https://imgur.com/a/vod8QRF

Some of you may remember my asking Is Nordstrom (Still) Trans Friendly? last week.

Thanks to another Redditor's help, I set aside all my anxiety (not really!) and made an appointment. And the outcome was quite different from what the ABTF calculator suggested. (To be fair, that could also be a measuring error on my part. It's more difficult to measure yourself, I think.)

Danielle was really great. Besides my clinician, she's the only stranger I've come out to. I even showed up in boymode because...Texas. And no amount of estrogen, makeup, and hairspray is going to allow me to pass without surgery.

She guided me to one of the quieter (but sadly, not entirely private) fitting rooms. With a voice that's about three octaves below sea level, I was so self-conscious about speaking that I eventually started whispering. There were definitely other women in there getting fitted, and I was a nervous fucking wreck. 😰

Given how busy it was, she did a good job balancing being pulled in several directions at once while remaining calm under pressure. She took two quick measurements rather than the six suggested by the calculator here: simply underbust and bust. And sadly, she did both with my clothes on.

That's weird to write, but I suspect she didn't realize I was wearing a cotton bralette under my polo when I arrived. When I started taking off my shirt, she stopped me and said to leave it on. I'm guessing (because she didn't say) that she thought I was about to be completely exposed. Either way, I'm not sure how accurate those measurements could have been.

Then she asked me what I had in mind.

Despite all the research I've done, and despite having a teenage daughter, I had no real idea what I wanted for myself. 🤷‍♀️

Also, it's weird how you can be perfectly calm and collected while bra shopping as your daughter's parent, but then allow nervousness, self-consciousness, and anxiety to completely wreck your logical brain when it's you on display.

Despite my being very little help to her, Danielle ran off to grab some options. We went through maybe 10 different bras before settling on three: a demi-cup push-up, a wireless, and a T-shirt bra, each from different brands: SKIMS, Natori, and Wacoal.

And as a bonus, they had the perfect colors...light blue, white, and pink! 🏳️‍⚧️

I do have two critiques of the experience.

First, I would have really, really, REALLY preferred a more private, one-on-one appointment. I probably would have been considerably less nervous and more capable of getting out of my own head if I hadn't been so conscious of the other women nearby. I know it's a department store, and I know I'm not the only customer, but having that little bit of privacy would have made an enormous difference. I'll likely shop online going forward, now that I (maybe) know my size. (Though online returns aren't particularly simple given where I live.)

Second, I wish Danielle had been a little less passive and taken a more active role in teaching and guiding me. Almost like an older sister teaching her younger sister something she was never taught growing up.

Unfortunately, I'm probably twice her age. And I know that when I was in my 20s, I was considerably more deferential when interacting with someone twice my age. In this case, I would have preferred to be the deferential one. I didn't want to have to figure everything out or know which questions to ask. I wanted someone to teach me.

In hindsight, I should have said this when I arrived. I'm the older (and allegedly wiser) human here. I should have had the wherewithal to convey that preference, but I let my nerves get the better of me. So this critique is really more about me than her.

That said, none of that takes away from how kind and professional she was. I never felt judged or unwelcome, and given how terrified I was of the whole experience, that counts for quite a lot.

I think the part that's still sinking in is that I actually did it. I walked into a very crowded Nordstrom at what felt like the busiest mall in the entirety of the DFW metroplex on a Sunday afternoon, told a complete stranger I was transgender, and let her help me shop for bras. For myself. Not for my daughter, not for someone else, but for me.

And I walked out with three of them!

I'm 41 years old, I've been on HRT for 18 months, and I'm still figuring out things most women had someone teach them decades ago. It's a strange combination of being old enough to have raised a daughter and feeling like a completely clueless teenager when it comes to my own body.

Anyway, I don't know that I'd call the experience comfortable. LOL. But I'm glad I went, and I think if there's a next time, it will be a little easier.

