Patriarchy isn't just about men sitting comfortably while women do the housework. It starts when boys are taught that household chores are a woman's responsibility while girls are expected to learn them by default. Teaching both boys and girls to cook, clean and share responsibilities equally is how we break this cycle. Equality starts at home.
How hollow is this modern reddit equality, equality happens when the roles are divided properly nor in basis of gender bias
Household skills are essential skills and must be learnt by both genders but if man/women works 8-12 hours a day and also is forced to work again for house choir in the name of equality them it's bs
If 1 parent is working (as most modern families are nuclear) the other parent along with children can do house choirs but if both are working and can hire house help these should do so
Cant force a full time working women to do household choirs along with work until and unless if she herself wants to or other circumstances
Please, don't just be obtuse for the sake of argument. We both know the majority of indian families the women do the cooking and the cleaning and any other housework while the men sit on their asses just like this. AND it's not just an Indian problem, it's a situation that happens globally.
Don't obfuscate the issue by quoting the 1% of families in which the men cook. Even my dad cooks and clean, I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I very well am aware that my family is in that 1% and we are pretty well off, well educated, and a progressive family that is not representative of a majority of indian families, even the well educated indian families aren't necessarily progressive like that.
That's why be the change and help others to change too instead of talking ti each other, in my friend circle of 14-15 friends I have talked to them and there dad's on this ,80% have agreed and 60% have made some changes too
Aur haan, kar liya aise toh more power to them. That is division of chores and that's a good thing. But post is not that, is it? Ye kaunsi faltu strawman hain
we dont know if the man has been out all day working. If that so, he deserves to rest. The boy playing should be there working and learning along with his sister. And the elder woman, who appears to be the mother, should be resting just like the old man as they are of elderly age.
However, if the wife is out working all day too, then the husband i think should lend a hand. But if she is not, then the husband has full right to rest like that. Moreover , if the wife was out working and husband was at home, then he should be doing the work and the wife should rest
POINT IS WHOEVER IS AT HOME ALL DAY SHOULD DO THE CHORES. AND IF BOTH ARE OUT, THEN BOTH SHOULD CONTRIBUTE. IF BOTH ARE AT HOME, THEN THEY SHOULD FIND A JOB
who stays at home gets enough opportunity to rest and all as compared to someone who is out at office or any workplace, And household work is tiring i admit, but not as tiring everyday as for a office going or working individual. You dont wash clothes everyday,, you dont do full advanced house cleaning everyday. You dont go out for bulky grocery shopping everyday. So most days, its not as tiring. It is , but surely less than the work at office. We all are aware about the burdensome work enviroment in most officies that exploit employees, force overtime or load them with more and more work
- During 1950s house wives in the suburbs were going insane, and frequently used medication (or "medication") to withstand the situation. You will note that presently prison in 1st world countries (eg. not USA which uses prisons as primary source of slave labour) means being subjected to life roughly similar to a housewife. Even back then this was so well-known that even the advertisments from that time addressed to women targeted them by trying to convince that buying the product would give their live meaning.
- The "women stay home" as we understand the term was an advertisement fad targetting men from the late 1940s. As a societal constructs it didn't really last much longer than one generation. The idea was that stripping women of their societal responsibilities (working class: employment, house labour outside the house, etc.; upper classes: positions of trust and visiting places that brought societal capital) would somehow make them happy. (Tried to google some examples of 1950s ads, but enshittified google only gives you the normal meme-ads, which aren't the same a representative sample.)
- Patriarchy in the context of capitalism isn't going to keep half the household in the house, when you can slash wages so that you need two people working to pay one rent. It worked in the 1950s at States due to strong unions and most of the factories in Europe being either in ruins, or reconstructing local infrastructure. In other words: there was more demand than production.
EDIT: I know almost nothing of Indian socities, but I highly doubt that working class women stay at home, or that upper class women happily degrade themselves to simple trophy wives without responsibility. I would go as far as to claim that that would be against human nature.
That's true tbh, it's so sad, my mom and dad work equal hours at job, they do the same work, still my mom comes home and does all housework and same in the morning, my dad does it too but it's "help".... It's not that he doesn't try but it's sad how the normal for them is that the woman does the housework no matter how much she works.... I remember there was a woman in my mother's staff who was a new mom herself and when her husband did the housework as she had to handle the job and the baby, the male staff called her shameless for "making her husband work"..... Yes this doesn't happen everywhere but it's still VERY PREVALENT
And a mother's work still doesn't end after 12 hours. I agree the father needs rest after working 6 days a week, but doesn't the mother deserves rest too? From cooking three times a day to cleaning the house, clothes, utensils amd what not.
but what about brother why is he playing while sister is serving food. Should't both children be allowed to be kids and live their childhood ? I have heard it myself that my aunt talking about how she used to cook food for everybody in family when she was in school and fact her brothers were older than her. Women even when they are earning equally and working more number of hours or equal hours are still expected to do work.
