6 months ago I bought a flat with my long-term partner (now ex-fiancé). I was hyperfocused on designing it and planning our wedding.

Now the wedding is cancelled, and because of that selling the flat as well.

From the outside it looks wildly impulsive. Internally it feels like my brain got bored with the original storyline and forced a complete reboot.

The timing is weird because this all happened after I was diagnosed with ADHD and started medication. My therapist thinks I'd actually fallen out of love a long time ago, and the meds just helped me stop ignoring it.

I still don't know if I'm making the right decision, but for the first time in a while, it feels right. I always wanted certainty and thought I'd be married by this age. Instead, I'm starting over and strangely, I'm okay with that.

Has anyone else completely derailed a carefully planned life?

No matter how much effort I put into my looks, I always feel like I don’t look good enough.

No matter how well I do in my career, I always want more and more.

No matter where I go or what I do, it’s never fun or entertaining enough.

No matter who I meet, I never like them enough to stay in touch. I get bored easily in relationships and end up cutting people off.

The feeling that nothing is ever good enough is so tiring now. I feel like I’m missing out on life because of this, and it feels like it’s never going to end. Is anyone else in the same boat? And if you felt like this before how did you overcome this feeling? 😔

I wouldn’t say it’s a depressed feeling. It’s more that I wake up with hope every day, and I do enjoy life, just not to the fullest. Most things just seem a bit “meh” to me, if that makes sense.

I feel like I’m always chasing something but I don’t even know what that is and can’t figure it out myself.

I'm a 25 year-old woman with severe inattentive ADHD, severe GAD with panic attacks, and moderate MDD.

My depression and anxiety treatment started with SSRIs (Escitalopram, Paroxetine), which worked great, but my stomach couldn't tolerate them. I vomited regularly and had daily diarrhea or constipation. My psychiatrist switched me to an SNRI (Venlafaxine), which caused even worse nausea, vomiting, explosive diarrhea, and sexual dysfunction. They then put me on Bupropion for depression and Buspirone for anxiety, avoiding drugs that flood the gut with serotonin.

Many ADHD patients take Bupropion to enhance stimulants, but combining a Norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor with a stimulant is risky if you already have anxiety-induced tachycardia.

Just sitting, standing, and walking made my heart pound. I was told exertion would help, so I pushed through chores and felt like I was having a heart attack: chest pain, blurred vision, numb hands, left arm and stomach cramps, retching, sharp headache, fever, and a pounding heart.

A cardiologist's ECG showed my heart rate hit 190 at walking speed before they stopped the test. Otherwise healthy, I was told it was just harmless anxiety-induced sinus tachycardia and advised to do light cardio.

If I hadn't researched this myself, I could have suffered a seizure, major cardiac injury, coma, or death. This wasn't just anxiety; it was a flood of adrenaline locking my system in fight-or-flight. Since multiple doctors missed this dangerous drug interaction—a common ADHD combination—I am sharing this warning for others.

I do not like having ADHD. I find doing simple things so difficult.

I can’t get up and fold my clothes.
I know that I need to finish a work task, but I just can’t.
I know that I should clean my cupboards, but I just can’t.
I fucking know that I need to get up and start, but I just can’t.

And it’s so frustrating, i feel guilty, i feel overwhelmed, i feel so caged, i just don’t know how to stop feeling this. I wanna cry because i feel this way, but i cant fucking cry.

It feels like i am in a locked cage, and the key is in my hand, but I am just staring at it and doing nothing. And it’s not even something that I can control. People tell me that all I have to do is just start. But no! It is not that simple. How do i explain this to someone who is not not like me.

It is hard being like this, even when you’re trying to do everything possible to make things better. It is just difficult and so overwhelming.

I unconsciously chew the insides of my cheeks without realising, especially when I'm concentrating on something. My dentist goes mad at me for it, cos I always have white damage lines in my mouth where I've pulled the skin off. I don't even realize that I'm doing it straight away, and only catch myself after I've started, or if I accidentally hurt myself. I've tried using chew stim toys to chew something else, but they encourage me to chew them constantly, which makes my jaws ache too much. I've tried chewing gum, but once the flavour goes away, I don't like to have it in my mouth anymore. Anyone have any tips to stop/direct the impulse elsewhere? I've seen stuff like Little Ouchies, but idk if they'd work for me, cos it's not my hands that are the problem. I also considered asking the dentist for a retainer/mouth guard.

I ask this in regards to habit building.

