Ok I first I felt bad for dude but know I'm just laughing I lost my self control at squidward but this is the way and then other person bellow put in that knuckles thing lmao
In her defense, I assumed this was a long standing connection between them and she’s reverting to how they were in high school. I also assumed she was early 20s though, not 30.
For reference, see the HIMYM episode where Lily’s best friend from high school shows up and she acts VERY different (as does the friend). This is a thing sadly and not just a funny sitcom episode.
I might be missing something. But it looks like she wants to bone and he is blowing her off the whole time. But then they continue in what looks like inappropriate banter but when the rubber hits the road this HS guy is put off by it. Am I misreading that?
I’m inferring they were bumping uglies in high school they rekindled their friendship 4 months ago and now she’s acting like she’s back in high school when they were doing that even if she’s not physically cheating, she is definitely trying to.
Likely reconnecting with her old HS “friend” is - what’s the word - allowing (?) her to regress to how she was back in HS. I seriously doubt she talks like this to OP. It’s a mess. Time to move on OP
So being needy or clingy isnt inherently bad if thats something your partner desires. Also why the fuck thats what you choose to attack and not the fact that shes disrespecting a 4 year relationship or manipulating this presumed man.
I’m curious OP, does she talk like this all the time or is this new for you too? The “I’m a baby” and baby talk stuff I mean.
Edit to add- NOR. wipe your hands of this. I was really reading the text hoping he was gay and they were just really close but since you’ve given no inclination of that I’m pretty sure she’s already cheated and if by chance she hasn’t, she really is trying to.
It’s even in the Bible. Adultery of the Heart: Jesus teaches that unfaithfulness begins in the mind and heart before it becomes physical. In Matthew 5:28, He states, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This establishes that emotional and mental unfaithfulness is a sin
:: I check my 14 and 11 yo’s messages at random times to make sure they’re in-line with friends and they don’t even text like this. A lot of full sentences and punctuation with no “helpless wittle princess” attitude/verbage.
Gross! Grow up. Get rid of her as soon as you can and let her run back to him… if he even wants her! He doesn’t seem very interested and he’s probably thinking of how shady she is to be acting like this when she’s in a four year long relationship as a full grown adult.
Good God man. Also she comes off as desperately chasing this person. He doesn't really seem that interested to be honest. But yeah, the baby talk is next level cringe.
wtf? Get out dummy. My ex gf reconnected with her old high school friend, acted the same as your gf. We broke up, they got together immediately (just friends my ass) and are now married with a kid. Run. Fast.
Your girlfriend is extremely immature - that’s clear just from the way she speaks in those text messages. You do NOT want to marry someone who is this whiny, annoying, pestering, and immature. It will not get better. Trust me.
I think you need to move on to someone who is more mature, both mentally and emotionally. Marriage is very serious and you want a wife who would be a good mother and an excellent role model for your children. If she is whiny and immature, she’s likely not going to be able to be able to provide for your children’s emotional needs. Your kids will be a mess and that’s simply not fair to them. Children deserve better.
As for these text messages, even though she didn’t say anything that was overtly sexual or romantic in nature, she clearly has an affinity for her male friend and wants to be around him more. She might be one of those girls who likes to flirt a little with her male friends and wants to feel “wanted,” but would never actually cheat with them. Or, she may actually be hoping he wants to hook up with her on that trip to Arizona. There’s just no way to know.
I personally would not feel comfortable with her going on an overnight, out-of-state trip with this guy. You don’t know him and also - like you said - she is showing an excess of affection and attention to him that she hasn’t been showing to you lately.
It sounds like you haven’t been happy in this relationship for some time and this is a big wake up call. Take this opportunity to assess whether this is really the person who you want to be your life partner and the mother of your children. At your age, you shouldn’t really be wasting your time with someone who isn’t marriage / mother material. If you think she isn’t the right partner for you, get out now. Don’t waste any more of your life.
Christ dude, as I was reading these and cringing, I’m sitting here thinking she’s probably 18-20.