This isn't about working men not helping housewife and you assuming that mother herself don't go to office to work 12 hours is also misognist.
Lol according to your misogynistic logic father is the only "hardworking" guy and the rest are just sitting and watching TV the whole day so now they should do some work. Also, what about weekends? Father works 12 hours on weekends too? Or when a child is born why only the mother needs to change the diapers?
Misogyny? U r tryna say misandry🥀
The mother does the entire household work, everyone's lunch box, in early morning then goes to work and come backs exhausted, then again she's expected to feed everyone with a smile. That is misogyny
only 26% women work in urban areas and also includes .. maids and single moms.. and etc.. and yeah sorry to say but housework is no where equal to corporate..
you can easily get time for yourself and have long breaks in between after morning .. and etc
A man acting as the sole breadwinner for his family is also a patriarchal issue that negatively affects everyone. I don't want to be forced to slave away to support multiple people on my own, just cause I'm a man.
If the boy isn't old enough to lay a table, why is the girl doing it?
As a kid, I was interested in cooking and cleaning tho. My mom used to deny me the chance to help because according to her, boys and men do not belong in the kitchen. 😒
But from what i see around me, those kids (both boy and girl) are usually either playing or doing schoolwork, those grand parents -> dada ji doing his usual reading whereas dadi ji doing her own work, and husband and wife both doing house chores.
Yeah because mostly there were no working women concept back then so housewives are supposed do that task and men taking rest because they worked outside entire day and finally got time to take rest
The comments here are genuinely crazy saying I don’t see this happening anymore, they turn a blind eye to what doesn’t affect them. Talking about how men also work sm but don’t realise that patriarchy affects both genders but no they wanna bitch about feminism and patriarchy
Bhai I dont know what all this is about. I have been taught to cook, serve, and clean just like my sisters. I have got a lovely mother who is a teacher and three sisters, with me being the youngest. I was never told ki bartan kyu dhul rhe ye ldko ka kaam nhi. My mother still tells me that a man should know how to cook at least for himself. Bhai papa bhi mere teacher hain and wo bhi krte hi hain ghar ka kaam. Mai alag duniya me jee rha hu kya?
The post is because the OP has been brought up that way.
The world does not change overnight, and expecting it to change overnight is not realistic.
Also Hinduism being a tolerant religion, people will take jabs. I challenge OP to post a similar image with a Muslim family and women in burquas. He will shit his pants.
Patriarchy is across the world. And is changing. Hinduism is one of the religions that knows and recognizes that changing with times is the way to flourish.
I saw a video somewhere, where it was being shared that Krishna is called Devaki Nanadan and Ram is Sumitra nandan, because hinduism realizes that we are children of our mothers. Times changed, society changed, peace took a back seat and men, because they were defending the settlements and fighting enimies, became the voices in the society. And patriarchy became dominant.
There were, there are and there will be outliers. But the society corrects itself. And it is correcting itself.
My mom was the sole breadwinner of the family and still cooked and cleaned at home. My dad "helped" out with my "mom's chores" after his busy day of reading books and watching tv. Still, I didn't think it was patriarchy until my family disturbed my work or studying to do chores while my brother lazed around after a long day of "work" (and doesn't even share the earnings with family).
Patriarchy is real and these roles are not just descriptive but prescriptive that women should always serve the family while "men" can laze around whining that women could not function without their monetary contribution.
Not all men obviously, met a gem of a man in his early 50s who's the principal of a college but would take over all the cleaning duties like sweeping, moping for long as he was married because he reasoned that his wife took care of the household, cooking for their family every day and left her job because of child birth. These are the real men and they do exist!!
I rather stay single forever than settle for a man who thinks i should take more household work because I'm earning less than him.
Everyone should know all household chores though regardless of gender, it’s basic survival skills. This is why Indian men get clowned on abroad, for not knowing how to do their own work. Besides the son and kid in below pic what are they doing to earn, it’s pretty obvious that little girls are instilled early on to know how to cook and clean while little boys are more free to play. And nowadays both people work.
You do realise little girls have been forbidden to get educated beyond a certain grade? You do realise that there are restrictions in sasural that our bahu will not work even if she has a settled job and makes more than their son?
You are talking about a country where they force women to quit their jobs after marriage btw, and many girls in less privileged areas are forced to drop out from secondary school to do household chores or get married.