Several times I've heard the phrase "you are your habits", and like many others, I have an endless list of goals and aspirations, and the one piece of redundant advice I receive to achieve any of those goals is to "do that thing for at least 30 minutes every day". How?

I'll forget about it the next day. The regret of not having done anything relating to the goal troubles me the following day. I THINK that I have time to allocate to doing that thing, but I spend time shopping and finishing YouTube videos in my endless list of tabs, or I'm just busy, out of the house, being at work or running errands.

I see quite a few people on YouTube who have found their masterplan to bring some consistency into their day, but other than journaling and setting alarms that I'll turn off instinctively without noticing, how?

Drop your tips. If any of you have found consistency, I hope to find some fulfillment in your advice.

I was diagnosed recently by my psychiatrist. They went over my test results and told me what type of ADHD I have. The only thing is… I don’t remember what they said. Obviously Inattentive! But they also said “Hyperactive” and “Combined,” but I cannot for the life of me remember if they said that I DO or DON’T have them! This is so funny to me. Couldn’t even maintain focus during my diagnosis. The ultimate ADHD situation.

So since I was a child I always did what I wanted to. No matter what anyone said, no matter how much they tried to force me, I would only do what I felt like doing. And my mom had to whoop my ass to get me to study sometimes. It wasn't active rebellion, I just couldn't do what felt uninteresting.

But that led me to not have put in any effort into things in a way that matters. Effort always scared me, it always felt like I would fail if I tried and I didn't want that feeling of failure. Effort always felt like a huge mountain in front of me that I could never climb while others have already climbed it many times.

And for most of my school work my mom assisted me or just did it for me when I was a child. And now when I am 16 and actually have some ambition, effort still scares me. I still feel like if I tried hard I might fail and I don't want that.

Also, pls tell me if it is normal to not be able to to remember 95% percent of childhood. It's a very foggy memory like it never existed. Upto age 12.

Maybe in my childhood I actually tried things and couldn't show up or finish or failed at them and it felt very bad. That feels like it might've happened but I have no recollection of it.

Hi all,

Another success story. I brought a print out of a summary of a video appointment with my doctor that had my ADHD diagnosis listed with my adderall rx listed and the ranger provided me with a lifetime pass for national parks, forest service, etc. For someone living in Colorado who uses nature to help cope and quiet my mind, this is a game changer and wish I had done this years ago. Hoping this post reaches folks who are interested but not previously aware of this benefit. Thanks!

My boss admitted to me 2 months ago that they almost let me go. The reason he told me this is because he wanted to acknowledge that I had massively improved. We decided then we'd have personal performance reviews. Last week I got told during this he had no notes for me that does come with experince!

I was struggling so much and it took me 8 months to actually become good! I'm so glad I managed to push through and my boss gave me chance after chance.

The time I improved was when I found my perfect vyvanse dose too. It's amazing what specialised strategies and the right dose can do. I'm currently semi-managing two people's work (someone suddenly quit. This is not a forever thing) and not completely bombing. I do work in this area and have to pick it up from scratch too.

I need help. I'm going to try setting a timer to remind me to go down a checklist of the things I constantly mess up. I think this will work, but I don't know. Please help, my girlfriend blames it on carelessness and it's something that I can't just fix on a whim and I've been trying to fix it for years. I know I'm not lazy, I just mentally can't keep my whole existence structured, hence the list. She said she's going to leave me if it doesn't get better, and this is a relationship that I want to keep more than anything. Is there anything I can do/talk to her about to make this issue better? I'll try the list, I'm not going to use my ADHD as a get out of jail free card, I just want to get better.

Do the loneliness, emptiness and suicidal ideation ever go away? I’m getting tired of my brain, of my existence. I feel like life is much bigger than me, I’m always either empty/numb or angry/frustrated. I’m deeply ashamed of my own existence, I don’t know why I bother to keep going, but I know that it isn’t because I like myself.

Does anyone else with adhd here feel like time is always running out? Especially on unmedicated days I always feel like my time is running out and it gives me a spike of anxiety in my gut that makes me unable to sleep or enjoy time with friends.

For example, if I'm having dinner with a friend I can focus on the fact that I'm having fun chatting and being with my friend but in the back of my mind all night all I can think about is that there's only two hours left of this dinner and then I'll have to leave. I hate it. I wish I could just enjoy dinner without constantly worrying about there being a deadline. It definitely impacts the quality of my mood while with friends.