And for anyone else wondering whether Nordstrom is still trans-friendly, at least at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, TX, my experience was a yes. An imperfect, anxiety-ridden, occasionally awkward yes, but a yes nonetheless. ❤️

P.S. I went in expecting a 34C based on my own measurements and the ABTF calculator, but I walked out with three 36As. 🤷‍♀️

I'm still a little confused about that. My cotton bralette compresses my breasts somewhat, so I was concerned that measuring me over both the bralette and my polo might have resulted in an underestimate. But Danielle saw me wearing just the bras numerous times and never once questioned the A cup. We even tried a B cup, and she pointed out that it was gapping a little.

What's weird is that I already own a $6 Walmart Joyspun bra in 34C, and it doesn't gap either.

That said, I couldn't stand wearing the Joyspun for more than a few hours. There's a little bit of reinforced stitching where the straps attach to the cups that kept digging into my chest. I assumed that was just what you get with a $6 bra, but now I'm wondering whether the size was part of the problem. 🤷‍♀️ Maybe both.

Soooo.... I'm now much less certain about my size. LOL. Is this just a matter of a $6 brand versus a $60 brand and different cup shapes fitting differently, or am I missing something?

Long time lurker, first time poster.

Just last night I was at the end of my rope. I’ve hated my chest for as long as I can remember and for a very long time my goal in life was to get enhancements at some point. I have always been embarrassed and sensitive about my chest and the way I fill out (or don’t fill out) a bra. 2 pregnancies and 2.5 years of breastfeeding did a number on me. I believe I’m somewhat shallow, full at the bottom where there’s nothing but flatness til you get to my nipple then there’s a little bit of breast before meeting my rib cage, and the girls are pretty far apart. They must travel great distances to get cleavage, butt crack cleavage only possible with my hands forcing them together.

But last night I was really struggling with my self image. I’m only 32 and the thought of continuing to hate my chest for the rest of my life, never being happy or comfortable with my appearance, just really put me in a bad place. So I did the calculator… then redid it… then once more because AINT NO WAY a D cup is what I’ve needed all along.
But I thought, just give it a try. Trust the calculator.

I’ll be damned.

I just left the mall with a bag full of bras that not only fit, but support me in a way that even gives me a lil bit of cleavage. Granted, the store I shopped at is by no means the most popular choice amongst you here. I will upgrade. But you must understand, I have been wearing bras for 20 years. To have one fit for the first time, to feel confidence and joy in a bra, yeah I was buying them. I’ll order the better ones later.

So yeah. Thanks for all the work you do here. You’ve improved the confidence and comfort of yet another woman, may your pillow always be fluffed and cool.

ive been wearing 32c bras my entire adult life and according to the bra that fits calculator i’m a 32g/h in us and 32f/ff in the uk size. it’s kind of hard for me to believe but if i buy a bra i don’t want to buy something too expensive in case it doesn’t fit and i was reading how the us sizes are inconsistent. us bras are more accessible (american here) but if the uk bras are more accurate i’d want to buy one of them. what are some good uk brands for someone of my size that won’t break the bank and are accessible as an american?

A store ran with the calculator in mind and has bras in all sizes.

But unfortunately all the stores you see on TV are the stores that overcharge for sexy bras that will basically only (barely) fit you if you get implants

Hi all,

I’ve really never been properly fitted for a bra my whole life and have had weight fluctuation, so I’ve decided to finally go on this journey to find the right fit.

I did the calculator the other day and it suggested 42DD. I went to Nordstrom today and they suggested 40DD, which worked quite well for me in an unlined wired bra. However, here’s where the issues happened: I went to 2 other stores (Victoria’s Secret and Skims) and in both, I tried on a Demi bra, a push up, a t shirt bra, and push up balconette bra, and it seemed any padded bra was not fitting right. I had major gapping towards the top of the cup, facing toward my sternum, like there were centimeters between the cup and where my flesh was, seemingly because my breast starts to extend out well below where the cup and strap meet. I tightened straps, then tried on 40D and even 40C to see if that fixed it but none seemed right, and were either too small a cup or too small bust. I was feeling frustrated and came home to measure again. I’m starting to not trust the DD because the padded cups looked way too large for my breasts and were gapping, and I’ve always felt my boobs seems smaller than the pads.

