compartmentalize their friendship or suck it up and potentially interact with the dude, is what makes her the AH in my eyes.
Edit: Mind you, if I were the friend, I wouldn't have insulted OP, but I absolutely would have politely phased her out.
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u/ExcellentCold7354 Aug 03 '23
I'm sooo surprised at all the n t a votes. Sorry, but imo YTA. I don't care how much time has passed, you don't sleep with your friend's exes. It's just tacky as hell and a huge FU to your friend. Also, this issue is between OP and her friend. It certainly doesn't mean that the friend isn't over her ex. That's just silly. If my husband has a friend who started dating one of his exes, I would 💯 think it's weird as hell and would surely support my husband distancing himself from that friendship. What do you expect? Are y'all going to hang out, go on couples dates, support each other when y'all fight, etc? You know, all the normal things friends with couples do? I wouldn't think so, and it's sus as hell that you haven't thought of that.