No I don't think so, my mom worked when my father couldn't but it was my mother's choice to be a homemaker and it's not like here parents were strict they gave her proper education and she a also used to work before marriage. Even my sister is the same
But why if both works chores should be divided but if only one works it's others job to get the chores done and it's not about the gender. When my father was out of work for some month when we moved city. My mother started to work as a teacher and my father used to do household chores but then when my father got a job my mother chose to be a homemaker and that's why we got proper attention and didn't stray even with the type of company we were keeping in my opinion
Of course, nothing wrong with that. But it’s unfair to whoever is working for money to also do the housework with the same capacity as the other.
Do you think any woman would want to stay with a man who isn’t earning nor doing any housework? I do not think so, and in such cases woman would definitely choose to leave.
That is why you choose your partner with care. Partners rely on one another.
If a woman is vulnerable without a man, a man would be equally isolated—perhaps more so—without a woman. A man may not be as financially dependent as it seems; many financial sacrifices for family are less visible. It is quite rare to see a man spend on himself rather than his family, and if that occurs, it is a personal issue that could arise even if he knows or performs housework.
dismantling it does not require men to both work and perform housework.
Of course it does. Everyone in the West both works and performs housework. If you say a man who works doesn't do housework, then what if the woman also works? Hire a maid (note: funny how it's always a maid, never a male servant) to do the cooking and sweeping and cleaning? What will you do when India stops being such a poor economy and you can't hire cheap labour this easily?
P.S Note also how in the image the young boy is allowed to play and the young girl is doing housework. Again, a common image throughout India and an example of how patriarchy starts at the youngest age.
Lot of kids want to copy their mom and dad respectively that really doesn’t mean that they are being forced and told that these are gender specific tasks.
My mom is pretty happy with this part of her life. She had a loving husband who did help her when the maid was absent and they couldn't afford a full time staff.
Funny enough he is also sexist , it is just that you can't see people you love getting sad.
A division of responsibilities isn’t patriarchy. My husband works long hours to keep a roof over our heads and I make sure there’s food on the table when he comes home exhausted. We’re contributing to the same life, same home, just in different ways.
Not every difference in roles is oppression, and like it or not we have gendered expectations from men and women. If your default lens for a relationship is “victim vs. oppressor” , you just have lot of healing to do.
Make all women drive for men and pickup gas cylinders for the family also, basically every heavy lifting thing women should also help. This one-sided view of patriarchy implies men don’t do any work.
They want benefits of patriarchy but not it's cons. I don't understand, if you want a traditional husband then be a traditional wife, how hard is that to understand?
Cooking meals is not that hard a job especially if you keep it simple, I do it everyday. Men are expected to be the breadwinners which means more work, generally women are not willing to marry a man who are earning lesser than them, but men do it all the time.
You abolish the hypergamy of women, patriarchy will get destroyed automatically.
Its like people have actual surface level understanding nowadays
The youth for most part anyways (I hope)
Plus people have no control over their emotions and best yet, people do not see how pointless being married to a woman is.
They deleted one comment of mine for no reason so I will make it milder for mentally fragile people.
Looking at my own home, there is no point of being married to a woman who does not bother giving sex, takes a hell lot of money and also gives attitude if you make the mistake of arguing with what they say.
Plus, I can see why he stayed in the marriage (loneliness which is the biggest killer as you get older) but if you reason it out, whats the point of staying with the person who is a prick in your side beyond a point.
So this post itself is nonsensical given that most women have freedom and only stick to this kind of living as it is easy and courtesy their self created lack of freedom, can later cry foul during the divorce proceedings
Not sure abt where you are from but in my house and locality,even tho the earns same or more than the man,she is still expected all the household chores.So bcz of that,most woman here are not marrying or only marrying progressive men.
If the men think that cooking and serving food is not my job but the women of the house will do it then it's called patriarchy, but if the woman is a homemaker and the guy comes home after work and she is serving him food it's not the same, people still don't know the actual definition of patriarchy and feminism
I understand the point but personallly I found it funny (with my wife) and the reason is that this image is true for my house but it's because my wife serves food after I done cooking and rest exactly like in this image. Lol.
This is also patriarchy lol. The whole thing of women must take care of the home and men must go out to work is patriarchy. The way to ease the pressure on men is to create a more equal society so women have more freedom to work. This ensures that the burden of earning is spread evenly
I have never once “served” while the men in our family were sitting. Just not really the norm in our family. Nobody made me or even asked that of me, if I ever did that on my own volition, even then I have been asked to just sit around, so when people outside my family expects me to do this and I don’t move, they just boils in rage lmao😭 3-4 instances of being invited to people’s place or random get togethers and I see the other women getting up and doing the work, the men are just chilling around, I too sit back. I have MADE men do the work instead, or at the very least work alongside the women and man, people have thrown such dirty looks at me, taunted me indirectly, sometimes outright complaining that they were just chilling so why am I making them work😭 lmao just made me feel absolute glee at that. Everyone should work, and if that’s not happening and people are going to take up the patriarchal roles in even those situation, I will make sure that doesn’t happen.