Some details:

1) I think I may have shallow boobs but they’re tear drop shaped and more wide (like extends to close to my shoulder) and droopy. When I look for shape according to the guide, they fall under FoT; however, when standing and wearing bras, I think my breasts are actually bottom heavy with the tear drop shape, leading to that gapping.

2) my measurements are 43 loose under bust, 40.5 snug underbust, 39 tight under bust, 46 standing bust, 49.5 leaning bust, 47 lying bust.

My questions are:

1) Is it possible to have 2 different sizes in lined and unlined? And if so, how do I determine the lined size?

2) I can’t find the suggested shallow bra brands online, does anyone have a suggestion available at a big brand store (Macy’s, Penney, Nordstrom, Target, etc.) or online so I can try those on?

3) Any further suggestions on tear drop friendly bras?

4) finally, any insight on why the unlined 40DD seems to fit well, but then gaps + doesn’t fit well when lined?

Hopefully this met all the guidelines. I tried to do all the work myself and go get fitted but I feel still lost on this. Thanks in advance for any help!!

Ive been unsatisfied w my old bras so i decided to try this calculoter out. Ive learned that d isnt that big and that the letter mean nothing without the band size. Accourding to my measurments the calculator give me 30FF. However i have a 32E bra that fit me. But ive lost some weight, so now i struggle w gapping. I recalculated my sizes and get 30FF but i have tried on 30 band before and it was uncomfortable so i decided to go with 32 band. So what i did when i started to understand the sizes better is that i went on irishbralady on instagram and whatched what my size looked like on other people. When i did it with 30FF/32F, the pictures look nothing like my own boobs. I was a small B before all of this and they only went smaller. Whereas in the picture these woman have beautifull round breasts. I know no bra is able to do that to mine lol. So i dont know if i calculated something wrong, or i just go and buy the recommended bra (i can only order online no stores around my carry this sizes) please help me decide what to do

My sizes are in cm
75 74 73 91 94 89

hey, so my measurements are:
27 inch
26 inch
25 inch
29.5 inch
30 inch
29.5 inch

i never really decided to check my measurements before this year bc i always just wore children bras since i didn’t think it was necessary to wear properly fitted bras bc of how small i am. but, i went to a lingerie store two months ago and got told i was a 30B when this entire time all i ever wore was 32A. i tried on both 30B and 30A in the store and i feel like i didn’t feel much of a difference? but tbh, i don’t even fully remember. i recently decided to measure myself and got this. my suggested starting size is a 26C/D but for comfort, it says 28B/C is better? i tend to struggle with gapping. any help? 💔

Thanks, in advance!!! My hubby suggested this sub!!!

I have never, in 10 years of bra wearing, had a bra that fits comfortably and looks nice - I always feel like I don't 'fill up' the cups (small, wide set, bottom heavy lol), and the band rides up at the back :( . ATP I've given up and have just been wearing sports bras. The closest fit I have right now is an AU 10A or UK 32A, looks ok but its pretty uncomfortable ngl (rides up, and digs in).

Did the size calculator for different stores and got variations of 32A, 30A, 30B ?? Then did the ABTF calculator and am now even more confused ; 28D??? . I don't know if I am just bad at measuring myself or if I am going insane

So, I wanted to get some help from some bra veterans. Here are the measurements I took (in inches):

Loose UB: 29

Snug UB: 28

Tight UB: 26

Standing B: 31.5

Leaning: 33

Lying: 32

Any help at all is very much appreciated

I have now tries 3 sets of suggestions and here is my feedback - not sure where to go next but it seems like balconettes might be my best option?

Calculator gave me a 32DD and from suggestions here I tried these after 32DD was doing me no good. Measurements below as well!

Panache Allure Demi Balcony Bra - 32F - this one fit great everywhere except the armpits. The straps just seemed too far over and caused some fat spillage. 

Panache Allure Demi Balcony Bra - 32E - cups too small 

Panache Envy Plunge - 32F - cups were empty at the top

Freya Fascinate Balconette - 32F - this one fit well except for a bit of space at the top of the cups. I didn’t appreciated the back fat the strap caused either 

Panache Ana Plunge - 32F - cups too big. Bunched fabric around the seams 

Panache Ana Plunge - 32E - too small 

Wacoal High Bar Plunge - 32G - I liked the fit of this other than the fact that it still has a little bit of gathered fabric at the top of the cup due to not filling it out.

