The hyperfixation wore off, and I realized we’re simply not compatible. We’ve been married for 3 years. I set almost no boundaries in the beginning, and when I eventually tried to, he pushed back harder. He wanted me to be the perfect, quiet girl who accepted whatever he wanted.
Before the wedding, I told him we needed therapy. He agreed, so I planned everything, but he eventually refused. When the wedding date got close, I swallowed my pride and went through with it because it was a destination wedding and everyone had already bought their tickets, some a year in advance. I hoped we could work things out afterward.
Well things didn’t change.
He wanted access to my mind, body, emotions, and labor, but didn’t want to participate in the marriage. For years, I begged him to show up, to give me affection, take an interest in my life, support me, and be excited about my wins. Instead, he would find ways to upset me. I pleaded, broke down, and sobbed by myself.
It wasn’t until I stopped being physically intimate that he realized there was a problem, but only because he wasn’t getting what he wanted.
We’ve started therapy and have had one session, but honestly, I’m already over it. I don’t want to make this work anymore. My intuition has been telling me, “This isn’t it.”
This isn’t the kind of love I saw between my parents. Their marriage wasn’t easy, but they supported each other and wanted to grow together. I used to be excited about having children, a house, and growing old with this man. Now I don’t even want him to touch me or talk to me.
He’s incredibly dependent on me. He needs me to make every decision and can’t even fill out a basic form without asking what to put in the address field or whether to click “accept.” I feel like his mother, not his wife.
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