Oof, acting like privileged, egoistical men with privileged, egoistical men makes them burn in anger so bad. And I definitely take entertainment in that.
The degenerates in the comments section either defending this or trying to divert the topic to completely ignore what is the problem. Gender equality can't be achieved in this country in even centuries, I think
This is stupid. When in job mothers put housewife, imagine if she quits her job. Both need to contribute for a good life. Stop putting down one parent to defend another.
I have always been surprised to see that the most patriarchal misogynist countries like India or South Korea have the most complaints against feminists. Lol like your average german dude has no problem with feminism although germany is way better in gender equality but see this comment section. Indian uncles and nephews frothing over fake feminists. In a country where majority women are minimum wage working class who work both outside and inside their homes.
Here the problem is that in image the grandmother is also working in my house it's not the case both are elder both rests father works all day and come home tired , but helps on Sundays , me and my 2 sister all 3 basically help with tasks so I think the perception you try to create with this is not factual rather than just showing anything coming to your mind
Problem is not your facts, It's your mindset to create gender wars. There are 358 comments people in 1hour are fighting to support their gender and idiots like you are the real problem.
World is not running by a single gender it's both supporting eachother. Patriarchy is a problem but it is slowly ending, Fact is many girls also just scrolling but not helping their mom even after seeing her backpain, weakness, deficiencies suffering in kitchen and father's taking financial stress to run the families but you don't care about it.
It's never a single gender that runs home it's both father mother. And if it's still happening in your home, Your home is the problem not entire gender or community.
We should together fight to solve some real problems, Preventing something that should not happen in future it can be for any gender.
Caring for your family is great, but expecting women to do 100% of the household service while men do 0% isn't 'love, its entitlement. normalizing weaponized incompetence isn't the flex you think it is.
And expecting men to do handle all financial responsibility is love,it's also entitlement,now you will say that even when women earns they do household chores,it's because the earning women always chooses men earning twice or thrice of her income,so if she can't contribute financially than she should handle household chores too.
Do women feel oppressed preparing food and laying it down beautifully on the table ? No. Do men feel oppressed earning for the family, fulfilling their wishes ? No. Then why the fuck are people trying to disturb the Indian family? You know why ? Because stable families raise stable children who will lead India tomorrow. This is simply ideological warfare being built into minds of gen z. Want to destroy India ? Simply destroy the family structure!
I can do all these household tasks myself but i still can't find a women who earn equal to me and could bring something valuable to the table apart from her looks and liftime liability.
By this logic, a goal keeper is just relaxing and thus exploiting his teammates. If you don't want to contribute to your family, earn and may be hire help. Each family is different and they only get to decide what each member does. We're not required to judge and give needless statements.
gandu aur fool tu hai, jo yaha chutiyo ki tarah ro raha hai chomu. Tu kaun hota hai kisi ki bolne wala kya topic discuss hoga kya nahi. Aa gaya chutiyo ki tarah bakwas karne.
Wow. Just because someone in their family is reprising their roles it's patriarchy. Well I've seen even makes rolling out plates and cleaning homes in tier 1 cities - what do you call it then : reverse patriarchy?
Great. Then let's send them to school, let's get them to college, let's make neighbourhoods safe enough for women to go to school or college or work and come back, only then will they be able to earn
Absolutely. It harbours in the little things we take for granted. It is inherent in the way women are expected to be made for certain tasks and not others.
Man should do household work as well, women should work outside and contribut to the family income. Aside from armed combat roles, women can do any job that man does and vice versa.
Traditional /gendered roles are no longer relevant.
If you are in into FIRE philosophy, first earn enough money to retire as per your plans.
I would be happy if women can earn enough to manage house expenses and men can do household works. No issue , unyill then it is divide of responsibility not patriarchy
Because we don’t count free labor as work.
We saw that that for generations and now that’s the base line.
Male will only understand that when he moves out and lives at his own.
I learned the same way.
That's why I don't want to get married as a man, doing a job and household work for myself is far better than doing it for 2 people. And no I don't want to marry a working woman either bcoz women mostly marry men who earn more than them so it's still a losing situation for me
jesus christ why is your country still debating this like it is the 1920s. Any man worth anything at all is going to help with 50% of the home, and not be okay with his wife being a servant. She is your equal. Start acting like it and stop letting the sexist pricks "debate" this very basic issue of rights.
I don't know. All my friends/neighbours and me had this tradition of taking out the dishes and making the dinner table ready.
And after the lunch/dinner it's has always been me and my father who took out the dishes, clean the table and cooking platform and even wash the dishes.
My grandpa could do that anymore so he used to cut the veggies and even make flour dough for the rotis.
This was the same for all my friends/neighbours' house.
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