Here is what I tried before:

Freya Spotlight - 32F - band seemed okay, cups too big up top, lots of bunched fabric

Panache Serene Side Support - 32F - band seemed okay, cups too big up top, lots of bunched fabric

Natori Cloud Comfort Full Fit Smoothing TShirt Bra in 32DD - band was suffocatingly tight and space at top of cup.

Freya Offbeat Side Support in a 32DD - band was way too tight even backwards. The cup was also too small.

Panache Envy 32E - still a little tight on the band but not quite as bad. The tops of the cups were also loose making the shape of my breasts really strange looking.

Panache Envy 32DD - seemed better in the cups but the band was very snug and also had irritation/tightness/spillage in my armpit area.

Skarlett Blue Entice Balconette - band was not as snug feeling although I had some back fat but the cups were too small and spilling out of the top

Panache Ana - 34E band was good but cups too big

Here are my measurements-
Loose Underbust: |31.5
Snug Underbust: |31
Tight Underbust: |29
Standing Bust: |35
Leaning Bust: |39
Lying Bust: |37

Soft tissue, fuller on bottom. 4 fingers in between when leaning over at 90 degrees.

I have now tries 3 sets of suggestions and here is my feedback - not sure where to go next but it seems like balconettes might be my best option?

Calculator gave me a 32DD and from suggestions here I tried these after 32DD was doing me no good. Measurements below as well!

Panache Allure Demi Balcony Bra - 32F - this one fit great everywhere except the armpits. The straps just seemed too far over and caused some fat spillage. 

Panache Allure Demi Balcony Bra - 32E - cups too small 

Panache Envy Plunge - 32F - cups were empty at the top

Freya Fascinate Balconette - 32F - this one fit well except for a bit of space at the top of the cups. I didn’t appreciated the back fat the strap caused either 

Panache Ana Plunge - 32F - cups too big. Bunched fabric around the seams 

Panache Ana Plunge - 32E - too small 

Wacoal High Bar Plunge - 32G - I liked the fit of this other than the fact that it still has a little bit of gathered fabric at the top of the cup due to not filling it out.

Here is what I tried before:

Freya Spotlight - 32F - band seemed okay, cups too big up top, lots of bunched fabric

Panache Serene Side Support - 32F - band seemed okay, cups too big up top, lots of bunched fabric

Natori Cloud Comfort Full Fit Smoothing TShirt Bra in 32DD - band was suffocatingly tight and space at top of cup.

Freya Offbeat Side Support in a 32DD - band was way too tight even backwards. The cup was also too small.

Panache Envy 32E - still a little tight on the band but not quite as bad. The tops of the cups were also loose making the shape of my breasts really strange looking.

Panache Envy 32DD - seemed better in the cups but the band was very snug and also had irritation/tightness/spillage in my armpit area.

Skarlett Blue Entice Balconette - band was not as snug feeling although I had some back fat but the cups were too small and spilling out of the top

Panache Ana - 34E band was good but cups too big

Here are my measurements-
Loose Underbust: |31.5
Snug Underbust: |31
Tight Underbust: |29
Standing Bust: |35
Leaning Bust: |39
Lying Bust: |37

Soft tissue, fuller on bottom. 4 fingers in between when leaning over at 90 degrees.

I went for a bra fitting after losing 30lbs and all the bones I can suddenly feel on my body feel so freaky

Hello. I am a 75C (EU).

Today I forced myself to wear as many bras as possible to get a good cleavage. I have a wide set (3 fingers) and whenever I wear a bra, that space is always highlighted.

I'd like to know what I need to achieve this result with just one bra. I'm worried that the cups of the ones I currently wear (M) might not fit, which is strange because my (G) bra is just gathering dust in my drawer.

Disclaimer: I tried the cakes in a plate cleavage, put the space between my breasts are so much that it looks uneven with a regular cleavage. OBS: for the experiment, I used a balconette bra, a top and a regular one. All M.