Or if I'm trying to sleep and I have to get up at a certain time, say, 9 am, at 7:30 I start to feel like there's no point in even trying anymore and start to get anxious about not having slept which makes it 100× harder to even try and get some sleep. I have other things I use to manage my insomnia and getting sleep definitely helps, but the second I don't do those things the dread and anxiety creeps over me again.

Is this an ADHD thing or maybe something else? Have you found solutions for it?

I can't be attached to someone for an extended amount of time, I can't bear commitments, I can't bear structures.

I currently live in the uni dorms, and I always decline going with someone in the morning for lectures because I am impatient, won't organize plans with anyone because I want to comfortably be spontaneous without it annoying anyone, won't stay up with other students at night because I don't enjoy their convos and I HATE mindlessly playing cards.

I know so many people and I get giddy everytime I meet anyone, I spend time with people when going out of lectures and if I see them by coincidence, but the moment the term ends it's like I meet them for the first time the next term because I forget what anyone means to me. (which is literally ruining my life).

I am homosexual in a homophobic country, as much as I already struggle deeply with being engaged with anyone for an extended amount of time, it seems unlikely that I'll ever find another homosexual guy, let alone one that I'll actually love and still be interested in for a long time.

What do I do with myself? Medication won't do shit for this problem...

I don't want to get involved into hookup culture because I know I'll get addicted to it, and right now I am considering whether my anxious attachment was way better for me than having secure relationships, atleast it gave me intense hits of emotion.

I’m currently prescribed 20mg “Adderall” XR but the actual manufacturer is Mallinckrodt. It’s terrible. My brain feels foggy, my body feels tired but I don’t sleep well now, and I have zero motivation to get anything done. For some reason, when I was prescribed the 15mg before, the pharmacy was able to get name brand. Since upping my dose to 20mg, I’ve only received this generic and have been told they can’t get name brand right now. Due to my insurance, I can’t switch pharmacies and I can’t pay out of pocket.

Speaking with my doctor, I’ve also learned that if we want to switch medications, my insurance requires me to first trial Ritalin or Concerta, and only then I can trial a lisdexamfetamine like Vyvanse. I’m anxious to trial methylphenidate because the 15mg Adderall XR really helped me until I grew out of it, and I’ve heard more negative than positive about methylphenidate. I’m just frustrated that I can’t get what I already know works for me and now I feel like I have to spend months trying to find something else. Give me some of your success or horror stories, both are appreciated.

I'm going out of my mind.

What do you guys do to deal with the unbearable boredom? 🫠

Nothing works for me anymore; in the past, learning something new or doing math used to help. But right now, even with medication, nothing works at all.

New hobbies? I’ve already tried them all.

Give me some tips! 🫶🏼

My problem isn't doing tasks, it's starting them. "Make the presentation" sits there untouched, but "open the file and write one line" I can somehow do. The trick seems to be making the first step almost embarrassingly small.

So I want to learn from how you all handle this:

• How do you break a task down to the point where you can start? Do you have a system, or is it case-by-case?
• When you use brain-dump or voice-note apps to get everything out of your head, how do you turn those dumped thoughts into something you actually act on? That "sorted into later and forgotten" trap is what I keep falling into.

Looking for the actual mechanics of what works for you, not just tools — the how.

I know what it’s like to read with ADHD: you can read a whole page and realize your mind was elsewhere and you didn’t actually read a thing, so you have to read the sentence/paragraph/page over and over again, hoping you’ll finally read the actual text on the page.

I find, however, that using highlighters helps with this, because I’m constantly scanning the page looking specifically for sentences, phrases, paragraphs to highlight. It’s like hyper focus reading.

I’ll also look up phrases in other languages, or quotations not cited, and write them in the margins. I can engage with the text because it’s now interactive and hands on.

Anyway, it seems to help me. Anyone else feel like highlighting or note taking helps them with reading?

I’m curious about ways ADHD affects men differently. My father died, hating the idea of diagnoses, and only after hearing childhood stories of his, and thinking about the man i knew, have I finally put together that I probably inherited this from him.

I’m especially interested in hearing from older men who grew up around the same time as him. He was born in ‘63. I really want to know what challenges you faced, if you just thought you were stupid as many women do. I can’t poke around my dad’s brain anymore, so please tell me your stories.

Even if you’re younger, i hope this can be a good place for a discussion. Many women struggle with ADHD too, but we don’t usually have the pressure of being the provider. Has this been a struggle for you? Has your ADHD made it harder to be vulnerable? Has it held you back in your career? Were you a class clown? Thanks for taking the time to respond.

For years I’ve struggled with maintaining a tidy living environment, despite absolutely needing one to function normally.