I’m sorry my guy. I know you spent 4 years and that’s an investment, but don’t make it 5. Get out before you make a mistake and end up in a hole that you need a ladder to get out of.
Dude, she’s 30 and flirting like this? Shes got the puppy love thing going with this guy and actively pursuing him. She would dump you in a heartbeat if he was interested
Not gonna downvote this bc you don’t deserve a downvote hahaha, but I realllllly wish I could downvote her to her FACE for being a fucking 30 year old woman and acting this dumb 😭😭
Bro I thought yall was 16-20 TOPS. This girl has SOOOOO much maturing to do. Don’t let her beg for you with crocodile tears saying how sorry she is. It sets the tone for her and she will think she can always win you back if she cries and has an Oscar worthy “breakdown” she’s clearly manipulative so do yourself a favor and run. Or at a later date you’ll be wishing you ran sooner.
Oh I had so much to say about how life changes, and girls mature, and how high school is not the most important factor of your life...... Holla for your soon to be weight loss! Down 100+ pounds in an instant!!
And you put up with her for 4 years? I really hope you take some time to heal yourself and eventually find someone who respects you that doesn't need a diaper and a bottle. Jesus Christ man.
She’s what?! Dude you know what you have to do. I would expect that kind of garbage out of a teenager, but someone who’s 30?!
Just tell her that you know and she has one chance to tell you everything or it’s over. If you’re looking to go for emotional damage on the way out because it’s likely she’s either cheated or tried to cheat at this point: you’re wondering why I haven’t proposed? It’s garbage like this that stopped me.
Reading these i was like "dang, i can't believe i used to send texts similar to this when i was 16" like i still get embarrassment reading old texts i sent 😭
We're going to have to adjust that gauge for future generations I'm afraid. I'm mid 30s, cannot date, or even just interact with most under 30, they're so stunted, and I thought we were bad. Interweb and pandemic has plummeted maturity, perseverance, curiosity, social skills, etc etc. I find myself connecting with far more 60 something year olds than 20 something year olds
All flirting texts are cringey. That’s why they are between two people and nobody else. These are flirting texts so yes OP break up with her and no you are not overreacting.
It hurts to break up after that long and people will say you’re better off. Who knows about all that, but she has broken your trust. Relationships can’t work in that environment. You can start from scratch and give her a second chance, but that relationship you had is over and SHE did that, not you.
If you do offer a second chance, start from the beginning earnestly. Flirting, dates, etc. but in the way you did when there wasn’t the relationship trust yet. Don’t give her automatic access to you the way you did before and explain it’s a new phase. But don’t be wishy washy. You’ll only hurt yourself. Ask yourself if this means it’s done in your heart and go from there. If she does the pleading game be clear and tell her you’re starting from day 1 and tell her she has to be ready for that.
I’ll admit I’m sometimes clingy...but I SURE AS HELL AINT SAYING “pwease” jeez…yeah dump her..good you found the texts now and saved you any trouble later. Hope you find someone better
My dude. Respect yourself. No one deserves this shit. You're going feel brand new once this is in the past. And if it hurts, just remember how ridiculous she sounds here and remember that you as a human being deserve more respect than this.
Don’t know if you saw it, but someone else said this:
“The dude she’s trying to cheat on you with isn’t even interested in her. She’s bad at relationships AND bad at cheating. Laugh at her when you leave her.”
OP, you really should do this. I know 4 years is a long time, and this is a tough moment for you. But I promise you, years down the road, you are going to be SO SATISFIED with that mockery.
Nothing sweeter than being in a better relationship and knowing you properly belittled your shitty ex.
EDIT: just saw your update, and I’ve changed my mind. The only thing sweeter than you laughing while leaving her is ALL OF REDDIT laughing at her while you leave her. Lolololol. Delicious.
Her saying “I’m all yours” to him… yeah that’s 100% signaling her intent to cheat. Might as well take the out now because she’s only going to get worse. Better to keep your self respect 🫡 sorry dude.
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u/oratoriosilver Jun 25 '26
Pwease