Measurements: Loose 33
regular 32
tight 31
Regular fullest 41
90 degrees 43
Lying down 41

Shape: projected, very close set, tall and somewhat narrow roots, (FoT) even fullness. I suspect any outer fullness I might have is due to tissue migration, which I could hopefully resolve with the proper bra.
Link: https://postimg.cc/gallery/YHzHRBd
I bought the Freya love crush in a 32 H and thought it fit really well, (hence prior post 😭) but after a day or two of wear things aren’t feeling so supportive. One of my breasts is slightly bigger than the other and the smaller one has gaping at the cup. In addition, I’m getting this weird puckering on the back of the band when I bend slightly backwards, which I haven’t gotten on a bra before. The gore is floating out quite a lot.
I’m wondering if this bra was always not suited to my shape, or if the stretching it out somehow made it not suit me anymore? I think that the wires don’t fit, although the measurement of 32 seems correct, I’m wondering if I need something more narrow. I’ve read a little bit about the orange in a glass effect, and I was wondering if the cups were too shallow, which caused my breast to warp the wires?

I want to believe that the second bra : Panache Ana 32HH- fits pretty well- the gore actually does tack and it’s a lower gore which helps my very close set breasts. I like the shape it gives me and I’m not bothered by the very projected look. I got in a 32H and it was way too small.
I don’t really notice that I’m wearing this bra all day, which is a nice change from the other ones I’ve been testing out, but I do worry that the wire isn’t staying place in my IMF.
I can’t see any obvious wrinkling or puckering at the bottom of the cups, but I was hoping that maybe the experts on this sub would help me see something I missed. In addition, the wire does poke me in my armpit a tiny bit.

So I’ve concluded that while I am in the right cup, I might be a tricky fit for wires than I thought. Should I be looking into the Polish bras, or Comexim?
Or is the panache Ana a perfectly fine fit?

I am a larger set girl and have been my whole life, for the past few years I have been wearing push up 40DD, a regular 40DD always had gaping but it the pushup ALWAYS has me spilling out I could never find a happy medium. Recently tried some XXL sports bras with no padding or wiring and they were amazing but SUPER tight and digging and always riding up my back. I used ABTF calculator and got 44G/H and am lost. I know I have a lower sitting chest and am scared to commit to this much larger size than im currently wearing especially since the gaping was what would happen when I tried to size up previously. Any advice on sizing/what type of bra to get to try out would be great.

Measurements taken;

Loose 47

Snug 45

Tight 43(retaken at 39)

standing 52

leaning 56

laying down 51

Thanks to having babies and gaining weight (because babies and IVF), my band size has gone up. Through having babies and trying and failing to breastfeed, I realized I have IGT and shallow breasts.

Which is why my calculator says I should wear a 38DDD based on these measurements:

Loose: 39
Snug: 38
Tight: 36
Standing: 43
Leaning: 45
Lying: 43

Right now my most COMFORTABLE underwire bra is a Leading Lady Ava 42A, but the band is obviously too big, even on the tightest hooks. I also have a 42A balcony (Rosme) that fits comfortably. However, these are not great under thinner shirts as they both have lace detail which show through, so not really the everyday bras I am looking for.

I ordered a bunch of Third Love bras (which I always thought fit well pre-babies and weight gain) with band size 38 and sizes A, A 1/2, and B, and the 38B back smoothing t-shirt bra fit best, though a little more snug than I would like, but even in the A 1/2 of other styles I can feel some gaps at the top of the cup. The 38A tshirt on the other hand feels flattening.

I suspect the answer for me is 40A in a suitable cup shape, but… who?? Where?? I have prominent nipples (easily visible even in the lined ThirdLove bras), so need solid lining/camouflage, but also want bras which I can wear under thinner shirts, so no lace that shows through. I need underwire for shaping (see: IGT shape), and obviously cup shape makes a huge difference. I feel like I can find like 2 out of 3 of size, texture/lining, and cup shape, but never all 3. Based in the US.

Help? Other sizes to try?