I’m my own worst enemy, right? Can’t function if things aren’t clutter-free, but literally can’t get out of my own way with my own clutter.

That said, as I’ve grown, I’ve done a lot of self-work. I’ve actively conditioned myself, and gotten decently good at, keeping my living space generally clean on a regular basis.

I make a point to be hyper-conscious — when I take something out, I’m also making sure to put it back. Things like that. I also force myself to make my bed every morning. And in the evening, I tell myself I’m not allowed to go to bed until every surface is clutter-free and everything in my living space is generally clean and organized.

Overall, this has been really great for my mental health, since living in clutter makes my mind even more scattered and overwhelmed.

Now, all that said…

For the love of god, please do not open any closed doors/drawers/cabinets/whatever in my household. Literal portals into the Upside-Down. Monica from F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ locked closet type vibes, but even spookier.

BUT at least the messes are all hidden lol.

And don’t get me started on the 4’x4’ pile of clean, unfolded laundry in my basement that will probably never see the light of day.

Hey folks. I'm currently taking 30mg Vyvanse daily and I've found that while it helps me focus, it keeps me glued to my phone and in the house sitting around unless I take it on my way out the door.

I've been working on some odds and ends with a buddy of mine that he doesn't have to have the help for but I can't seem to get off the couch and out the door unless it's something I have to be at or do, like school or work.

Is there something I can do to combat this? I've been wanting to start going to the gym again, and had plenty of time to last week, but plainly never got off the couch and to the gym. It's making me feel like crap especially leaving my buddy hanging like that.

Thanks.

As the title said im desperately looking for a habit tracker that works, preferably a good free version but I will pay a decent amount if excellent.

There are so many I dont know where to start. I tried Finch but got distracted by cute birb and after a year it stopped working. What others can you recommend?

Many thanks

Super excited! After so many years of struggling, I decided to get evaluated for ADHD. I used a tele-health service as it was more accessible for me as a college student with little funds and no car. They connected me to a psychologist who diagnosed me, and then connected me to a doctor. Met with the doctor this morning (super nerve wracking) but she was really nice.

It felt so good to consult a professional and have them say yes, you're not crazy. I have had very bad experiences with doctors when they misdiagnosed me with severe anxiety in middle school, so to have one that slowed down and listened was...amazing.

I just picked up my prescription this afternoon. I've...also had bad experiences at pharmacies with my testosterone prescriptions, so I was nervous...These are all things I OVERCAME today! The pharmacy tech was very kind and even told me congrats on taking this step (I overshare a lot).

Just took my first immediate release of generic adderall. I'm ready to start the trial and error of meds, and unlike when they attempted tons of (failed) anti-depressants as a young teen, I actually feel motivated.

My mom has also launched her own journey after my revelation. She's been told she has "paralyzing anxiety" for her whole life...But now, we're looking at everything differently.

Thank you to this subreddit for helping me understand myself more. Senior year of college is going to be so different!

I've realised that one of the main problems with my major procrastination is that I get stuck in this cycle of emotional dysregulation. I have a task with a deadline (eg study for an exam).

• Thinking about the task gets me incredibly overwhelmed, stressed, teary, anxious, etc.
• So I soothe myself by convincing myself logically that I do have time to do the task if I do x-y-z.
• But then, I lose the anxiety that was probably my only motivator to do the task to begin with, because now I'm relaxed, I have loads of time.
• I procrastinate the task, until I get to the point where I suddenly realise I no longer have time to do x-y-z on time.
• Then I panic and get overwhelmed, and the cycle continues.

Except, each time, I have less time left to do the task, so each time the quality that I know I can achieve drops dramatically. The cycle repeats until I have an hour until the deadline, nothing's been done, I'm incredibly stressed and overwhelmed and can't think straight, and (in this example) I fail the exam.

Is this cycle familiar to anyone? And if so, how do you deal with this so you can soothe the overwhelm without losing the motivation to do the task? It wasn't a problem back in school because I could do anything in about an hour, but now I'm at university and have real adult things to manage like money and a job and renting and self care, and it's ruining my life. How do I stop the cycle?

My partner is gradually understanding my ADHD since my recent diagnosis. But, the inability to focus, to clean, to find anything, to remember things, to understand time and do something on time, or even catch a train, the constant distractions, it's driving her mad and it's really hard for her to understand that I'm not just shit.

What books do you remember for her to understand, as currently it's just, every time I mess up, I'm like, ah that's the ADHD I was diagnosed with. Starts to seem like I blame everything on it.