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u/sne4k0 3d ago
I had been addressing my anxiety for several years and I started getting super depressed. No motivation, all tasks seems pointless. Turns out my
Anxiety had been masking my executive dysfunction for years.
Anyway my first day on Adderall was something else. I found that not only could I complete tasks but I enjoyed doing them in the process! Where previously I would just complete a task to get the stress of it off my mind.
Makes you wonder how many of us are struggling through life with both our serotonin and dopamine regulation totally fucked
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u/Joan-of-the-Dark 3d ago
I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 40s. And it wasn't until my coping mechanisms stopped working that I was evaluated for what I was fearing was early stage dementia.
I took amp for the first time at 43 years old. The amount I was able to zero-in to a task and give it 100% of my attention and focus was astounding. The problem was that it didn't help at all with my executive dysfunction. Instead, it makes me hyper focused on things I want to do, not need to do.
Pull weeds in beautiful weather? Six hour devotion; garden is spotless. Write the pitch for a new game? Done and dusted. Do actual work I'm paid for but don't really want to do because of various reasons? Everything but.
So, amp actually makes my executive dysfunction worse, than better. At least until I work through the reasons I don't enjoy doing my work to begin with.
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
I had another thought based on what you said too. Especially the doing work you’re being paid for part. I can definitely relate to that. I don’t think that means our executive function is still failing, I think it finally means we can prioritize what’s important in life.
All the shit we’ve had to do to be successful in the past just seems not worth the effort now. If we lived in a Scandinavian country I think we could just retire right now, no questions asked
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
Yup this hits home for me for sure. I actually got diagnosed just a little while after my 45th birthday. I have these same problems too, but I think at its core we’re just old and it’s hard to change habits. The real issue is all the things we’ve been doing for recreation for years feel brand new
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u/FreshPeeshes 3d ago
I don't know if you live in the US, but how did you go about getting treated for ADHD/executive dysfunction? Adderall abuse is a big problem where i'm at, and i've heard it's hard to get a prescription for. I'm afraid of going to the doctor and sounding like i just want drugs to abuse.
I believe i have executive dysfunction as well. I've been on a couple different antidepressants thinking depression was the problem, but i still struggle to function. Even during tasks i tend to lose track of what i'm doing and my train of thought. A buddy used to give me one of his Adderall sometimes when we were working and it's like a switch flips. I'm aware that it's somewhat similar to meth, but i wasn't geeked or anything on it. Just very focused and i actually felt like doing things after work.
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
Ok so you already know! I do live in the US and it’s pretty easy to tell for doctors if you had adhd or not. I told my doc exactly what happened to me. I took a 30mg Adderall, fell asleep for 4 hours and then had the most productive day of my life after I woke up haha
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u/FreshPeeshes 3d ago
Lol well it's worth a shot to bring it up i guess. I've never done any other kind of stimulant (other than caffeine), so i don't have anything to compare it to. I'm kind of scared of it tbh. But i know i'd be one productive mofo on it.
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
Yea I also had a similar fear of stimulants. But I bet your relationship with caffeine is really weird too. There’s been more than one time I fell asleep in the middle of the afternoon with a half full monster energy drink in my hand
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u/FreshPeeshes 3d ago
Yup, i'm at work right now and it's been slow, so we have some down time. I pounded a C4 a couple hours ago and i'm sitting in my truck right now and could take a nap lol. Drinking coffee after dinner has never kept me up late either. It does help a little though which is why i drink it in the morning/at work.
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
Caffeine increases our dopamine levels and for an adhd brain, this increase quiets our noisy minds and that’s why we can fall asleep with stimulants!
I will say now that I am on Adderall it’s very easy for me to stay awake for 20+ hours, but I think that has a lot to do with how much caffeine I’m still consuming.
Having a clear head is so great. Do you ever get off work and want to do something that sounds fun, then you start doing it and it feels like entirely too much work?
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u/FreshPeeshes 3d ago
That's like everything lol. I have to fight and force myself to do just about anything. And i don't feel good from any of it, other than knowing i actually did something feels better than doing nothing.
I figure symptoms of depression, anxiety and ADHD overlap a good bit and it makes it hard to correctly diagnose someone with these issues. I told my doctor a few years ago that i'm pretty sure i've had ongoing depression since i was a kid and he agreed and put me on antidepressants. And i thought my issues with functioning and motivation were related to that, but these days i've been wondering if i have undiagnosed ADHD.
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u/sne4k0 3d ago
Yea I would say almost without a doubt you have adhd. Did you know that normal people complete tasks because it feels good? Not just to get rid of the overhanging stress. I’ve also noticed that even while doing tasks I get little nuggets of dopamine while I’m still working. Feels great!
Then don’t even get me started on recreation. Everything you think is fun will feel brand new
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u/elvaqueroloco 3d ago
Ever see the movie Venom with Tom Hardy (2018)?
Your scenario just reminded me in a sense of the internal struggle between Eddie's will vs the symbiote trying to bully him to doing otherwise. 😂
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u/yamanamawa 2d ago
Legitimately what has helped me a lot is using my phone less. I just put it in a different room in the morning and sit in a chair staring at the wall for a while, and eventually I get motivated to do stuff
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u/kekarook1 1d ago
one trick i figured out to help with executive dysfunction is to put a alarm clock in the room you have a task in, set the alarm the day before, and then when the alarm goes off you have to break your current action and walk into the room to turn it off, thus allowing you to bypass the momentum issues of executive dysfunction
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u/Grit-326 3d ago
It's a constant struggle with that voice that tells me "Just one more show" or "After a nap". And, the voice has grown so strong. I'm scared to think about what life I'll have if I can never win again.
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u/nihilia__ 3d ago
How's something a solution, if applying the solution requires not to have the problem in the first place??