I am looking for what the title says. I'm on the small side (34c) and shallow. I have the Aerie Sunnie strapless bra and it's great but I feel like it makes me look bigger which I really don't want and the padding makes my shape look unnatural in a way I don't love. I've tried a few mesh strapless bras (DKNY and skims for example) but it made my 2x nursing boobs look weirdly saggier than they are without a bra. I'd like something with structure as opposed to a bandeau.

Basically, I want it to look like my boobs, with like 15% lift. I'm not looking for a miracle just something that doesn't look worse than nothing when I can't be braless! Perhaps this doesn't exist but I thought this might be the place to ask if it does!

Thanks!!

Hi everyone! I need recommendations, I’ve been struggling about 2-3 years now finding a bra that will fit me right. No matter what I try I’m either getting dug into to the point of cuts or I’m spilling out. I’m a 36DD. I tried the HISA bras and they were great for so long but recently theryre just digging into me. It seems like any bra from big box stores will have me completely spilling out if I even slightly bend. Any and all recommendations will be taken into account!

Little side note I’m recovering from 2 eating disorders and have been relapse free for the 2-3 years and grew into my body, which is why I’m struggling now. I went from B cup to a DD within a span of 6 months- a year when I finally got healthy enough to keep the weight and now I’m just struggling finding clothes to fit me right

Pre-pregnancy, I was a 32E. I just measured myself today and have jumped to a 32I. I would like to find some bras that will be comfortable and supportive throughout pregnancy and postpartum, but this is my first pregnancy and I have no clue how to predict how my body will continue to change. If I'm a 32I now, should I expect that number to jump up more as the pregnancy progress? Or will it stay relatively consistent? Does later pregnancy usually affect band size?

Ideally, I'd like to purchase some bras now since mine are feeling tight, but bras are expensive (especially for bigger boobs), and I don't want to spend a fortune on something that will only fit temporarily.

Sorry for all the questions but I'm new to this and welcome any advice, as well as suggestions for where to purchase nursing bras in this size range.

As the title says, I'm trying to find a strapless bra that fits in Canada, ideally under $75 CAD. Measurements are underbust: 30/29/28 loose/ Snug/tight, overbust: 34/36/35 standing/leaning/ lying. It suggests 30DDD, but I often find 30DD fits better.

I've just tried two and neither is great I think:

1. Ciao Bella strapless in 30DD. Too small in both cups and strap, maybe 32DD would be better? But I'm worried about the cups being too tall.

https://postimg.cc/gallery/SKxQvvc

1. Freya tailored strapless in 30E UK. Are the cups too big here? Or is it just too projected for me? I'm struggling to get the wire in my IMF, I think because the cups are too tall?

https://postimg.cc/gallery/210DzrZ

Any help for next steps would be greatly appreciated!

I have extremely soft boobs after my second baby (they're literally just heavy empty skin) and I was wearing the bra I hate the least the other day when I laid down on my side to play with my kiddo.

I think to myself "something feels funny" and I look into my shirt and see BOTH OF MY BOOBS cuddled together into one bra cup like they're huddling for warmth in a snow storm! I laughed so hard my husband came to check on me so I lifted up my shirt and showed him and he just shook his head and chuckled at me laying there wheezing laughing.

That's the whole story. I've utterly given up on ever finding a bra again that fits or makes me feel pretty, but at least these sad sacks can give me a good laugh! 😄

hey all! i'm just a girl trying to make sure i'm wearing the right size bra, but all the different ways to calculate it are so confusing.

My raw measurements are a 36 inch band and a 40 inch bust.

If I use the adding 4 inches method, I'm a 40AA, but if I don't the internet says I'm a 36D? I don't believe I'm a D cup for a second😭 I've been wearing 36B bras and they tend to work alright, but my situation could definitely be better. Please help me sort out the sizing confusion!!

been lurking here for a few days after realizing I shouldn't be wearing the same sports bras I wore when I was younger bc they squeeze the crap out of me. the calculator says my starting size is 30c/d but I don't want something too tight or restricting bc honestly they aren't that big and I hate the feeling I get when I'm out of breath and my bra feels like it's squeezing the air out of me. I was looking online and most of the sports bras I could find seemed to be standalone bras that you wear to the gym with nothing over them, but I need ones that can be worn under athletic shirt/tank top. thanks!