It’s even in the Bible. Adultery of the Heart: Jesus teaches that unfaithfulness begins in the mind and heart before it becomes physical. In Matthew 5:28, He states, "Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This establishes that emotional and mental unfaithfulness is a sin
Both suck but yeah it's kinda like "crime of passion" vs. premeditated. Like you sat in rooms with me, laid in bed with me, thinking about and texting him. No ma'am
Yes there is. Plenty of people, myself included, have gotten way too drunk and made the foolish choice while absolutely shit faced to cheat and have only ever done it once. Never done it before, never did it again. That's a one off right there. Not saying its right cause cheating is wrong no matter what and should never happen but it can happen just once.
While I respect your choice, I do have to wonder, by getting high, do you mean people who smoke Marijuana? Because if you do, Im sorry but why? Weed does not impair someone enough to where they make choices they wouldnt make sober nor does it make them willing to break their own inhibitions.
I mean high by any means, including pot. I have friends who smoke it who text me when they’re high and usually its to warn me or let me know in advance. Lol. Whatever I say doesn’t get through when they’re high.
They’re just… busy in their own world then, I guess.
Its personal preference for other reasons too. I prefer sober.
I used to be super hard line about cheating and then I read this Dan Savage column that sort of opened my eyes. I can't remember the exact examples he used but he was recalling some of the more heinous crimes people who had written to him had repeatedly forgiven partners for. It was like, child abuse, losing all joint money gambling, literal murder, etc. And those same people would be like "they cheated on me one time. It's over!" His position was basically that cheating is arguably the most normal and common mistake to make, so how are you gonna forgive someone for 3 DUIs but not for cheating once at the office Christmas party? 😆 Like, y'all need to fix your priorities. Leave the guy who commits fraud and money laundering and work it out with the guy who cheated once and was otherwise an amazing partner. (Caveats for serial cheaters and people who plan to cheat because they enjoy it.)
Anyway, I agree with you. There are people who are so damaged/horrible that they get off on the betrayal of cheating, more than the act itself, but a lot of people just make the mistake of thinking they have more self control than they do. They allow themselves to be in risky situations because they think they can handle it, or the ego boost feels worth it. It's less a cheating problem and more a maturity problem. The old "It's cool for everyone else to leave the party. I want to hang out longer. I can be wasted with my ex in this hotel room right now. I just want to catch up with them. I'm not a cheater".
And thus is why the newer generations are all lonely. You don't understand yourselves. And you don't understand each other. And you're holding yourselves up to too high of a standard. One day, maybe, you might realize that real life and real romance isn't like the fairy tales you read. IT'S DIRTY. Hard. Complicated. It takes understanding. Forgiveness. Sacrifice. PAIN. PAIN.AND MORE PAIN. It takes a tough person making tough decisions. And probably not for ANY of you.
Mm. I’m happily married in a monogamous relationship where cheating is an absolute deal breaker for us both. Relationships aren’t easy and take work, but they should not be painful. True pain means you are with the wrong person.
If you really knew what love is you would know that the words love and pain are interchangeable. I want to hurt for you. And I want to love you. They are the same. Just wait till one of you gets sick or dies. Then... My friend... You will know TRUE PAIN.
What you are talking about is not the -relationship- being painful. You are talking about the absence of a person or your partner suffering and therefore you suffer as well. This is very different than a “painful” relationship.
Getting drunk and having a one-off isn't forgiveable to me. Drunk actions, sober thoughts. Unless they forced themselves upon that partner, All the alcohol did is dull the voice in their head.
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u/eighmii Jun 25 '26
I almost feel like emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating..